A Daughter's Dream (5 page)

“I'm glad I can help you, Lukas. I like feeling needed, and I like having a connection to our family's business. I don't ever want to give up being here completely, but I don't think that
working behind this desk is the future that the Lord intends for me.”

“I can understand you wanting to follow the Lord's will. But, not to be mean . . . are you sure He wants you to be a teacher?”

She smiled at him so he would know that she wasn't offended. “I don't know if He wants me to be a teacher or not. Right now, I know I'm not too great at it. However, I do know that I like being around the kids. I like helping them. Right now I like helping Rachel. And even though I'm not trained to be a teacher and I'm making lots of mistakes, I like it, Lukas. I truly do.”

Understanding filled his expression. “Liking a job counts for a lot, I think.”

“
Jah
. I think so, too. The hours I've spent at school helping her have made me feel energized, not exhausted. I go home smiling instead of irritated.”

He nodded. “I'll go talk to Mercy now. If she's agreeable to the new job, I'll send her up here. How about you train her for the rest of the week, then move to part time?”

“You would let me do that?” Although she was admittedly ready for a change, she'd never expected it would happen so quickly.

“I want you happy, Becky. Your happiness means a lot to me.”

“I want you happy, too. I don't want to give you more stress than you're already feeling.”

“I'll be happy if I know that you're happy. And I can't deny that I'm looking forward to watching Mercy run roughshod over some of our more bossy employees.”

She laughed. “I'm almost going to feel sorry for them. Almost.”

“Just remember that if you change your mind, you can always go back to full time.”

“
Danke
, Luke.”

Looking completely sincere, he added, “But more importantly, you will always mean the world to me. No matter what happens with work or Darla or whomever you end up with. We'll always have each other.”

“
Jah
. That's what's most important, Luke. Family is always most important.”

“Some days, it's all we have.”

Those words couldn't have been more true.

Tuesday, August 18

T
he algebraic equation was giving Lilly fits. No matter how many times she went over it, she couldn't figure out what to do with the missing variable. Eyeing the equation she'd copied down from the textbook she'd found at the library, she realized she was going to need to erase the figures she'd written and work through the whole thing again. One way or another, she was going to figure this out. She had to, so she could get to the harder problems she'd discovered in the back of the book.

After making sure that Mrs. Mast was still occupied with a group of little kids at the front of the classroom, Lilly pulled out her eraser and got to work.

“What are you doing?” Katie asked.

“Nothing.”

Ignoring her comment, her new friend leaned closer and peered at Lilly's paper. “That ain't our homework.”

“I know.” She covered it up with her palm. “It's nothing. I was just playing around.”

Katie wrinkled her nose. “With a bunch of numbers and letters? You sure have a strange idea of fun.”

Embarrassed that she was doing algebra for fun, Lilly tried to laugh off her friend's statement. “I know. I was just bored. Like I said, it wasn't anything. What's going on with you?”

Katie blushed. “Nothing.”

Lilly noticed that Katie didn't have her homework out on her desk. “You better get your papers out. When Mrs. Mast gets done meeting with the little kids, she's going to come this way and start collecting our work.”

“I don't have it done.”

“Why not?”

“My
daed
put up a tire swing last night over our pond. Me and my brothers swung on it all evening. I was planning to do it after I got in bed but I fell asleep.”

Lilly had never not done her homework. However, she knew better than to say anything about that. Katie was like a lot of girls their age. When they got to be thirteen, they started caring less about school and more about what they'd be doing when they graduated.

Because of that, Lilly concentrated on Katie's story. “Why did your
daed
put the swing over the pond?”

“So we could swing over the water and jump in, of course.” Her eyes glowed. “It's so fun.”

“I bet.” It took some effort, but Lilly did her best to sound interested and not jealous. Katie had no idea how blessed she was to have parents and siblings. She only had grandparents and an uncle who couldn't farm worth beans.

