A Great Unrecorded History: A New Life of E. M. Forster (59 page)

96
“was not my own road”:
EMF, Diary, Jan. 16, 1908, KCC.

98
Working over the typescript:
EMF, Diary, May 1, 1908, KCC.

98
“I opened Walt Whitman”:
EMF, Diary, June 16, 1908, KCC.

98
“dissipate this entire show”:
Whitman, “In Paths Untrodden,” in
Leaves of Grass
(1872 edition), 142. This edition, the first to include the Calamus poems in this form, was likely shown to Forster by Edward Carpenter, who was given his edition by Whitman himself.

98
“no more fighting”:
EMF, Diary, June 16, 1908, KCC.

98
“Passage to India!”:
Whitman, “Passage to India,” in
Leaves of Grass
, ll. 31–36.

98
“[i]dea for another novel”:
EMF, Diary, June 26, 1908, KCC.

99
Morgan balanced two families:
Forster,
Howards End
, 25, 21.

99
“the spiritual cleavage”:
EMF, Diary, June 26, 1908, KCC.

99
“they desired that public life”:
Forster,
Howards End
, 25.

100
“Your home at All Souls Place”:
EMF to GLD, March 17, 1931, KCC; quoted in “Introduction” to
Howards End
, ix.

100
“to trust people is”:
EMF, Diary, Feb. 10, 1909, KCC.

100
“a continual bubble”:
Dewey,
Anglo-Indian Attitudes
, 141.

101
“[H]e left me, normal”:
EMF, Diary, July 13, 1909, KCC.

101
“The more I think of it”:
EMF to Darling, July 16, 1909, HRC.

101
Even as he sought:
Ibid.

101
“I feel that I cannot feel”:
EMF, Diary, n.d., August 1909, KCC.

102
“Going home, he wrote a letter”:
EMF, Diary, April 25, 1911, KCC.

102
“disgraced the college and himself”:
Forster,
Arctic Summer and Other Fiction
, 189, 191.

102
Was going to reflect sadly:
EMF, Locked Diary, Nov. 29, 1909, KCC.

102
Just before Christmas:
Forster, “Notes on the English Character,” in
Abinger Harvest and England’s Pleasant Land
, 5.

102
“Will [his love] ever be complete?”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Dec. 31, 1909, KCC.

102
Back in London:
EMF, Locked Diary, Jan. 13, 1910, KCC.

103
“From Forster, member of the Ruling Race”:
EMF to Masood, Jan. 14, 1910, KCC; Lago and Furbank, eds.,
Selected Letters
, I:102.

103
“o love, each time”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Dec. 31, 1909, KCC.

103
His yearning for Masood:
EMF, Locked Diary, Jan. 29, 1910, KCC.

103
“After lunch in the Savile”:
EMF, Locked Diary, July 28, 1910, KCC.

103
“However gross my desires”:
EMF, Locked Diary, July 21, 1910, KCC.

103
“joyful but inconclusive evening[s]”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Jan. 15, 1910, KCC.

103
The crisis came:
EMF, Locked Diary, Dec. 29, 1910, KCC.

104
“in an awful stew”:
EMF to Masood, Jan. 2, 1911, in Kidwai,
Forster-Masood Letters
, 62.

104
“Non respondit”
:
EMF, Locked Diary, Dec. 31, 1910, KCC.

104
“you devil!”:
EMF to Masood, Jan. 2, 1911, in Kidwai,
Forster-Masood Letters
, 62.

104
“book to my own heart”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Aug. 3, 1910, KCC.

104
“
Howards End
[is] my best”:
Gardner, ed.,
Commonplace Book
, 203.

104
“There is no doubt about it”: Daily Telegraph
, Nov. 2, 1910, in Gardner,
Critical Heritage
, 130.

104
“one of the handful”: Athenaeum
, Dec. 3, 1910, in Gardner,
Critical Heritage
, 151.

104
“I go about saying”:
EMF to GLD, Nov. 21, 1910, KCC.

105
“I am not vain”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Dec. 8, 1910, KCC.

105
“is evidently deeply shocked”:
EMF, Locked Diary, June 16, 1911, KCC.

105
“main causes of my sterility”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Sept. 19, 1910, KCC.

105
“sorrow has altered her”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Dec. 31, 1911, KCC.

105
“trivial and effeminate”:
EMF, Locked Diary, July 17, 1911, KCC.

105
“just like his father”:
Furbank,
E. M. Forster
, I:218.

105
“feared to tell mother”:
EMF, Locked Diary, July 26, 1911, KCC.

105
“Satanic fit of rage”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Oct. 31, 1911, KCC.

106
“mother does not think highly of me”:
EMF, Locked Diary, May 15, 1912, KCC; quoted in Furbank,
E. M. Forster
, I:218.

106
“a bright healthy young man”:
EMF to FB, Dec. 24, 1911, KCC.

