A Jade's Trick (Lilly Black's Jaded Series Book 1) (10 page)

Cain showers, then I lounge on the bed watching him as he puts on his suit, pleased when I notice that he has hung several other suits in my closet. As soon as I hear the front door close behind him, I drift back off asleep.  When I wake again, I immediately regret not going with him. I know I would have been uncomfortable as hell, but I realize I've just sent him off, a walking hard-on apparently, to a black tie affair in a city on the other side of the country where rich, beautiful women will be dressed in sexy gowns and falling all over themselves to get his attention.  I'm probably going to torment myself until he gets back.

Are you in Boston yet?
I text.

Still on the plane.

Sorry I didn't come with you.

So am I.

I hope you aren't suffering too much,
I type, trying to subtly trick him into saying what I need to hear.

It's okay.  There will be plenty of women there tonight.

Are you fucking with me?
  I demand, feeling my heart suddenly thrust into my throat.

Of course, I'm fucking with you, Evan.  I haven't been with another woman since the night we met.
 

*Since* the night we met? 

Yes.

So y
ou hooked up with someone the night we met? 

Not exactly. 
I call him.

"Ice Queen," he says when he answers.

"Explain yourself."

"I had a girlfriend when I met you."

"You had a girlfriend, but you were coming on to me?" I demand, disturbed and flattered as my defenses hiss: 
If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.

"I broke it off because I already knew I wasn't hers anymore," Cain says.

"But you slept with her first?" 

"We were in the same bed."

"Would you please stop using semantics against me?  We both know what you're getting at."

"If we both know, then why are we still talking about this?" he asks, pleased with himself.

"Cain!" I snap. 

"Alright, but remember, you insisted.  If I have to cancel my meetings and fly back home early again because you can't handle what I am about to tell you, I will spank the fuck out of you when I get there." he warns me.

"Understood," I say.

"When I got home from Prometheus the night we met, she was waiting for me."

"So she lived with you?"

"No, she just showed up, and..." 

"She just showed up and?" I demand.

"And I fucked her," Cain admits, nonchalantly.  I knew it was coming, but I still feel a sharp pang of jealousy when he says it.  It's not like that first girl he spanked five years ago.  This happened less than two weeks ago.  He reads my mind.

"Evan, you have no right to be pissed about it.  You were such a bitch to me, you're lucky I ever spoke to you again," he says, and I laugh.  He's right.

"Then saying you broke up with her for me no longer counts," I say, trying to make a joke of it, but it only provokes him.

"Would it help if you knew that I was thinking of you the whole time?"

"Oh, my God!  No!" 

Is he really so arrogant that he can't see how fucked up that sounds?  Is this some sort of BDSM head game?

"You wanted to know," he says, dismissively.

"Only because it was obvious that you were hiding something."

"It is up to my discretion whether or not I omit part of the truth regarding women I've fucked in the past when I think it will unnecessarily upset you," he says and I burst into shocked laughter.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Do you forget our arrangement, my friend?" he asks, and though he's pissed, his tone doesn't show his temper as he speaks low and precise.  "I have every right to go out tonight and fuck anyone I like, little girl.  What I'm telling you is that I don't want to fuck anyone else." 

"And I'm telling you that if you operate like that, I'm not even sure I could stand to be your friend, and I damn sure can't be your sex slave," I hiss at him, angry even as hearing him say he doesn't want to fuck anyone else makes me happy.  "I couldn't imagine being that poor woman you slept with Sunday night and dumped Monday morning."

"I would never do that to you, Evan."

"I'll bet you told her that, too," I snipe.

"She and I had our own arrangement."

"And that arrangement said you could drop her cold at any moment because you think you might want to fuck somebody else?" 

"Our arrangement was what it needed to be because I don't make promises I know I can't keep, however when it comes to you, against my better judgment
and
my will, I find myself promising things I never thought I could promise anyone." 

"So you are making promises you can't keep?" 

"No, but you're missing the point."

"And what is the point?"

"The night we met, you acted as if you would prefer a slow, painful death over spending one more second in my presence," he says, and it makes me smile.  "I knew you were going to be a challenge, and since I already had someone to fuck, I had intended to keep her around while I explored the possibilities with you."  And that's when my smile fades into astonishment.

"Jesus, Cain!" 

"But..." he says emphatically, "I've learned that I'd rather wait for you than be with any other woman when you're all I can think about."  I just sit there on the other end of the line, stunned.  He's awful!  How could he think it's okay to use her like that, and what's wrong with me that it's turning me on? 

"I'll wait for you as long as it takes, Evan," he says.

"I'll test your patience," I warn, my smile beginning to show itself again.

"You already do." 

I work the afternoon shift on Saturday, and when I get home from work, I find an envelope from Cain on my nightstand.  Wondering when he put it there, I open it to find his clean bill of health.  Soon, we'll be crossing that line, and though I'm scared as hell to risk losing him, I feel like he could be the one.  I think about lying next to him, what his hard cock felt like against my leg when I woke up in his arms, and I wonder what it will be like to touch him, to kiss him, to fuck him.  It sets me ablaze.

