A Lesser Evil (30 page)

‘Of course! That’s what’s behind it, isn’t it?’ her neighbour said almost triumphantly. ‘Your mother doesn’t approve of Dan, so you’ve gone all out to try and join the other side.’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Fifi said indignantly. ‘I haven’t tried to join anything. I believe in being nice to people. Just because they are poor doesn’t mean they are worth less than other people.’

‘I don’t take exception to anyone just for being poor,’ Miss Diamond said firmly. ‘But let me tell you that most of the people in this street have as much money coming in as you or I do. They just can’t manage it. You see them going down to the fish-and-chip shop night after night. If they cooked at home they’d save pounds every week. If they didn’t drink so much they could afford to buy their children’s clothes outright, instead of getting those Provident cheques which they never finish paying off. They wouldn’t need to pawn things every week either. Oh, I could go on and on, but I think I’ve made my point.’

‘You certainly have, you’re a crashing snob,’ Fifi exclaimed. ‘Maybe some of the people around here are a bit feckless and disorganized, but life shouldn’t be just about being careful with your money, it’s for living. I don’t see you having much fun, for all you’ve got a nice flat and a good job.’

The older woman shrugged. ‘Fun, if that means going to the pub and getting blazing drunk, isn’t something I’d want to do. But believe me, Fifi, these people around here will never enhance your life, they’ll laugh at you behind your back, suck you dry and drag you down with them.’

‘That’s rubbish,’ Fifi insisted.

‘It’s not.’ Miss Diamond shook her head. ‘It’s just a fact of life. They resent you for being educated and beautiful, for all the good things in you that they sense lacking in themselves. They resent you even more now because you had the courage to go into that house and find Angela.’

‘That’s not true.’ Fifi began to cry.

‘Of course it’s true! Wise up, girl. They feel guilty because they know they should’ve done something years ago. Of course they’ll tell you it’s their code of never informing on anyone, but that’s just hot air. The truth is almost certainly that most of the people in this street have something to hide themselves, so they wouldn’t dare speak out against a neighbour for fear of it coming out.’

‘So I can’t win then?’ Fifi said through her tears. ‘I’ve been cast out by my own family for marrying a working-class man, but I’m not welcome with his sort either! So what am I supposed to do?’

‘From what I’ve gathered, Dan has no allegiance to anyone but you. So get away from here. Make friends with intelligent, free-thinking people. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and most of all stop dwelling on what went on across the road. You’ll lose Dan if you don’t.’

With that Miss Diamond turned and swept off down the stairs, leaving Fifi completely astounded.

*

Nora Diamond felt shaky after her words with her neighbour, and instead of finishing the stairs, then moving on to clean the bathroom as she’d intended, she went into her kitchen and got out her bottle of sherry. She didn’t approve of drinking during the day, but Fifi had rattled her, and a small glass of sherry and a cigarette would calm her down.

She hadn’t meant to be so harsh with the girl, but that remark of hers, ‘
You must have seen people coming and going over there
’, had cut right through her, making her defensive. She knew all too well she should go to the police and give them the name of the man she had recognized going into number 11 on several occasions. But how could she? They would ask how she knew him and she couldn’t tell them that. Besides, she hadn’t seen any of the card players on the night of the last game. Why should she put herself in jeopardy for something which might not even help the investigation?

The sweet sherry calmed her, but she still felt ashamed of how she’d spoken to Fifi. She was a sweet girl and it was clear she was deeply troubled by what she’d witnessed over the road. But Nora couldn’t help her, she had her own troubles, and unlike Fifi she didn’t have a man to protect her.

Later that morning as Fifi tidied up the living room, she found herself blushing with shame at everything Miss Diamond had said to her.

She wanted to discount it all – after all, what did the woman know, she was still living here, for all her good breeding and hoity-toity ways.

But she couldn’t discount everything. Miss Diamond had as good as said that Fifi was silly, weak and misguided. More or less what her mother thought about her. Surely she wasn’t like that? Was she?

Looking out on to the dreary rain-washed street, Fifi couldn’t help but wish she could go back to the beginning and start again, this time thinking things through at every step. She could have told her mother when she first met Dan, got him to call for her so it didn’t look as though she was hiding something shameful. She certainly shouldn’t have rushed into marrying him the way she did.

