A Family Name (10 page)

Will glanced at his daughter for the first
time during the meal and found her eyes glued to him. Guilt gnawed
at him. He told himself that he wasn't used to having a child, and
there was truth in that, but the more honest answer was that when a
migraine struck the rest of the world faded into blackness. Will
fought to maintain a pinpoint focus on reality so as not to
retch.

"Absolutely," he said, mustering a smile that
he hoped didn't look as forced as it felt.

He watched in confusion as Lexi's mouth
turned down into a frown and her gaze flickered to Charlotte. When
the girl didn't respond, Will floundered a moment before letting
his smile droop and his attention returned to his plate. The
rhythmic clacking of a fork on a plate felt like gunfire to his
throbbing head.

"Cut that out." Without thinking Will reached
over and snatched Shane's toddler spoon away. The instant his
fingers closed around the plastic utensil, Will realized his
mistake. He dropped it on the table and said, "I'm sorry, buddy. I
didn't mean to yell."

Shane's face crumpled and big tears ran down
his cheeks as his body heaved with silent sobs. Charlotte's chair
scraped the floor as she rose and picked Shane up out of his
booster seat. Will listened, guilt ever present and growing, as
Charlotte murmured soothing words to the little boy. If he ever
felt like a heel it was now. How could he have yelled at the little
boy? The reasoning that he had a migraine didn't and wouldn't fly.
He was supposed to be a dad now. To three children. And he was
already failing miserably. He might love having them there, but
that didn't mean he was good at the parenting thing.

"I think it would be okay if you kids went to
watch some cartoons," Charlotte said, breaking through Will's
thoughts. "I'll get dinner cleaned up. Lexi, why don't you go get
your homework? Since your dad says he's feeling fine, maybe he can
help you."

Was that sarcasm in her voice? Will blinked,
but Charlotte's face gave away nothing. The haze that he had been
fighting all night descended. Deep in his brain the active part was
screaming at him to wake up and fight the feeling or all too soon
Lexi and Charlotte would come to understand the depth of his pain
and weakness. And that just wasn't acceptable.

As Charlotte cleared the dinner dishes, Lexi
set her math book on the table along with a sheet of lined notebook
paper and a stubby yellow pencil. The moment her chair bumped his,
Will felt his stomach lurch. With that jolt the waves of pain
started again. Why wasn't his medication kicking in?

"They put me in Algebra," Lexi was saying
when Will managed to tune back in. "I told them that I was in
pre-algebra at my school in Rapid but they said my test scores were
high enough for Algebra. There's only, like, three weeks of school
left so it seems dumb."

Charlotte made a disapproving noise from the
sink. "Your guidance counselor told you to give it a try. If you
can't test out of it by the end of school, you'll take it next
year. No big deal."

Will caught Lexi's not-so-subtle eye roll as
Charlotte turned back to the sink. The page of Lexi's textbook
seemed too glaringly white for Will's brain to process. Numbers
swam before his eyes, making him feel dizzy. He could hear each
scrape of Lexi's pencil as she wrote the first equation on the
paper.

While Will told himself to focus over and
over, his body began to feel the side effects of his migraine
medication. His head felt so heavy all he wanted to do was sleep.
As bile rose in his throat, Will clenched his fists on top of his
knees.

"What do you think, Dad? Did I get it
right?"

Will looked at his daughter and realized that
he had no idea what she was talking about. "I can't do this." Will
exhaled sharply and pushed his chair back from the table. And
without another word he left the kitchen.

****

Charlotte's jaw dropped as she stared after
Will. His behavior had been off all evening, but she had decided to
ignore it, hoping instead that he would snap out of it. She knew
that having her and Lexi move in and create a pseudo family was
hard on him. But it was hard on her and Lexi too, not to mention
Sierra and Shane.

As she looked over at Lexi now, anger flared
within her chest. The girl stared after her father, blinking
rapidly. Charlotte suspected that Lexi didn't want any of them to
see her cry.

Charlotte was about to follow after Will to
give him a piece of her mind when a loud knock at the back door
derailed her fury. A moment later, Will's mom, Karen popped her
head in. She smiled warmly at Charlotte and quickly crossed the
kitchen to hug her granddaughter.

