A Life of Joy (9 page)

“I know. I’m just really frustrated.” Lindsay popped up from the table and peeked through the kitchen window above the sink. “Here she comes. Jake’s pickup just pulled up to the barn.”

Rebecca said a silent prayer, asking God to change her nieces’ hearts toward each other and help them work out their differences before Jessica left in the morning.

“Looks like they’re having an intense conversation,” Lindsay said, still staring out the window. “I wonder if she told him off too.”

“Lindsay …” Rebecca said. “That’s not nice.”

“I know, but she was on a roll today.” Lindsay continued to gaze out the window.

Rebecca absently folded a stray napkin left on the table. “I saw you talking to Matthew Glick for quite a while in the kitchen. He’s a nice young man, ya?”

Facing Rebecca, Lindsay’s ivory cheeks flushed a bright pink. “He’s nice. Very nice.”

“It’s
gut
how he spends time with Daniel,” Rebecca continued.
“I think he sees Daniel sort of as a father figure since his own
daed
abandoned him.”

“That makes sense,” Lindsay said.

“He’s a
gut
man, Lindsay.” Rebecca smiled. What she wanted to say was that she also thought Matthew was sweet on Lindsay. However, she thought it best to keep that thought to herself for the time being.

“He is.” Lindsay turned back to the window. “We’re just friends.”

The back door opened and then slammed shut, revealing Daniel, who had been taking care of the animals. He kicked off his boots and tossed his straw hat onto the peg by the back door. “Jessica is out back talking to Jake.” He crossed the kitchen and kissed Rebecca’s head. “You look worn out, Becky. Are you feeling all right?”

Cupping her hand to her mouth, she yawned and smiled. “I’m tired but doing fine,
danki
.”

Daniel looked skeptical. “I think you need more rest. Come up to bed.”

“I’ll be up in a bit,” she said, gazing up at him. “I want to speak to Jessica when she comes in. She’s leaving tomorrow, and we haven’t had much time to talk.”

“If she’d stayed at the party …” Lindsay began.

“Don’t stay up too late,” he warned. “I’ll be down to get you if you’re not up after my shower.”

“Okay.” Rebecca smiled at him before he headed toward the stairs. She glanced back at Lindsay, who was studying the scene out the window. Rebecca wanted to speak with Jessica, but she also wanted to be sure that the girls didn’t get into another emotional argument. Her plan was to diffuse any bickering before it escalated, as her own mother had tried to do when she and Grace were young.

“Here she comes,” Lindsay said from the window. “She’s not smiling.”

The back door opened and closed, and Jessica walked into the kitchen, her pretty face turned down in a frown and her eyes red and puffy.

Rebecca stood. “Are you all right, Jessica?”

“Where have you been?” Lindsay asked while standing hands on hips in front of her sister. “Didn’t you remember that this party was for you? I can’t believe you just took off and missed nearly the whole night. Do you realize how thoughtless that is?”

“Whoa!” Jessica held her hands up. “If I’d known I was going to get the third degree, then I would’ve found somewhere else to stay tonight.”

“That’s not necessary,” Rebecca said. “You’re family and always welcome here.” She sat and pointed to the chair across from her. “Sit and tell us what happened, Jessica.” She motioned for Lindsay to sit also.

“This better be good,” Lindsay snapped, dropping into the chair next to Rebecca.

Rebecca shot her a warning glance, and Lindsay’s expression softened. “Now, Jessica,” Rebecca began, “please tell us why you’re so upset.”

“Jake and I had a terrible argument.” Her voice was thick.

Rebecca reached over and took Jessica’s hand in hers. “What happened?”

Jessica cleared her throat. “We talked, and Jake said that he feels like he holds me back. He said that we’re from different worlds and want different things out of life. He said that he’s tired of waiting for me and he thinks we’re stuck in one place in our friendship. He said that we should remain friends but go our separate ways.”

