A Family Name (8 page)

"This is the horse barn." Her dad pushed open
the big door.

Inside the darkness of the barn made Lexi
feel calm. Horses made weird noises all around her, and the smell
of hay and manure invaded her nostrils. Yet, Lexi felt at home
there. This was where she was meant to be. She wondered if her dad
would teach her how to ride.

From the corner of her eye Lexi watched
Charlotte and her dad talk softly to each other. She hoped that her
dad was breaking down Charlotte's reasons for not moving to the
ranch. They'd get along well – Charlotte and her dad — if they just
gave it a chance. Lexi knew she couldn't move there without
Charlotte. She understood how the foster system worked. And as
crazy as it sounded, she hoped that Charlotte could have some sort
of permanent role in their lives. Not that she was planning any
sort of weird Parent Trap-ish thing. Still, as Charlotte laughed at
something her dad said, hope began to bloom in Lexi's stomach.

****

Will knew that Charlotte wouldn't break down
and agree any time soon, but he found that he didn't mind. He
enjoyed talking to her, bantering with her. As they walked through
the horse barn, he found that he was excited to show her his home.
Lexi stopped several stalls behind them to stare at one of the bay
mares. Standing on the bottom rung of the stall gate, his daughter
looked completely at home. His chest tightened. This girl needed to
be here with him.

"How big is your ranch?" Charlotte's voice
broke through his haze.

As Will repeated the acreage, he wondered if
he was boring her. He guided her out of the barn, calling back to
Lexi, "Take as long as you want, we'll be right out here."

The back of the barn had a great view of the
surrounding valley. To the south and west, low mountains covered
with scrubby pine rose toward the sky. North of the valley,
foothills rolled gently to the horizon. Prairie extended east
toward Mountain View.

"Why are those sections of pine so brown?"
Charlotte pointed to a thick swath of trees colored a rusty brown
between the darker greens.

Will sighed and leaned against a corral
fence. "Mountain Pine Beetles. They're destroying the Hills one
tree at a time. We've tried spraying, and obviously that works in
some places. But they still seem to get to the trees."

"I think I read about those in the paper,"
Charlotte said. She turned her gaze back to the distant forest, a
sad expression on her face. Something about the look tugged at
Will's heart. He shifted uncomfortably. These sudden emotions
sneaking up on him had to be a result of his grief. Hadn't his mom
said something to that effect the other night?

Focusing on the inane subject of the beetles,
Will pushed himself away from the fence, and came to stand beside
Charlotte. They stood shoulder to shoulder as they examined the
damage from afar. The strips of destroyed trees looked like zigzags
on these particular mountains. Everyone in the area had worried
since the drought took hold the summer before that these trees made
particularly good kindling for fledgling fires. So far nothing had
happened up in their neck of the woods, but a fairly substantial
four thousand acre fire had wiped out the small town of Salt Creek
in the southern Hills just last October.

Charlotte shook her head. "It's so sad. The
Hills are known for their beauty. My foster mom used to call them
the Emerald Isle. I had no idea what she meant until I got older. I
think the beauty here is one reason I haven't left."

"I've been out on some of the spraying
expeditions. Just as a volunteer, so I don't know all the ins and
outs of the issue, but I can tell you that people are definitely
worried. I'm worried."

"I can understand that." Charlotte put her
hand on his forearm, and Will felt the electricity of her touch
through the soft flannel of his shirt. The current of his heartbeat
danced out of time in an erratic pattern that made him feel
odd.

"That brown horse with the white eye patch is
the coolest thing I've ever seen." Lexi burst out of the barn,
interrupting whatever moment had been passing between the adults.
"You should have named him Peg Leg or some pirate-y name."

Charlotte had dropped her hand, but Will
still felt mesmerized by the heat. He cleared his throat and hoped
that would clear his head. "I'll, uh, talk to Walker about changing
the name."

With a soft laugh, like she knew exactly what
she did to him, Charlotte walked over to Lexi and took the girl's
arm. Together, the two started walking along the fence. He
followed, reminding himself that he was supposed to be giving them
a tour. Several outbuildings nearby provided a welcome distraction
so he could pull himself together. The running commentary that he
gave about the sheep barn sounded especially dull to his ears.

