A Home for Haley (22 page)

“The rose becomes you.” He crooked
a finger at her and she glided across the room, stopped beside him and set the
rose on the end table with a shaky hand. Excitement built as all her woman
parts tightened with need.

He took her hand and pulled her on
top of him. “God, I’m glad you came. I’m about to go mad with wanting you.”

She tugged the sheet back. “Oh my.”
With a grin, she straddled him and kissed that sexy mouth of his with a hunger
that soaked through every inch of her. After a few minutes, she pulled back and
whispered, “I’m a sucker for roses.”

He flipped her onto her back. “And
I’m a sucker for you.”

He parted her legs, ran a finger
over her womanhood and she arched up, need consuming her. “Don’t make me wait,
Ethan. I want you too much.”

He dipped a finger in her, arched his
brows. “I guess you do.” He raised himself over her, stared into her eyes and
drove into her, filling her completely. He pulled back and she whimpered. He
drove in again.

“Don’t. Stop.”

He pulled almost out, thrust in
again, and she thought she might explode with need. She squeezed his butt and
strained against him.

“Slow down, darlin’, or I won’t
last another second.”

“Fine with me,” she managed to say
in between pants.

He pinned her arms over her head.
“Not me. I want this to last. God knows when I’ll get you in here again.”

She squirmed beneath him and he
groaned. “Now, Ethan.”

He covered her mouth with his,
devoured her even as she strained against him. He fought like hell to keep
control of himself. She nipped his lip and he rolled over, pulling her on top
of him.

“You don’t play fair,” she said
with a pout.

He chuckled and palmed her full
breasts. “Let’s talk about who doesn’t play fair.”

Smiling, she raised her hips and
took him in. “And you said you didn’t like to ride,” he teased as he grabbed
her around her hips and quit fighting her. Within minutes she flew over the top
with him right behind her.

When their breathing had slowed,
Ethan started to ease her off him, but she sprawled onto his chest. “Not yet,”
she said, snuggling in.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed
her neck, tasted her salty sweetness. “Give me fifteen minutes and we’ll do
this again, take it a tad slower.”

She ran a finger down the middle of
his chest. “I liked it that way. I couldn’t have gone slow tonight.”

She raised her head and he smiled
down at her. “Maybe we can break two records tonight. One for speed. One for
slow,” he said as he rolled over, pinning her to the bed.

She stroked her palms down his
back, her hands warm and tender. When she reached his butt and squeezed, Ethan
groaned. “Fine. Maybe we’ll forgo the slow record tonight.”

Laughing, Haley pulled him down for
a kiss that seared clear through him. When they came up for air, he rested his
forehead on hers and tried to catch his breath.

Ryan’s cry came over the monitor
and he groaned. Haley scrambled out from under him, hurried across the room and
grabbed her gown from the floor, slipping it on over her head.  Turning, she
strode back to the bed and picked up her rose. “Can’t forget this,” she said in
a sultry voice.

He grabbed her hand. “Marry me and
I’ll get you roses every day.”

She stilled and her mood went
somber.

Ethan could have kicked himself for
the slip. “Come on, hon, I didn’t mean anything by it, but we’re so damn good
together, it’s hard not to think about.”

She pulled her hand free. “Yes,
we’re good. Amazingly good,” she added. “That doesn’t mean you have to bring up
marriage. I told you I wasn’t ready for that.”

Her jaw tighten. “My feelings are
strong for you, Haley. I’m sorry it slipped out. Don’t act like it was a
proposal.”

She arched her brows. “I’m well
aware of what it was. Subtle pressure. You know I’m not ready to talk about
marriage, Ethan.”

Talk? He hadn’t brought up a
damn discussion.
Running both hands through his hair, he said, “Go take
care of Ryan.”

She hurried out of the room without
even a backward glance.

“Well that ended just swell,” he
muttered as he sat up and leaned against the bed frame. “Guess the ‘M’ word is
banned in this house.” Anger and frustration boiled through him like hot lava.
He’d only been teasing her. She didn’t have to act like he’d broken some sacred
law. Okay, if he were being totally honest he had only been partially teasing,
but saying the M-word shouldn’t be a federal offense. He scooted back down on
his bed.