Tears spilled from Jessica’s eyes, and Rebecca handed her the napkin she’d been folding and unfolding. “Oh, dear. I’m so sorry.” She glanced at Lindsay who looked sympathetic. “Would you please get your
schweschder
a glass of water?”

Lindsay jumped up and rushed to the sink.

Rebecca patted Jessica’s hand. “I know it hurts, Jessica, but maybe you can work things out when you get back from New York.”

“I don’t know,” Jessica said while wiping her eyes. “He seems really hurt that I chose New York over him. He insists we’ll never want the same thing. The truth is, I’m not sure what I want yet. I feel like I’m young and have a lot of living to do before I settle down.”

Lindsay returned with a glass of water and set it in front of Jessica. “You say you don’t know what you want, but you criticize those who do.”

Jessica sipped the water and then turned to her sister. “I didn’t criticize you, Lindsay. I merely suggested that you keep your options open.”

“But that’s not your decision,” Lindsay countered, scowling. “It’s up to me if I want to live here, just like it’s up to you if you want to go to New York.”

“Can we not rehash this now?” Jessica snapped. “I think I’ve been through enough tonight.”

“Have you?” Lindsay’s voice rose. “I’m still reeling from what you said to me on the porch. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Girls! Girls!” Rebecca held her hands up. “You must lower your voices. You’ll wake the
kinner
, and you’ll upset Daniel.” The groan of the water pressure above the kitchen sent relief flowing through Rebecca. She was glad Daniel was in the shower and out of earshot of the bickering. “Now, you two have argued enough for one day. You’re family. Stop hurting each other and speak with respect.”

Lindsay sighed. “Fine. Jessica, I’m sorry that you and Jake had a terrible argument. However, I want you to know that you hurt me when you took off after saying all of those hateful things to me.”

Jessica wiped her eyes with the napkin. “I’m sorry that my words came across as hateful, but I was only trying to give you options.”

“I don’t want your options,” Lindsay said simply. “I want your respect.”

Rebecca was tickled by how mature Lindsay sounded. She bit her lower lip to stop a grin from forming.

Jessica sipped her drink. “I respect you, but I also want what’s best for you.”

“I’m not your child,” Lindsay said. “And you were thoughtless to leave tonight. This party was for you.”

“I didn’t want a party,” Jessica said. “I came here to see you, Rebecca, the family here in this house, and Jake. That was it.”

Lindsay shook her head, looking frustrated. “How can you be so self-centered? Don’t you realize that everyone loves you and wants to see you before you leave for New York? You’re so into yourself that you can’t see beyond your own world. It’s not just about you. You think you’re so grown up, but you’re still the same selfish little girl you always were.”

Jessica’s lips formed a wry smirk. “Really? Little Miss Baker is going to tell me what it’s like to be an adult? What responsibilities do you have beyond making cookies for tourists?”

Rebecca’s stomach twisted at the sting of their words for each other. She had to stop them before they permanently damaged their already fragile relationship. “Girls,” she began with a frown. “You’re getting out of hand again. Tone it down before you say something you’ll regret.”

“I want to answer that,
Aenti
Rebecca,” Lindsay said. “I have quite a few responsibilities. I not only work for the bakery, but I do plenty around the house to help Rebecca and to care for our cousins. You may not see working in a bakery as a worthy job, but it is to me. I’m contributing to my community and my family—both my family in this house and the extended Kauffman family.” She tapped the table for emphasis as she spoke. “I don’t have to be a college student to be considered responsible. In fact, I’m more responsible than a college student because I’m thinking about more people than just myself.”

Jessica rolled her eyes. “Lindsay, you’ve got it all wrong. I think of more than —”

“That’s enough,” Rebecca said, her voice louder than she expected.

Startled, her nieces jumped and stared at her.

