A Family Name (5 page)

Mary gasped. The sound drifted out to them,
and Charlotte could feel Lexi's grip tighten on her arm. The door
opened a fraction of an inch, and Charlotte watched as Mary peered
back around the door.

"Can we come in?"

Mary paused before nodding, a tiny movement
barely discernible to the naked eye. Charlotte tugged Lexi forward,
and they stepped into the dimly lit apartment. Every professional
thing in Charlotte screamed for her to get out of there. The two
should not be meeting under these circumstances. Mary stepped back,
wrapping her arms around herself.

"Mom?" Lexi stepped forward.

Charlotte could see the uncertainty on Lexi's
face. Hearing the girl call Mary "Mom" transported Charlotte back
to the last time she had seen her own mother. She had been fifteen.
Her foster parents had received a letter from the prison system
detailing her mother's date of release. Despite the fact that
parental rights had been terminated for years, Charlotte's foster
mom had thought it important for her to see the woman. And when
Charlotte had stepped up to hug her, her mother had looked at her
with such disgust that a shudder still ran through Charlotte as she
dredged up the memory.

"This is your daughter, Lexi," Charlotte
said, forcing her voice not to wobble.

"Alexis?" Mary's eyes widened as she took the
girl in. "I haven't seen you in…"

Her words tapered off as Charlotte and Lexi
stepped into the living room. A battered floral sofa sat beneath
the room's only window. A TV was on in one corner, the flickering
screen showing a daytime talk show. The frayed carpet appeared
stained. Thank goodness she wouldn't have to leave Lexi there. As
soon as the thought entered Charlotte's mind she felt guilty. Mary
couldn't help her circumstances, at least not according to the case
file.

Lexi stood near the still-open front door
hugging her arms around herself. Charlotte took several steps back,
put a gentle hand on the Lexi's shoulder, and guided her into the
room. Despite Charlotte's churning emotions, her disbelief that
Lexi would actually pull off such a stunt, she felt a compassion
for the girl that she had always hoped someone would feel for her.
She wanted to protect Lexi from the experience if it turned out
badly.

"Your daughter has wanted to meet you for
quite awhile," Charlotte said, her hand still on Lexi's arm.

Mary mirrored her daughter, arms wrapped
tightly around her chest. "I didn't think…"

As her words trailed off, Charlotte felt a
flush of exasperation. She cared for Lexi, and as her guardian, and
a social worker, Charlotte knew that this experience needed some
guidance if it was going to work. She propelled Lexi toward the
sofa, and motioned for her to sit down. The girl sat obediently,
putting her hands under her legs as she settled onto the shabby
cushion.

Then Charlotte walked over to Mary. "Come
talk to your daughter for a few minutes."

A dullness clouded Mary's eyes for a moment
as she stared at Charlotte. Then a flash of something lit through
them. Charlotte could actually see the spark of life coming back
into them as Mary blinked. She raised her hand and pushed Charlotte
away from her. The blow was minor but caught Charlotte off guard.
She stumbled back a few feet and caught herself on a nearby
wall.

"Mom!" Lexi appeared next to Charlotte a
moment later. "What are you thinking?"

"I didn't ask you here." Mary's eyes turned
toward Lexi with a fury that Charlotte could feel. "I liked my life
the way it was. I might not be much better but I can function. You
just waltz in here, ready to disrupt everything, just like your
father."

Charlotte watched as Lexi's slowly crumpling
face froze. The girl clutched Charlotte's arm. "My father?"

Mary laughed a sad, brittle laugh that
sounded more like a croaking cackle. "He always thought he could
just show up and everything would be handed to him. You obviously
get that from him."

"I just wanted to meet you." Lexi's voice
cracked as she leaned into Charlotte.

"So you've met me. Now go bug someone else.
Better yet, go bug your father."

"I can't believe she gave me his name."

