A Brief Moment in TIme (6 page)

Chapter 6

KATHRYN PACED back and forth nervously as her colleague sat drumming her nails on the desktop.

“Don’t worry,” Adele tried to encourage her friend. “We’ll get the approval. They’ve pretty much assured us we’ll get it this time.”

“I know; I can feel it,” Kathryn replied. “It’s just that we’ve been here so many times before.”

The phone finally rang, and the two women looked at each other spellbound. “This is it.” Kathryn tried to allay her jitters as she picked up the receiver.

“Thank you,” she responded, feeling a rush of excitement as she heard the words she’d been waiting so long for. “Thank you, sir!”

“We got it!” Adele stood to her feet triumphantly. “Any restrictions?”

“No, they’ve agreed to the full three-year funding and immediate go-ahead.”

“Which prison?”

“Swenton. They’ve already been approached and are willing to cooperate fully. We can start next week.”

Kathryn sat down at her desk to let the news settle. For two years they had been pushing to get the green light for their prison rehabilitation program, not to mention all the years it took to develop, the criticism she and her co-workers had endured, and the tireless hours she’d spent writing and rewriting the proposal, only to have it shot down repeatedly.

She knew the struggle and hard work wasn’t over; in truth it had just begun. The board wanted to see positive results early if the funding was to continue. She knew the critics would be watching closely, too. But she didn’t want to dwell on that now. She wanted to savor the victory.

Adele had already informed the rest of the staff, and rounds of cheering had ensued. She re-entered Kathryn’s office holding up a bottle of champagne. “This baby’s been waiting a long time; do you want to do the honors?”

“I’d love to!”

GAVIN FELT WEAK as he walked to the dining hall. Four days in the infirmary had taken a toll, and he was eager to get his strength back.

It had been four days free of panic attacks and nightmares, and he was grateful for the reprieve. He couldn’t wait to see Kate again and talk to her about what had happened, especially now that they’d discussed the reason for his fear. But he was a little anxious, given her quick disappearance. He couldn’t help but wonder if she suspected that he had feelings for her.

He filled his tray and joined the other men at his usual table. Stubby welcomed him with a friendly slap on the back, and others made uncharacteristically polite remarks about his recovery. Their behavior surprised him. He had expected to be the subject of their jokes after rumors inevitably spread that he’d had a panic attack.

He was curious to know what their response had been to the news of Ryan’s suicide. No doubt they were happy to hear it, but Gavin found himself distressed as he glanced at the table Ryan had once occupied. He wasn’t heartless. He’d come to know the kid, worked with him, talked with him. Despite Ryan’s strange manner, he’d gotten to Gavin somehow, and it seemed tragic and utterly pointless that his life was over.

He wasn’t in the mood to hear the guys joke about it so decided not to bring it up. As he listened, however, all he heard was the usual gossip, dirty jokes, and speculation about which movie would be showing on the weekend. It seemed as if life was back to normal.

Unfortunately, normal was far from what Gavin was feeling. He didn’t even know what the word meant anymore.

“GOD WHERE DID YOU get that dress?” Adele gasped as Kathryn walked into the adjoining hotel room. “A paper bag would have been more flattering.”

“Flattering is not the look we’re going for,” Kathryn retorted, noticing her colleague’s black dress pants and sensible blouse, wishing she’d chosen something similar. “Most of those men haven’t seen women in a long time. We don’t want to send the wrong message.”

“Sorry,” Adele laughed. “But I’ve never seen you look this frumpy. You’re not wearing makeup, and your hair—I hope it’s not going to cut off the circulation to your head, with it pulled back so tight.”

“Are you finished?”

Adele nodded, still smiling.

Kathryn had just spent the last half-hour stressing over what to wear, and now it was too late to change. Besides, her primary goal that morning was to be heard. She didn’t want the men looking at her as anything other than a professional. She had a program to offer that could change their lives, and she wanted to be taken seriously, wanted to make a difference. As she thought about the morning ahead, she subconsciously twisted her rings.

“Kathryn…your wedding rings?” Adele looked at her questioningly.

Kathryn had reluctantly stopped wearing her wedding rings several months earlier. It had been almost four years since her husband passed away, and her friends and family wanted her to move on. In their opinion she’d grieved long enough and at forty-two was still an eligible woman. But dating was the furthest thing from Kathryn’s mind. She’d poured herself into her work, and now all that hard work was finally paying off.

“It sends a message,” she said simply.

“Yes,” Adele replied. “It does.”

Kathryn heard the tone in Adele’s voice. She knew she was being judged again for her choice to refrain from taking part in the dating game. But for Kathryn, the choice had been easy to make. She’d loved and been loved in return by a wonderful man for nearly twenty years. A love that deep and that special, though it had ended abruptly, was something to be treasured and remembered.

A relationship with someone new would defile the memories she held dear. It would obscure them, maybe even cause them to fade away altogether. The very thought scared Kathryn, because time itself was starting to do those things despite her efforts to keep it from happening.

“Well, let’s get this show on the road,” she said abruptly, wanting to put a stop to thoughts and feelings that had come crashing in unbidden and unwelcome. “We’re meeting with the warden for a short conference and then addressing the men in an assembly format,” she added, knowing that Adele was as aware of the details of this important first morning as she was. “I’d like to get a look at the facility while we’re there, too.” They were joined then by the two men that would be completing their team for the project, and the four of them left for the prison.

