A Life of Joy (14 page)

“We know that you love us, but you have to remember that Trisha and Frank are family too. God and family are the most important things in our lives.”

She nodded.

“Rebecca will understand if you feel God calling you to go help Trisha for a while,” he said. “Just talk to her.”

“I will.”

He stood and motioned for her to follow him. “She’s concerned about you. Why don’t you go tell her what’s going on? I’m certain she can help you sort this out.”

They walked to the house together. Lindsay found Rebecca sitting at the kitchen table.

“Lindsay!” Rebecca stood. “You look upset. Are you okay?”

“Ya.”
Lindsay sank into the chair across from her. “I’m okay.”

Daniel kissed Rebecca on her head. “I’ll go check on the
kinner
. You two go ahead and talk.” He nodded at Lindsay, giving her a sympathetic expression before heading toward the stairs.

Sitting down in the chair, Rebecca eyed Lindsay with concern.
“Was iss letz
?”

Lindsay took a deep breath and then explained the conversations she’d had with both Jessica and Frank. She couldn’t stop the lump that swelled in her throat, and her voice sounded thick by the time she finished her story.

“Oh, Lindsay.” Rebecca took her hands in hers. “If you want to go help Trisha, you can.” She squeezed Lindsay’s hands. “You do what feels right to you.”

“But I don’t know what’s right,” Lindsay said. “I feel like I belong here, but I also feel that I’m needed back in Virginia. Jessica lectured me, reminding me of all Aunt Trisha and Uncle Frank have done for us and our parents over the years. She said it’s only right for me to go help them too.”

Rebecca nodded. “She’s right.”

Lindsay gestured toward Rebecca. “But you need me too. You’re my family, my real, blood family.”

“I’ll be just fine if you want to go to Virginia,” Rebecca said.

“What about the bakery? Elizabeth depends on me.”

With a grin, Rebecca reached for Lindsay’s hands again. “I’m sure we will make do until you come back.”

Lindsay held her breath, attempting to curb more tears.

Rebecca patted Lindsay’s hands. “You need to pray about it and let God show you the answer.”

“Okay,” Lindsay said.

“And I’m doing fine. The doctor said that everything looks good.” She stood. “You go get some sleep. Pray about it and let God lead you. You’ll know the answer when you feel it. Once you feel comfortable with your decision, you can call Frank back and tell him what you’ve decided to do.”

“Oh,” Lindsay said. “The doctor’s office called to remind you of your appointment on Monday.”

“Danki,”
Rebecca said.

Lindsay followed her to the stairs. She said good night and then retreated into her room, where she changed into her nightclothes and climbed into bed. Her mind raced with thoughts while she attempted to pray.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Lindsay’s thoughts settled down, and she opened her heart and mind to God as she fell asleep.

8

L
indsay awoke the following morning with a Bible verse floating around in her head:

Thank You Lord that You will sustain them upon their sickbed. In their illness You will restore them to health. In the name of Jesus Christ
.

Sitting up straight, she rubbed her eyes and then looked up at the ceiling. “You want me to go to Virginia and take care of Aunt Trisha,” she whispered. “That’s my answer.”

The Scripture continued swirling through her head during breakfast and throughout the ride to the bakery. She was relieved that neither Rebecca nor Daniel asked her why she was so quiet.

When she arrived at the bakery, she greeted her aunts and cousins and then busied herself with straightening the shelves of T-shirts for sale in the front part of the bakery. Lindsay was deep in thought about Frank and Trisha when she heard footsteps approaching behind her. She turned and smiled at Elizabeth. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Elizabeth smiled. “How are you today, Lindsay?”

“Gut,”
Lindsay said while she folded the shirts. “How are you?”

“Gut.”
Elizabeth stood beside her. “May I help you with those shirts?”

“No,
danki
.” Lindsay nodded toward a table with chairs nearby. “I’m almost done, but you can keep me company while I work.”

