A Home for Haley (13 page)

“I always behave for Miss Haley,”
Kayla shouted from the backseat.

Ethan arched a questioning brow at
Haley. “Pretty much that’s true.” Haley grabbed Kayla’s foot when she kicked
the back of her dad’s seat. “You’re not behaving so great now, though, are
you?”

Kayla pulled her foot away and
shrugged. “I want McDonald’s.”

“We don’t always get what we want,”
Haley said gently, thinking that was the understatement of the century. “But this
is fun going to lunch with your dad.” She was surprised at the truth in her
words. “Just think, Kayla, all I would have made was peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches when we got back to the house.”

“That’s a pretty decent homemade
meal at my house.” Ethan winked at her and she smiled at him, feeling more of
her anger shift and release. The man had a way of making her feel better. She
hated to admit that, even to herself, but it was the truth.

“I think you’re exaggerating. Your
mother already told me you grill out the best steak in the world. And don’t forget
I ate your eggs a few weeks ago.”

“Mom made all of us learn to cook.
I hated her for it. The guys used to make fun of Matt and me.”

“Oh, you poor thing.”

Ethan laughed. “More like poor
other guys. Both Matt and I tended to be hot heads. We were always in trouble
at school. And then caught you-know-what at home.”

“Grandma spanked you?” Kayla asked
from the backseat.

“Many times. Be glad spanking is no
longer an acceptable form of discipline.” Ethan glanced at Haley. “You have any
good stories to tell about getting in trouble?”

She shook her head. “I was the
perfect kid.” Truth be told, she was too scared of her father to barely talk,
let alone talk
back
.

“I could almost believe that,
except no kid is perfect.”

Haley fiddled with her wedding band.
“My father was very strict,” she said softly, staring at her hands. “I didn’t
dare misbehave.”

Silence filled the truck before
Ethan finally spoke. “I’m sorry. That pretty much sucks.” He reached over and
squeezed her hand. Without thinking, she turned it over and squeezed back, then
smiled at him before pulling free. She shifted in her seat and stared out the
window, at a loss for words. Ethan made her feel safe and protected. It was a
nice feeling. A comfortable and warm feeling. Much better than the hot anger
that had consumed her for weeks, but a feeling she wasn’t quite sure how to
react to. She’d never been very comfortable with men, but she was with Ethan
and had been almost from the beginning. That is until he’d gone behind her back
to find out about Dale. Since then, she hadn’t felt much of anything toward
Ethan but anger.

She drew in a deep breath and
looked at him. He glanced at her and she gave him a tentative smile. “You’re
one of the nicest men I’ve ever known,” she managed to say without her voice
cracking. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you lately.”

“You’ve had a lot to deal with.
Still do. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

She swallowed hard. “There you go
being nice,” she somehow managed to get out of her throat, which was thick with
emotion.

He shrugged. “I can be a bear. Ask
anyone. Guess you bring out the nice in me.” He turned into Arby’s parking lot.
“You kids hungry?”

Haley let out a sigh of relief. The
man even knew when to change the subject. He could probably tell she was about
to cry. She wondered what her life would have been like if she’d had a father
like Ethan, a father who actually took time to be there for his children and
support them. She shoved her door open and stepped out, more than glad for a
diversion. She opened the back door of the truck, helped Ryan out of his car
seat and held his hand as he pulled her over to Kayla and Ethan.

When her son took Ethan’s
outstretched hand, Haley couldn’t help but remember how warm and comforting Ethan’s
hand had felt just a few minutes ago. And strong. It amazed her that this man
could be so strong, so utterly masculine, and yet also gentle. She’d never been
around anyone quite like him—certainly not her father. Not even Dale if she
were being honest. He’d been strong but there had been times when his
impatience had made her feel inadequate and not quite good enough. She sucked
in a quick breath. She’d all but forgotten about that until right now—maybe
because he’d been gone so much—but she still felt like a traitor to her husband’s
memory.

Ethan held the door to Arby’s open and
shot her a dazzling smile. Trying to shove thoughts of Dale out of her mind,
she returned Ethan’s smile, determined to put Dale out of her mind for a few
minutes and enjoy the spontaneous outing Ethan had provided.

