A Beautiful Rock (5 page)

I really wish that Lisa hadn’t looked me up online. I was kind of hoping that she could be the one person in my life who didn’t know about the shit things I’ve done. It would have been nice to have a clean slate with someone and be able to base a friendship solely on the present.

But, that’
s obviously not to be. I lean over and place my glass on the side table next to hers and instead of telling her the same story of heartbreak that I told the tabloids, I tell her the truth.

“I did it because I was jealous.”
She sits and listens as I tell her about my relationship with my brother, Theo. “I’ve always been insanely competitive with him, and really, he was just trying to do the things he loved. And I was always there making sure I was better than him at everything.

"
He excelled at music, so I excelled at music, and I did it bigger and better than he did. If he was interested in a girl, I'd go and ask her out. No matter what I did to him - he took it.” I rub my hand back and forth over the top of my head. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted him to fight for something. But he never fought; he just accepted that I was better. He encouraged me, he helped me and did everything he could to be a good brother. And I just kept stomping all over him.

"I know why I did it. I just
had this need to be the best, and he let me. Then we met Naomi. Naomi was this sweet girl who could see the good in everyone. She stood by me and continued to be my friend even though I kept screwing around leading her on.

"She was just
so good
, you know? And I didn't want to ruin it with my shit. Then I found out she was interested in my brother, and I couldn't stop myself. I started to pursue her.

"Long story short. I didn't win. She chose Theo. And I got so pissed t
hat I got up on stage and almost ruined all our careers. I could have destroyed everything we'd been working for with that one song. Luckily, I didn't. But the fact of the matter is, I didn't care. I was so caught up in my own bullshit but I didn't even give a thought about anyone else. I was jealous. I was selfish. And I don't deserve this life I've been given as a result. Truth is, Lisa, I threw away my family that day. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

Lisa stands f
rom where she’s been sitting, quietly listening and moves to sit next to me. “Ok,” she says, slapping her hands on her knees as if she’s made a big decision.

“Ok what?” I ask, genuinely confused. I just poured my heart out to her and she’s saying
‘ok’?

“Ok. I’ll be your friend.
Perry’s a very good listener, but he doesn’t answer back. I do answer back. So…” She shrugs and looks all accepting of this thing we’re starting.

I laugh. I can’t help it. All of a sudden I feel lighter. I’ve been holding that truth in for such a long time now. I don’t know why I’m telling her things I’ve never spoken out loud before, but there’s something about her. I trust her
.

“Just… no funny business ok? Friends is as far a
s this thing goes.”

“I can live with that,” I say, letting out a deep breath. She hands me my glass again and presses play on the movie.
I watch for a few seconds then turn to her again. “I bet I can get you to change your mind.”

She glances over at me, her mouth turned up slightly in an amused grin.
“Is that so?”

“It is. No mortal woman can resist my charms for too long.”

This causes her to drop her head back and let out this beautiful throaty laugh.

“Perhaps
I
am the exception to that rule,” she smiles, although when her eyes meet mine, they lock.

This feeling is often referred to as ‘something passes in the air between us’
but it feels more like our souls connecting and speaking to each other in a language we can’t hear. When we finally drag our eyes away from each other, I feel like I know her and she knows me.

I watch the movie, but I don’t really see or hear what’s happening on screen.
Instead, I’m lost in my head. This isn’t something I’ve ever experienced before. Normally, I meet a girl, I find her attractive, take her to bed and when I’m sated – I move on. I certainly don’t seek them out and watch movies with them and their dog as… as friends.

This is all new to me. It’s
the most normal I’ve felt for a long time, and you know what? I kind of like it.

I could
really get used to this.

When the movie finished, Marcus stayed a while longer and we just talked. Surprisingly, it was kind of nice.
And extremely normal.

I don’t know why Marcus felt safe enough to tell me the real reason behind what happened with his old band, but I’m glad he did. It made me see him as being more human
than rock god, and guy-I-should-steer-clear-of-at-all-costs. And the fact that Perry really likes him is a huge factor in me being ok with him. Perry loves people, but he NEVER loves people like he loves Marcus. Dogs are good judges of character, so I’m willing to give Marcus a chance just because Perry wants me to. (Hey, don’t judge me - if I need to use my dog as an excuse to change my mind about someone, then I’m well within my right to. If you had some guy spill his guts to you like I did, then you’d probably change your mind about him too – with or without the dog vouching for him.)

A
week later as I do my slow walk around the neighbourhood while Perry does his daily territory mark, I’m still thinking about all the things we spoke about. I think Marcus really needs to fix his relationship with his family. His parents seem as though they really miss him and his brother also seems more than willing to sort things out. I think the only thing in Marcus’s way is Marcus himself.

For a while there I thought about telling him a bit about my own family. But I realised that
it would be pointless to do so. It could actually freak him out and since it’s highly likely that when Marcus needs to go on tour again, our friendship will be over, I just don’t see the point in getting into my own crap.

