A Family to Be (Saddle Falls) (5 page)

“But—”

“But nothing, Josh,” she said, unable to contain her annoyance any longer. She was going on sheer nerves and adrenaline right now, and she wasn’t up to having Josh or anyone else scrutinize or judge her actions. She was doing the best she could under difficult circumstances, and for now, it would simply have to be enough. “I fully intend to run the diner, and have my baby—at the same time, Josh, whether you or anyone else like it, or approve of it or not!”

L
ike most small towns, Saddle Falls had a rhythm and pattern to life, a predictability that provided a sense of security and stability. Everyone in town knew that at precisely 9:00 a.m. every weekday Matthew Able would check his pocket watch before unlocking the double doors to the one and only Saddle Falls bank. Virginia Wilson, the longtime town librarian, would follow suit, waiting until she saw Mr. Abel’s Open sign before unlocking the doors to the town library. Perry’s Grocery would open for business shortly thereafter, while Mr. Benedetto’s fruit stand would be nearly empty by nine, having opened shortly after six so that busy wives and mothers would be able to purchase fruits and vegetables needed for that day’s breakfast and lunches.

The Saddle Falls Diner, which sat opposite the movie theatre, and nearly kitty-corner from the hotel, was open five days a week from 5:00 a.m. until 3 p.m., serving home-cooked breakfasts and lunches. Each day there was a soup of the day and a luncheon special, as well as a rash of homemade pies and cakes using Em’s late mother’s recipes.

Within a week of returning to town, news had spread that Emma Bowen was back home, pregnant but apparently minus one husband, running the diner and causing an increase in business, as it seemed everyone in town wanted to stop by to say hello.

If the scandal she’d caused when she ran off to get married six years before was still on people’s minds, they politely didn’t mention it. Instead, they preferred to express their sorrow at the loss of her father who’d been such an important part of the town.

After her first full week home, Em almost felt as if she hadn’t left. She’d quickly fallen into the routine of the diner, thrilled at having something productive to do with herself and her time, knowing full well that each day that passed was more secure for herself and her child.

Every day Josh stopped in for breakfast and lunch, and never failed to use the opportunity to try to talk some sense into her, to at least listen to his offers for the diner and the house, but she refused. Her mind was made up.

This morning as she bustled around the busy diner, helping her father’s longtime waitress-manager Agnes handle the early-morning breakfast rush, Josh trailed along behind her like a shadow.

“Be reasonable, Em,” Josh said, dogging her steps. “You can’t honestly think you can continue to handle working here, Em. I mean look at this place.” Em grinned in pleasure as he glanced around. “It’s mobbed,” Josh complained.

“Yes, I know,” she said, still grinning. “And hopefully it will stay that way,” she said, sidestepping around Josh to grab a fresh white apron from a stack behind the counter.

“But, Em you’re
pregnant,
” he reminded her again, putting a great deal more emphasis on the word than necessary, and garnering the attention of several customers in nearby booths.

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious, Josh,” Em said, as she tied her apron on and then rounded the counter and grabbed a full pot of decaf coffee to start refilling cups. “But I’m well aware of my condition.” She hesitated, realizing he was still trailing after her. “Josh, will you do something for me?”

“Anything, Em,” he said in relief, hoping she was finally going to be reasonable as he sidestepped over Ernie’s damp mop as the maintenance man swabbed the diner floor, dampening numerous sets of toes along the way. “Anything at all.”

“Go home,” she said firmly.

“Em,” he said in exasperation, throwing up his hands.

“I’m serious, Joshua.” Trying to ignore him, she stopped to refill the mayor’s cup, giving him a warm smile.

“How you doing there, Emma girl?” the mayor asked, lifting his cup in salute. “Heard you were home. It’s good to have you back.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Real good.”

She grinned. “It’s good to be home, Mayor.” She moved to the next booth to check the breakfast setups for the monthly meeting of the Saddle Falls Quilting Club with Josh hot on her heels. “Go home, Josh,” she repeated through gritted teeth, flashing a smile to Kay Beckett, president of the quilting club who’d already arrived. “Or to work. Go somewhere…anywhere.” Turning to him, she closed her eyes and prayed for patience. “And please stop following me and bothering me. I’ve got work to do.”