Wrong thing to do. The scent of
their love making wafted over him, engulfing him so quickly he couldn’t help
but close his eyes and let the fresh memories steal through him.

Groaning, he opened his eyes and stared
at the ceiling, trying to figure out how to fix this, but all he could think
about was how much he wanted Haley to be his wife. And how much she wanted
everything to stay like it was. He got why she felt that way, but right now his
feelings had taken a beating and he didn’t want to be rationale. He wanted to
be married to the woman he loved. And he wanted her to want to be married to
him.

And the biggest problem with all
this was that he wasn’t sure if he could keep his deep feelings for Haley hidden
much longer, especially when all it took to offend her was letting the word
marriage slip out of his mouth.

After getting Ryan back asleep,
Haley filled a glass with water, put her rose in it and lay down on the bed,
fighting tears. Before Ethan had mentioned marriage, their lovemaking tonight had
been the most incredible experience she’d ever had. All her inhibitions had
gone out the window, and she’d felt gloriously alive and even more gloriously
wicked. What in the world had possessed him to bring up marriage? The pressure
she’d felt when she’d heard that word come out of his mouth had been
suffocating, and she’d been glad to have a reason to get away from him.

She tried to get her run-away
feelings under control, but it was a losing battle. She and Ethan had talked
about this only a few days ago and she’d thought he’d understood her feelings
and reasons for not wanting to discuss marriage. Obviously she’d been wrong. Or
maybe he thought he could slowly wear her down. But why would he do that and
risk what they had, especially after assuring her that he understood. She’d
believed him, but right now she didn’t know what to think. Maybe she was
over-reacting. After all, this was a sensitive subject for her. Obviously Ethan
hadn’t realized just how sensitive, even though she’d been pretty adamant about
her stance.

She scooted out of bed and walked
to the window, pulled the curtain back and stared at the night sky. Confusion
pulled at her, making her insides clench and her head feel foggy. It’s not that
she didn’t care for Ethan. In fact, she cared way more than she had any right
to care. She’d buried her husband only months ago, and now she was having wild
sex with Ethan. She should be ashamed, not turned on every time she thought
about the man.

She let the curtain fall back
across the window and squeezed her eyes shut. She
was
ashamed. Terribly
ashamed. And yet she couldn’t stay away from the man. Seeing him day in and day
out, watching how patient and loving he was with the kids, made her desire him
with an intensity that almost scared her, and yet she still wanted—make that
needed—to wait on marriage.

Maybe she’d look at apartments
sometime soon. It’s not like she didn’t have the money to get her own place.
She’d put the $100,000 check from the government in savings bonds for Ryan’s
college, and she was drawing Dale’s pension.

Thank God she had enough money to take
care of herself and her son, because if things didn’t work out with Ethan, she
couldn’t live in his house. The thought of leaving made her insides tremble,
but she needed to be practical. Marriage was simply not in the cards for her
anytime in the near future, and she resented Ethan putting pressure on her,
even if it had been kind of flirty.

She sank back onto the bed and
wrapped her arms around her waist, rocking back and forth, not able to shake
her disappointment that Ethan hadn’t respected her boundaries. Maybe she should
check out apartments tomorrow. That way, if things got too tense here, she would
have a head start finding her own place.

The more that she thought about
that, the more she felt that finding her own apartment might be a good idea all
the way around. She could still be Kayla’s nanny even if she had her own place.
It would put a strain on her and Ethan’s relationship, but if it was meant to
work out, then it would. Besides, Kayla would be in school this fall, so there
was really no reason for Ethan to have a live-in nanny at that point.

She wondered if he’d realized that.

Ethan could easily cut her hours
down to part-time once Kayla started school. Anxiety snaked through her. She should
definitely check out apartments. Nothing wrong with looking, and she would feel
better once she knew what Nashville had to offer in the way of housing for a
woman on a budget, because no way was she touching Dale’s death benefit money.

She scooted down on the bed and pulled
the sheet over her. Tomorrow she would find out what apartments cost so she’d know
specifics about her options.

****

Ethan took a deep breath and
knocked on Haley’s bedroom door, hoping he didn’t wake Ryan. He wanted to clear
the air between them before he saw her downstairs with the kids.

