A Family Man (28 page)

“
M.” Suddenly she was in his arms. “Oh shit, baby girl.” He gently led her to the sofa and sat her down. “You gonna explain why Amy would be freaking out enough to want me here?”

“
I guess it’s because I don’t want to go into the hospital.”

“
Why?”

“
Because I’ve had enough.”

“
Not your call, M.” He turned to where Amy was leaning against the door watching their exchange. “Go call the hospital, sugar. Tell them your mom is on her way.”

“
No.” Amy walked over and sat on the other side of him. “If mom wants to stay here then she should.”

“
If you don’t want her to go into the hospital, why did you call me?”

“
Because she doesn’t want to have to deal with me dying on her own, you dolt.” Maria, shifted and gasped as the pain shot across her abdomen. She held up her hand at the expression on Joe’s face. “I’m okay.”

“
Sure you are.” He touched her face and closing her eyes she leaned into his touch. “Please go to the hospital, M.”

“
I can’t Joe.” She opened her eyes. “If I’m going to die, I want to do it in my own home.”

“
Shit, you sound like my fucking mother.” Joe he ran his hand over his head. “You really think me an’ Amy are gonna sit here an’ watch you die? You either get your ass to the hospital or I’m outta here an’ I’m taking Amy with me.”

“
That’s not fair Joe.”

“
Don’t care, M.”

“
Fine.” She didn’t have the strength to argue. “Amy, do as he says.”

Amy grinned and pulled out her cell. “You know you can’t argue with Joe.”

~ oOo ~

Maria laid back on the crisp white pillows and scowled. “You can stop looking so smug. I’m still pissed at you, Tiny Taylor.” The drive to the hospital had nearly killed her, but now the pain killers were starting to kick in and with fluids being pumped into her body, she was feeling just a little better. She wasn’t going to tell him that, though.

Joe smirked. “So you ain't feeling better then, M?”

“
Yes, I’m feeling better. But then I always did like morphine.” She smiled and touched his hand. “Still going to die, though.”

Joe pulled a chair closer to the bed and sitting down, pressed her fingers to his lips. “World’s gonna be a duller place without you in it.”

“If I could stay I would, Joe.” She closed her eyes and a solitary tear ran down her cheek. “Will you stay with me?”

“
Of course.”

As she watched Joe and her sister through the window, Beth felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. As soon as he’d called and said that Maria was in the hospital and didn’t have long left, she hadn’t hesitated. If there was the smallest chance that Maria would see her she’d take it, and if not she needed to be there to support Amy and Jack. She had tried to tell herself that the only reason Joe was there was some misguided sense of loyalty. But now, watching him stroking her hair and kissing her fingers, she knew she was kidding herself. She didn’t care what he said, she really was only second best. She turned on her heel and hurried towards the nearest exit, desperate to get as far away from them as she could.

    Rounding the corner, two coffee cups in her hands, Amy caught a glimpse of her aunt disappearing through the doors at the end of the corridor. One look through the window into the room where her mother was lying told her why. “Oh, shit. Joe you are such a fucking idiot.” She followed Beth out into a small courtyard. “Beth, wait up.”

Beth sighed and waited for her niece. “I’m okay, Amy.”

“Sure you are.” She sat on a stone bench overlooking a rose garden. “You know that Joe loves you?”

“
I know he says he does.” She took a cup from Amy. “But you saw what he’s like with your mom.”

Amy sighed and rolled her eyes. “Beth, I love you and you are the smartest person I know. But sometimes you really are dumb. Back there, what did you see?”

“You know what I saw.”

“
No. I know what I saw. Joe does love my mom, but not like you think. I didn’t see a man in love with a woman back there. I saw a man comforting a dying friend. All I ever see when they’re together is guilt, regret and pity.” She grinned at Beth’s raised eyebrows. “When Joe watches you organizing a barbecue or goofing around with his brothers when they come for dinner, he’s so proud of you. It’s written all over his face. Shit, Beth. He worships the ground you walk on.” She kissed her on the cheek. “I’m going back in. You can come in with me, or you can sit out here boohooing cuz you think Joe don’t love you enough.”

“
Wow. I guess I should consider myself told.” Beth gave a shaky smile. “You go on in. I’ll join you in a bit.”

Beth watched as her niece headed back into the hospital, and took a sip of the coffee. She should go back in, but it was nice out here in the sun, and she couldn’t bring herself to face them.

The door opened again and she turned and watched as Joe approached. He grinned. “Think you stole my coffee, girl.”

She smiled and held out the cup. “Take it please, it’s disgusting.”

He sat next to her and took a sip with a grimace. “Why you out here, Beth?” When she didn’t answer, he frowned. “Did I, or did I not, tell you that you are my old lady and I love you?”

“Yes.” Her voice was tiny. “I know I’m being irrational, but I can’t help it. Maria was always the beautiful one, the one you really wanted.”

“
Told you before that I wasn’t gonna keep repeating myself. This ain't about me or M. This is about your insecurities. And right now, Beth, I ain't got the energy to deal with them. Your sister is dying and she’s scared and in pain. Now I ain't gonna leave Amy to deal with that on her own, so I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to suck it up.” He stood and threw the cup in the bin before marching away without a backwards glance.

“
Joe. Wait, please.” He stopped, but didn’t turn round. “You’re right, and I’m sorry.” She touched his back, flinching as she felt him tense up. “Please don’t be mad at me. Not now, I couldn’t stand it.”

“
I ain't mad.” He brushed her hand away and continued walking. “Got people who need me.”