“I’m not going to sit here and listen to you two try to destroy each other,” Rebecca began. “I wish I could speak to
mei schweschder
one last time, but you two look as if you don’t care if you ever see each other after tonight. You need to love each other, even if you don’t agree on things.
Mei schweschder
and I were very different, as you two are.” She pointed between them. “But I loved Grace, and she loved me. She chose a different path, just as you two seem to be choosing. That doesn’t make one of you more mature or one of you smarter. That makes each of you different, and God loves all of us, no matter how different we are.”

They both looked ashamed.

“Now, apologize and agree to disagree.” Rebecca paused as the girls stared at each other. “Go on. It’s getting late, and I’m tired.”

“I’m sorry,” Lindsay said softly. “I still feel that my choices are my business, but I didn’t want to hurt you. You’re my only sister, and I love you.”

Rebecca smiled.
Lindsay is such a sweet and thoughtful girl, and she’s growing up so quickly
.

“I’m sorry too, Linds.” Jessica sighed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you either. And of course I love you. You’re my baby sister, and you mean a lot to me, which is why I care. But I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Rebecca nodded.
She’s grown up too
. She reached over and squeezed their hands. “I’m proud of you both. Now, it’s bedtime. We can talk more in the morning, right, Jessica? You’re not leaving at the crack of dawn?”

Jessica shook her head. “No, not at dawn. I’d like to get on the road before noon, though.”

“Gut.”
Rebecca squeezed Jessica’s hand once more before she stood. “I want to get to bed. You two don’t stay up too late now.”

“We won’t,” Lindsay said.

“Good night,” Rebecca said as she headed for the stairs. “See you in the morning.” She climbed the stairs as the girls echoed her good-night wishes. As she started down the hallway toward her room, she hoped that her nieces would forget their differences and remember to always cherish each other.

Lindsay took Jessica’s glass to the sink and began washing it. While the bubbles moved over the glass, she contemplated Rebecca’s lecture. As usual, her aunt was right about things. It was more important for Lindsay to accept that Jessica had different ideas about her future than it was for her to continually fight with her sister about it. In the end, they would lose the argument along with losing each other.

“She has a way with words, huh?” Jessica said, leaning against the counter. “She gets right to the heart of things.”

“Ya
, she does.” Lindsay placed the glass in the drain and wiped her hands on a towel. “I’m really sorry about how things went with Jake. I didn’t expect that this weekend.”

“Me either.” Jessica hoisted her thin body into a sitting position on the counter. “I think he’s right, though. I’m not sure what I want. I’ve never made any promises to him, and we never outwardly considered each other more than friends. He told me he loved me tonight, which sort of surprised me. But he also said we’re too different.” She frowned, looking defeated. “It’s all so confusing.”

“You can be together and be different.” Lindsay tossed the towel onto the counter. “Mom and Dad were total opposites. I mean, she was a total neat freak, and he always threw his dirty socks onto the floor.” She giggled. “I remember one day where
they yelled at each other for hours because he walked across the kitchen in muddy boots.”

Jessica guffawed. “I remember that!” She shook her head. “That was so funny. He couldn’t understand what the big deal was until she made him mop.”

Lindsay laughed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. “See? You and Jake can be different but still be more than friends.”

Jessica shook her head, and her smile faded. “This is different. Mom and Dad wanted the same things. They wanted a family, and they wanted to live in Virginia. I don’t know where I want to live.”

“Only time will tell.” Lindsay cupped her hand to her mouth as she yawned. “I think I’m ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”

Jessica hopped down from the counter and touched Lindsay’s arm. “One thing. I know you and I will never agree on where you should live, but I have one request.”

Lindsay squelched the urge to roll her eyes. “What now?”

“Please just consider getting your GED,” Jessica began.

“Jess, we’ve been through this,” Lindsay said, resentment bubbling inside her. “I don’t want to —”

“Just hear me out.” Jessica held her hands up as if to surrender. “I’m not saying that you need to go back to school, but getting your GED will give you more options if you decide to pursue employment outside of the bakery. It’s not like going back to school full-time. From what I’ve found through research, you’d just have to study and take a test.”