The door opened and she stood there,
a cotton robe wrapped around her, a drawn and tired look on her face. Guilt and
frustration punched him in the gut. “Can I come in?” he asked, hating that it
was so tense between them that he felt the need to ask permission to come into
her room.

She nodded and stepped back but
didn’t say anything. She closed the door behind him. Ethan wanted to take her
in his arms and make this all go away, but she was as stiff as a board, so he
didn’t dare.

He ran a hand through his
still-damp hair. “I was awake most of the night thinking about what I said,
wondering how things went sour so fast.”

Her lips thinned. He reached for
her but she side stepped him, went to the bed and eased herself down on it, her
arms crossed over her waist. He squatted down in front of her and took her
hands, which were ice cold, and rubbed them briskly. “I wasn’t intentionally
putting pressure on you, but my feelings run deep and it slipped out because I really
want us to be a family.” She started to interrupt him but he silenced her with
a finger on her lips. “I know you don’t want to talk about marriage, but I’m
not holding back on how I feel anymore. I love you, Haley. Can you at least
accept that?”

She held his gaze but didn’t
respond. He dropped her hands and stood, feeling as if she’d just sucker-punched
him. She clasped her hands together and stared down in her lap. “I care very
deeply for you, but I can’t say those words yet.” She shot him a quick glance.
“It’s too soon.”

“In other words, you want to have mind-blowing
sex, but that’s it.”

She flinched. “I want us to be
friends and get to know each other better. If I didn’t like you—a lot—I
wouldn’t have sex with you. I would think you’d know that about me, so we
obviously don’t know one another that well.”

“I know you well enough to know I
love you. How long do you think you’ll need to know if you love me?” he asked
anger and hurt dictating what he said instead of his usual composed self.

“I don’t know. I care for you,
Ethan. I care a lot, but I’ve only been a widow a few months. We talked about
this, and I thought you understood.”

“I thought I did too, but last
night we’d just had the best sex of my life, and I was feeling pretty damn good
and wanting you to know how important you were to me.”

She reached for his hand. “You are
important to me, too, but I’ve come to realize that it takes a long time to
really get to know someone. Dale and I dated two years before getting married
and even after a two-year courtship, I didn’t know him all that well.” She
shrugged, “Or maybe I just didn’t want to see some things. I’m not sure, but
what I am sure about is that right now I’m trying to come to terms with losing
Dale. I don’t need to be sorting things out with you too. I want your
friendship, and I want to be with you like last night. Please give me time to
wrap my mind around all this.”

He wanted to press her for some
kind of a time-frame, but managed to clamp down on that impulse. Instead, he
ran a finger down her jaw, over her lower lip. “I’ll try and be patient.”

She nodded. “Thank you. I needed to
hear that.”

He dropped his hand. He wouldn’t
mind hearing a little encouragement, but it looked like that wasn’t in the cards.
“See you downstairs,” he said and headed out of the room before he let his
frustration get the better of him and said something he might regret.

****

Haley marked the last thing off her
to-do list for Kayla’s party and smiled. Dropping her head forward, she rubbed
the back of her tight neck, wondering what was in the refrigerator that she
could snack on before heading upstairs for a bath and early bed. It had been a
long busy week, and tomorrow would be a long, busy day, but she was certain
Kayla would be thrilled. She hoped Ethan would be pleased with all the work she’d
put into this birthday party. Knowing she wanted Ethan’s praise, caused her
mood to dip. The man had been cordial to her this week, but nothing else, and
that stung more than she cared to admit. She wished it didn’t.

Last night after both kids had gone
to bed, Ethan had brought a glass of tea to her on the deck and stretched out
on the chaise beside her with a sigh.

Tension had coiled inside her, and
she hadn’t been sure if it was from worry about how he felt or from wanting him
so badly. It had quickly become obvious that he was only being friendly in an
effort to ease the tension they’d been dancing around all week.

Disappointment had speared through
her, but she’d managed to keep her feelings hidden. At least she hoped she had.
The last thing she wanted was for Ethan to think she was pining away for him.
She’d told him where she stood on marriage, and she’d meant it, so pining for
this man was beyond ridiculous.