****

Ethan headed toward the kitchen,
his bare feet making no sound as he walked across the wooden floors in the
middle of the night. He couldn’t sleep and he was hungry. For what he couldn’t
say. Chocolate might work.

He turned the corner and headed
into the kitchen, then stopped dead in his tracks. Haley stood in front of the
open refrigerator door, her silhouette backlit by the refrigerator light. His
mouth went dry.

He cleared his throat and she
whirled around, grabbing the edges of her light blue summer robe and pulling it
closed. “You scared me half to death.”

“Sorry about that. I thought I was
the only one prowling around in the middle of the night.” He started toward the
refrigerator and she stepped aside. “Anything good in here?” he asked.

“I haven’t had much chance to
look.”

He edged by her and stuck his head
practically in the refrigerator. “Left over chicken casserole sounds decent.
Not as good as chocolate though.”

“If you want chocolate, I made some
brownies earlier.”

He straightened and arched his
brows. “Yum.”

She turned bright red. He hadn’t
meant his remark that way, but he had a hard time holding back a grin. She
fumbled with the buttons of her gown, her gaze sweeping over him. Only then did
Ethan remember he only had boxers on. Well, dang, it was his house and it was
the middle of the night. “Where are they?” he asked far too gruffly.

“In the bread box. I’ll get you
one.”

“I’ll get it.” Ethan strode past
her and opened the box, pulled out two brownies and set them on a paper towel.
“How about you?”

“Just one for me, and I’ll get it.”
Lord but she was hard-headed.
She took a brownie and sat at the table.

He followed her, wishing he could
still see through her gown. Okay, he definitely had to quit thinking about that
or he’d embarrass himself. “So why are you awake? I thought you were taking
sleeping pills.”

“I’m trying to wean off of them.”

“Guess it’s not working so well,
huh?”

“Obviously not. I suppose I should
have taken a half of one. That’s why I hate taking the darn things to begin
with. I don’t want to get addicted to them. And why are
you
prowling around
in the middle of the night?”

“Too much on my mind I guess. I
have a lot to get done before we head to California in a few days. By the way,
I booked a townhouse for us. Figured the kids would like that. You’ve got your
own room with a private bath and hot tub. Plus a door that goes out to the
pool. I’ll check the lock on it when we get there, but if you’d feel safer, you
can have one of the upstairs bedrooms.”

“Aren’t you Mr. Thoughtful.” She
took a bite of brownie and gave a contented sigh. “You’re not only thoughtful
but protective. It’s nice,” she added softly. “Are you always protective?”

He stared at her, wondering about
that. “Not always,” he finally answered.
Mostly with people he cared about
.
“Mom tried to make sure Matt and I weren’t always hoodlums, and part of that
training was respect for women.”

“She did a good job. From what I saw
of your brother, he’s a good man, too.”

Ethan choked on his brownie. “Too?”
he muttered around a mouth full of chewy, moist brownie.

“Definitely.” She glanced at her
empty paper towel, folded it up into thirds before finally looking back at him.
“I’m getting over my anger with you, because I believe your heart was in the
right place.” She folded the paper towel again. “But I still think you should
have asked me before looking into Dale’s disappearance.”

He made himself maintain eye
contact with her even though he was uncomfortable. “You’re right. I probably
should have done that.” He picked up his second brownie. “I watched Aunt Jo put
her life on hold, even knowing my uncle was gone. It was difficult to see. I
figured you didn’t have a chance in hell of mourning and moving on until you
knew what had happened to your husband.”

Haley averted her gaze. “You might
be right,” she muttered. There was a long silence before she spoke again. “Your
aunt is great. I’m sorry she lost her husband. She and your mom have had some
rough times.”

Ethan nodded. “For sure.”

“How did Dottie handle your father’s
death?”

He set down his half-eaten brownie
and cleared his throat. “We all took it pretty hard. Can’t say I paid a whole
lot of attention to Mom for a while, except to realize she cried all the time.
We kids were grieving, too.”