I’ve always been a firm believer that people come and go in your life when you do and don’t need them. I have a feeling that my friendship with Marcus is
the universe’s way of getting Marcus to look at his life and make some changes and for me to stop being so instantly judgemental of people.

I mean, I
immediately decided that Marcus wasn’t worth my time because of my own history. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind that there could actually be an actual person underneath that façade who is starved for some sort of meaningful human interaction.

My only problem with this whole ‘friendship’ thing is that I don’t really know what I should tell
Sandra. Now, I know that there’s really nothing going on between the two of them. I know that Marcus is unlikely to even remember her. But I also know that she remembers him very well. And to my eyes, she seems hung up on him a little. If I let her know that he’s been visiting me it could really damage our friendship. I don’t want that. I’ve known for her over a year now, and I don’t want something that I know will be fleeting and is essentially unimportant, getting in the way of things.

But at the same time, I don’t want to give up on Marcus. After everything I’ve been through in my life, it would be nice if I could influence
just one person to move forward and become more than a cliché.

I think I should keep it from her
unless she asks me a direct question. I don’t see the point in upsetting her, especially when Marcus and I aren’t going to be anything more than friends. I think that’s best… right?

Perry stops at yet another tree and cocks his leg. As I stand there and
patiently, lost in my thoughts, I wonder what I'm really worried about; it's not like I've actually heard from Marcus since last Friday night. He left a little after midnight and that was the last I saw of him (well, in person anyway… I may, or may not, have done another Internet search and seen photos of him with one of our upcoming musicians taken at some sort of event for the rich and fabulous.)

Perry
pulls at his lead, snapping me from my thoughts so I start walking, before he settles in beside me at a happy trot. As we near our house, he lets out an excited yelp then surges forward, almost reefing his lead from my hand in his bid to reach home faster. Instantly I see why. Marcus’s car is parked out the front of my house again.

My heart starts to beat
a little faster. “Looks like your man crush is here to see you,” I say to Perry as soon as we’re within Marcus’s earshot. He’s looking very casual sitting on my front step, in a pair of well-worn jeans, a faded red retro looking T-shirt, and a baseball cap for some team I don't even know. In his hands, he holds a pair of Ray ban Aviators as he swings them side-to-side by the arm.

“Hey,” he smiles,
as Perry and I walk up the front path. Perry pulls forward, so I release the lead and let him run to Marcus.

“I feel like you and
I are going to end up fighting for custody over him,” I joke, as I watch them greet each other.

Marcus takes a hold of Perry’s lead and stands to face me. “
I thought maybe we could do something today? I could take you out for coffee or something? I would have called, but I forgot to get your number…”

I scrunch my face up a little. “I don’t know Marcus. I said I don’t really want to be spotted out with you. I’m a private person for a reason. I don’t want to draw attention to myself.”

“I’ll wear the hat and glasses. No one even notices me when I go out. I promise. Let me take you out for breakfast. It’s the least I can do after last Friday when I gate crashed your movie.”

I bite my lip in contemplation. “Ok,” I say
. “But if even one photo of me and you ends up online or in a tabloid somewhere then you’re going to have to break up with Perry and leave me alone – alright?”

“Deal,” he grins, flashing me that
disarming smile of his. I swear this man is lethal. He’s got me spending time with him when I swore I never would, and now he’s got me agreeing to go out in public with him. At what point am I actually going to be able to say no to him?

“I’ll just put Perry in the backyard,” I say, moving toward Marcus and
holding my hand out for the lead.

“Ok.”
He does that thing again where he brushes my hand as he passes me the lead. I hate that my breathing changes when we connect, and that for some reason, our eyes lock and I struggle to break away.

Clearing my throat, I drop my eyes to the ground and point at the house. “I’ll just…” I start to say
as I move to head inside, but figure the pointing will suffice because, if I keep talking, I’ll end up rambling and looking all nervous and flustered – which I am, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Racing through the house, I unhook the dog leash and make sure Perry has fresh water in his bowl before
I grab my purse and head toward the front door. Just before I get there, I see a flash of myself in the hall mirror and freeze, taking in my appearance.

Shit. I should probably change. I’m currently in a pair of leggings, an oversized t-shirt
that has ‘Wicked 66’ printed on it, and a pair of running shoes. My hair is in a high ponytail and once again I have no makeup on. I hardly look decent enough to be going out to breakfast.

I take a step toward my room to change but stop myself. “This isn’t a date,” I remind myself, then readjust my course
, grab my bag, spray some deodorant on, and head to the front door.

“Ready?” he asks
with a smile as he heads over to his car and hits the button on his keychain to beep it open.

His question causes me to rethink the changing part. “Why? Should I get changed?” I reply immediately.

“No,” he laughs. “I was just asking as in, ‘can I get in the car now’. Your outfit is perfect.”