Miss Diamond was definitely right in saying it should have been her who looked for the flat, not Dan. People were wary of him because he looked so tough, but she could have got round a very cautious landlord.

But she couldn’t go back, so what was she to do now?

Glancing out of the window, she saw Yvette going through her front door, so she thought she would call on her and get her opinion.

‘Ah, Fifi!’ Yvette exclaimed as she opened the front door and found her neighbour standing there. ‘’Ow are you?’

‘Fine, thank you,’ Fifi replied, even though she was close to tears. ‘Could I come in for a chat? You’ve been out every time I’ve called over.’

‘I am a leetle busy,’ Yvette replied.

‘Just for a few minutes,’ Fifi pleaded. ‘I’ve missed you.’

She observed that Yvette was pale and drawn, the dark circles under her eyes suggesting she hadn’t slept much recently. She took this to mean the dressmaker was as troubled by what had happened next door as herself.

‘Okay,’ Yvette sighed. ‘I was just going to make some coffee anyway.’

Number 12 was exactly the same as all the houses in the street, and Yvette’s flat was identical to Frank’s, with two adjoining rooms and the kitchen at the end of a communal long hallway. But number 12 was very dirty and neglected. The wallpaper on the stairs must have been put up before the war and it was worn away where people rubbed against it. The hall floor didn’t look as if it had been swept or washed for years. Mr and Mrs Balstrode who lived upstairs were elderly, so perhaps they couldn’t manage cleaning, but Fifi wondered why Yvette didn’t do it.

But it was obvious from her kitchen that Yvette didn’t care much about her surroundings. Although not dirty, it was dingy and disorganized. She took a percolator down from a shelf, filled the bottom with water, put a couple of tablespoons of fresh ground coffee in the top and lit the gas beneath it.

‘You will have the plaster taken off soon?’ she asked.

Fifi thought it funny that people asked about that all the time, as if it was really important, but didn’t want to discuss more serious problems. ‘Just another week,’ she said. ‘I wish I could get over all this other stuff as easily. Are you finding it hard too?’

Yvette nodded, glancing out of the window towards the Muckles’ kitchen window which faced hers beyond a six-foot fence. ‘I find it hard to live ’ere any more.’

‘At least it’s quiet now,’ Fifi said, but realizing how callous that sounded she blushed. ‘Oops, I shouldn’t have said that!’

‘We should say it how it is.’ Yvette shrugged. ‘It is quiet now, that is good. I do not miss all the trouble, the fighting, the insults. I weesh to forget.’

‘I want to too,’ Fifi said. ‘But I can’t stop thinking about them.’

‘You must, Fifi,’ Yvette said reprovingly. ‘They are not worth a moment’s thought. You and your Dan, you should go out and ’ave good time together. Find a new home and move away.’

‘But I will be a witness at the trial,’ Fifi said. ‘Until that is over I can’t forget about them.’

The water in the percolator began to boil and bubble up and the aroma of coffee filled the small kitchen. Yvette put some dainty china on a tray and milk in a jug. ‘Just because you ’ave to be witness does not mean you have to halt your life. You ’ave had much sadness losing your baby, Fifi. Do not bring more sadness into your life by wasting a moment of it on that family.’

Yvette put the percolator on the tray and then lifted the whole thing. ‘We will go into the front room,’ she said. ‘You have a cup of coffee, a leetle chat, then you go home.’

It was a great disappointment to find Yvette wasn’t her usual warm, interested self. In the past she had always asked so many questions, keen to hear about even the dullest of day-to-day incidents. She merely shrugged when Fifi repeated what Miss Diamond had said to her, and when Fifi launched into telling her how Dan didn’t want to talk about Angela’s death, she sighed.

‘Why should he?’ she said. ‘In the war we saw terrible things, but after we ’ave to put them aside and go on. It is like that now. Angela is better in heaven, and the other children happier in new homes. I expect Dan feels there is no more to say.’

‘I can’t see it that way,’ Fifi said heatedly. ‘There is so much that doesn’t fit right. We don’t even know for certain it was Alfie that did it, the police won’t say. I heard a woman in the shop say Alfie’s two oldest daughters had babies by him. Is that true?’