Francie reached across the table
and touched his hand. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“My dad was good to us while he was
alive. At least we have great memories,” he added around a tight throat.

She pulled her hand away. “Yes. You
do have that. My father is still alive, but as for good memories . . .” Her
voice trailed off. “Mom blames it on the war. I’m not so sure that’s the real
problem.” Her eyes teared, and she scooted back from the table.

“Please stay,” he said before he
could stop himself. “You don’t have to talk about your dad. Or Dale. I know it’s
painful.”

Her blue eyes stayed on him for a
long time. Finally she scooted back up to the table. He waited for her to say
something but she kept silent. He wished she’d open up to him, let him help her
in some way.

“I’m really glad you and Ryan are
going to Disneyland with us, Haley. It’ll be a great time. If I know Ashley,
she’s got some terrific places in mind for us to visit besides Disneyland.
Although I’m told you could spend days there.”

“I’ve heard that, too. We’ll both
be exhausted long before the kids are. Or at least I will,” she added with a
slight smile.

“Don’t think for a minute that
Kayla can’t run circles around me. I swear I’ve aged five years for every year
of her life.”

“You don’t look in your mid-fifties.”

“I think the Richardson smart-ass
attitude is having a bad effect on you.” Haley smiled and it pleased him. “I’ve
missed visiting with you, Haley. I’m going to be plum worn out tomorrow, but
this is worth it.”

This time her smile shone brighter.
“It’s nice we’re talking. I haven’t felt much like visiting with you lately.
Guess I’ve been too mad.”

“And now?” he asked, holding his
breath as he waited for her answer.

“Now I’ve run out of steam. I’m
tired of being angry. Tired of hurting.” She let out a weary sigh. “But I still
think you overstepped your boundaries.”

“It seemed to me that not knowing
would be the worst thing possible for you. If I was wrong, I apologize.”

She picked up her neatly folded
paper towel and shredded it. “I don’t know how it could have been worse than
this.”

“Maybe not worse, but it very well
might have been your whole life instead of a season. I wish you could see that.”

She shoved to her feet. “Did it
ever occur to you I don’t want to see that. I don’t want to face my entire life
without Dale. Without a daddy for Ryan. I don’t want to face any of this, but
what you did gave me no choice.”

She balled her hands into fists at
her side. “Why can’t you understand my point of view? You know what it’s like
to lose someone you love.”

He stood and tossed his paper towel
into the trash. “You’re right I do. I did what I thought was best for you.”

Her shoulders sagged. “And now I’m staring
at the ugly truth, and I resent it. A lot. And I have a helluva long way to go
before moving on.”

He stepped over to her and tried to
rest his hands on her shoulders, but she shoved him away. “You cannot make me
feel better. I’m going to bed. Like you said, we’ll be exhausted tomorrow.” She
turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen.

“That went well,” Ethan muttered,
trying to tamp down his anger and hurt. Her bitter words had sliced right
through him, making his own anger boil. That woman could push his buttons like
no one else. Maybe he
should
have kept his nose out of this. Not forced
an issue that really wasn’t his business. But, dammit, he cared about her and he’d
wanted to help. When was he going to learn that caring mucked up everything? No
wonder his mom and Aunt Jo had never remarried. Life was a whole lot simpler
without all the emotional turmoil that came with caring. He, of all people,
should know that.

He grabbed a glass out of the
cabinet, filled it with milk, and drank it. Tomorrow, he’d head out to the dude
ranch by himself, toss back a few beers with Hank, ride like a bat out of hell,
and hopefully clear his head. Maybe he’d even go over to the new house and help
the construction workers, put some muscle into something and work off steam.
Yeah, that definitely sounded like a plan.

He left the kitchen and started up
the stairs, counting the hours until he was out on his land and thinking
straight again.

Haley checked on a sleeping Ryan
and then headed downstairs, carrying the baby monitor with her. What she really
wanted to do was crawl back into bed, but she was Kayla’s nanny, and she was
sure the little girl was already up and at ’em.

