A Man's Heart (28 page)

N
ervous as a setting hen with a fox in the hen house. Tense as a ball of wire. Edgy as a cat watching a rat hole. Every simile Jules had ever heard raced through her mind as she dressed Monday night. She discarded a third blouse; neckline too low. She couldn't dress provocatively. Cruz would hate that. She picked up a pink blouse, held it to her chest and studied the mirror. He liked her in pink.

She tossed it aside and reached for the black one. Black. Classy. Made a statement without being overt. She studied her jeans. Should she wear a skirt? Something loose and feminine. She tossed it aside. He rarely saw her in a dress or skirt. Her intent would be too obvious. Casual. She had to keep this meeting casual and informative only.

Crystal carried a sleeping Olivia to her bed, glancing in Jules's room as she passed. Jules smiled.

“Are you going out tonight?”

“For a while. I'll be back in an hour or so.”

Grinning, Crystal paused. “Big date?”

“Not really.” Jules picked up a new pair of silver loop earrings
and inserted them in her lobes. “I'm meeting Cruz at The Grille.”

“Cruz.” Crystal's grin deepened into outright teasing.

“Purely business.” Crystal might not view her objective as professional, but in truth it was.

“Jules.”

Jules turned to look at her. “Yes?”

“Have a great time.”

Her cheeks turned hot when she heard complete sincerity in her sister's voice. “Thanks. When I'm with Cruz …”

“You feel complete.”

Nodding, Jules felt tears surface. She felt complete. How did Crystal know?

Crystal continued down the hallway, and Jules finished dressing, wondering how all of a sudden Crystal had turned into a confidant.

Few pickups sat around The Grille this evening. In this community, folks ate early and then went home to watch television. She spotted Cruz near the pool table talking to a friend. When the bell over the door tinkled he glanced up.

Why hadn't she worn the pink blouse? Black made her look staid — incapable of compromise.

Finishing his conversation, Cruz walked to meet her. “What happened to the arm sling?”

“I don't need it. It was just a small sprain.” And she couldn't try on clothes with her arm fastened to her side. She indicated the closest booth. “Want to sit here?”

“Sure.” He hung his hat on the peg beside the booth, and then slid in the worn leather. She sat across from him.

“Are you hungry?”

“No.” She couldn't force a bite down her throat. “Just coffee.”

He motioned for two coffees and Nick nodded. Cruz's gaze shifted back to hers. “What's up?”

She'd hoped to chat a bit, loosen the apprehension. It wasn't every day she attempted something this … stupid? She brushed the worry aside and dove in.

“Have you noticed how close Adan and Crystal have become lately?”

He appeared to consider the question. “No. Why?”

“Well, they are. They're together a lot and at least two or three times a week he comes over to watch a movie with her and the kids.”

“He likes movies.”

“I'm thinking the relationship is more than one based on a mutual passion for movies.”

“Adan and Crystal?” Cruz laughed.

“Laugh if you want, but I think the relationship is getting serious.” If she blatantly pointed out the developing relationship he'd see the risk. Cruz loved those children and he wouldn't hand them over easily, even though Adan was his brother.

Leaning back in the booth, Cruz fixed on her. His irrepressibly good looks unnerved her. He was dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt, his hair still damp from a shower. He didn't go near a gym, but his forearms were as large and powerful as any weight lifter. The light scent of cologne—or deodorant — filled her senses and strengthened her. When he sobered, she figured he'd caught her point.

“What happens if Crystal and Adan get married and take the children?” she baited.

“What happens? Our problems are solved. Sophie would like that. The kids would have a good home, and Adan would make a great father. You've seen how Crystal takes to Olivia and Ethan.”

“And you'd want that?”

“Want my sister's kids to have a good home? Yes, I want that. Don't you?”

“I love those children too — and so do you.”

“It isn't as though Adan and Crystal would take them away. This is and always will be their home.”

“Here isn't Crystal's home. She lives in Florida.”

“But she was raised here.”

“Yes, and Pop wasn't her dad.”

The bombshell momentarily halted the tense exchange.

He frowned. “Come again?”

“You heard me. Pop wasn't Crystal's father. That's why he left Blue Bayou to me. Seems Mom's fling with the seasonal worker resulted in Crystal.”

“Good grief, Jules.”

“I know.” The coffee arrived and she reached for the sugar shaker. “I was shocked, but Crystal's okay with it. Apparently Mom told her—and it explains a lot of things. All the tension we lived under, the arguments, Pop always closer to me than Crystal.”

Cruz picked up his cup and took a sip.

Fishing in her purse, she removed a small box and extended it. “It's Pop's watch.”

Emotion flickered across Cruz's face. He carefully opened the box and stared at the pocket watch, tarnished with age. Silence fell between them. Finally, he cleared his throat.
“Thanks. Your dad meant a lot to me. I'll pass this on to my boy someday.”

“You're going to have boys?” They wouldn't be hers.

“Or my daughter.” He pocketed the watch and she returned to the prior subject.

“The point I'm trying to make is, this isn't Crystal's home and she loves Florida. What if she and Adan marry and decide to give up potato farming?”

He shook his head. “Adan would be miserable in Florida. Farming's in his blood.”

“Maybe, but a wife is very persuasive. Do you want Sophie's kids living thousands of miles away?”

“What can I do to prevent it? Adan's his own man, and if what you say is true, I can't stop him—wouldn't try. He's old enough to know his mind.”

“There is another way.”

“What? Find
him
another woman?” His teasing eyes met hers. Hers sobered.