“That’s the whole point, Em. You shouldn’t be working.”

“Don’t start, Joshua Ryan, please don’t start this.” Em turned to look at him over her shoulder. “Trust me, I am not in the mood for this again this morning.”

“What are you in the mood for, Em?” he teased, trying to get her to lighten up and realizing he was on dangerous ground with her. “And speaking of food, did you even eat this morning?”

Not bothering to answer him, she merely gave him a scathing look, then continued on with her duties. He continued to sidestep next to her, talking all the while.

“Em, I’m just trying to be practical here. Maybe get you to look at a couple of other options.”

“Josh, believe me, there are no other options.”

“Yes, there are, Em. If you sold the diner you could invest the money and at least stay home until the baby’s born.”

“True,” she admitted as she continued moving down the line of booths refilling coffee cups. “But then what do I do when the money from the sale of the diner runs out, Josh?” One brow rose in question as she turned to stare at him, waiting for an answer, coffeepot midair. “How do I support myself and my child, then?”

That gave him pause and Josh stood there for a moment, realizing she had a point. While the diner was a profitable business, the sale wouldn’t bring in enough money to hold her for more than a couple of years—at best.

“That’s what I thought,” she said with a nod, moving again.

“Em, but think about this,” he said, coming up behind her as she swung through the door that led to the kitchen. “If you continue to run the diner, you’ll be on your feet for hours each day, lugging heavy trays of food, walking across slippery floors. What if you fall?” he challenged, darting around Ernie who’d begun swabbing the floor right between them.

“What if the sky falls?” she asked, knowing that anything he said was futile. She’d heard every argument he could come up with the past week and had rejected them all. She would do whatever was necessary to secure the future for her child.

Weary of his advice, yet touched beyond measure by his concern, Em leaned against the stainless steel food preparation table then crossed her arms across her breasts. She had to admit Josh had shown more caring and concern for her in the past week than Jack had in the past six years.

But then again she’d always known Josh was a special man. A man of character, confidence and absolutely total integrity. Three qualities Jack couldn’t hope to spell, let alone exhibit.

“Josh, listen to me.” Em turned to him, trying to hang on to her temper. She laid her hands to his wide chest, surprised at the strength she found there. “I appreciate your concern.” She had to tilt her head up to meet his gaze. “Truly I do, but I have to deal with reality here and I can’t base my actions on speculation or on something that
might
happen. I could fall walking in the house,” she said with a careless shrug. “Or trip over a carpet. Or fall down the porch stairs.” She moved around him to the large commercial refrigerator to pull out the necessary ingredients to make salads for the afternoon’s lunch rush, carefully setting them on the stainless steel table. “Or I could trip over your shoes,” she pointed out, glancing up at him in time to see his smile. “There are no guarantees in life, Josh.” And no one knew that better than she. “None. So I’m going to do the best I can to secure my baby’s future and mine.” She shrugged, reaching around him for the large set of wooden salad bowls stacked up so she could fill them as she chopped lettuce and vegetables.

Going to the refrigerator again, she pulled out the large wooden tray that held numerous heads of lettuce waiting to be readied for salads.

All right, so she had a point, Josh realized with a hint of annoyance, wondering when Em had decided to get so practical. But he had to admit, even if he didn’t quite approve of what she planned to do, he had to admire her for it, wondering why Melanie hadn’t fought so fiercely to protect
his
child. His admiration for Em was growing by leaps and bounds.

“Em,” he said in a tone of voice that immediately told her he was not totally impressed with her reasoning. “Do you really realize how serious this situation is?” His worried gaze met hers. Those eyes, Em thought with a sigh, always had the ability to make her feel as if he could see right through her.

She glanced away, afraid he might see the fear that she held deep in her heart, a fear she couldn’t and wouldn’t admit to him or anyone else. Pride alone prevented it.

“Em?”

She whirled back to face him, her temper simmering, her eyes blazing. “You don’t think I’m taking this seriously?” She slammed the tray holding the heads of lettuce onto the metal prep table, sending the lettuce bouncing in the air like yo-yos before storming up to Josh, poking a finger in his broad chest.