"Will there be lambs soon?" Lexi asked,
looking up at him with shining eyes.

Once again Will felt no doubt that this girl
was his daughter. Those eyes were his own, his brothers', his
father's, and the shape of her nose resembled Mary's to a tee.
Will's stomach twisted as he thought about how things must have
gone horribly wrong in ways he hadn't seen if Mary had felt it
necessary to keep Lexi's existence from him. And then to have her
lose custody of Lexi. Nothing he did to get his daughter under his
roof would be too much.

"Yes," Will replied. "There'll be lambs very
soon. In fact all the animals should be having babies by June.
You'll love it."

He glanced up at Charlotte to see her
reaction to his comment. Despite the twinge of guilt at baiting
her, Will knew he had to draw Charlotte back into the conversation.
That was his only hope at getting Lexi to the ranch for good. He
had to admit the idea of getting to know Charlotte better appealed
to him too. "I'm sure it will be great," Charlotte said, her
cheerfulness sounding forced.

Lexi seemed oblivious to both of them at the
moment, and she broke into a run as they approached the hay barn.
Several cats lounged outside the open doors in the late afternoon
sunlight. Will was as glad as they were that spring had been
unseasonably warm. It meant he could get his interim field
experience class out to the back pasture by the middle of May.
Thinking about work brought a rush of blood to his head, the
suddenness of it surrounding him, cocooning him in a haze that he
recognized all too well. Hopefully Lexi and Charlotte would be gone
by the time his migraine hit. His mom would have to take Sierra and
Shane again.

"Are you okay?" The genuine concern in
Charlotte's voice cut through the headache aura.

"I'll be fine," he answered gruffly. "Let's
continue the tour. This is a big place."

After showing them his parents' house, they
crossed the ridge to Walker's house. His ramshackle little log
cabin looked like it might collapse at any moment, but in truth the
building was the sturdiest on the ranch.

"So Uncle Walker lives there," Lexi said.
Will felt a rush of warmth as she referred to them all as family
members. "Where does Uncle Wyatt live?"

Will chuckled. "Wyatt lives in the apartment
above the horse barn."

Lexi wrinkled her nose. "That's so gross.
That means he smells horse poop all the time."

Charlotte burst out laughing and Will laughed
harder. He felt better suddenly, the pain that had threatened
earlier leaving him as quickly as it had started. Maybe Charlotte
and Lexi were the elusive cure for his migraines.

****

Despite the general feelings of good will and
friendliness flowing all over the place, Charlotte knew that just
agreeing to walk around the ranch meant that she had compromised
the upper hand. The more time Lexi spent there, the more she would
want to move there. And who could blame her? Will's ranch was a
dream that Charlotte had harbored her entire life, especially her
teenage years growing up in her foster family's cramped two bedroom
apartment. Space to roam. Horses to ride. Family to come home
to.

"Lexi, we need to go soon. I have some work I
need to go over." Charlotte hated the way her voice sounded as soon
as the words left her mouth. The sternness didn't sit well on her,
and she longed to shrug it off like a coat on a warm spring day.
Still, the tiny sane part of her brain told her that enough was
enough. She would most likely lose her job over all this, and if
they stayed even a minute longer she wouldn't care. She would pack
them up and move them here herself. The craziness of the idea made
her dizzy.

Charlotte felt herself sway slightly, and
reached out for the nearest something to steady herself. That just
happened to be Will's arm. Embarrassed she jerked back, nearly
stumbling over a small tree root as she did so. Will reached out
and caught her before anything could happen. He kept a solid arm
firmly around her shoulders as he drew her gently back to his
chest. She leaned her head back against him briefly, loving the
feel of the firm muscles under the soft flannel.

"Are you okay?"

The sound of Will's concerned voice snapped
Charlotte firmly back into reality. Embarrassment flooded her as
she stepped back quickly.

"I'm fine," she mumbled, not quite able to
look Will in the eye. Her gaze landed squarely on his nose. "Just
not used to this elevation."