She shoved out of her chair, went
to the refrigerator, and pulled open the door. Taking out an apple, she washed it
and cut it into quarters, then took a bite and stared out the kitchen window.

A warm hand settled on her shoulder,
startling her.

“Hey,” Ethan said. “You’ve worked
like a Trojan all week. What are you doing still up?”

She swallowed her bite of apple and
then had to swallow again to get it to go down the rest of the way. “Just
having a bedtime snack,” she answered without turning around.

He took her by the shoulders and
turned her, and she felt the heat from his broad chest. She pulled in a deep
breath of his scent, and her knees all but buckled. Oh how she wanted to bury
her face in his chest, feel his warmth, soak in his comfort.

She stepped back and her hips hit
the counter’s edge. He scowled. “You really want away from me that bad?”

“No,” she whispered. That was the
last thing she wanted. She
should
stay away from him, though, until they
both had time to get things settled in their minds, because she couldn’t think
straight when he touched her. Hell, she could barely think at all, let alone
think straight.

He wrapped his strong arms around
her and pulled her against him, stroking the back of her head and then kneading
her shoulders. “Kayla will be thrilled with the party you’ve planned for her. I
talked with Mom earlier and she’s got the cake done. Ashley’s plane comes in
late tomorrow morning, and Matt is picking her up. Looks like we’re about ready
to roll.”

In spite of her best intention to
keep her distance, Haley snuggled closer, his solid warmth and gentle touch soothing
her frayed nerves. How could that be when he was the one who’d set her nerves
off? She should move away from him but she couldn’t. “How’s Kayla coping with
her mother not coming?” she muttered into his chest.

“Okay right now. Once the party is
over and we’re back home, it might be a different story.” He leaned back and
hooked a finger under her chin, tilting her head up. “Thank you,” he said right
before claiming her mind and body with a sizzling kiss. A kiss that melted
every muscle in her. She heard herself moan. He deepened the kiss, and there
was no way she could refuse him. Or herself. She’d been on edge all week, but
hadn’t realized just how bad it had been until now as tension flowed out of her
like warm honey.

“Be with me tonight,” he said,
nuzzling her neck. “We’ll set the alarm for early and the kids will never
know.”

Yearning tugged at her, spread
through her like a balm, and she took his hand and led him out of the kitchen,
up the stairs and into her room, where she tugged his shirt off and lost
herself in making love to a man who made her melt with only a look and stole
all rationale thought from her.

****

Ethan whistled as he loaded the car
with everything they needed for Kayla’s big bash. And a big bash it was. He’d
certainly never had a birthday party this spectacular, but Kayla was
over-the-moon with excitement, and he was so grateful that Haley had done this
for his daughter.

The woman was one of a kind, that’s
for sure. She had taken him to her bed last night, made sweet, sensual love to
him and then fallen into a deep sleep. He’d held her through most of the night,
cherishing his time with her and praying it lasted.

He’d kept his distance from her all
week in an effort to curb his need to be with her, and he’d been miserable.
He’d do everything in his power to keep her happy, even if that meant tamping
down his own needs and wants until she caught up with him. Marriage could wait.
His feelings for her could not.

With that thought in mind, he
headed back into the house for the last load of supplies before loading
everyone up in the SUV and heading to the dude ranch.

Thirty minutes later he pulled in
front of the house. His brother’s truck was already there, so that meant Ashley
was here. He grinned like a kid as he turned off the ignition. Getting out of
the car, he began unloading the mountain of party supplies and gifts. Kayla
clamored out, Maggie right at her heals. Haley lifted a squirming Ryan from his
car seat and he raced after Kayla and a yipping Maggie, his short legs churning
in an effort to catch up.

Matt came out of the house and
headed toward them. “About time you showed up,” he said, clapping Ethan on the
back and winking at Haley. “Here, give me something to carry.” Ethan handed him
an armload and Matt made a face. “Good Lord. I hate to think what her wedding’s
going to be like someday.”

“You’re one to talk,” Ethan joked. “Elisa’s
only six months and already queen of the house.”

“You got that right,” Matt responded
with a grin. “Hank’s getting the horses saddled. What’s this I hear about
camping out?”