‘I don’t know,’ Yvette said, looking away as if wishing she’d never let Fifi in. ‘But you should not be worrying about this, Fifi.’

‘Someone should, if it is true!’ Fifi’s voice rose with anger. ‘If people had really thought he’d done that to the older girls, and done something then, Angela might not have died.’

‘Perhaps,’ Yvette said. ‘But Alfie will be answerable to a higher authority one day, just as you and I will.’

Fifi started to cry. She had expected Yvette to feel as she did. ‘Don’t you sense all the nastiness in this street?’ she sobbed out. ‘We are all partly responsible for what happened. But we were too cowardly to stand up to Molly and Alfie.’

Yvette gave another of her Gallic shrugs. ‘The nastiness was always in this street, there are many damaged people.’

‘What do you mean by that?’ Fifi sniffed.

‘They may all be hurting over something in their past. They cannot feel the way you do about Angela because they have used up all their tears on themselves.’

Fifi stopped to think about that for a moment. ‘Are you that way too?’ she asked eventually.

‘I theenk so,’ Yvette nodded. ‘But you, Fifi, you have so much, love, youth, beauty and intelligence, your life is good.’

This sounded like a re-run of what Miss Diamond had said. ‘It doesn’t feel good,’ Fifi blubbed through tears.

‘I think it is time you grow up and look at ’ow lucky you are,’ Yvette said archly. ‘Many of us ’ave ’ad to live without parents. Yes, you lost your baby, but that happens to many women and one day you’ll ’ave another. Go home now, think about all you ’ave, and be glad.’

Fifi felt completely demoralized. Dan had lost patience with her, Miss Diamond had been dismissive, and now Yvette was packing her off with a message that she should be grateful for what she had.

‘I’m sorry I took up your time,’ she said weakly, getting to her feet and brushing away her tears. ‘I didn’t mean to be a nuisance.’

Chapter Twelve

Fifi was singing along with ‘She Loves You’, a new release from the Beatles, on the radio as she changed the sheets on the bed. It was an awkward job with a plastered arm, and when she heard the front-door bell ring she ignored it, thinking it was for Frank. But when it rang long and hard again, she dropped the blankets and went downstairs.

She was feeling happier today than she’d felt for a very long time. Part of it was due to some fantastic lovemaking last night. But that had only come about because after the miserable Saturday with both Miss Diamond and Yvette telling her what was wrong with her, she had decided to try to modify her behaviour.

On Sunday afternoon she and Dan had gone to Hyde Park for a walk, and she didn’t mention Dale Street or the murder once. Out in the sunshine in a place she associated with the happy times when they first came to London, it was easy to be her old self. Dan seemed relaxed and happier too, and they looked out an
Evening Standard
and sat on the grass ringing round each of the flat-letting agencies that seemed to have plenty of flats on their books.

In the evening they went to see
The Day of the Triffids
at Leicester Square and when they got home Fifi was too scared to go downstairs alone to use the lavatory, so Dan had to go with her. That made them both laugh until they were almost crying, and from then on things had got better and better.

She’d spent all day Monday and Tuesday going to register at flat agencies, and most of them had seemed quite hopeful, particularly if she and Dan were prepared to move a few miles further out of central London.

But the main thing which was making Fifi feel happy was that the following day the plaster cast was coming off. On Monday, in five days’ time, she could return to work. She had an appointment later on that day to have her hair done, and she thought she’d make a special meal tomorrow night to celebrate.

The bell rang a third time as she reached the last flight of stairs.

‘All right, I’m coming,’ she called out. She hoped it wasn’t the police again; now that she had begun to try to put all that business behind her, she didn’t want anyone bringing it up again.

She opened the door and to her astonishment there stood her mother, wearing a pink two-piece. Fifi was so surprised she was rendered speechless.

‘Well, say something,’ Clara said. ‘“Come in” would be nice.’

‘I’m sorry, I’m just so taken aback,’ Fifi said, almost stammering with shock. ‘What are you doing in London?’

‘Your father had to go and see someone at King’s College, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to come and visit you.’

Ever since they moved into Dale Street, a surprise visit from her parents had always been Fifi’s greatest fear. While she felt some relief that she’d cleaned the living room that morning, she dreaded to think what her mother would make of the kitchen on the landing.