Will laughed, the chuckle rolling deep in his
throat. "Yeah, Rapid City is so much lower than Mountain View."

Charlotte looked up at him, and felt the heat
on her neck and cheeks deepen as he winked. Thoughts flooded her
head, but they were too jumbled for her to sort out. All she knew
was that she needed to step away from him because he acted as a
scrambler for her common sense.

"Are you guys coming or what?" Lexi called
from down the path.

"We'll be right there," Will called back. He
waited a beat, and then asked, "So, you're sure you feel okay? I
mean, we can go back to the house if you need to."

Charlotte shook her head. "I'm fine."

She hoped he couldn't tell that she was
lying. The way Will studied her made her squirm inside. It was
almost like he could read her thoughts. She had never felt so
tongue-tied around a man before, not even when her first big crush
asked her to a dance in eighth grade. Ever since Will had run into
her car he had invaded her mind at the most inappropriate times.
And now here he was again invading the life that she had so
carefully set up and envisioned. She cursed herself for getting
caught up in dreams that couldn't come true, that had no way of
coming true. She had worked in her field long enough to know that
no placement was ever truly permanent, unless adoption was
involved.

"Dad, what is that awesome house out there in
the field?" Lexi came sprinting up the path toward them. Her choice
of words was not lost on Charlotte, and a glance at Will told him
he was affected by it as well.

Will cleared his throat. "That's the original
farmstead," he said, his voice breaking.

Charlotte felt herself wobble again at the
sound. Was that a real wobble or did she just imagine it? She knew
she couldn't let this man affect her like this.

"So cool. Charlotte, you have to see it."
Lexi grabbed Charlotte's hand and started tugging her down the
path.

Telling herself to stay in the moment,
Charlotte tried to keep up with Lexi's pace, but the calf-high
boots she had zipped over her jeans that morning weren't the best
for running. When they got to the top of the next rise, Charlotte
caught her breath. A low stone wall bordered the path on one side,
although most of the rocks were broken and crumbling. Past the
wall, a meadow full of minty colored spring grass dotted with
purple and white wildflowers stretched to the west. In the middle
of the meadow sat the stone farmstead Lexi had proclaimed to be
awesome. The little one-room structure was modest to be sure, but
as Charlotte turned in a slow circle, drinking in the view, she
understood why Will's ancestors had settled there all those years
ago.

"It's magnificent," Charlotte said, as Will
approached.

He gazed around and nodded slowly. With a
thoughtful look on his face, Will said, "I've been out here
thousands of times, and it always hits me the same way."

"When did your family settle here?" Charlotte
asked.

"1877," Will said. "After the gold rush in
Deadwood started to peter out. My great-too-many-greats to mention
grandfather staked himself a little claim here and sent back East
for his bride. And we've been here ever since."

Charlotte looked at Lexi who was watching
Will with rapt attention and shining eyes. "That's amazing." She
turned her face toward Charlotte. "My family built that."

The way Lexi emphasized the word family made
Charlotte's heart squeeze. Hard. She knew that longing, that desire
to be part of something bigger, that need to be loved just as she
was. Charlotte knew that she would let Lexi go when the time came.
She would have to, legally of course, but also just because it was
best for the girl. But until then she had to keep her sanity and
protect her job, which would be the only thing she had after she
lost Lexi.

She swallowed past the sudden lump in her
throat. "Lex, we have to go, sweetie. Tell… your dad good bye.
We'll set up another meeting again real soon."

Lexi's eyes flashed, first with anger, then
sadness. "I don't want to leave."

Charlotte felt the stab of guilt that she had
been anticipating, and said, "I know you don't, but I told you that
I've got some files to go over."

"Okay."

Lexi flung herself at Will, who looked
startled by the girl's sudden burst of emotions. Despite the tangle
of emotions mixing up inside, Charlotte had to smile a small smile.
Thirteen-year-old girls certainly weren't in his repertoire. When
Will wrapped his arms around his daughter, Charlotte knew that the
world of father and daughter was complete in that moment. And she
felt a measure of relief. Not everyone's stories got to have those
kinds of moments. She wanted that for Lexi… and for Will.