Kathryn’s excitement was coupled with nervousness. She was confident as a public speaker, but this was new territory for her. Her audience was typically made up of peers in the mental health profession or graduate students wanting to expand their knowledge, not men being held against their will—forced, or as the warden had put it, “strongly encouraged” to participate in the program. It gave a whole new meaning to the term
captive
audience
. Nevertheless, she was ready. She’d been preparing for this moment for a long time. She not only knew the material backward and forward, she believed in it wholeheartedly. She truly believed that she would see lives changed for the better.

GAVIN HALF LISTENED as announcements were made after breakfast. But when the warden began talking about a rehabilitation program being initiated at Swenton, he had Gavin’s full attention. Frowning, he looked around to see what the men’s response was. All he saw was the usual look of disinterest in their faces as the warden talked about incentives and told the men that the program was to begin that morning with a lecture in the prison auditorium.

“What the hell?” Gavin said just loud enough for Stubby to overhear.

“Yeah,” Stubby whispered back. “I don’t know what they think they’re gonna accomplish with that. It’s just another waste of Joe Taxpayer’s money.”

“But we already have a rehab program.”

“Since when?”

Gavin glanced over to see if Stubby was playing him, but his look was dead serious.

“The rehab program,” Gavin repeated. “It’s been running for weeks already.”

“Shit, Gavin,” Stubby frowned. “You’ve been in the infirmary for nearly three weeks. You must have been hallucinating or something; Bruno said you were in pretty rough shape.”

“Three weeks?” Gavin shook his head. “I don’t remember…”

The men were beginning to file out of the dining hall, and Stubby stood up to leave. Gavin followed numbly. What he was hearing made no sense; he was more confused than ever.

“You got that weird virus,” Stubby explained. “They didn’t tell you anything?”

Gavin shook his head.

“About half a dozen others did, too. They quarantined the whole place. Yesterday was the first day we could have visitors. Word is several people in the city died from it—mostly old people, though.”

“I had a virus?”

“They’re calling it some fancy name, but it’s a virus, and apparently it spreads as easy as the common cold. Had the whole city in a panic for a while.”

“And we don’t already have a rehab program?”

Stubby frowned at him again, and Gavin started to think he’d better keep his inquiries to himself. There was just one more thing he needed to know. “The new kid…Ryan. Did he really do himself in?”

“Who?” Stubby shook his head. “I think you need to recuperate a few more days, buddy. We don’t want rumors spreading. Keep this up,” he laughed, “and the only day pass you’ll be eligible for is to the psych ward at Dellberg.”

While Kathryn and her associates waited in the wings, she listened to the men assemble. Talking and laughter filled the auditorium, chairs were being moved, and guards barked out commands. Once the men settled down, the warden nodded for her to begin. They had decided to forgo an introduction; she simply walked to the center of the platform where a small podium stood.

She’d been warned about the response she was likely to receive but was still surprised when the men responded with cheers, whistles, and even catcalls. It took a few moments before the guards got them settled down. As she waited for silence, Kathryn looked over the group in front of her. The men differed in age, size, race, and most undoubtedly, belief systems. The one common denominator was that they were all serving time for committing a very serious crime, and that time was nearing an end.

One man in particular caught her attention. He was a large man, well built and handsome. The look he gave her was unmistakably different from ones the other men were directing at her. His expression was one of surprise and confusion, as if he knew her. As their eyes met and held for a moment, she wondered what his story was.

She anticipated learning about the men before meeting with them in the group and individual sessions. The warden had a package made up, a profile on each of the men for her and her associates to look over and keep in their files. It would assist greatly in tailoring the program to the individual needs of the men they would soon be working with.

Kathryn began by introducing herself and describing the program in general terms. The men were not taking her seriously, so she decided to get to the heart of her message, which was the essence of the teaching and what it would do for them. Having gained the men’s attention, she made the most of it. She gave them a glimpse of the potentially life-changing program, and the processes and tools they could use to make their transition back into society. She assured them that the valuable teaching would help them in every area of their lives, both now and in the future.

As she spoke, she occasionally glanced at the man who had been and was still looking at her oddly. At one point, she saw him shake his head in what she could only describe as dismay. It was subtle; the others around him probably wouldn’t notice. But her training caused her to pick up on behavior that was out of the ordinary, and his definitely stood out to her.

Kathryn ended her speech by describing how the program would be set up. She then introduced her colleagues. With that, she thanked the men for their willing participation and left them with the promise that they would not regret it.

The warden stepped forward to dismiss the men, and Kathryn watched as they filed out of the room. The man that had intrigued her was the last to get up from his chair, and as he left the room he turned to look directly at her. His face was clearly imprinted in her mind, and she was eager to go back to her hotel room and look through his profile.

In the meantime, she was elated to have made her presentation and to have seen the men and the facility first hand. It was all beginning to sink in. Her program, which for so long had been just an idea, a theory, was now unfolding into an undeniable reality. Kathryn couldn’t have been more excited.

Chapter 7

GAVIN WONDERED if he wasn’t still in some sort of delusional state. The events of the past few weeks were unclear. He honestly couldn’t remember what was real and what he had dreamed. He seriously considered reporting back to the infirmary to let them know he was hallucinating.

The most bizarre thing was that he had now sat through Kate’s presentation—the same identical speech—twice. In fact, as he looked back on the first time he’d heard it, he realized that everything about that day mirrored the current one. She and her associates were wearing the same clothes, the men around him had uttered the same rude comments, and the guards had responded in the same way. Now, as they walked to the industry area, he heard Stubby make the same comment about rehabilitation that he’d made weeks earlier.