~ oOo ~

Suck it up? Beth scowled and watched his retreating back. Suck it up. What the fuck did he think she’d been doing? All her fucking life, that’s all she’d done. Kept her head down, her lip buttoned and picked up the pieces. Good old dependable Beth. Oh yeah, she was the perfect old lady. Reliable, undemanding, pathetically grateful for any scraps of affection thrown her way. No wonder he kept her around.

Slowly she followed him and watched as he resumed his vigil at Maria’s bedside. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door. “Joe, can I have a minute with my sister, please?”

Maria scowled as Joe nodded and gave up his chair. “I’ll be outside.” He touched her hand and left the room, barely acknowledging Beth.

“What do you want, Beth?”

“
I don’t know. To talk, I guess. To clear the air.”

“
You want me to forgive you? Is that it? Cuz if you do, you’re going to be disappointed.”

“
Forgive me? For what?”

“
For taking Joe from me. You couldn’t fucking wait, could you. You’re pathetic, do you know that? Always lurking around on the sidelines wanting a piece of what I had.” Maria pulled herself into a more upright position, grunting with the effort.

“
I didn’t take Joe away from you.”

“
You got that right, bitch. He might have put his mark on you, but who did he drop everything and come running to?” She smirked as a look of pain flashed across her sister's face. That barb had hit home. “He will never love you like he loved me, and you know it. Doesn’t matter what he says. You know that if you stepped through that door right now and begged him to go with you and leave me here alone, he’d refuse. I might be dying, but I will go to my grave knowing that I was his one true love. If you live to be a hundred you will never measure up. Now why don’t you fuck off and be the dutiful little housewife that you’re so good at being.”

“
You finished?” Beth stood and leaned over her sister. “Good. You’ve said your piece now I will say mine. I came in here hoping that we could put the past behind us and, I don’t know. Say our goodbyes as sisters. You don’t want that, fine. But you will hear what I have to say. All my life I have picked up after you. I’ve paid your debts, taken care of your kids and stood silently by as you have infected everyone around you with your poison. Not because I wanted what you had, but because I loved you. And yes, I loved Joe and I hated watching you treat him like shit, because he’s a good man and he deserved better. Maybe you’re right and Joe won't ever love me like he loved you, I don’t know. But I do know that it doesn’t matter. Because you will be dead and we will be together. And despite what you think, he is with me because that’s where he wants to be. I’m sorry that you are prepared to go to your grave hating me, but I will not let it affect the rest of my life. I don’t feel guilty, and I don’t want your forgiveness. I just thought you might like the chance to redeem yourself. Guess I was wrong. Goodbye, Maria.” She straightened up and walked out with her head held high.

“You okay?” Joe frowned as she walked past him, failing to meet his eye.

“
Would it make any difference if I wasn’t?” Joe said nothing, and she sighed. “Thought not. You’d better get back in there.”

“
Hey. Where you going?”

“
Anywhere but here.”

Amy sat on the hood of Joe’s truck and watched as Beth walked across the lot and out onto the street. Part of her wanted to run after her aunt and stop her from leaving, but after arranging for Jack to be picked up from school and a long discussion with his new potential foster family about the best way to tackle the subject of his mother's imminent death, she didn’t have the energy. And if she was honest she was a little pissed at her for bailing. She needed her, and so did Joe.

~ oOo ~

When she had walked out, Beth had no idea where she was heading. She just wanted to get as far away as possible. She just walked, paying no attention to her surroundings, driven not by anger, not even by pain, just a pervading feeling of loss. She was done with all of them. Maria, Joe, even Amy. They had all taken every last piece of her until there was nothing left. She was empty, just a big hole where her heart had been. And with no idea where that left her, she carried on walking until she found herself standing outside the Greyhound bus terminal. There was no plan, she just needed space. And as she handed over her credit card, all she knew was the reason she had chosen that destination was that the bus was leaving in ten minutes, and she had to get out of town as fast as she could.

~ oOo ~

Amy stood in the corridor watching Joe bring a glass of water to her mom’s lips. She had no idea what had been said to cause Beth to walk out but she had no doubt that her mother had something to do with it. Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against the glass. Even now on her deathbed, Maria was driving those who loved her away. No, not this time. Amy squared her shoulders. She would not let her aunt be treated like this. She pushed open the door. “What did you say to Beth?”

Joe turned and scowled. “Not now, Amy.”

“When, then? Tomorrow, the next day? When we’re putting Mom in the ground?”

“
I said not now, Amy.” Joe’s voice was low and menacing, and any other time she would have backed down. But this couldn’t wait.

“
I know what you said, Joe.” She turned to her mother. “What did you say to Beth?”

“
I didn’t say anything.”

“
Bullshit. There’s no way Beth would have walked out if you hadn’t said anything.”

“
Amy.” Joe stood and loomed over her. “You will stop this now.”

“
Or what, Joe? You gonna send me away too? Shit. Open your eyes. Even on her fucking deathbed, she is playing her games.” Again she turned to her mother. “What did you say to Beth. Tell me, or I walk.”

“
The truth. I told her the truth.”

“
The truth?”

“
I told her that Joe would never really love her. That he kept her around cuz it was easy. That she was pathetic.

“
Shit.” Joe ran his hand over his head. “Shit. Why would you say that, M?”

“
Because this is what she does, Joe.” Amy whirled on him and unleashed her fury. “And you let her. You must have known that this is what she’d do, but you stayed here while your old lady walked out. You know what, you two really deserve each other. If you lose her because of this, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”