A Beautiful Rock (16 page)

“Oh no. no, no, no, no. She’s going to
hate
me! What the fuck!” I yell at the television as I watch a press conference led by fucking Craig. If this is Karen’s idea then she’s on my shit list too. How could they do this?

They’re
offering a reward to anyone who can find Lisa. The prize is a round-the-world trip, touring with me and the band – all access. I seriously feel like my head is going to explode.

To prove how distraught I am, they’re showing the security footage of me losing my shit in the lift on the day she left
. They’re announcing that a website and hotline has been set up for anyone who has information on her.

“What is it Marcus?” my mother asks from behind me. She’s dropped over to bring me a casserole to make sure I eat something.

“My manager has just made sure that Lisa will
never
speak to me again,” I say, throwing the television remote with a thud against the leather of the couch.

Her mouth drops open as she sees
the hotline number and website scroll over the TV screen again. “Oh dear. This isn’t good.”

“I know.” I grab my phone and punch in Karen’s number st
raight away. I need her to put a stop to this.

But she doesn’t answer. After five times, she doesn’t answer. I think they’re using my own game against me.

***

Once every two weeks, I take a trip into the nearest town and pick up some food and supplies. It’s the only time I have access to the mobile phone network as my house isn’t close enough to a cell tower. So this is when I check my messages.

In the beginning, there were messages from everyone. My boss, Sandra, even Erin the receptionist called a few times. There would be interview requests and a few random people who managed to get a hold of my number
. There were even a few calls from my father and a couple from my mother – they weren’t really checking after my welfare, they were just calling because I guess they felt that had to…

Most of the calls
, as you’d probably guess, were and still are from Marcus. Each time, he asks me to call him back, he tells me that he’ll keep on ringing – he’s not going to give up.

Hearing his voice makes me smile, and I want to call him back, but I stand my ground.
He’s due to go on tour soon. He’ll calm down when he’s busy working and he’ll forget all about me. It’s hard to ignore him, but I still feel as though I’m doing the most logical thing for us. We simply can’t work.

My favourite messages are when he talks to me about new lyrics he’s written. He never sings them to me, but he
reads them out like poetry and sometimes shows me the music that will go with them.

When he leaves those messages, I save them, and
play them over and over again so I can feel close to him.

I was a selfish man

Doing
anything I wanted, a man trying to have fun

I wouldn't do any of it

I’d give it all up,

I’d give my wealth away

If I knew there was a chance

That I could make you stay

Now
, I know it pains you

To
think the one you love

Could possibly
hurt you

I wouldn't do any of it

I’d give it all up,

I’d give my wealth away

If I knew there was a chance

That I could make you
stay

baby, please

Can we put the crap
behind us

Can we go somewhere that no one’s gonna
find us

I know
you think I’ll leave

But
I’m begging you to believe

If only we could turn back time

Erase every nasty thing we’ve done,

Every fucked up crime

I wouldn't do any of it

I’d give it all up,

I’d give my wealth away

If I knew there was a chance

That I could make you stay

He says he wants to call that song ‘If Only’. It sounds beautiful when he reads it, so I wish he’d actually sing it to me.
Although, I guess I’m just going to have to wait for the single to release like everyone else in the world…

I think about Marcus’s songs as I stroll through the centre of the busy city park. There a
re people dotted about on the grass, reading books, having a cigarette break, or they’re exercising or walking a dog like I am.

I always take Perry with me
into town because it takes most of the day for me to drive here and get everything done. While I’m running errands, I book him into the dog groomers and when we’re done, I take him for a walk in the park to tire him out before we drive home.

I’ve had my
haircut in a short bob and I’m wearing sunglasses. The funny thing about being known by the media means that generally, if someone recognises you, they just look at you like they know you and shrug it off when they can’t place your face straight away, and I don’t stay anywhere or make conversation for long enough to give people time to figure it out.

I remember the day I went up to Katoomba with Marcus
, we sat out on the footpath of that café and no one paid us any mind because they weren’t expecting to see him there. As I found the last time I disappeared, you can hide in plain sight as long as you choose a place that isn’t frequented by those looking for you.