Charlotte reached into the laundry basket to
pull out another sock to fold. She rolled them into a tight ball
and squeezed it in her hand. She couldn't believe Mary had given
the girl her father's name either. To start with, the whole visit
had been so far outside agency guidelines that Charlotte didn't
want to think about the myriad consequences of her actions. But
when Mary had spat out Lexi's father's name, every gear in
Charlotte's mind had ground to a halt. At first she thought she
hadn't heard correctly, but Mary repeated the name half a dozen
more times so Charlotte was positive she had heard the other
woman.

"William Wright." Lexi smoothed the piece of
paper on the coffee table for the hundredth time that hour. Her
voice had a dreamy quality every time she murmured the name. A
stranger would have thought the girl was pining over Hollywood's
next big star. "When can we meet him?"

Charlotte's tongue felt glued to the roof of
her mouth. She hadn't found the courage to tell Lexi she had
already met Will. And for some reason that she couldn't fathom, she
helped Lexi look up Will's information; information she herself had
already searched for. This time, however, they yielded a home
address just thirty five minutes north of Rapid City. Lexi had
squealed with excitement, her hands pressed against her cheeks, all
memories of the painful visit with her mother fading at the thought
of finding her father. Charlotte couldn't take that away from her,
even if she knew better. Besides, the little voice in the back of
her mind reminded Charlotte time and again that she would like to
meet Will just one more time.

After taking up residence there several weeks
ago, Will had lingered at the edge of her thoughts. Now she sat
poised on the edge of a bad professional decision or a potentially
wonderful personal one. She reminded herself that she needed to do
things by the book if she wanted to keep Lexi. Even her supervisor
had warned her that because Lexi needed stability the agency wanted
her in a two parent home, but because they knew and trusted
Charlotte they were willing to take the chance. So far, Charlotte
had blown that trust out of the water. Her professional self should
have marched Lexi home, but the real part of her knew what it felt
like so she had put everything on the line.

"I just hope he likes me more than my mom
did."

Charlotte snapped out of her reverie just in
time to see the first tears spill down Lexi's cheeks. Guilt snapped
over her, hot and fast. She never should have allowed that meeting
to progress, but as much as she berated herself for it now, the
damage had been done and all Charlotte could do was pick up the
pieces to help Lexi move on.

She scooted off the sofa and joined Lexi on
the floor. Draping one arm around the girl, Charlotte said, "Your
mom liked you just fine. We talked about this, remember? She has an
anxiety disorder that makes it impossible for her to even leave her
house. Us showing up on her doorstep probably brought up a lot of
bad memories."

"From when I was taken." Lexi fingered the
slip of paper holding Will's name and address.

Charlotte gave Lexi's shoulders a quick
squeeze. "Exactly. If she had more time to get used to the idea of
a visit, I bet she'd be a very different person."

Lexi swiped at her cheeks, the movement
jostling Charlotte. "I can't believe I thought she'd want me back.
Man, I am so stupid. I mean, I love living here and all but…"

"It's not stupid," Charlotte said, her voice
soft from the memories that crept up on her and threatened to
overwhelm her at any moment. "I was probably fifteen when I last
saw my mom. I'll never forget that. Your mom, though, it isn't that
she didn't want you. It's just that… she can barely take care of
herself. The pressure of a child is just too much for her."

"Why? Why did this happen to her? Why didn't
she fight harder? Anxiety disorder? That doesn't even sound real.
She probably made it up because she hated me." Lexi slapped a hand
down on the coffee table, and then winced.

Charlotte took Lexi's now injured hand in her
own and rubbed it gently. "She probably developed the anxiety
disorder after you were born. Maybe it was an offshoot of
postpartum depression. She was all alone with a new baby. It's not
like she didn't try, sweetie. She did, for almost three years. She
loved you, and she still does."

"You wouldn't know that from the way she
looked at me," Lexi said with a soul deep sigh. She leaned her head
back against the sofa and closed her eyes.

"It's hard to understand now," Charlotte
said. "But someday, you will."

"Doubt it."

The two fell into a heavy silence, the
stillness only punctuated by the frequent deep sighs from Lexi.
Finally the girl asked, "So, when can we meet my dad?"

Even though Charlotte could feel the weight
of her decision already resting heavily on her shoulders, she tried
to muster a smile. "We'll go after lunch. How does that sound?"