She hoped Ethan wasn’t too upset
with about last night. She’d been so distraught at her outburst, that she
hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after their conversation. It still
bothered her that their talk had ended on such a sour note, and she supposed it
was her fault. She didn’t know what it would take for her to totally forgive
Ethan for meddling in her life.

She pulled in a few calming breaths
and walked into the kitchen. Aunt Jo stood at the stove making bacon and eggs,
and Dottie and Kayla sat at the table. Ethan wasn’t there and she wondered
where he was. Maybe he was sleeping in like she wished she were doing.

“Morning Haley. Where’s that cute
little boy of yours?” Dottie asked with a grin.

“Still sleeping, lucky guy.” Haley
smiled at Dottie then set the baby monitor on the kitchen counter, pulled open
the refrigerator, grabbed a pitcher of orange juice, and poured herself a
glass.

“Go sit, Jo. I can finish this.”

Jo waved her away with the spatula.
“I heard you didn’t sleep well last night. Ethan said he found you in the
kitchen when he came down to prowl.” Jo arched her eyebrows in an invitation
for Haley to talk, but she ignored it. “Anyway,” Jo continued, “he looked a tad
rough this morning. Took off for the dude ranch about an hour ago. Said he’d be
back in a couple of days.”

“I wanted to go with him,” Kayla
said with a pout. “It’s boring here.”

“Gee thanks,” everyone said in
unison, making Haley smile.

“You only have a few days to
stumble through Kayla, and then we’re off to Disneyland.” Haley patted Kayla on
the back and sat beside her. “Think how exciting that will be. Now put a smile
on your face, kiddo.”

“I second that.” Dottie picked up
her coffee mug and took a sip of the still-steaming liquid. “Your father never
got to go to Disneyland when he was a child. Consider yourself lucky.”

Kayla scowled at her grandmother. “But
I wanted to go with him this morning.”

“Everyone deserves some time alone.
Now zip it.” Dottie shot her granddaughter a warning look, and Kayla ducked her
head and started back in on her scrambled eggs.

Haley did the same, barely tasting
her food. She felt sure that her outburst last night had something to do with
Ethan leaving. She held in a sigh. They had started out so well, and then she’d
gone and opened her mouth, spilling the anger that she couldn’t seem to totally
shake. And now, even though a part of her was glad Ethan was gone and she
didn’t have to face him, another part of her wished he were here. And that
irritated her to no end. She should be glad he was gone. She needed time away
from him to process last night’s conversation. She imagined he needed the same.
She should have kept her mouth shut. It wasn’t like her to be insensitive and
hurt someone. And she knew she had hurt Ethan by the look that had crossed his
face after her outburst.

She forced her thoughts back to all
she had to do to get ready for their trip to California, but knowing that Ethan
was upset enough with her to leave before breakfast, had her stomach in knots. How
would they handle a trip with the children if there was this much tension, but
how could she smooth things over when a part of her couldn’t seem to forgive
him for overstepping his boundaries?

“Do you have physical therapy
today, Dottie?” she asked, hoping to force her thoughts in another direction.

Dottie nodded. “I’m down to only
three times a week though, but I still have to be on that blasted machine for
what feels like the entire day. I might lose my mind before I’m done with that.”

“Only a few more days before you
can quit the machine,” Aunt Jo reminded her. “Besides, you’ve made great progress.
Now you only cuss during therapy instead of crying. I count that as progress,
don’t you?” Aunt Jo winked at Haley.

Kayla jumped up from the table and
ran over to her grandma, hugging her around the neck. “I don’t want you to
hurt, Grandma.”

Dottie hugged her back. “That makes
two of us, but I won’t hurt much longer, and I’ll be so much better than before
the surgery.” She rolled her eyes at Jo. “I’d better be.”

Haley took her last bite of
breakfast, drank the rest of her orange juice and stood, gathering her plate
and glass. “I’m ordering you to leave this to me, Jo.”

A cry came over the baby monitor.
“Oops. Ryan’s awake. Don’t touch a thing. I’ll take care of it when I get back.”

Kayla took her grandmother’s hand.”
Come play Chutes and Ladders with me.”

Smiling, Dottie grabbed her cane
and stood. “Wanna race?”