Perry does his usual sniff and pee thing, and I stand by and wait for him to be ready to move on. A woman comes running along the track with her long
blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail. I’ve seen her a few times before. She’s almost the spitting image of Sandra and I look away every time I spot her in the distance.

I feel terrible
that I never called Sandra to explain. I wanted to tell her everything, I wanted to explain. But in the end, I felt that cutting all ties would be best. Any link to my life as Lisa Russell or Leisil Marx would ultimately call everything back to me. I needed a clean break. New state, new life, new name… I go by Elizabeth Mackay now.

I’ve done everything different this time. I’ve kept to myself, I haven’t made friends, and I haven’t gone out into the work force. I have plenty of money anyway. You know who my father is
. So of course, I have a trust fund. It was released to me when I was twenty-one and I refused to touch the money unless I needed to. Now, it’s what I’m living off, and if I’m careful, it will last me a very long time.

The runner comes closer and I turn to glance at her as she passes
, but this time, her eyes meet mine and her head cocks a little to the side. She stops and pulls the buds of her headphones from her ears. Out of them, the familiar tune of Marcus’s song ‘He’ll never be me’ spill out.

“Oh my god. You’re her aren’t you?” she says.

I take a step back and shake my head, trying to stay calm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She smiles. “The whole country is looking for you. There’s a prize being award
ed to whoever finds you.”

I look around the park and notic
e more than a few people milling around, pulling their phones out and snapping shots of me, others just ignore me and go about their business.

“A p-prize?” I stutter.

Nodding her head, she beams then leans in next to me and quickly snaps a shot of the two of us together. “I think I just won it.”

She stands in front of me, tapping away at her phone
feverishly while I shake my head in disbelief. This is not happening. Not again. Not this soon.

Furious,
I grab her phone from her hand. “Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” she yells as I hurl her phone off to the distance then I turn around and tug on Perry’s lead, walking as fast as I can to the car. I don’t give a fuck about my groceries. I’m going to drive all night if I have to – someone needs a good slap in the face.

For two days, I haven’t been able to get in contact with either Craig or Karen, and no one else at the label seems to be getting any of my messages to them. I’m becoming increasingly irate and frustrated
, as I just know that the moment Lisa is found, she’s going to blame me for this.

“Marcus, you need to calm down. You’re going to end up having a stroke if you keep freaking out like this,” Naomi says to me from where she’s sitting on the couch watching me pace.

Theo stands not far from me, also watching with his hands on his hips. He has plenty of experience dealing with the media, so he’s been trying to figure out a way for me to stop this. “I think you should call your own press conference.”

“I can’t. Anything the label hasn’t sanctioned violates my contract,” I reply.

“Do you care though? I mean, you’re in this position because you’re refusing to honour it and go on tour right?”

“I don’t want to go on tour and I was refusing to be part
of the planning of it. I probably would have gone and just been a dick the whole time to piss Craig off.”

Naomi
lets out a sigh, and adjusts herself on the couch before speaking. “Surely there’s something that says that they can’t violate your personal life. Because what they’re doing right now can’t be legal…can it?” she asks, looking from me to Theo.

“I have no idea,” I say, pausing my pacing and just placing my hands on my hips and shaking my head.

“Well, that’s maybe one way we could get them to back off you. I’m going to make a few calls and see what we can come up with. See, this is what’s shit about big labels. They act like they own you,” Theo says, shaking his head in aggravation as he heads for the front door with Naomi following.

I walk them out. “Thanks guys,” I say, giving them both a hug
before opening the door to let them out.

Theo steps forward and hits the button on the lift. He’s about to say something else to me but he pauses. “Is that a dog barking?” he asks as he tilts his head to listen.
“It sounds like it’s coming from the elevator shaft.”

All three of us listen at the door
s. “See? There it is again,” Theo comments.  “It’s not a little dog either. Who the hell brings a big dog into an apartment building?”

As if in answer to his question, the lift door
s ping and open, revealing a very pissed off looking Lisa with Perry by her side. “Lisa,” I breathe, so happy to see her that I don’t even notice her hand swing back and then slap across my face.

