A Lighter Shade of Blue (Kings of Chaos Book 2) (11 page)

The minute I wake up alone—I’m pissed.
Did she fucking leave me?
I ease from the bed and find the bathroom empty. I ball my fists. She’s going to have to get used to our new roles. I’m not going back to that wistful motherfucker watching her every move. I slam my hand into the wall. I spill my guts to her, she sleeps with me and then leaves in the morning like she’s some one-night stand? I clench my jaw.

This shit ain’t going to fly.

I turn on the shower and step under the spray trying to get my emotions under control. She wanted it. I saw it in her eyes and felt it in the effortless way we came together. I’ve slept with more women than I could count, but none made me feel the way she did, and none were bare after Calla.
Lying bitch.
Even now, she’s cock blocking me from her prison cell.

I bow my head, and the water washes away some of the anger and the grime of yesterday.
She’s scared.
If Blue had a bad quality, it’s that she cares too much about everyone. Even if they could give a shit less about her. It’s not completely her fault. I’ve watched the way her parents push her into this role of the keeper and perfect child extraordinaire. As if what she does right could make up for all the wrong Calla has done.
That shit stops now.
She’s always needed someone to stand up for her. Now that I’m here, things are going to change. I want her happy. She deserves that. As I think of how much she’s done for Bolton, and in turn me, the anger recedes.

This putting everyone before her shit stops. I’m going to show her how it should be and will be.

Pleased with my decision, I finish up my shower. I dress in the clean clothes Blue has been thoughtful enough to provide when she made up my room, and make my way out. The club is slowly starting to stir. I locate the first prospect I can find. “Prospect, I need my wheels and keys now.” I snap my fingers.

“Y-yes sir.”

I know they’d been storing my bike, keeping it maintained and driven to keep it ready for me. I’m aching to get on her and feel the wind on my skin. There’s nothing like being on the back of a bike and becoming one with the road.

A few minutes later, I have my keys in my hand and my bike beneath me. I grip the handlebars and let her purr. “I missed you, baby.” I pull out of the lot and take the long way to the house. This moment is what I’ve been waiting for. The open road, my cut, and my family all accessible. Pulling up in front of the house I try to let go of all the negativity attached to it in my memory. Calla is gone, and this is where Bolton has grown up. Maybe it’s fitting that I establish things with Blue here to erase all the ugliness. After killing the engine I walk up to the front door.

It opens and reveals a sleepy looking Bolton. “Figured it was you. No one else comes by this early on a bike.”

I smile. “Morning to you, too, son. You got a minute to talk?” I ask.

“Yeah.” He scratches his head. “Everything okay?”

“I think it will be.” I gesture for him to follow me with my head and walk over to sit on the porch railing.

He follows, and leans against the wall of the house across from me.

“I want to run something by you.”

“Okay.”

“What do you think of me and Aunt Blue getting together?”

His eyes bulge.

“That bad?”

“No, that’s good. Like very,
very
good.”

I smile. “Nothing’s set in stone yet. I’m just putting feelers out there.”

“Dad, you guys have pretty much been my parents. Let’s be real.”

I smirk. “True enough, though I bet Blue won’t let you get away with saying that.”

Bolton rolls his eyes. “She always says Mom did the best she could by me. I think it’s bullshit.”

“Those two got oceans full of baggage between them, kid. It gives her a serious blind spot.”

“You think you can do something about that?” he asks.

“Why you worried about it, kid?”

“I don’t want to see her. She’s gotten enough of my time and energy. I know she’s not going to change, and Aunt Blue, she doesn’t get that.”

I nod. “Well, son, you’re old enough to know what you want to do and don’t. I’m not going to push the issue. I’ll talk it over with her.”

“Good, ’cause I hate feeling like I’m letting her down, you know?” Bolt asks.

“Yeah, your aunt has a way about her.”

“You, um, you really like her?” he asks.

I narrow my eyes. “Spit it out, kid. Say what you want to.”

“It’s not just messing around, right? ’Cause Aunt Blue, uh, she deserves better than that.”

I grin, proud of him for sticking up for his pseudo mother. “Anyone else asked me that and I’d have kicked their ass,” I say with a laugh. “No, this is for keeps shit. No games.”

His shoulders relax.

“So, we’re square?” I ask.

“Yeah, Dad.”

“Now, I have to tell you the reality. Your aunt is stubborn as shit, and it’s going to take some time to get this hashed out between us. Whatever you hear or see is our business. You try to get in the middle of it, and we’re going to have a problem. All you need to know is I’d never hurt her.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“We’re grownups with big emotions, kiddo. There are going to be some knock down drag outs in this house along with other things. You’re old enough to know the way it is between a man and a woman. I’m not going to lie to you or sugar coat it. I never have.”