Of course, the moment that thought ran through her head, she felt guilty. From the moment she'd arrived in Charm, her grandparents and uncle had bent over backward to make her feel at home. They'd held her when she'd cried and talked about her
mamm
and
daed
for hours whenever she wanted. They'd also allowed her to have the space she needed to adjust.

Katie was all smiles now. “Have you ever done that?”

“Hmm?”

“Swung into the water. Have you done it?”

“Nee.”
It sounded scary.

“You should come over one day and go swimming.” Looking concerned, she said, “You can swim, right?”

“I can swim.” Not very well, but she could float. And she could hold her breath under the water. She had a feeling that wasn't near good enough to jump from a swing into deep water, however.

Katie looked relieved. “I'm only teasing ya. My parents said you came from Florida. I bet everyone practically grows up in the water there.”

“All of Florida isn't next to water, you know.”

“I know that. But—”

“And that was my uncle who came from Florida. I'm from Berlin.”

“Oh,
jah
. Because your parents died.”

Unable to respond to that, Lilly nodded and stared back at her paper.

Peter Schlabach, who so far hadn't said all that much to her, scowled at Katie. “Wow, Kate. You sure know how to pick the wrong thing to say.”

After peeking to make sure Mrs. Mast still wasn't nearby,
Katie glared at Peter. “Shut up, Peter.” Then, before he could volley an angry retort, she turned back to Lilly. “I'm sorry I said anything. I shouldn't have brought up your parents.”

While Peter muttered something sarcastic under his breath, Lilly simply nodded. She knew her friend hadn't intended to be mean. She was simply a blunt girl. It wasn't her fault that Lilly felt embarrassed. She hated being different.

After fishing around in her desk, Katie stood up with a sigh. Then she walked to the back of the room to sharpen her pencil.

Lilly was just about to open up that textbook again when Peter slipped into Katie's empty seat.

“Don't pay her any mind,” he said quietly.

“It's okay. It's not her fault that I'm so sensitive.”

“Sure it is.” When she gaped at him, he smirked. “Believe me, Katie always says the wrong thing. She's been that way her whole life. I tell you what, she's really good at it, too.”

Even though she knew she shouldn't, Lilly smiled. “
Danke
for that.”

“You live off of Route 557, right?”

“
Jah
. At my grandparents' farm.”

“I live real close to you.” Staring at her intently, he lowered his voice. “Want to walk home together?”

Just as his question sunk in, Lilly noticed Katie returning to her seat and Mrs. Mast eyeing her and Peter curiously.

Lilly wasn't sure why she did it, maybe she was simply trying to get him to move, but she nodded. It surely didn't have anything to do with the fact that his brown eyes were framed by thick black eyelashes or that she felt like he didn't notice anyone else in the world when he stared at her.

He grinned as he walked back to his seat.

When Katie took her chair back, she whispered, “What did Peter want?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure?”

“Jah.”

“Hey, want to help me do my homework?”

By now, Lilly knew “help” meant “do.” Darting a wary glance at the teacher, she murmured, “I better not. I don't want to get in trouble.”

Since Katie didn't look pleased, Lilly stared at the equation in front of her again. At the moment, that math problem looked a whole lot easier to solve than trying to figure out what she thought about Peter asking to walk her home.

Deciding at last to isolate the variable and then multiply, she pulled out her sharpest pencil and got to work.

Around her, kids talked and laughed. They shuffled their papers and complained about homework.

She concentrated on X and Y. Not Peter's offer. Not Katie's questions. Not the fact that she didn't have a
daed
to make tire swings.

“Lilly, what are you working on?” Mrs. Mast asked by her side.

Drat! She hadn't even realized their teacher had gotten so close. “Nothing.” Too slowly, she covered the equation.

Mrs. Mast pulled the paper off her desk and studied it. After a few seconds, she blinked, then frowned at it. “Where did you see this?”

“In a textbook.”

“Where? We don't have anything like that here.”