With her sun-streaked brown hair falling in
soft waves to her shoulders Karen didn't look old enough to have
three grown sons. Charlotte admired the confident way the older
woman moved, and the way she had embraced all these near strangers
into her family.

"Where's Will this evening?" Karen asked.

Lexi's lip trembled. "He left. He's mad at
me."

Karen met Charlotte's eyes with surprise.
Charlotte shook her head softly. "He just stormed out of here a
minute ago. He was going to help Lexi with her math homework but I
guess he changed his mind. Actually he's been acting pretty strange
all night."

"Ah." Karen nodded. "He probably has a
migraine."

"A what?" Lexi asked.

"It's like a really bad headache." The coil
of tension in Charlotte's stomach began to unwind as Karen's words
sunk in. "It makes him feel sick. Actually that explains a lot.
Karen, do you think you could help Lexi with her homework while I
put Sierra and Shane to bed?"

Karen smiled and took a seat at the table.
"I'd be honored. Math is one of my specialties."

Charlotte paused at the kitchen doorway to
watch the way Lexi responded to her grandmother. The small smile on
the girl's face made Charlotte's heart sing. Charlotte was glad
that Lexi was feeling love from a new family member. While
Charlotte knew that Will wanted them there, she couldn't accept
that he would treat them with anything but kindness and respect.
She and Lexi had left their whole lives behind to move to the
ranch. For her, the move was temporary, but Will wanted his
daughter with him permanently. So where did that leave her? The
thought made her freeze, but a moment later she forced herself to
shake off the negative thought.

In the living room, Charlotte located the
remote and shut off the TV. Shane's eyes were already closed, and
Sierra's lids looked droopy. The fact that Will suffered from
migraines gave a new dimension to his behavior tonight. Still, the
way he had behaved couldn't simply be excused. Sierra and Shane
needed stability more than anything else right now. And if they
couldn't count on Will to provide them with love and care even in
his lowest moments, they would never start to heal and develop new
attachments.

"Come on, guys, let's get you into your
jammies," she said, scooping up Shane, who laid his head down
wearily.

"Charlotte?" Sierra's small hand caught hold
of the hem of Charlotte's shirt.

"Yes, sweetie?"

Sierra's mouth pursed, then she caught her
lip between her teeth and chewed a moment. "Is Uncle Will mad that
we have to live here?"

The gasp escaped Charlotte's throat before
she could stop it. "No! Oh, honey, no. Uncle Will feels sick
tonight."

"Oh." Sierra seemed to think about this turn
of events for a moment before offering Charlotte a small smile.
"Well, I hope he feels better."

"I'm sure he will soon."

Charlotte led the way to the little ones'
bedroom where she helped Shane into his pajamas before sending him
into the bathroom. A moment later he yelped and Charlotte heard a
splash. When she entered the bathroom she saw him folded into the
toilet Charlotte had to work hard to suppress a smile. She wished
Will could see this. Even at his most serious she had seen the
flickers of a smile when Shane and Sierra did goofy things. The
moment felt oddly empty without him there to share it.

"It's okay, buddy," Charlotte said as she
pulled the boy out of the toilet.

After drying him off and helping him brush
his teeth, Charlotte settled him into his bed and supervised
Sierra's bedtime routine, which went smoother. Once both kids were
in bed, she read a story and sang a song. Shane's eyes were closed
before she finished, but Sierra lay on the pillow looking up at her
sadly.

"What's wrong?" Charlotte sat down on the
small twin bed, and smoothed Sierra's hair.

"I miss my mommy."

The words came out in a whisper but they
screamed to Charlotte's heart. She couldn't do anything else but
scoop the little girl into a hug and hold her until the tears
subsided. When Sierra was cried out, Charlotte kissed her head and
tucked her in. She waited until the girl's eyes fluttered shut.

