A Lover's Secret (11 page)

She took another towel from the warmer in the bathroom and
wrapped it tight around herself. Then she took what was left of the champagne,
swinging the bottle between two fingers, and ventured to the shimmering,
steaming pool outside, where she found another bottle waiting in an ice bucket,
just like the first.

She slid into the water. So hot. Tiny bubbles formed around
her skin. A smooth stone bench lined the wall of the pool just deep enough that
her breasts bobbed along on the surface, and she settled here, bottle still in
hand. She took a chug and looked upward. The sun had just set, and, if she
squinted, she could see the stars, just winking into view.

A howl cracked the silence. A coyote? A wolf? Jess pressed
her back against the polished stones behind her. Champagne had never tasted so
good and there was something so “un-Jess-like” about chugging it straight from
the bottle. She stood to retrieve the second one and settled back in, deeper
into the pool this time. Her doctor-brain stepped in with its cool logic and
panicky warnings, running down the dangers of drinking, alone, in a hot tub.
Especially one this hot. Extreme hydration. Heart palpitations. Heat
exhaustion. Dangerous increases in core body temperature. And, of course,
drowning.

Jess held the bottle straight in front of her and scoffed.
So innocent looking for such a death trap. There really were so many things to
fear in this world, she thought, and she knew way too much about every single
one. She took another long pull on the bottle, and, before long, she had
successfully drowned out that nagging voice, the one that was always pushing
her away from things, keeping her far from the brink and off to the side, in
the shallow end of life.

Night fell and wreathed her in silence. The stars seemed to
undulate toward her, as she sat staring up at them. After a time, she popped
the second bottle of champagne, and she felt herself getting a tad sleepy. Her
eyelids fuzzy and leaden. She pulled herself out of the water, and curled up,
poolside, just for a moment. A short time later, her eyes blinked open and she
realized she was still alone and she was cold. So very cold, as if her blood
had turned to ice and then her eyes fluttered closed once again.

Jake

Ugh. The taste of copper. Like he had been sucking on dimes.
And his head. What had happened to his head? His eyelids fluttered. Double
vision. Still. Okay. Wait another minute, Jake.

He closed his eyes for a time; how long he didn’t know. When
he opened them again, he forced himself to lift his head, to place his hand on
his scalp. Okay, no blood. Wow. He hadn’t even made it off the front porch. His
entire body was tense. He had forgotten how cold the desert could get at night.

No sound from inside. He rolled to his stomach and pushed
himself up to all fours. He checked his watch. It had been hours. She was
probably sound asleep by now. Sound asleep and hating him.

He swallowed and forced himself to stand, slowly, holding
his head with his hand, as though it might roll off. No more alcohol for him, ever.
At least as long as he was on these new meds. That stuff was brutal. Inhumane.

He slid open the door and saw the curtains billow from the
back wall. He tiptoed past the bedroom, but the bed hadn’t been touched. All of
those rose petals, dispensing the virginal scent of romance, untouched.

Where was she? He pounded toward the back patio. Oh, sweet
Jess. Naked on the cold stone floor. Two bottles. At least she had pulled
herself out. But she was pale. One heel still dangled in the water.

God, what must her body temperature be? Should he dunk her
once again, to warm her quickly? What would that do to her heart? No. He
plucked her from the tile, cradling her in his arms, tight against his chest,
and he carried her to the bedroom. Balancing, he raised one leg high and pushed
back the covers with his foot. Then he nestled her deep inside.

He watched her, breathing hard, until she blinked her eyes
open. Then she fluttered them closed once more.

Jake stripped off his clothes, hurriedly, and spooned tight
against her, kissing at the top of her head, over and over and whispering,
“Please be okay, Jess. Please be okay.”

“You left me,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you,” he said,
tears welling behind his eyelids. “I promise. Tomorrow. I’ll make it up to
you.”

When her breath began to deepen, and he trusted that she was
deep in sleep, he stroked her head, and he began to whisper. There were so many
things he wanted to tell her; so many things he couldn’t. He buried his hand in
her gloriously tousled hair, and he whispered, low, “I’m so sorry, Jess. I’m
sorry it has to be this way. I wish I could tell you… but it would make no
difference anyway. So we have to live for today. For two more perfect days. Two
more beautiful, perfect days.”

***

Jess

The textbooks were right. Drink too much champagne in a hot
tub, and you wake up in a state of acute cephalalgia, otherwise known as the
feeling that a meat cleaver had been delivered, straight through the center of
your skull.

The sun was too bright. She squeezed her eyes shut. How had
she come to be in the bed? Mr. Wonderful must have come back at some point
after all.

His face swam before her eyes then. “Good morning,
beautiful. I think you’re going to want this.” He thrust a glass of water
toward her.