Feeling guilty, I look around the room, and with my door closed and the shades down, it's only me and the darkness.  Warily, I let one hand slide downward just to see what it feels like.  It feels good, so I take it further, slipping my hand inside my panties to find myself wet.  I never get wet.

It's all Cain, and I fixate on him as I allow my fingers to slide over me, following the pleasure as the target seems to move around, waxing and waning, trying to elude me.  My muscles clench as my lower body flushes with hot blood, and all I can hear is my own breathing as I grow weak with need.  I try more pressure, moving my fingers in fast circles, but suddenly, it starts to fade like it always does.  I fight it, thinking about Cain, how he looks at me like he wants to devour me, how it felt to have his hard cock rubbing against me at Envy...

It doesn't help.

As the pleasure slips beyond my grasp, my desperate mind flashes back to the chat room suggestion, but I refuse to sell my soul.  I burst into tears, feeling more violated than ever.  I'm fighting to overcome more than the effects of the abuse.  I have to overcome what I did to myself.  When my body betrayed me that first time by responding to the unwelcome touch, I was so ashamed that I forced myself to suppress the pleasure until I felt completely numb, and here I am a decade later, still numb.

Lost in my private hell, I go to the sink, washing my hands so vigorously as I try to scrub away the guilt that it takes a moment to register when the doorbell starts to ring.  I go to the door to find a courier with a small cardboard box.  I sign for it, and breaking the tape with my thumbnail, inside I find a handwritten note:

Evan,

Give me the key, and you and all your secrets will be mine.

Cain

I remove the packing material to find a large heart shaped lock with a key.  I've seen these on the XP website.  They're designed for chastity belts, and I realize exactly what Cain is saying.  This key will give him consent to claim me.  I'm not ready yet, but on the heels of being ravaged by the ghosts of my past, I'm not bothered that this lock is meant to represent his dominion over me.  I feel strangely comforted by it.  Soon, I'll give him back this key because I already  am his, and I don't feel sad at all anymore.

Time for work quickly comes and slowly goes, and finally around 3:00 am, just after I've showered and put on the blue silk pajama shirt Cain left here, my cell rings.  It's him.  On the west coast I'm just now going to bed, and on the east, he's already getting up for the day.  He asks me if I am off tomorrow because he wants to take me somewhere, but I think he already knows the answer.  I was supposed to work, then for some mysterious reason, Dave asked if I wanted the day off.  I wish Cain would let me deal with my boss, but I guess it's something I'll just have to learn to accept about him because his need to be in control seems as deeply ingrained as my defense mechanisms.

I wake to a text message from Cain.  He'll be here in about an hour.  Anxious to see him, I get up right away and get in the shower, but by the time I come out of my room ready to go, he is already here.  He's sitting in the kitchen with Nicole, and when I appear in the doorway, the conversation freezes as if they've just been talking about me.

"How was Boston?" I ask, a wary look on my face.

"Boring without you," Cain says, rising and coming toward me, his gaze mesmerizing the suspicion right out of me.  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Nicole watching us with an annoying awww look on her face, and I scowl at her before Cain follows me out the door.  He has brought the limo.

"So where are we going?" I ask.

"Shopping," Cain says, and my mind flashes back to what he said Thursday night about remedying my lack of a lingerie drawer.

"Cain..." I start to protest but stop myself, realizing it's futile.  He'll have his way, and if I don't cooperate, I'll probably find underwear made out of diamonds in my drawer tomorrow.  I resign myself to do as I am bid, which is to procure at least enough undergarments and nightwear for two weeks, and looking at price tags is strictly prohibited.  He's particularly adamant about that.

"Why two weeks?  Are you taking me on a vacation?"

"Would you like me to?"

"Answer the question," I demand.

"It's just a minimum limit.  You can get as much as you like," Cain says, and as I snarl in exasperation with him, he leans in close.

"Whether I get to see you in them or not, how can I be expected to enjoy undressing you with my eyes when I know you're wearing cotton panties?" He whispers it so low that I feel his words more than I hear them, sending chills down my spine, and I have no choice but to elbow him to overcome the intoxicating effect.  He just laughs.

When Lucy pulls up in front of Horton Plaza in downtown San Diego, I'm relieved. I was afraid he would take us to someplace obscenely expensive where I would feel out of place and self-conscious.  He helps me out of the car, and steers me toward the entrance with his hand on my back.

"And don't worry about the leather lingerie today," he whispers.  "We'll get that later."

"Listen, Playboy," I say, using his audacity as an opportunity to stretch my dominant wings.  I turn and hold my arm out, my hand against his chest.  "I'm going to let this happen today, but if you want to take me lingerie shopping in the future, you'll have to earn it."

"Yes, Mistress," he whispers with a mix of pleasure and sarcasm before slapping me on the ass.  Working in bars and restaurants as long as I have, my kneejerk reaction is to elbow him again, but I suppress it because something about the sting of his hand excites me.

Maybe I
would
enjoy what he wants to do to me in that leather lingerie
...