Fearing she was drawing attention, Lilly lowered her voice. “The library.”

After studying the paper again, Mrs. Mast crouched down by her side. “Do you understand this?”

“Kind of.”

“Do you know what kind of math you're doing?”

Lilly noticed that her teacher wasn't frowning. Instead, she was smiling in an encouraging way. It made her feel brave. “Algebra?”

“
Jah
, you are,” Mrs. Mast said softly. “Did you, um, study algebra at your old school?”

Feeling more than a couple of the other students' attention on her, Lilly shook her head. “
Nee
. I was just interested in it. So I decided to try teaching myself.”

“I see.”

Lilly pulled out her spiral notebook for math. Flipping it open, she showed it to her teacher. “I did last night's homework. I promise.”

Mrs. Mast took the notebook out of her hands. After she scanned it, she set it back down on Lilly's desk. “How long did it take you to do yesterday's math assignment?”

Still feeling like everyone was listening, she shrugged. “I don't know.”

“Please be honest with me. You're not in trouble.”

“It didn't take me long,” she hedged.

“About how long?” Mrs. Mast pressed.

“Ten minutes, maybe?”

“Ten minutes!” Katie exclaimed, her voice high and incredulous. “It would have taken me at least an hour.”

Mrs. Mast turned to Katie and frowned. “Would have?”

“I never got it done,” Katie admitted.

“It took me longer than that,” Peter said. “Hey, Lilly, how come you got done so fast?”

“I don't know,” Lilly said, feeling worse than miserable. “I'm
gut
at math.”

Mrs. Mast bent down. “We'll talk about this later, okay?”

“Jah.”

Her teacher squeezed her shoulder before walking over toward a group of girls hunched over some flashcards on the floor.

Once their teacher was out of earshot, Katie leaned close. “Are you showing off?”

“Nee.”

She frowned. “It sure seemed like it.”

“She's not, Katie,” Peter interjected. “She's just smart.”

“But still—”

“And there's nothing wrong with that,” Peter said. “At all,” he added a little bit more loudly. His tone was so sure and confident, it was like he was practically daring everyone in the room to argue with him. Then, to Lilly's surprise, he grinned. “Actually, now I know who to go to if I ever need help with math.”

Lilly didn't say anything, but inside, she was smiling. She wasn't sure what had just happened, but she was sure it was something big.

Peter Schlabach, who was so cute, so intimidating, and so . . . well, everything, had not only just asked to walk her home but had also told the whole class that he thought it was good that she was really smart.

Just when she'd been sure that things were going from bad to worse . . . they'd gotten pretty good.

Maybe even better than that.

Monday, August 24

R
ebecca was impressed. Although Lukas had a whole company to run, he made it a priority to help her. Soon
after their conversation, he had offered Mercy the job at the reception desk.

As Lukas had predicted, Mercy had jumped at the chance to stop serving customers in the retail shop and start bossing workers around. After one day together, Rebecca knew that Mercy and her new position were a match made in heaven. She was efficient, she was spunky, and she was cute. She could also trade barbs and stories with the workers.

After a few days, the men actually started congregating around the reception area for reasons besides work. Mercy was bright and full of energy and made everyone laugh. In fact, rumor had it that the girl was fitting into all the responsibilities of the receptionist desk with the ease of a man slipping on an old, comfortable shoe. Though Mercy would no doubt find
exception with the analogy, Rebecca couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. It was becoming apparent—to Rebecca, at least—that completely switching occupations was actually easy for some people.

For three days now, she'd been helping out Rachel in her classroom.
Helping
, unfortunately, had been the operative word. Rebecca couldn't seem to juggle all of the students' needs with ease. Just when she was pleased with herself for doing one thing—like memorizing everyone's name—she would mess up in another area.

Yesterday's fiasco had been reading the wrong answers to a science quiz out loud to the older kids. They'd all acted extremely put out with her for not only unnecessarily marking up their papers with red ink, but wasting their time.