Kayla shook her head. “You’d lose.”

“I’ll race you.” Aunt Jo took off
down the hall, Kayla right behind her.

Haley stopped beside Dottie. “Need
anything before I go get Ryan?”

Dottie shook her head. “You go on.
I’m fine. But if you hear a big thud, it’s me hitting the floor so hurry back
down.”

“Will do.” Smiling, Haley went
upstairs, taking them two at a time. Within a few minutes, she had Ryan in a
dry diaper and clothes. She carried him downstairs, plopped him in his high
chair and tossed some Cheerios onto his tray. “That should keep you busy until
I get your eggs made.” She poured some milk in his Tommy Tippy cup and set it
beside him, then got to work scrambling some eggs.

She’d just put his eggs on his tray
when Jo returned.

“I thought you were playing Chutes
and Ladders with Dottie and Kayla.”

“One loss is enough for me.
Besides, I have a feeling you need to talk.”

“I’m fine,” Haley insisted,
grabbing dirty dishes and shoving them into the dishwasher.

After pouring herself a cup of
coffee, Jo sat at the kitchen table. “Stop that nonsense and come sit with me.
I have something I want to tell you.”

Haley glanced at Jo, who cupped her
mug of coffee with both hands and watched her. Haley shut the door to the
dishwasher, picked up a rag and walked over to Ryan, who had shoved most of his
eggs onto the floor and was doing his best to get the tray off. “Me want down.”

She wiped his hands and face, set
the tray aside and lifted him to the floor. He raced out of the kitchen
yelling, “KayKay, KayKay.”

“He’s pretty perky for this early.”
Aunt Jo smiled and patted the seat beside her.

Warily, Haley sat. What in the
world did this woman want to tell her? Surely Ethan hadn’t said something to
her about their argument last night. Haley’s face heated at the thought.

Jo patted her arm. “You’ve seemed
better lately, so what has you uptight this morning?”

“Some days I’m better. Some days
not.”

“That’s how it goes, honey.” Jo
eyed her again. “Living without the one you love is hard. The emptiness and
missing him can drive you crazy if you let it.”

Haley’s throat clogged with
emotion, and she could barely swallow her sip of coffee.

“When my husband passed, I wasn’t
sure I even wanted to live.” Jo shook her head, tears in her eyes. “Then I discovered
that Ethan had overheard everything when the government officials told me my
husband had been killed in action.” Jo wiped her eyes. “I totally fell apart
and poor little Ethan saw me.” She blinked hard and fought for control. “He was
heartbroken because he didn’t feel like he’d taken care of me, but he was only
a boy. Just a little boy a few years older than Kayla.” Jo grabbed a napkin off
the table and wiped her eyes. “Ethan thought he was taking care of you, Haley,
by preventing you from getting the news the way I did. I know you were terribly
angry with him, but you seem to be getting over that. Or at least I thought you
were until I saw Ethan this morning. It was obvious he was upset. I don’t know
what it’s about, but I feel the need to give you some insight into my nephew.
He’s very protective. Always has been, and I’m sure a lot of that has to do
with what he witnessed with me when I found out about—about my sweet Wally. I
totally fell apart. Ethan held my hand and kept telling me he loved me, trying
his best to keep me together until Dottie could get here.”

Haley covered her mouth with shaky
fingers, her heart aching for Jo and the little boy who’d had to deal with his
aunt’s grief.  “Ethan was very brave, wasn’t he?” she murmured.

“Very brave and very scared. He
spent a lot of time with me from the day he was born. And then even more time with
me after Wally died. Thank God I finally got it together and realized I wasn’t
being fair to that boy. That’s when I started living again, getting out with
friends.” She gave Haley a watery smile. “Ethan will probably tell you I’ve
never really started living again, but I have. Just not the way he thinks I
should. You have a lot to live for, Haley. I’m proud of how well you’re taking
care of Ryan and setting an example of how life goes on.”

Haley couldn’t keep her tears in.
“I’m trying,” she managed to say.

“Yes you are. And I think the trip
to Disneyland will be good for you. Get your mind off of your loss for a while.
In fact, I’m betting you have a grand time there.”