“And I’ve always appreciated it,” Bolt replies.

“I want you to trust me, Bolton. Anything you need or want to know, bring it to me. That’s how it should be. But this thing between me and Blue? It’s been building a long time. So, I ask that you respect and trust us while we work this out, okay?”

He pauses.

I can see the wheels in his brain turning. My boy is smart—crazy smart—and empathetic like his aunt, but my boy knew when to turn it off.

“You’re going to talk to her now, aren’t you?”

“Yep, and I imagine it’s going to get pretty loud. But afterwards, we’ll go on that ride I promised you.”

His smile lights up. “You didn’t forget.”

“I’m not your Mom, Bolton. You don’t get cast aside or forgotten.” I squeeze his shoulder and walk through the front door.

“I think I’m going to grab breakfast to go.” He snatches the keys off the key ring and rushes outside to the car.

His quick retreat makes me laugh.
Smart kid.
I lock the door behind me and walk through the living room to the bedroom in the back. As I open the door I hear the shower going. The thought of her rinsing evidence of me away irks me. I sit down on her bed, undo my shoes, and shrug out of my clothing.

Lesson one, anywhere you run… I will follow.

I walk inside the steamy bathroom and stare at her shape through the glass. “You forget something?”

Jumping, she spins to face me, covering her breasts and pussy.

“Don’t worry, I’ve already memorized every inch. What the hell were you thinking?”

“That we made a mistake and not everyone needed to know about it.”

“A
what
?” I hiss.

“A mistake. We can’t do whatever this is. It’s not right.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. We can and will.”

“Shadow—”

“No, don’t act like you didn’t want everything I gave you last night.”

Her eyelids flutter. “I never said I didn’t.”

“We fit together. Do you know how rare that is, Blue?”

“I—” She clamps her mouth shut and shrugs.

The nonchalance lit a fire in me. I lean forward and bite down on her lip hard.

She hisses.

“I’ll take your anger, fear, and doubt. I know this is a huge move. But I’ll be damned if I accept your indifference.” I pin her body to the wall. Her wet skin slips against mine. My dick swells and my hips rock instinctively.

Blue whimpers.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re unresponsive now.”

“W-why are you doing this?”

“Because you’re mine. You agreed to me claiming you last night. You remember that?”

“Yes, for the night.”

“For as long as I want. You know the rules, little girl. No backing out now, because you’re getting cold feet.” I lean in and nip at her neck. Her body molds to mine. “Your body knows who you belong to.” I drag my hand down her body and cup her breast. “This.” I trail my hand down and cup her pussy. “And this are property of Shadow.” I massage her lips, careful not to touch her clit. Last night I gave her everything. Today, she’ll have to ask me for it. “I want to hear you say it, Bluebell,” I whisper against her ear.

“Say what?”

“Who you belong to.”

“No. W-what will people say?”

“You think I give a fuck about other people?” I growl.

“No, but I-I do.”

“Then we’ll have to cure you of that.” I suck her earlobe into my mouth, and she arches her back. I continue to taste her flesh as I manipulate her slick lips. “I’ll take you anywhere any time, and you’re going to let me because you’ll love it, and you’re mine to pleasure.”

Her breath comes in fast pants. The air caresses my face. I bend down and capture her pert, brown nipple into my mouth.

She cries out, “Shadow.”

I hum my approval, gently biting down on the hardened peak. A river is flowing between her legs.

She presses her thighs shut, and raises on her tiptoes, seeking more friction.

I pull away.

“No,” she whimpers.

“I want to hear you say it, Blue. Tell me who you belong to and I’ll give you what you need.”

She grits her teeth and shakes her head.

I remove my hand from her pussy and bury my fingers in her hair. Angling my body to block the spray of warm water, I push her down onto her knees in front of me. “If you don’t feel like speaking I have something else for your mouth to do.”

Her eyes widen, and she blinks at me owlishly.

“Open those beautiful lips and take your man deep.”

She rubs her thighs together and opens her mouth.

“That’s my good girl. You’re going to learn to accept the changes, aren’t you?” I thrust deeper. “What’s that? Can’t talk with your mouth full?” I increase my speed, and she takes it, opening her throat. She suckles me and our eyes lock. I will her to surrender. She bobs her head in time to my rhythm and my balls draw up. A hum vibrates down my shaft. I pull from her mouth spraying her chest with my load, marking her. “You look so pretty in white.” I cup her chin. “Stand up, so we can rinse you off.”

She blinks. “T-that’s it?”

“For now. I promised Bolton I’d ride with him today, and I’m a man of my word. Unless you have something you want to say to me? Then I could make time.”

“No!” she shouts.