“What's that look supposed to mean?”

“It means there's another way.” She drew a deep breath. “If … if we were to pick up where we left off years ago —”

“Hold it.”

She met his gaze. “Hear me out.”

“Not if it leads to where I think you're going.”

“If we were to set our past aside — for the children's sake and …” She was actually suggesting this to him? “… lay aside our differences and marry, we could raise the children together.”

He was silent so long she thought he might get up and walk out on her. Finally he cleared his throat and said, “What
about love? Don't you think Olivia and Ethan deserve to have parents that love each other?”

“I have no problem with loving you.” There. The admission wasn't new to him. She'd said it once in anger, and now she'd stated it in truth. She swallowed. “Do you?”

“Are you asking me if I love you?”

“Yes.”

He stared at his cup, muscles working in his jaw. “I never stopped.”

Her heart took wing. “Nor did I. Not for a moment.”

Finally he lifted his eyes. “You have a strange way of loving.”

The second parting flashed before her eyes. He'd said that when she was ready to settle down to let him know. Well. She was ready. She cleared her throat. “I didn't back out because I didn't love and adore you. You know why I walked away the last time.”

“You chose your father over me.”

“Technically, that's true. I saw us as responsible adults who loved each other so deeply we could endure a small delay. I chose responsibility over my desires. I loved you so much that I thought you would always wait for me.”

“Honestly, Jules? I don't know where you got that notion. I'm a man. A man who loved you so much it hurt. I would have worked with you any way I could to help Pop, but not to the point of sticking around indefinitely, waiting for you to decide where your loyalty laid. The second time you walked, I saw where that loyalty was and it wasn't with me.”

“It's always black or white with you, Cruz. Life does have gray areas.”

“Mine doesn't.”

She sighed. “I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Leaving you twice are the biggest ones. Crystal's the third. I've never tried to form a relationship with her — not really. I resented her for going with Mom; I resented that she got to lie on the beach while I worked my hands raw in the potato field. The way you resent me for staying with Pop.” She tentatively reached out to touch his hand and he drew back.

“Will you marry me?” she asked.

“You're proposing?” He shifted, clearly unsettled by the turn in conversation.

“I'm asking you to marry me. Tonight. We can fly to Vegas and —”

“Vegas!” His features darkened.

“It's not the ideal … setting, but we could marry quickly. Sophie's kids would be ours, and everyone could get back to living normal lives.”

Sitting back in the booth, he studied her. “Vegas. When I marry, the ceremony is not going to be by an Elvis lookalike in Vegas. It's going to be right here where I've been born and raised, by Reverend Williams, probably in the fancy new addition provided by you and your sister.”

“Lucille Miller. It's
Lucille's
mattress money.”

“Whatever.”

“Okay. We could apply for a marriage license here. It doesn't have to be a big wedding, something small.”

He caught her wrist, holding it gently. “Look. When I get married I'll do the proposing.” His features softened. “I can't marry you, Jules. We've been down that road twice.”

Her pleading eyes met his. “Are you ever going to forgive me, Cruz? The Bible speaks of forgiving seventy times seven.”

“I forgive you, Jules. I had to or lose my mind, but my
problem is I can't forget. We've tried this Jules and Cruz thing all of our lives —”

“Almost all of our lives,” she corrected.

“Okay, I'll concede that I've loved you from the minute I saw you in the churchyard, nine years old, wearing a pink dress and pink ribbon in your hair.”

Pink.
She knew she should have worn pink.

“Love can overcome a lot of things, but it's hard to conquer memory. I can't trust you, Jules. And marriage is based on trust and mutual respect.”

She pulled back. A tight lump formed in her throat. He was saying that she wasn't trustworthy. “You know how hard it is for me to make a decision and stick with it.”

“And I'm bullheaded, and refuse to fall into the same trap twice—no, three times.” His eyes softened. “But I have a bigger problem. I was going to take care of this myself, but since you'll find out anyway, you might as well hear it from me.”

“What?” Her heart throbbed. Had he found a woman he wanted to marry this soon?

“I got a call from Matt Parker's mother a couple of days ago.”

“Livvy's paternal grandmother?” The very thing Sophie feared would happen. Somehow Sophie's ex had heard about her death.

“Matt's mother,” Cruz confirmed.

“What does she want? Matt's given up his paternal rights.”

“I'm not sure. I fly to Waco day after tomorrow to talk to her.”

“Matt wants Olivia—he can't have her. Sophie made me promise —”

“I don't know what his mother wants; she wouldn't say. She wants to talk in person.”

That sounded serious. “I'll go with you.”

“You're not invited.”

“Please let me go.” She met his steady gaze. “You're still recuperating. You can't carry luggage —”

“It's an overnight trip. I can handle a backpack and you have a sprained arm.”

“Cruz—” Leaning closer, she pressed. “I promised Sophie I wouldn't let Jake or Matt take either of the children. You know both men are worthless excuses for men, not to mention fathers.”

“I don't know that Matt is claiming his rights.”

“Let me go with you.”

“Last minute airfare will cost you a fortune.”

“I have a fortune—or my sister does.”

He looked away. His expression clearly said he didn't want her company, but he also knew Sophie would want her input. He turned back. “I leave on a 6:00 a.m. flight.”

“I'll be ready. Do you want me to meet you at the airport?”

He shook his head. “I'll pick you up.”

Smiling, she slid out of the booth. “I'll be ready.”

S
tars hung overhead when they entered the Tri-Cities terminal. Jules checked the departure board to see if the Delta flight was on time. It was.