She pressed her lips flat and struggled to a sitting
position.

“How are you feeling?” His tone was bright and cheerful, his
eyes beaming with hopefulness, as though he hadn’t abandoned her the night
before. “I was just about to wake you. I have a perfect day planned for us.”

She scowled. “What happened to you last night? Where did you
go?”

“Yeah…sorry about that.” He looked at the floor. “I
was…putting the final touches on our plans for today, and I got delayed.”

“Oh.” That didn’t sound right. What was going on?

“We have only about ten minutes before our first
appointment, so let’s get up.”

“Where are we going?”

“Can I say that it’s a surprise?”

She groaned and flopped back down in the bed, which she
discovered to be a mistake. The pain in the back of her neck traveled up, up over
the crown of her head where it reverberated for a moment, sending shockwaves
through her sinuses.

“Okay, no more surprises,” he said. “We’re going to the mud
pits. It’s my first stop any time I visit this place.”

“Mud pits?”

“Yes. It’s an experience you won’t forget.”

“Are you going to leave me there?”

“Of course not, Jess. I’m sorry. I’m… sorry. Just, please
get ready? You’ll love this.”

She forced herself to sit up, then. She pulled the sheet
over her chest and finally met his eyes.

“Thanks, Jess,” he said, retreating to the kitchen and
closing the bedroom door softly behind him. She swung her legs to the side of
the bed and stood slowly, tottering for a moment. The room blared in and out
and she felt a wave of nausea. How much had she had to drink? The glass of
water was already helping. She just needed a couple more of those, and she
might feel like the living again.

She rifled through her suitcase for the bathing suit Jake had
bought for her at the airport. Not surprisingly, Jess thought, it was
incredibly tiny. The kind of suit her grandmother would have described as “two
corks and a Band-Aid.” She thought about Grandma now. Was she worried? How Jess
wished she had brought her phone, just to check in. To let Grandma know she was
safe. She
was
safe, wasn’t she?

A thump at the bedroom door. “Almost ready?”

She wriggled into the jeans he had bought for her. A dark
wash, tight. But they would do. Next, she slid on the breezy gingham button
down top. Both pieces were entirely different from anything she would have
picked out for herself. Grandma would not be pleased.

Jess opened the door then, trying not to notice the way
Jake’s eyes moved up and down the length of her body, but her stomach lurched
in spite of herself. The cart had already arrived in front of the house to take
them to the main spa area, where a petite brunette stood waiting. She snaked
her way through a series of stone walls and stopped just before an elliptical pool
of bubbling, simmering mud.

“I will retrieve you in two hours’ time,” she whispered.
“Please be mindful that this is a public area and there may be children
present.” She flashed her eyes at Jake, who nodded and grinned. Then the woman
disappeared, leaving them alone.

“I’ll slather your entire body,” Jake said. “Then you’ll do
me, and we’ll bake in the sun.”

“And what does this do for us?” Jess asked. Her head was
still pounding.

Jake laughed and looked at her sideways, as though the
answer to her question was obvious. He held her gaze for a moment, and then he
said, “It helps your body to release toxins. You will be glowing from head to
toe when we’re done.”

“Does it cure a hangover?”

“Well, it can’t hurt. Plus it will get you relaxed and ready
for the next bit of action I have planned for you today.”

An image flashed through her mind, then, of the two of them,
back in the room. His naked body hulking over her. What did the next bit of
action entail?  

Jess turned away then and removed her clothing, folding it
on the chair, and adjusting the twin triangles of her swimsuit top. She glanced
back at him and watched his eyes run over her.

“Good God,” he said. “You look… amazing.”

She flushed and looked downward. “How do we do this? Where
do I stand?” she asked.

“Walk straight into the mud pool.” He squinted toward her.
“But do it slow. So I can watch you.”

She did as she was told, tiptoeing silently into the
blurping, warm clay. It was a strangely fulfilling sensation, as though she
were being encased in warmth and goodness.

Jake followed, standing beside her now. She met his gaze
and, not taking his eyes from hers, he bent slightly to scoop the mud into his
palm. Then he glided his hands over her shoulders, down her arms, squeezing
lightly at her triceps. Next, he slathered her legs, her upper thighs, moving
slowly up to her waist and then to her breasts, which heaved toward him as he
caressed her. Then he covered her face, delicately, smoothly, sliding the mud
evenly over her cheekbones, the bridge of her nose, her forehead.

“My turn,” she whispered, feeling the clay already growing
tight on her face. She spread the mud up, up over his knees and his thighs. She
started with his calves and his hamstrings, then his abs, and his chest. She
explored his back with her fingertips, moving the mud in small circles. He let
out a soft moan, and closed his eyes while she moved her fingers up along the
back of his neck.