“Hmm.” I grab her body wash, squeeze some on to my hand, and begin to soap her down, paying extra attention to her nipples, breasts, and inner thighs. She’s so hot I’m surprised the water doesn’t turn to steam. When she’s clean, I guide her toward the exit. “Go get dressed. I’m going to finish up here.” She steps from the shower, and I force myself to turn away from her. I want to get out, pat her skin dry and pamper her, because fuck—she’s
my
Old Lady. But I can’t. Because that would be letting her think the way things are is okay. I won’t be satisfied until she admits she’s mine and has no qualms telling the world.

Blue

I’m in trouble and sinking fast. He just owned me. I’ve never had a man do that. I value my independence, and out in the regular world, I’m usually the one who takes the lead. It’s an experience I love with Shadow, even though it scares me. Is this how the sweetbutts become mindless? They get some good D put on them, and then they become a
yes
woman. My stomach protests at the mere thought.

That will never be me.

I ball my fists and lower my head. I am losing who I am. The club does that. Blurs lines and buries you underneath the piles of issues that come along with being too close to them. I study my face in the vanity mirror. My face is damn near flushed, my eyes are bright and alive, and my lips are still swollen from his kisses. Just thinking about what he did has my nipples erect, my breasts heavy, and my core beginning to ache. He’s a habit I’ve already formed. One taste and I was a goner.
That’s why I should have resisted.
But how could I when his body was pressed to mine so deliciously, and he was telling me I was always the one he wanted? Shadow isn’t a liar, so I believe him. Yet it raises more questions.

Being with Shadow means facing the demons that have haunted me my entire life. It’s clear the man has a spell over me like he’s Houdini, and I’m an audience member selected for his next trick. I can’t say no. The minute he touches me—I catch fire, and I crave him like a starving woman suddenly inside an all you can eat buffet now that I’ve tasted him, felt him move inside of me, and seen those eyes. Those incredible blue eyes that showed me things I only dare dream about in the darkness of my room in the middle of the night. A shiver winds its way down my spine.

It’s time Calla and I hash this out, once and for all. I’ve been holding out hope that somehow, miracle of miracles, we could patch things up and get back to being sisters. I’m realizing now how deep her deceit runs, and it hurts. I need to cleave the responsibility I feel for her, so I can move forward in peace. I glance back at my reflection. There’s potential there. The half-life I’d been living didn’t satisfy me. I love my job, but it couldn’t be everything. Jamie didn’t do it for me because I pined after another man.

Now, I have him.

He’s mine for the taking. It would be insanity to let him go, over some outdated code of honor only I followed. My gut twists itself into knots. The truth was, Calla had stopped giving a fuck about me the minute I grew a pair of boobs and an ass to become
competition.
I take a deep breath. I have to see her and have this out. She’s allowed one-on-one time now, no more talking through a glass. Ruthie’s words play over in my head. If it’s fucking me up, I’m entitled to talk about it, and dig for answers.

I’ve always been a people pleaser. Not in the sense that I have a problem saying no, in the sense that I show my love by doing everything possible to make those I care about happy. If that means short changing myself here or there, fine. The thing is, all those short changings add up fast, and I’m left run down, depressed, and disappointed. It’s why I all but ran away from them a few years prior, but I’m done with that
.

I deserve more.
I mouth the words, willing myself to believe them.

I turn away and dress in a pair of black shorts, and a black tank top. They’re particular about everything you wear and bring inside. The less color and wording on your outfit, the better. I slide my feet into my black and white slip-ons, let my mane hang around my face as it air dries, and hurry out to the car. Whatever I decide to do with Shadow will be because of how I feel. It’s time to end this toxic connection I’ve fed into for too many years.

The weather is sticky hot, and I drive with all the windows down, hoping the air will help me clear my head. My hair is blowing around my face like black ribbons of silk. My heart is pounding in my chest, threatening to crack my bones. My palms are slick with sweat. Every couple of minutes, I run them across my shorts to get rid of the moisture. Sweat beads dot my forehead. I need the stimulation to remind me I’m alive. It’s time to fully embrace the motto of living free. My entire life I’ve been trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, the child for show. The
Good One,
who never dared step off the path because she didn’t want to add more stress to an already troubled family dynamic. Bitterness rose.

It wasn’t fair.

I lost so much of my youth trying to be perfect. It was a role I didn’t know how to stop playing. I push down on the accelerator and open up the engine. It purrs in response, and I smile. I pull into the parking lot ready for a battle. This war was over my life; losing was not an option. I mentally prep my speech as I am led through the process required to meet up with Calla. I pray she will see me. She can be a snotty bitch like that when she wants to be, but I know she hasn’t had many visitors outside of Mom, who could be stifling.

The metal is cool against my heated clothing as I sink on my side in the chair with my hands in my lap. This moment had been years in the making. With the way we left things my last visit, I wasn’t sure which Calla I would be seeing today. The minutes crawl by until finally, I spot her being led in.