“Oh good. Well, you’re just in jeans and a shirt, so I didn’t think I needed to get dressed up or anything. We’re just going for breakfast at a normal café or something right?”

His eyes settle on me from across the roof of the car, a look of amusement on his face as he watches me ramble. Fuck. I hate that I’m feeling nervous right now.

“Just get in the car.”

I do as he asks. I’ve never been in a Porsche before, and I immediately regret getting in one this time. “Um, do you think we could take my car?” I ask, as I try to adjust in my seat so my head isn’t pressed up against the roof at an odd angle.

He looks over at me and starts laughing. “What the hell? I’m taller than you. Why is your head pressed up against the roof?”

“It’s not my fault that all my height is in my body,” I retort, feeling indignant. Seriously, who makes cars with such small interiors anyway? “I don’t even know how the hell you’re fitting in. What are you doing? Driving from the back seat?”

He laughs again. “Almost.”

I open the door and get out. “Ok. I’m sorry. I just can’t sit in there. I feel like I’m on that episode of the Simpsons when that really tall man has a tiny car because that’s all he can afford and Nelson laughs at him. I’m going to feel like every time we’re at a seat of lights someone is going to look over and go ‘Har Har!’ and then I’m going to have to embarrass each and every one of them in return. It would make for a very long day and we’d never get the chance to eat because I’d be too busy wreaking vengeance upon all those who had the audacity to find my abnormally long body squished into a tiny Porsche, hilarious. It’s not that I don–”

“Alright. We’ll take your car,” he interrupts, effectively ending my ridiculous rant
. “I’m driving though, ok?”

I dig into my hand
bag and press the button on my key fob to open my garage before tossing him the keys. “I hate driving. You can drive all you want.”

“You have a Landcruiser?” he asks as the door lifts to reveal my car.

“Yeah? So? I like to sit up high. You’ll find that even at your height, you’ll actually be able to sit in the front seat in this car.”

“It’s more a truck than a car.”

“Yeah, well… one day I might decide to go four wheel driving on a beach somewhere. And then I’ll be high-fiving myself mentally for being awesome enough to buy a Landcruiser beforehand.”

“Have you ever taken it four wheel driving?”

“No,” I reply simply.

“Fair enough,” he laughs as he opens the car door and climbs into the cabin
. When he starts the engine, The Doors,
Break on Through
starts blaring through the speakers.

I make a move to turn it down but he stops me. “Leave it,” he yells over the sound. “It’s much better than that modern shit people are playing these days.”

I can’t help but laugh as I relax in my seat and he reverses us out of the driveway. I’m surprised that he isn’t singing along to the music. He’s just tapping out the beat on the steering wheel with his fingers instead. When the track ends and
20
th
Century Fox
starts playing, I decide that I may as well sing along – it’s actually hurting me not to because I freaking love singing in the car.

Tipping my head back, I yell out the chorus line. I can sing just fine
. I’m actually capable of playing an instrument or two as well, but there’s something about just yelling to really loud music that feels so good.

Looking over, I see that Marcus is grinning and alternating between watching me
and the road, so I just start yelling the song at him until it gets to the point that we’re both laughing so hard that I can’t even sing anymore.

“What? Don’t you like being yell/sung at?” I
ask, forcing my words out through my laughter.

He responds with more laughter
, and I find myself just watching him and admiring this moment of happiness with a person I never thought I’d share a laugh with. Slowly, my laughter fades and my expression grows serious as the song comes to an end, and I’m forced to look away from him. He’s just… so bright to my eyes, and I feel a little like I’m caught like a deer in headlights.

As I look out the window,
I actually pay attention to where we’re going. I had thought we would be going to one of the cafés not far from my home but it’s been fifteen minutes of driving, and I’m wondering where he’s taking me.

“Where are we going?”
I ask as I lower the volume of the music so I can be heard.

“For a drive.”

“To where?”

“Katoomba.”

“Katoomba? Are you serious? That’s over an hour away. It will be almost lunch by the time we get there.”

“If it’s the first meal you have
. It’s still breakfast,” he informs me.

“What’s in Katoomba that’s worth driving all that way just for a meal?”

“Lots of cafés and lots of quiet. I always find that if I go where no one is expecting me to be, then no one bothers me at all. People expect celebrities to hang out at really trendy restaurants in the city. They don’t expect you to drive for an hour just for a quiet cup of coffee.”

“Good point. I’ll go with your judgement then
. I’m sure you’ve got this down pat by now.”

“I do. The photos you would have seen online, are all photos I was aware of. Did you notice each one was posed for? There isn’t a single image of me walking down the street or sitting in a restaurant right?”

I think back and realise that he’s right. Every photo was at an event of some sort and he was obviously aware of the cameras.

“
You know Marcus, I’m starting to think that maybe there’s more to you than meets the eye.”