Lexi's eyes flew open. "Do you mean it? We
can really go after lunch?"

Charlotte nodded. "We'll leave at one."

"I have to go pick out something great to
wear."

As Lexi flew out of the room, Charlotte let
the wave of nerves that had been building crash over her. Whatever
the outcome of this decision, she knew that it would change her
life forever.

****

Lexi stood in front of her closet, cursing
her meager wardrobe. After the fiasco with her mom, she had assumed
that Charlotte would never let her meet her father, but there she
was, just hours away from seeing him for the first time. She had
never considered finding her father. All the years of searching for
her mother and she had never even looked for her dad.

What would he be like? She and Charlotte had
found a picture of him on the faculty page of the Black Hills
Paleontological Institute. Lexi had been startled to recognize the
resemblance between the two of them. She never expected to see
someone else who looked like her, and when she'd met her mother
there had been no similarity at all.

"He has kind eyes," Charlotte said as the two
of them stared at the picture.

Lexi didn't know what that meant exactly. She
figured it meant that Will would be a nice guy, unlike her mother.
Lexi could have kicked herself for believing that she could
resurrect a happy family where one had never existed before. Things
would be different with Will, though. He was her father. Daddies
always loved their little girls. Lexi had seen it time and again
with her friends' parents. Even when they fought with their moms,
they got along with their dads. Now Lexi wished she had started
searching for her dad much sooner.

Charlotte had already told her that there was
no record of her father. Now they were just going off what her
mother had said. Even Charlotte had seen the resemblance from the
picture though. In fact, she had gasped.

"It's the eyes," she'd murmured.

Lexi thought Charlotte might think her dad
was a hottie based on the way she stared at the picture, sort of
glassy-eyed. Girls looked at boys that way when they had a crush.
Lexi had only ever liked one boy, back in fifth grade, so she
wasn't an expert or anything. Still, she was thirteen. She just
knew things.

"I think I'll wear the blue dress," she said
to her reflection. "It'll bring out my eyes."

****

Will sighed as he swiped at the spilled
orange juice under Shane's booster seat. Drinks often ended up on
the floor or in the little boy's hair. Recalling the spaghetti mess
from the other night, Will gagged slightly. Who would have thought
he'd ever assume a father figure role? It seemed like an especially
cruel joke. The question kept him up at night. Why had Steve and
Gretchen never discussed their plans with him?

"Uncle Will? Can we go see the horses with
Gran?" Sierra poked her head in the screen door. In her hooded
sweatshirt, jeans, and boots she looked right at home on the ranch.
His heart tugged as he heard her refer to his mother as Gran. With
his mom's help, he had been able to juggle the kids and teaching
Steve's courses in addition to his own. The past few weeks had been
so busy that he had barely had time to sleep let alone process the
recent events.

"Sure, sweetie." Will stood, tossing the rag
in the sink. "Where is… Gran?"

"Right here." Karen jogged through the door a
moment later, a big smile stretched over her face. "Where's
Shane?"

"Living room," Will replied. The sounds of
one of the many kid shows he was becoming familiar with blaring
from the TV's speakers. Shane's giggles made Will's breath catch.
The sound had been far too absent lately.

Will watched his mom disappear into the
living room, where more giggling ensued as his mom talked. Both
kids loved her, and Will felt another surge of gratitude for her
help. She had gone above and beyond.

While Will watched his mom help Shane into a
coat and boots he was struck by how at ease she was with the boy.
She was a natural having raised three boys of her own, but now in
the surrogate grandma role, she excelled.

"Mom? Thanks." Will felt his throat tighten
as unfamiliar emotions flooded him.

Karen caught his eye and shook her head.
"It's my pleasure and my privilege to be with these wonderful
children."

Despite the well of sadness that made his
chest feel about to burst, a smile tugged at the corners of his
mouth. The gratitude he felt toward her at that moment made him
want to thank her again, but everything came to a crashing halt as
his dad appeared at the door. Will went rigid, his shoulders
stiffened as he turned back to cleaning up lunch.