“I hope you’re right. Unfortunately,
I am still mad at Ethan. I thought I was better, but we visited last night, and
he said something that made me realized how far I still had to go.” Haley
grasped Jo’s hand. “Knowing what I now know will help me. Thank you for telling
me.”

Jo nodded. “Let Ethan be your
friend, Haley. He wants what’s best for you, so try to forgive him if he
overstepped his boundaries. I think he saw himself in a position to really help
you in a way he couldn’t help me.”

Haley was too overcome with emotion
to speak. She wished Ethan were here. “I owe him an apology, but I promise I
won’t tell him that I know about him taking care of you. I’ll let him tell me
sometime if he wants to do that.”

Jo nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
Patting Haley’s hand, she stood. “Thank you for listening to an old lady you
barely know. You’re a blessing to this family and don’t you ever forget that.”

****

 “I see the ocean!” Kayla
exclaimed, pointing out the plane’s window and grinning from ear to ear.

Ryan scrambled from Haley’s lap onto
Ethan’s. He pressed his face against the tiny window. “See it?” Ethan pointed
toward the mass of water and Ryan grinned.

“Swim?”

“Absolutely. We are going to do
lots of fun things out here in California. You kids will love Disneyland, but
you’ll also love all the other stuff we get to do.”

Haley motioned a grinning Ryan back
to her lap and buckled them in, her own excitement growing. She’d been so busy
these last few days getting ready, she hadn’t had much time to think about
Dale, let alone cry. Plus the kids’ excitement was definitely contagious. She
was only sorry Chloe had gotten sick and couldn’t come with them. Kayla would
have loved having her here, but Ethan promised they’d take another trip with
Chloe.

“We’re getting closer.” Kayla
high-fived her dad, a huge smile on her face. “The first thing I want to do is
see
Frozen
and meet Anna and Elsa and Olaf. Do you think they will
sing?”

“Of course they will.” Haley loved
the music from
Frozen
, especially the songs, “Reindeer Are Better Than
People” and “In the Summer.” She was as excited as Kayla to see the
Frozen
exhibit,
but everything about this trip had her pumped. She hoped Ryan was old enough to
remember some of it, because she knew he would love Disneyland, especially the
Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage. Her heart raced as the plane’s wheels touched
down, bounced once and then rolled for what felt like an eternity before
finally turning and coming to a halt at the gate.

The minute the stewardess gave the
okay, Kayla jerked her seatbelt off and stood. Haley unfastened her and Ryan’s
belt.

 “How about you keep Kayla
corralled and let me hold this little guy?” Ethan asked, reaching out to Ryan.

“Deal.” Haley grinned, almost
feeling like a kid herself. It was a great feeling. Ever since Jo had given her
some insight into why Ethan had felt compelled to be the one who told her about
Dale, the tight band of anger Haley felt toward Ethan had eased, making her more
light-hearted than she’d felt in several years. And now the look on her little
boy’s face had her feeling almost jubilant.

By the time they’d rented a car and
were heading toward the townhouse, Ryan had fallen asleep. Haley’s nerves, on
the other hand, were sizzling like cold water in a hot frying pan. She knew she
had a bedroom and bath to herself, but she still felt edgy about the sleeping
arrangements. Surely that would go away once she saw the layout of the
townhouse. She and Ethan had been on much friendlier terms these last few days,
but she still had apprehension about them living in close quarters for a week.
At home, there was enough room to spread out and not be bumping into one
another at every turn, but here, she wasn’t sure about.

“Ryan’s probably getting his second
wind,” Ethan said. “Think we should wake him?”

Haley shook her head. “He’s been
awake all day. A short nap is just what he needs to get through the evening.”

Ethan glanced at the sleeping boy.
“You’re probably right. I figure by the time we get checked into our townhouse,
we’ll all be starving. After we eat, how about a walk on the beach to collect shells
and then back to the townhouse early, so we can get a good night’s sleep and be
rested in the morning?”

“Sounds good to me.” Haley craned
her neck to see everything as they turned off the expressway. “I can’t believe
I grew up in California and never got to see Disneyland.”