Once they were entirely covered, they moved, silently, to
where the morning sun was bleating down upon the stone. There they lay flat on
their backs on the warmed and polished terra cotta tile.

Everything went still and she lay motionless. She may have
fallen asleep and she was willing to bet that Jake had when the ponytailed
woman came back. Jess’s face felt crackly in the sun, but there was an energy,
too, just beneath it—a feeling of freedom, as though, once she sloughed off
this mud, the heaviness that had burdened her for weeks, months, years, would
be whisked away.

They were led to a powerful shower to rinse, one at a time.
Jess washed the clay from her body. She worked from her legs to her neck, and,
knowing he was watching her, she took her own breasts in her hands, clutching
them and marveling at how easy it was to make him groan with desire.

When they were dry, and she had slipped on her jeans again,
Jake made an announcement. “The next experience I have planned is unlike
anything you’ve ever done before. That I can guarantee.”

She swallowed.
Please let it be to take me back to the
room and have your way with me
. But he went on. “We’re going to jump out of
a plane, Jess. Together.” His eyes gleamed.

“No we’re not,” Jess said, crestfallen.

“Sure we are. It’s all set.”

“No, we’re really not, Jake.”

“It’s not a big deal, Jess.”

“It’s a huge deal. You have to take lessons before you do
that.”

“No, no. We just go with someone. A professional. He’ll do
everything. All you have to do is go along for the ride.”

“I hate heights, Jake. Really. I don’t want to do that. Save
it for your bachelor parties.”

“What if I told you that you
had
to?” His eyes
danced. “What if I
forced
you?”

“I’d tell you to go to hell.”

He laughed. “Are you finding your voice all of a sudden,
Jess Madigan?”

Was he patronizing her? How she hated that. “My voice,” Jess
said, “was never missing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Quite sure. But you may not have noticed because you go and
do whatever you want. For example…” Jess took a deep breath. “You left me last
night. I haven’t forgotten that. I probably won’t
ever
forget that.”

When he didn’t answer, she went on, “Even Elizabeth says you
don’t follow instructions very well.”

“Oh yeah?” Jake snorted. “When did she tell you that?”

“Yesterday. Outside the hotel.”

“What else did she tell you?”

Jess shrugged.

“I would like to know, Jess. What else did she tell you?”

“Nothing, really. And no matter what you say or do, I’m not
going skydiving.”

 “Tell you what…Let’s get something to eat and we’ll discuss
it. There’s something about bathing in mud that makes me ravenous.”

She nodded and he took her hand as they crossed the tiled
plaza to the restaurant, which was dark inside and smelled of roasted garlic,
chili peppers and freshly cut flowers.

“The blue corn pancakes are the best here,” he whispered,
and this is what she ordered, but all she really wanted was a towering cup of
coffee and a handful of ibuprofen. Her head was still pounding.

Once the waitress had disappeared, Jake sat back in his
chair and crossed his arms. After a time, he said, “You seem different since
last night.”

“Do I?”

“Yes. Are you really that upset?”

She nodded. “Kind of.”

“Well, I said I was sorry.”

“I remember you saying that, last night, as well as a few
other things, in fact.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Like what?”

“Something about there being things you wish you could tell
me. But you couldn’t.”

He laughed. “I think you dreamed that.”

“No, I didn’t.”  

His eyes lowered, and he pulled at his collar. “I don’t have
any secrets, Jess.”

“If you want me to use my voice, Jake, here it goes: I’m not
going anywhere with you today until you tell me what’s going on with you.” Once
she started talking, she couldn’t stop. “There is something about you that
everyone seems to know but me. You haven’t told me a single thing about your
life, and if you want this to work, like you say you do, you’re going to need
to spill it.”

He bugged his eyes out at her. “But we talked all night,
Jess. The other night, after the wedding. We talked for hours…and hours.”

“No,
I
talked. You didn’t say a word.”

“I find that’s what most people like. To talk. To have
someone listen.”

Jess nodded. “I won’t lie to you. That’s exactly what I
wanted. And exactly what I needed. It helped me. It relieved a… sense of
burden. So let me do the same for you. Share your world me.”

“There’s nothing to tell, Jess. I’m an open book.”

“No. I vividly remember your hand in my hair, your breath on
the back of my neck, and then…okay, first, you said that you were sorry. What
are you sorry for, Jake, and what are you afraid to tell me?”

He shook his head.

“I think I deserve to know. Unless I’m not important enough
to know. Unless I’m just another girl in an endless parade of girls. Just
another conquest.”

“No.” His laugh sounded forced. “You certainly aren’t that.”