“Let me tell you something, Joshua Ryan.” Eyes blazing, she stood on tiptoe to meet his gaze. “I’ve never taken anything
more
seriously in my life. I would never ever do anything to jeopardize my baby. Do you understand that? Nothing. This baby means more to me than anything in the entire world.” Unconsciously, she pressed a protective hand to her belly. “If for one moment I thought what I was doing would harm my baby, then I’d stop. Immediately. But I’m not hurting my child, Josh. What I’m doing is trying to secure her future. And mine. To provide her with the kind of home, life and family, the kind of love and attention and affection I never had.” Her voice hitched, humiliating her, and Em averted her gaze, not wanting him to see her tears, or know about the months of vicious emotional upheaval she’d just been through simply because she understood
fully
the seriousness of her situation.

And it scared her to death.

“Oh, Em, come here.” Feeling guilty, Josh reached for her, pulling her trembling body into his arms. She was so close, the warmth of their bodies mingled. He could feel her slender body trembling against him and he wanted to swear again.

Take care of herself, indeed, he thought with a scowl, tightening his arms around her. Even with her pregnancy, he couldn’t believe how thin and frail she was.

She’d always been so stubborn and proud, and she’d always tried to be so brave, but he knew her well enough to see beyond the facade she put on for the rest of the world. She was terrified right now, and was loathe to admit it to anyone, wanting to put up a brave, strong front. But he knew her better.

Josh frowned suddenly, aware that something was distracting him. That heavenly scent of hers—something sweet and smelling slightly of vanilla—was teasing his senses again, making him want to hold her tight in his arms forever and protect her from anything that might hurt her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his breath tickling her ear as he brushed her hair back from her face as if she were still a wayward twelve-year-old. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just trying to be helpful.”

The soft, honeyed tone of his voice shimmied over her, causing a warmth to unroll in her stomach. Pressed against him, encircled in his arms and the comfort of his warmth, her pulse kicked up, annoying her.

“Josh,” she said, wiping her eyes and pulling back to look at him, a little off balance by her reaction to him. “Do you think you might try to be a little less helpful?” she asked, making him laugh.

Sniveling, she took the handkerchief he offered, then wiped her nose and her eyes, trying to figure out what the heck was going on, more rattled by her response to him than anything else.

This was Josh, her dearest friend, she shouldn’t be responding to him like this. It totally unnerved her.

“Em, what am I going to do with you?” he asked softly, pressing his head against hers.

“Well, for starters you can stop following me around before I trip over
your
feet,” she said, making him laugh again. “As far as I can tell that’s the only real hazard around here right now.”

“You want me to leave, is that it?” he asked, knowing this battle was lost. At least for the moment. That didn’t mean he intended to give up the fight. And knowing her as well as he did only fueled his determination to do whatever was necessary to make things easier for her. He might not have been able to help or do anything to protect his own defenseless, unborn child, but he sure could do something to protect Em’s.

Whether she liked it or not!

“Yep,” she confirmed. “The sooner the better.” She glanced at the prep table filled with lettuce and vegetables that needed chopping. “I’ve got things to do and I’d prefer to do them without carrying on a running argument with you.”

“Okay,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll go for now. But I’ll be back,” he said with a grin as he headed toward the swinging door. “For lunch.”

“Thanks for the warning, Josh,” Em said with a laugh. “I’ll be sure to put down all the heavy equipment before then,” she teased.

“How about a pizza from Angelo’s tonight?” he called over his shoulder.

“Angelo’s?” Her temper dashed, her interest perked up and she almost swooned. She hadn’t had a pizza from Angelo’s in almost six years. The thought of it now almost made her salivate. “Deal,” she returned with a smile, watching as Josh sailed out the front door, satisfied one problem was solved.

At least for the moment.

By the noon lunch hour rush, Em was certain almost everyone in town had come into the diner, demanding to be fed—immediately. She was grateful for all the days in her youth she’d worked in the diner. Once the lunch rush was over she was pretty much home free since the diner closed at three in the afternoon and didn’t reopen until five the next morning.

“Hey, Em, can you come out here?” Aggie’s voice filtered through the door separating the diner from the kitchen where she was still working chopping vegetables.