Back in the hallway, Charlotte sagged against
the wall. When she had agreed to move in here, she hadn't counted
on getting so emotionally involved with everyone. In the space of
two weeks she had formed attachments that would break her heart in
the end. She adored Sierra and Shane, and each day she spent with
Lexi made her envision them all as a family unit. Despite the fact
that Will had been harsh earlier, Charlotte knew he liked having
them there. She could see it when he smiled at her.

Moving quietly to her room, Charlotte logged
on to the Internet. A quick search gave her some simple ideas, and
she felt a surge of excitement. There was something about being
useful that made Charlotte feel especially alive. Since taking a
leave of absence from work, she had found her usefulness fulfilled
in major ways from taking care of the children. She had also found
that she derived a strange satisfaction from taking care of the
house.

When she got to the kitchen, Karen and Lexi
were both still hunched over the math book. "How's it going?"

Lexi glanced up with a scowl. "I hate
algebra."

Karen just laughed. "She's doing fine. It's
just taking a bit longer than she expected. And how are the little
ones? Off to dream land, I suppose."

"Yup. All tucked in. I'm just going to take
some ice to Will. Maybe it will help the migraine."

"That's a nice idea. I used to do that for
him when he was young. Apparently he doesn't take the time to do it
for himself."

Charlotte laughed. "Well, hopefully he'll be
receptive to it. Good luck with the math."

"I need it," Lexi groaned.

Math had not been Charlotte's strong point in
school, but she was trying to be encouraging. Lexi had so much
natural intelligence that she needed to be challenged. Charlotte
was still musing over this thought when she reached Will's room.
She tapped lightly on the door and got a grunting response. Taking
that as approval for entry, Charlotte walked into the dark room and
shut the door quickly behind her. The website had mentioned that
many people with migraines had trouble with bright light and loud
sounds. Charlotte had no idea if Will was one of those people, but
she didn't want to risk it.

"Who's there?" Will's words were muffled like
he had his face buried in his pillow.

Charlotte cleared her throat. "Um, it's me.
Charlotte. I just, um, brought you some ice."

Allowing her eyes to adjust to the muted
darkness of Will's room a shiver of awareness raced along her
spine. She didn't make it a practice to spend time in the bedrooms
of men she barely knew, and yet, rather than feeling awkward she
felt alive. Will's scent invaded every pore of her being, and for a
moment Charlotte forgot every reason she had come. Movement on the
bed snapped her out of her nonsense.

"Thanks." Will's gruff voice cut through the
blackness, and made Charlotte's lips curl into a smile.

She moved carefully through the room,
stopping when she bumped against the bed frame. As Charlotte
pressed the sandwich bag full of ice into Will's outstretched hand,
their fingers brushed and Charlotte felt a jolt of electricity run
along her arm. She gasped and stepped back. What was going on with
her here? Certainly she found Will attractive and interesting. She
admired his commitment and willingness to raise these children. And
at every turn she had seen him suppress his own ambition to help
his family. When they talked, the few times that they had anyway,
Charlotte had been fascinated by his brilliant mind. But she wasn't
there to find a love connection. She was there as Lexi's
guardian.

"Leave." Will groaned, and Charlotte could
hear the ice crackle together as he pressed it to his forehead.

Charlotte could hear the pain lacing his
voice. She shifted from foot to foot thinking about the information
she had read on the migraine website. The article had touted the
benefits of deep tissue massage, and she had taken courses in that
very topic back in college when she had toyed with the idea of
being a physical therapist.

She cleared her throat. "Is there anything
else I can get you? Or, um, would you like a massage?"

"I'm fine. Just. Leave."

Even though she knew she should go, she could
hear the intensity of his hurting and she wanted to help despite
his brusqueness. Taking a deep breath, Charlotte moved closer to
Will. She lowered herself onto the edge of his mattress. She felt
him tense up as he realized that she was not going to comply with
his request. He shifted away from her, moaning slightly as the
movement must have caused him pain.

"Leave." The word sounded more like a growl
from an animal in pain, than from a grown man.

Charlotte's heart bumped unsteadily in her
chest as she said, "I took some classes in college in deep tissue
massage. Just let me rub out your neck and shoulders. It should
help. I know you're in pain. Please, let me help."