Rebecca couldn't blame them. She'd been a good student, regularly earning A's. She had taken her studies and grades seriously, too. If some wayward volunteer had messed up the answer key, she would have made her displeasure known.

While Rachel had seemed pleased to have another pair of helping hands, especially with the little ones, Rebecca was feeling more overwhelmed with each passing hour. The longer she was in the classroom, the more she was coming to understand that she had a lot to learn.

Today had gone better, however. While Rachel worked with the youngest students on their writing, Rebecca had met with the five eldest ones for math. All of her experience in the mill was coming in handy as she showed the girls and boys how to convert metric measurements to inches.

It seemed her experience at the lumber mill made up for some of her inadequacies as a teacher. All of the teenagers enjoyed
hearing about what happened at the mill, no doubt because many of their fathers worked there. Rebecca was pleased she could share a number of humorous stories about truckers, shipments, train cargo that arrived, and the Englisher customers who came in from time to time.

Darla's little brothers, Samuel and Evan, also helped by asking her for stories that they knew everyone would like to hear. Plus, they glared at students who looked ready to give their sister-in-law a hard time. Though their support wasn't exactly necessary, Rebecca couldn't help but share her thanks. The past year had taught her never to take kindness for granted.

The only person in her group who didn't look all that excited about her math lesson was Lilly Yoder. Though she wasn't rude or disrespectful, she seemed particularly quiet. Rebecca also caught her scribbling in a worn spiral notebook. Time and again, Lilly would quietly take the worksheet or book assignment Rebecca had given, work on it for a while, and then put it aside and scribble in her notebook again.

To make matters worse, the other girls suddenly seemed not to like Lilly very much. Katie, in particular, went out of her way to ignore her. It looked as if Lilly was being treated the same way as Rebecca—barely tolerated.

The situation bothered Rebecca enough to approach Rachel about it at the end of the day. Unfortunately, Rachel had plans after school and was eager to lock up and go home.

Because of that—and because she couldn't help but continually go over every moment in the classroom and try to figure out how things could have gone better—Rebecca was walking fairly quickly down the narrow path that led from the school yard to the main streets of Charm.

That's when she noticed that Lilly was walking home by herself. She was walking slowly, seeming to be in no hurry. Rebecca felt so sorry for her. She'd recently learned that Lilly's parents had been killed in an accident and that Jacob was actually her uncle. And to make things even harder, she was now the new girl at school.

Rebecca decided to take a chance and walk by her side for a bit.

“Hey, Lilly,” she called out when she caught up to her. “Do you mind if I walk with you for a few minutes?”

Lilly blinked at her in surprise, as if she had been lost in thought. “Of course not.”

“
Danke
. I'm heading to the mill,” Rebecca explained. “Are you heading home now?”

She shook her head.
“Nee.”

“Oh? Where are you off to?”

“The market. I told my
dawdi
that I'd pick him up some apples on my way home from school.”

“That's nice of you. I guess it is apple season. My sister Amelia makes the best pies. She's baked a pie for us two Sundays in a row.”

“That's nice.”

“Are you going to bake a pie?”

“
Nee
. I think my grandmother is.” She smiled politely, then stared straight ahead. It was fairly obvious that Lilly wasn't all that excited to be speaking with Rebecca.

But still she persevered. “So, how are things going? Are you settling into school now? Do you like Charm? Are you studying different things than what you were used to in Berlin?”

“Charm is okay. Everything is fine.” She looked at Rebecca warily. “Did Mrs. Mast ask you to talk to me about school? Did I do something wrong?”

“Not at all. I, well, I thought maybe we could chat.”

“About what?”

“Nothing in particular.” When Lilly raised her eyebrows and looked like she was about to walk away, Rebecca blurted, “I was just kind of worried about you.”

“You don't need to be.”

“I noticed that you weren't talking to Katie or the other girls very much.”