“That sounds like a
gut
plan.” Elizabeth lowered herself into one of the chairs. “How was your evening last night?”

“Gut,”
Lindsay said, placing another folded shirt into the cubby hole with matching shirts of different sizes. “How was yours?”

“It was gut.” Elizabeth smiled. “Sarah Rose and Luke stopped by with the
kinner
. Seth and Rachel are talking up a storm and Benjamin and Peter are running around, toddling all on their own.”

Lindsay smiled and nodded while Elizabeth discussed Sarah Rose and Luke’s twins, but her mind was focused on her decision to go to Virginia Beach. A glimmer of anxiety surged through her at the thought of leaving her family that she’d grown to love during the past four years. How would she manage without them?

“It’s fun watching them learn new things,” Lindsay said without looking up from the shirt she was straightening. She finished folding the last shirt and then examined the cubby holes, which were all tidy and presentable for the tourists who would stop by throughout the day for baked goods and souvenirs.

“Lindsay?” Elizabeth asked, breaking through Lindsay’s thoughts. “Are you okay,
mei liewe
? You seem a bit distracted.”

Lindsay glanced up. “I do?”

Elizabeth gestured toward the chair across the small table from her. “How about we talk for a few minutes?”

Lindsay sat on the chair. “Okay.”

Elizabeth leaned forward and folded her hands. “Now, I know something is wrong. You look as if you’re going to explode if you don’t let it out.”

Lindsay yanked a napkin from the metal holder in the middle
of the table and began to absently shred it. “Last night I received some bad news.”

Elizabeth listened with a sympathetic expression while Lindsay explained the phone calls regarding Trisha’s accident.

“I need to go and help Aunt Trisha and Uncle Frank,” Lindsay began while pushing the pieces of napkin around on the table. “But the idea of leaving the family is a little scary. I’ve been living here for four years, and now I’ll have to go back to my old way of life.” She looked at Elizabeth. “Does that make sense? I feel like it’s the right thing to do, but I’m really jittery.”

“
Ya
, it makes sense,” Elizabeth said with a gentle smile. “You sound like you doubt yourself. What’s your heart telling you to do?”

Lindsay swiped the pile of napkin bits into her hand, and dropped them into the pocket of her apron. “I think God wants me to go to Virginia. I prayed about it all night, and I woke up thinking of a verse that I’d heard a few weeks ago in church service.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “What verse is it?”

“Psalm 41, verse 3,” Lindsay whispered.

Elizabeth recited it from memory. “I remember when the minister read that. It touched my heart.” She smoothed her apron and paused, as if contemplating the Scripture. “And you think God is telling you to go?”

“
Ya
, I do, but I’m nervous about going.” Lindsay gestured around the bakery with her hands. “This is my life now. Going back to the English way feels uncomfortable.”

“But you know Trisha and Frank,” Elizabeth said. “They’re family to you. It will be like living here, only you’ll be with different family members.”

“You’re right.” Lindsay nodded with emphasis. “I keep wondering if maybe God is sending me to Virginia to help me figure out which world I truly belong in, this world or the English world.”

“That’s a
gut
possibility.” Reaching over, Elizabeth gently squeezed Lindsay’s hand. “You may decide that you belong with the English. And if you do, you know that you’ll always be welcome here. In the meantime, I will find another helper for the summer.”

“Danki,”
Lindsay said. She suddenly felt the knot in her stomach loosen as a small glimmer of confidence ignited within her.

Elizabeth stood. “I guess I better get back to work. Are you coming to the kitchen or are you going to work out here?”

Lindsay pointed toward the carousel of keychains and magnets nearby. “I think I’ll organize those since the personalized keychains look to be out of order. I spotted a ‘Zach’ keychain by a ‘Joe.’”

“
Danki
for doing that. I’ll see you in a bit,” Elizabeth said before heading behind the counter toward the kitchen.

