A Jade's Trick (Lilly Black's Jaded Series Book 1) (13 page)

The last thing I remember is falling asleep in Cain's arms, but now I find myself in the home where I grew up in Louisiana.  The house is old with weathered wooden planks, worn carpets, and peeling wall paper that was once the height of style when the house was built a hundred years ago.  In the upstairs hallway, only soft moonlight shines through the window at the far end, making it look less shabby as I rush down the long, wide corridor, turning all of the knobs, seeking a place to hide.  Finally, I find an unlocked door and peek inside.  It's my bedroom.  I see myself with Cain, but we're not sleeping.  I forget why I was running, mesmerized by the sight of his beautiful body as he fucks me.  He's on top with my legs wrapped around him as shadows from the moon outside the window make the flexing of his muscles more pronounced and seductive.  I want to be under him there, feeling his cock inside me, but even the dream version of myself is damaged.  She tells him that it will never work, and as I watch her roll over onto her side and weep, I become her.  Cain is gone, and in the mirror on the wall opposite the bed, I see that I am not myself as I am today but as I was when I last lived in this house.  My whole body becomes heavy, as if I am bound to the bed by magnetic force, and I begin to cry in deep, mournful sobs.

I hate you, Mother!  You knew!  You knew!  You knew! 
As the words repeat in my head, time passes rapidly until I have grown into my present self.  I stretch out on the bed on my back, and the dream becomes like nothing I have ever dreamed before.

I'm levitating like a magician's assistant over his trick table, but I don't feel the strings.  It's disorienting, and I see nothing but darkness all around me.  I hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, but I realize, like a jolt of electricity, that I feel something - something intense, all-encompassing, something
numinous
.  Nothing is touching me anywhere but my clit, where a wet, silken tongue is making delicate, concentrated circles that gradually increase in frequency and pressure...

...and suddenly I'm awake, aware of Cain's hands on my thighs, pushing my legs apart, but before my conscious mind can interfere, I feel myself pushed over the edge...over
that
edge...and I'm falling...

"Fuck!  Oh, my God!  Fuuuuuuuuck!"  I'm not just crying out.  I'm screaming, and I don't care.  Nothing matters but Cain and the orgasm that seems to last forever as I writhe against his face, and he gives as much as I can take, not stopping until I squirm away, giggling ecstatically.  It makes him laugh, too.

"Good morning," he says, moving to lie beside me.

"Oh my God, Cain!" I throw my arms around him, my eyes beginning to well with tears.

"No, baby, don't cry," he says, wiping a tear away with his finger.

"It's not...it's just...oh, my God, Cain!"  What I can't give voice, I say with a sweet kiss that quickly grows into a passionate need to feel him inside me.  Throwing a leg over him, I roll him onto his back and straddle him, carefully sliding myself onto his beautiful, granite-like cock.  It hurts more than it did last night, but I don't care because I want everything he has to give me, pleasure and pain.

I lean toward him this time, and as he guides me with his hands on my waist, I shift, trying to find the right angle.  His cock awakens every nerve ending in its path, but the sensation feels more like the satisfaction of scratching an itch compared to what he does with his tongue.

"Please don't stop," I beg when he freezes, holding me in place just when I think he's on the brink, his cock twitching inside me when I say, "I want to feel you come." 

"Keep talking like that, and you'll make me whether I want to or not."

"Good, so shut up, and let me make you come."

"You shut up, and let me make
you
come," he says.

"I already did," I say. 
The neighbors can attest to that!
  "Besides, I still feel too...sensitive." 

"That shouldn't affect..."  Cain stops mid-sentence and laughs softly, then he rolls us over and kisses my forehead.

"Sweet, innocent girl," he whispers, "they are two entirely different things." He reaches down between my legs and touches me lightly and carefully with the palm of his hand over my clit, and when he moves his hand away and gives me a thrust of his cock, I think I understand.

"Come here."  Cain pulls me to the side of the bed, sliding my ass off the edge and putting my legs on his shoulders.  When he starts fucking me again, I can feel him deeper in this position, and I let my legs slide down his arms and wrap around him, pulling him into me as I focus on what I feel on the inside.  I arch my back, and though I can't pinpoint exactly where it is, he's hitting something new.  I feel it promising, growing, taking me over.

"Harder!" I demand, digging my heels into the back of his legs as he begins crashing into me wildly with his hands clutching me behind the knees, pulling me so hard I feel the half moons of his fingernails cutting into my flesh.

"Oh, Cain, fuck!" I moan.  "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."  I hear myself chanting it over and over as I teeter on the edge of a cliff, holding my breath until I'm abruptly cast down into the abyss, screaming as virgin nerve endings are besieged by powerful, foreign pleasures, my entire body vibrating as Cain thrusts deep and slow.  I feel myself clenching inside in a strange rhythm, tightening around him in shockwaves as I grind myself against him until he finally lets go, exploding inside me, his cock throbbing as he cries my name, twisting my flesh in his hands, and if not for his hold on me, I feel like I would collapse as if I had no bones, no form, no substance.

And I have no words...