“Oh.” Lilly rolled her eyes. “Katie's not happy with me.”

“Why?”

“Peter's walked me home a couple of times. I think she wishes he was walking with her instead of me.”

Rebecca felt like slapping a palm against her own forehead. Here she'd been so worried about the girl, grieving for her parents and struggling to fit in, when she was simply caught up in normal teenage drama. Leave it to Rebecca to put one and one together and come up with three.

Looking for something to say, Rebecca said, “I only know Peter a little bit from work. Is he nice?”

“I think so. He's been nice to me.” She paused, then said, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Rebecca was a little uncomfortable turning the conversation to herself, but she knew she shouldn't have been surprised that things had moved in that direction. If she was going to ask Lilly personal questions, it stood to reason that the girl would want to ask the same things about her. “
Nee
,” she said at last. “I mean, not at the moment.”

“But you have had one before?”

Rebecca had to think about that. Oh, she'd had crushes on different boys from time to time, but was never serious about any of them. “You know what, I haven't.”

Lilly looked at her. “Why not?” Her voice wasn't sharp. Instead it was curious.

And it made Rebecca reflect on things, too. “I'm not really sure,” she said with a shrug. “I don't think I really have a reason. I just always felt that it wasn't the right time.”

“Oh.” Lilly frowned and stared straight ahead again.

There she'd gone again. Messing something up that she should have taken more care with. The last thing she'd wanted to do was embarrass the girl.

Maybe it was time to switch topics. “So, how is your uncle doing?”

“Onkle Jacob? He's fine, I guess. Better than me.”

“What's bothering you?”

“Other than the fact that both my parents died and I'm the new girl here? Not a thing.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive.”

The girl sighed. “You weren't. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that.”

“Would you like to talk about things? I'm a good listener.”

Pure frustration lit the girl's features. “Miss Kinsinger, I don't know why you decided to walk with me but I'm okay. I don't need a new teacher friend.”

Each word was harsh and laced with bitterness. But there was so much pain, too, that Rebecca realized she couldn't be upset by Lilly's rudeness. Instead, her heart went out to the girl. It was obvious that she was grieving.

“I'm sorry. I should've remembered your background. I spoke without thinking.”

Lilly, with her auburn hair and green eyes, stared at her in confusion. Then, to her surprise, she flushed as if she was em
barrassed. “Listen, I'm sorry I'm being mean. I just get tired of talking about myself.”

She flinched. “You don't need to apologize. I . . . well, I just wanted you to know I cared.” They were now on Main Street. In just a few minutes, Lilly would be at the store and Rebecca would be at the mill.

“Why? What difference does it make? No matter what you might think or feel, it won't change anything. No matter how sorry you are or how much I smile and try to get on, it won't bring them back. They're gone forever.”

“I know.” Taking a ragged breath, she forced herself to push through the pain. “Lilly, I'm sorry about your parents. I know how you must feel.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I do. Both of my parents are in Heaven, too.”

But instead of looking like she was glad to meet someone who had experienced the same loss, she simply looked at her blankly. “Did your parents die suddenly in a car accident?”

“Well,
nee
. My mother died years ago. But my
daed
—”

“Were you forced to move out of your house and leave all of your friends during your last year of school?” Lilly interrupted.

“
Nee
, but—”

“And are you an only child living with grandparents who are old and an uncle who knows less about kids than pretty much anyone?”

“Of course not.”

“Then you do not know how I'm feeling.”

“You're right. I am sorry for trying to be your friend.”

Lilly sighed impatiently. “Miss Kinsinger, like I said, I am
sorry I'm being so rude. I appreciate you being nice, too. But the fact of the matter is that I would really rather not talk—”

“That's enough, Lilly,” a deep voice called out.

Startled, both Lilly and Rebecca turned around to discover that Jacob, Lilly's uncle, was approaching.

The teenager groaned. “Great. Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse . . . it did.”

Rebecca was pretty sure she couldn't agree more.