Lindsay leaned back in the chair, closed her eyes, and sent up a prayer, begging God to give her more confidence in her decision to go to Virginia Beach and care for Trisha.

Rebecca stepped onto the porch later that evening and found Lindsay sitting in the swing. Swishing back and forth slowly, Lindsay held a glass of tea in her hands while she stared across the dark pasture.

“May I join you?” Rebecca asked.

“Of course.” Lindsay moved over and patted the seat next to her. “How are you feeling?”

“Gut,”
Rebecca said, sinking down next to her. “How about you? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Lindsay bit her bottom lip, and Rebecca dreaded her response. She’d spent all day worrying about Lindsay and what she would decide. While Rebecca knew it was selfish to want to keep Lindsay with her, she also knew she would miss her if she went to Virginia.

“I’ve made my decision,” Lindsay began. “I’ve prayed about it and I talked to Elizabeth today.” With a determined expression, she faced Rebecca. “I’m going to Virginia Beach.”

Rebecca nodded with understanding. She’d known in her heart that her niece would go since she was such a caring and loving girl.

“I feel like God is telling me to go there,” Lindsay continued. “I woke up this morning with Psalm 41, verse 3, echoing in my head, and I know that would only have come from God.”

“
Ya
, you’re absolutely right.” Rebecca silently marveled at how much her niece had matured since coming to live with her four years ago. “God is speaking to you.”

“It breaks my heart to consider leaving you and the rest of the family, especially the
kinner
, but I think this is what I’m supposed to do.”

Rebecca took a deep, cleansing breath, hoping to hold back the tears brewing in her eyes. “How soon do you think you’ll leave?”

Lindsay shrugged. “I guess early next week? I need to tell my friends. I thought I would break the news tomorrow night at the Kauffman gathering at Elizabeth’s house.”

“That’s a
gut
idea,” Rebecca said, trying to keep her tone positive, despite her breaking heart. “They would want to hear it from you.”

They were silent for a moment, and Rebecca wondered how her children would take the news of Lindsay’s leaving. She imagined they would be just as sad as she was since Lindsay was almost like their other mother.

“Have you called Frank and discussed this with him?” Rebecca asked, breaking the heavy silence.

Lindsay shook her head. “Not yet. I needed to really think about it and be certain before I told him. I’ll go call him now. I think he’s probably still up. It’s not quite nine yet.”

“While you’re there, can you check the messages? I forgot to earlier.”

“Sure. I’ll go check the machine and then call Jessica and Uncle Frank.” Lindsay stood and lifted the lantern from the small table next to the swing. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Take your time.”

As Lindsay hopped down the steps and headed for the phone shanty, Rebecca glanced toward the barn, wondering if Daniel was finishing up his work in his shop.

After a few moments, the door to the barn opened, and Daniel sauntered out, locking the door behind him. He crossed to the porch and took the steps two at a time before lowering his tall body onto the swing next to her. He placed his hand on her back and rubbed it gently.

“Are the
kinner
asleep?” he asked.

“
Ya
.” Rebecca’s voice was thick.

“Was
iss letz
?”

“Lindsay’s leaving.” She met his gaze and tears pooled in her eyes. “She’s going to Virginia to help Trisha.”

Daniel pulled her into his arms. “She’ll be fine. She’s a smart
maedel
. She’ll take good care of Trisha.”

Rebecca sniffed. “I don’t know why I’m so emotional. It must be the hormones. I know she’ll come back to us once Trisha is better. Don’t you agree?”

“I believe so. We’ve become her family.” He rested his chin on her head. “But you must remember that she’ll follow whatever God puts in her heart, and we have to leave that up to Him. It’s not our place to decide what’s best for her.”

Rebecca wiped the tears seeping from her eyes. “I’m being silly and overly emotional, but I feel like I’m losing a child. I’m going to miss her so much.”

He continued rubbing her back. “I’ll miss her too, and so will Emma and Junior. But we have to let her go and trust that she’ll come back to us soon.”