It's late Tuesday morning when I wake again, and Cain is still beside me.  I know he should be at work, but he's sleeping so peacefully I don't want to disturb him.  My head remains entirely in the clouds, and though I feel so much closer to him and so far away from my original fears, I have a whole new set now.

"Good morning," I hear Cain say softly as his eyes open just a slit.

"Good morning," I say, a sudden permagrin on my face as all else is instantly forgotten.

"What time is it?" he asks.

"Almost eleven," I say.  "I'm sorry.  I've let you oversleep."

"Do you think I had any intention of leaving this bed for work this morning?"  He always knows just what I need to hear.  "I'm not sure I want to leave it at all today."

"Unfortunately, I have to be at work at 6:00."

"Don't go," Cain says.

"I have to, but I'm off tomorrow."

"Call in sick."

"You know I can't.  Dave depends on me, and I still have to save for grad school."

"How much more do you need?"

"I'm not taking your money, Cain," I say, rolling my eyes at him.

"Evan, it's not about money.  I work mornings, you work nights.  I don't get to see you nearly enough.  If you quit Prometheus and let me take care of you, we won't have to wait until you're in grad school to have our schedules synced."

"I'll probably take night classes, you know."

"Not if I find a way to fill them all before you register."

"You couldn't!" 

"Try me."  We laugh, and though he lets it go for now, there's something else nagging at me.  I need to know why he woke me the way he did this morning.  I didn't mind it.  In fact, I can't imagine a better way to wake, but it worries me.  It's not the first time I've been awakened by unsolicited sexual attention, and I'm afraid of how my body may have reacted. 
Did I tighten every muscle into near rigor mortis, and if so, would he recognize it as a sign of my past abuses?
  I'm terrified of Cain knowing what happened to me.  It wasn't my fault, but my mother allowed it to happen.  My room was right above hers.  Surely, she heard the creaking floorboards when he would come to my bedroom at night, yet she did nothing.  That is the stock I come from.

"Cain," I begin warily, "when you woke me up...you know..." 

"Yes," he says, smiling.

"Did..."  I freeze.  I don't know how to ask him. 
Did you have to pry my legs apart?  Did I say anything curious?  Did you feel my scars?  Oh, God, I didn't even think about my scars!

"I didn't do anything I didn't do last night," Cain assures me, "and though normally I prefer women awake and fully responsive, I wanted to show you that you don't need me to be forceful to make you come.  Waking you like that kept you from over thinking it."

"That's true," I admit with a bashful smile, and I realize my body knew the difference.

"And I
love
going down on you, Evan," he adds.  "I love the way you taste, the way you scream when you come..."  He trails off, biting at my neck, and before long, I'm screaming again.

I see Cain off to work, and about ten minutes later, Nicole comes home still wearing her work uniform from last night.  It didn't cross my mind once that she could have been here listening to Cain and I despite the fact that last night's rain should have caused Prometheus to close early.  Now that I see her, rather than bursting at the seams to tell her about last night - and this morning - I'm suddenly seething as I remember how I felt when I found out that she told Cain my secret.

So much for the afterglow!

"What made you think it was okay for you to tell Cain?" I demand.

"Oh, God," she complains, but as she rolls her eyes, I stare her down until she accepts that I will not be letting this go.  "Someone needed to." 

"It was not your decision!" 

"You know what, Evan?  Hate me if you want, but I am sick of watching you push everyone away!"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Nicole."

"I know better than anyone.  I've watched you sabotage yourself for six years, but I was not going to let you fuck things up with Cain because you're scared!" 

"I am, but it's not what you think.  You don't know everything!" I shout.

"Then what is it this time?"  She attacks, growing more aggressive with each word.  "Is it because he's rich?  Is he too good looking?  Too perfect?  What is it, Evan, huh?  What are you so fucking afraid of?"

"I'm falling in love with him!"  The words fly out, and I freeze, taking in a loud gulp of air and covering my mouth with my hand as if I could suck them back up and trap them inside.  A bittersweet smile marks Nicole's face, and she comes toward me, putting her arms around me as I begin to cry.  I can't believe I said that out loud, and now it's only a matter of time before fate punishes me for having the audacity to think that I might actually deserve love.

As Nicole holds me like a mother, I have to fight against the urge to pull away.  To her, this is natural.  Her family was always hugging each other, but my mother was cold.  The affection I received in her house came from an unwelcome source, and though I yearn for the contact, even now Nicole's hugs are uncomfortable for me because having someone hold me without a sexual motive seems foreign.

"I won't be pushing him away anymore," I finally say, sniffling and embarrassed for letting this weakness show.

"Are you officially dating now?" she asks, and though part of me wants to gush and tell her how amazing Cain is in bed, I decide to keep the secret all mine for a little longer.

"Something like that," I say.  "So where have you been all night?" 

"The bar got rained out, so Syndi and I went out drinking.  I crashed at her place," she says.  "In fact, I've been in these clothes almost 24 hours.  I really need a shower.  You okay?"

"Yeah," I say, and she gets up to leave the room.

"Hey Ev," she calls back as she stands in the doorway, "I just want you to know I've never told anyone before, and I'll never do it again.  I promise."