“You arsehole!” she screams, just as Perry breaks free from her grasp and
jumps at me with such force that it sends me toppling on to the floor, landing with a thud on my backside.

Perry stands over me, his tongue lapping at my face in excited doggy kisses as his
tail flicks from side to side ecstatically. Despite being slapped in the face, I think I feel as happy as this dog is. I can’t help it. I start laughing.

Lisa stands beside me with a look
of fury upon her face and her hands on her hips. “Explain yourself Marcus,” she demands.

Still laughing, I reach out and grab her arm, pulling her down on
to my lap.

“Fuck I’ve missed you,” I say before clamping my mouth down on hers. At first, she tries to fight me
but after a couple of beats, she gives in, sliding her arms around my neck and threading her fingers into my hair.

Not willing to be ignored, Perry decides
he should be in on the action too and starts to attack our faces with his tongue and his dog breath. We pull apart, laughing before locking eyes and just letting our souls reconnect.

Theo clears his throat. “Well…I
’m sure you two have a lot to talk about. We’ll just get going.”

“I’m glad you came back,” Naomi smiles, lightly touch
ing Lisa on the shoulder as she and Theo disappear into the lift.

My focus stays on Lisa where she still sits on
my lap. Perry has decided to lie on the floor beside us after he realised that we aren’t getting up to play with him.

“I promise you, it wasn’t me,” I whisper, cupping her face in my hands
while looking her directly in the eye. I want her to see the truth in my expression.

Closing her eyes, her breath catches with emotion as her hands reach up to
grip my wrists.

“Then who?” she asks.

“My manager, Craig, and my PA, Karen. Neither of them are taking my calls at the moment though,” I answer.

“But why? Why would they do that?”

I run my fingers down the length of her dark hair. She’s cut it much shorter than it was and it frames her face perfectly. She seems even more beautiful now than she did before.

“Because I was refusing to
work,” I explain.

“But why?” she asks again.

I drop my hands to my sides and lean back before blowing out my breath slowly. I can’t seem to meet her eyes and shake my head before raking my hand over my face.

“Is it because of…of me?” she asks slowly.

My eyes meet hers and that’s all she needs to see the truth.

“It is? Oh wow,” she says, pulling her head back in surprise. She stands up and
runs her hands through her hair.

Standing up with her, I nudge my head toward the still open door of my apartment. “Come inside. We
can talk in there.”

Perry jumps up and immediately goes inside as if I was talking to him
, but Lisa lets out a sigh and nods walking ahead of me. As soon as she hears the click of the door she turns to me with tears in her eyes, shaking her head slightly as she bites at her lip.

“I’m so sorry Marcus. This isn
’t what I wanted,” she cries, holding her hands out and waving them about to indicate me. “Look at you. You’re a wreck. A beautiful wreck, but a wreck none the less.”

Reaching up, I scratch my head. “You should have seen me before I shave
d a couple of days ago,” I respond with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“
This isn’t funny Marcus. You’re messing up your career and it’s because of me. Part of why I left was so you wouldn’t need to do that.”

“I didn’t want you to go. I didn’t care what anyone else thought. I only wanted you. I still want you.”

“People were outside your apartment picketing against us, Marcus. You’re young, you’re talented and as long as people like me don’t fuck things up for you, you could have a career that spans decades. I couldn’t let you give that up for me. We wouldn’t last. And besides, the moment you went on tour and all those women were in your face again… I don’t know… who’s to say this isn’t just a passing fancy?”

It takes two strides to close the distance between us and take her in my arms and kiss her with everything I have in me.
As I move my mouth against hers, I allow all of my emotions, all of my fear, all of my desire – to pour into her.

When we come up for air, we’re both shaking and breathless. “Does that feel like a passing fancy to you?” I murmur, my voice husky
with my need for her.

“
You’re going to ruin me, Marcus,” she whispers, her eyes swimming with tears as she looks up at me.

“The only way either of us gets ruined is if we stay apart
.” My voice is strained with emotion and I’m struggling to keep it together as I drop my forehead against hers and slide my fingers into her hair, cupping her with my hand as I caress the smooth skin on her cheek with my thumb.