106
“I say! Your son”:
Interview with Mollie Barger, London, July 24, 2001.

106
“a honeymoon slightly off colour”:
Gardner, ed.,
Commonplace Book
, 217; EMF, Locked Diary, Dec. 31, 1911, KCC.

106
“is a photograph of us”:
Gardner, ed.,
Commonplace Book
, 217.

106
“ ‘Out of the way brother’ ”:
EMF to ACF, Jan. 15, 1913, KCC.

107
a “[v]ery great happiness”:
EMF, Locked Diary, Sept. 9, 1912, KCC.

107
“Here smut postcard”:
EMF, Indian Diary, Oct. 11, 1912, in
The Hill of Devi
, 120.

107
“a little nip of frost”:
Forster,
Goldsworthy Lowes Dickinson
, 113.

107
“argued about the shape”:
Ibid., 117.

107
“evanescent . . . shooting out little glints”:
Ibid., 113.

107
“It’s not a star”:
EMF, Indian Diary, Oct. 21, 1912, in
The Hill of Devi
, 125.

107
“very intimate with the natives”:
EMF to FB, n.d., Oct. 1912, KCC. This letter was posted from S.S.
City of Birmingham
“off Perim.”

107
“perpetually in love”:
Proctor, ed.,
The Autobiography of Goldsworthy Lowes Dickinson
, 178; EMF, Indian Diary, Oct. 15, 1912, in
The Hill of Devi
, 122.

107
Morgan spent hours with him:
EMF, Indian Diary, Oct. 15, 1912, in
The Hill of Devi
, 122.

108
“spread . . . out over the plain”:
EMF, Indian Diary, Oct. 25, 1912, in
The Hill of Devi
, 128.

108
“superb in his uniform”:
Proctor, ed.,
The Autobiography of Goldsworthy Lowes Dickinson
, 178.

108
“fitted indifferently into official circles”:
Forster,
The Hill of Devi
, 26.

108
“unconventional, ardent, fearless”:
Ibid.

108
“The Darlings are ideal”:
EMF to ACF, Feb. 26, 1913, KCC; quoted in
The Hill of Devi
, 182.

109
“I didn’t go there to govern”:
Forster, “Three Countries,” in
The Hill of Devi
, 296.

109
“in a sort of starved omnibus”:
Forster,
The Hill of Devi
, 131.

109
“I came out with no feeling”:
EMF, Indian Diary, Nov. 17, 1912, in
The Hill of Devi
, 145.

109
“a cultivated man”:
EMF, Indian Diary, Jan. 4, 1913, in
The Hill of Devi
, 172.

109
“so kind, but whatever”:
EMF to FB, Jan. 14, 1913, KCC.

109
“winced with horror”:
Forster,
Goldsworthy Lowes Dickinson
, 115.

110
“the oddest corner of the world”:
EMF to ACF, Dec. 16, 1912, KCC; Malcolm Darling to EMF, May 1907, quoted in
The Hill of Devi
, 17.

110
“
a waistcoat”:
Forster,
The Hill of Devi
, 8.

110
“brown tennis-ball”:
Ibid., 9.

110
At Chhatarpur, Goldie noted:
Proctor, ed.,
The Autobiography of Goldsworthy Lowes Dickinson
, 180.

110
“not even a little flirt”:
Forster,
The Hill of Devi
, 226, 223.

111
“he who might be slipping away”:
EMF, Indian Diary, Nov. 18, 1912, KCC.

111
“Long and sad day”:
EMF, Indian Diary, Jan. 13, 1913, KCC.

111
Perhaps because of this:
EMF, Indian Diary, Nov. 18, 1912; March 14, 1913; Jan. 1913; March 14, 1913; March 25, 1913.

111
“I am dried up”:
EMF to Forrest Reid, Feb. 2, 1913, KCC.

112
“It’s an awful pity”:
EMF to Masood, April 11, 1913, Lago and Furbank, eds.,
Selected Letters
, I:201. This letter is not included in the published Forster-Masood letters, ed. Kidwai.

112
a “radiant moment”:
EMF, “Mother,” 1945, KCC.

112
“modern life had absorbed”:
Dent, “Angel Wings,” in Beith, ed.,
Edward Carpenter
, 26–27.

112
Carpenter was approaching seventy:
Edward Carpenter,
My Days and Dreams
, 147.

113
“We’re
all
in heaven
here”
:
Ibid., 163.

113
For his part, Carpenter:
Ibid.

113
“escap[ing] from culture by”:
Forster, “Some Memories,” in Beith, ed.,
Edward Carpenter
, 74–75.

113
“candor about sex”:
Ibid., 75.

113
“a creative spring”:
Forster, “Notes on
Maurice
,” in
Maurice
, 215.

114
“A happy ending was imperative”:
Ibid., 216.

114
“unhappily, with a lad dangling”:
Ibid.

114
“I was determined”:
Ibid.

114
“I tried to create”:
Ibid., 209.