She looks smaller, like she’d lost weight. Dark circles rest under her eyes.

Worry rose inside me. I scan her face for any other sign of distress. Finding none, I assume this was a result of the forced detox she’d recently undergone.

Frowning, she sits across from me. “Is there something wrong with my boy?”

The concern in her voice and eyes remind me that a heart still exists beneath the layers of indifference and selfishness. “He’s okay. Better than fine actually. Shadow got out yesterday, and they’re off doing the male bonding thing,” I say with a shrug.

She smiles. “If nothing else, he’s an excellent father.”

“You give him too little credit.”

“Well, he didn’t stay with me, did he?” she snaps.

“That’s what I’m here to talk about. You knew I liked him, didn’t you?”

Her eyes widen. “Did he finally get the balls to tell you the story?” She tilts her head back and releases a wicked cackle.

Her cruel laughter raises chill bumps over my arms. “I want to hear it from you,” I say, giving away nothing.

She smirks.

I lean forward. “Give. Me. The. Truth,” I growl, enunciating every word. “It’s the least you can do.”

I can see the shock in her eyes. I’ve never been aggressive with her, choosing instead to treat her like a sort of wounded being.

“What do you know? Kitty has claws after all,” she whispers.

“Everything I’ve done has been because of you or for you. I never ask for anything. Just this once, can you remember that you’re my big sister, and I’m the one taking care of the mess you left behind, yet again.”

The color drains from her face.

“Did you think I liked this? That this sick, twisted bond between us has been fun for me?” I hiss. “Well, news flash, Calla…it hasn’t. I hate it. It’s been eating me alive from the minute you hit sixteen and decided to show your ass. Then everyone looked to me to offset it. Are you so deluded, self-revolving, and narcissistic that you didn’t see it?”

“A-all I saw was the perfect little angel being praised and held up as the prime example of what one should do.”

“Bullshit,” I spit. “Did you know I liked Shadow?”

“Of course I knew. You weren’t exactly hiding it, all moon eyes and sly glances,” she scoffs. Her lips twist into an ugly sneer, and her eyes narrow into slits.

“And you decided to do what?”

“Show you what it felt like to lose for once. Did you know he wanted you back?” Her voice drops to a raspy whisper. “He told me, the jackass. God, if you could’ve seen his face when he talked about you. Like you were the moon and the stars in the night sky. It made me sick. You were barely seventeen and about to get the very thing no one would give me.”

“What? What could I have possibly gotten?” I croak.

“Respect, love. Real love and the title Old Lady by his choice. I saw it in his eyes. He wanted to claim you, brand you, and keep you all to himself.” She huffs. “You never even wanted that.”

“I wanted Shadow and whatever came with him.”

“You want to know how I did it? I pretended to be you. I crept in, all shy and bumbling, begging him to keep the lights off while I altered my voice to a whisper. Oh, he fell all over himself making it good for you. Touching me with a tenderness I haven’t ever experienced since. Not even from him, the fucking bastard.” Her lower lip trembles.

“Why?”

“Because I could. Because I hate you as much as I love you.”

Her words are a knife to my heart. I can feel my emotions bleeding out of the metaphysical wound she’d inflicted as my psyche screams for relief. Too much all at once. I’m reeling from the attack. “You did this. All I ever wanted was to be your little sister. For you to be happy with me. One day, you just stopped being the Calla I looked to for protection, knowledge, and companionship. I could never figure out what I did.”

“You were born,” she replies coldly.

Tears distort my vision. “I’m done, Calla. I won’t play these games with you anymore. This is your problem. You deal with or don’t. Either way, I’m finished being stuck in the middle.”

She snickers. “Ask Dad. He’ll tell you a story I know you never heard before.”

I push away from the table and stand. “We’re done here.” I tune out her voice as I’m led away by a guard. This is me washing my hands. I’ll send someone else to keep her updated on Bolt’s progress if he doesn’t want to come, but I won’t personally be delivering any tidbits. The hate I witnessed in her heart makes me sick. This is not about competition gone awry. This is a malicious intent to hurt me out of some misguided sense of wrong.

I watched her change damn near overnight. How she could put that on anyone other than herself baffles me. Hearing her side of the story disgusts me.
God, what he must’ve felt waking up to her and later finding out she was carrying his child.
The betrayal burns. I’ve been kidding myself all this time thinking anything other than evil lives inside that woman. I won’t make the same mistake twice.

Stepping out into the sunlight, I am grateful for the heat that rolls over me, chasing away the chill set deep into my bones. I hurry to the car feeling like her malevolent stare is still trained on my back. One roadblock has been removed while a million more lie in wait to trip me up. The saddest part is the majority of them originate in my own skull.