“Oh god, I missed you so much,” she whispers, moving her head so her mouth
touches mine. She pulls back, hesitating as if she isn’t sure about what she wants to do before changing her mind and moving closer again. Using my hand, I hold her steady, inhaling deeply to breathe her in, holding her mouth in mine as her arms move up to wrap around my torso.

She presses herself against me, letting out those
little whimpers I love so much as her tongue slides against mine. I move my hands down to cup her arse and pull her against me, pressing my erection into her hip. When she pulls her arms tighter around me, I step backwards until I’m sitting on the couch and she’s climbed onto my lap, her legs straddling me as she reaches down and pulls up my shirt.

I do the same with hers and we both drop them on the couch beside us
before connecting our mouths again, touching and caressing. She rolls her hips against me, causing me to groan into her mouth.

“I want to feel you inside me,” she whispers
, letting out a gentle moan as she presses her core against mine. “Just you. As long as you’re safe - I’m on the pill.”

I think my cock just got even harder. I have
never
gone bareback with a woman before. “I’m safe,” I reply with an involuntary grunt as she grinds against me.

“Good,” she whispers, kissing me gently before standing up removing her jeans and panties in one go
.

As before
, I remove mine as well, taking a hold of her hips as she climbs back on top of me and guiding her on top of my throbbing cock. Her hands wrap around my wrists and while locking eyes with me, she gasps as she takes me inside her warm wet depths.

Her eyes get that glassy look of someone in pure ecstasy, but she keeps her eyes on mine as she glides up and down my shaft. The sensation of her silk-like fluids against the naked flesh of my cock
is enough to almost push me over the edge too early. I bite my lip, forcing myself to hold on until she’s ready.

Reaching between us, I use my fingers to tease her clit, her gaze almost falters as her mouth drops open and she lets out this long and low moan. I can feel the walls of her insides, pulsing around my cock as she
comes, grinding us together at my base.

A flush of
pink creeps over her skin, colouring her cheeks and her lips while also brightening her eyes as she continues her movement up and down my shaft.

Gripping her hips again, I push into her as deep as I can, spilling myself inside her in the most beautiful release I think I’ve had in my life.

She leans forward and drops her head on my shoulder as I wrap my arms around her and hug her to me protectively.

“Did you mean
it?” she whispers into my neck.

“Mean what?”

She lifts her head and meets my gaze. “That day. Did you mean what you said to Jonathan about lo…” Her eyes close as she struggles to say the word.

“About you being the woman I love?” She presses her lips together and nods, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. I reach up and wipe them away, then hold her face steady so she can’t look away. “Yes. I meant it. And I still do. I love you Lisa. I love you more than I love myself… and that’s saying something,” I say with a smile
. It makes her laugh through her tears. “Why does it upset you so much?”

She shakes her head. “I
didn’t believe you,” she whispers. “I’m sorry. I convinced myself that you only wanted me because you couldn’t have me. I didn’t think it was real for you.”

“It was always real for me. The question is, was it ever real for you?”

“From the moment I met you, Marcus. I just… I’m sorry I hurt you.”

I pull her toward me and kiss her
deeply; her tears flow freely from her eyes as she releases that last bit of restraint she seemed to be holding onto.

“Can I start something with you Lisa? For good this time? No fear, no doubt, no running. Just me, you… and Perry.”

She nods, as a new set of tears flows from her eyes. “Yes.”

I wrap my arms around her again and hug
her to my chest, just letting her get it out of her system. “I know this is scary Leis, but I promise you, I’ll stay true to you. You’re the only one I care about.”

She sits back and wipes at her tears. “Take me to bed, Marcus. Let’s shut out the world like we should have the first time.”

I grin, more than willing to agree to her request – I’ve become quite good at shutting the world out this past few months and there’s no one else I’d rather be with than Lisa.

Standing up, I carry her around my waist and lay us both on the bed together. “I love you, Lisa,” I whisper, leaning down to plant soft kisses along her
collarbone.

“I love you too, Marcus. So much,” she whispers in reply.

My heart soars; filling that hole I’ve been carrying around in my chest. Thank god – she said it too.