A Matter of Principle (43 page)

Sydney looked at Rickard, her expression as tender as it could be. “No.”

“
So, what happens?” Nicolas’s shock blanched his face. Even the scar on his cheek was invisible. “Will the child die?”

Sydney faced him, wordless.

“
If the child cannot come out, and dies inside her, she will die. Is that the way of it, Sydney?” Bronnie’s sweet voice carried Lily’s condemnation.

“
Oh, God! No!” Rickard wailed. “No matter how she has behaved, this is not what I wanted to happen!”

“
We know, Rick,” Nicolas’s voice carried weight. “None of us did.”

“
Is there nothing at all that might be done?” Bronnie asked.

“
I can try to stretch the opening. The scar tissue may give… or it might tear. But either way, it will be extremely painful,” Sydney answered.

“
Can anything be given for the pain?” Sir Ezra asked.

“
There is nothing but laudanum. Normally I would say no, a woman needs to have her wits about her to birth a child. But now…” Sydney shrugged. “I don’t know what to say.”

“
You have experienced this before?” Ezra pressed.

“
Yes, Sir. In Norway.”

“
How did it end?”

Sydney looked to Nicolas for strength. His nod was imperceptible to all but her. “The women and the babies all died.”

No one spoke.

No one moved.

No one breathed.

“
Get the laudanum,” Sir Ezra instructed.



Lily took the laudanum willingly; anything to stop her agony. Rickard was allowed into the room briefly, to speak to her. Berta O’Shea left the room to eat and use the privy. Once Lily was insensible, Sydney pulled out her stethoscope and pressed it to Lily’s belly, just as Berta returned.

“
What sort of witch’s contraption is that?” Berta demanded.

“
It’s called a stethoscope, Berta. It allows me to hear the baby’s heart.” Sydney held it out to the other midwife. “Would you care to listen?”

Berta narrowed her eyes, but curiosity pushed her forward. She pressed her ear to the tube and her jaw dropped. “I hear two rhythms,” she squeaked.

“
One should be Lily’s. The stronger one.”

Berta straightened and handed the wooden device to Sydney with a look of begrudging respect. “Thank you. That was interesting.”

“
I believe the child is still healthy,” Sydney said to Bronnie. “I’ll try to stretch her now.”

Bronnie nodded. Taycie took the stethoscope and held it as if it were magic. Even through the drug, Lily moaned in pain. Sydney was not making headway; the scar tissue was not elastic at all. She was afraid that if she pushed too hard, the womb would tear and Lily would bleed to death on the spot. After almost an hour, she stopped.

Bronnie handed her a damp towel and she wiped perspiration from her face and neck. “What will we do now?” Bronnie whispered.

“
Gather the men,” Sydney said. She slumped into a chair, defeated.

“
I thought as much,” Berta mumbled. Though she was not of any use, she refused to leave. Sydney supposed the woman was collecting more evidence against her, but at the moment she was beyond caring.

Sydney spoke to Taycie, “If she begins to wake, give her a teaspoon more of the laudanum.”

“
Yes, ma’am.”

In the hall outside Lily’s room, the mood of the impromptu conference was somber. Sydney explained that the baby’s heart was still beating well, but she was afraid to tear Lily’s womb and cause her to bleed to death.

“
May I ask you some rather harsh questions?” Sir Ezra addressed Sydney.

“
Of course, Sir.”

“
Is there any way to save Lily, if the child dies?”

Sydney shook her head. “No, Sir, there is not.”

He nodded, paused, and then asked, “Is there a way to save the child, if Lily dies?”

Sydney’s gaze flicked to Nicolas, Rickard and back to Sir Ezra. “It would seem there might be…”

“
The foal.” All eyes turned to Nicolas. “Last fall you cut open a mare and delivered a healthy foal,” he reminded them.

“
But that was an animal!” Sydney objected. “This is a human being!”

“
This is
two
human beings,” Nicolas corrected.

“
And one dies, or they both die,” Sir Ezra observed. “Is that not what you just explained?”

Black dots surrounded Sydney’s vision again and she knew she might faint. She swayed. Bronnie and Nicolas grabbed her elbows and lowered her to the floor. She leaned against her husband’s sturdy frame.

“
You are asking me to kill Lily,” she rasped, horrified.

Nicolas lifted her chin. “Look at me,
min presang
.”

Sydney gazed into Nicolas’s deep blue eyes. He held her there. She rested in them, drew strength from them.

“
No one will ask you to do anything that you cannot live with for the rest of your life. Do you understand me?” he murmured.

Sydney nodded, not breaking their visual bond.

“
What are the choices?” he prompted. “What will happen if you do nothing?”

“
They will both die,” she whispered.

“
And are you able to get the babe out of the womb safely? Without harming Lily?”

Sydney’s face twisted and she began to cry. “No-o-o-o,” she wailed.

Nicolas pulled her into his arms and held her while she sobbed without control. She could smell the coffee and brandy on his breath, and wood smoke in his clothes. She wished to stop time and remain inside the fortress of his arms forever. She did not want to face what was coming.

“
Sydney?” She felt Nicolas’s bass voice vibrate in his chest.

When he drew a breath to address her again, she answered, “What?”

“
The question appears to be: might you save the child?” he asked tenderly.

“
The only chance is if Lily dies.”

“
Isn’t she already dying?” Rickard asked softly. His quiet voice startled Sydney; she forgot he was there.

She looked to Sir Ezra. “What would you have me do, Sir?”

He spoke without hesitation. “Save the child. Lily is dead either way.”

Chapter Thirty Two

April 29, 1822

Cheltenham

Sydney stood beside Lily’s bed. She had Nicolas’s dirk hidden in her midwife’s apron pocket. Bronnie held her hand.

“
I wish Father Mueller was here,” Sydney said.

“
Lily has made her peace with God,” Bronnie replied. “Or she never knew Him to begin with. There’s nothing more to be done for that now.”

Lily’s lips were blue, and her perfect skin sagged, greenish and slack, from her cheekbones. Her chest rose and fell, with longer spaces between. Then her chest didn’t rise.

“
Lily!” Bronnie shouted. She grabbed the younger woman’s shoulders and shook her. “Lily!”

Sydney could not delay. She threw the sheets back and lifted the knife.

“
What in God’s name are you doing?” Berta O’Shea screamed.

Sydney bit her lips together and felt for Lily’s womb. She pushed the blade into Lily’s belly. Lily gasped loudly, and did not move again. The breath hissed out between her teeth.

“
You have killed her!” Berta accused, backing away. “Murderess! Witch!”

Sydney drew the blade across Lily’s abdomen and pushed her hand into the gash. She felt a leg. Gripping it as hard as she could, she pulled. She dropped the knife to the floor and reached in with her other hand. Straining against the opening she wiggled the tiny vernix- and blood-smeared body out.

He was blue and not breathing.

Sydney squeezed his chest. Liquid gushed out his mouth and nose. Taycie appeared by her side with clean cloths and she began to wipe the boy’s face. Sydney let go and the ribs rebounded, drawing in air.

Nothing.

She did it again. “God in Heaven, make him breath!” she prayed aloud. Not yet. Berta O’Shea slid across the room, past the bed, and huddled by the door.

One more time.

This time a wail of indignation squeaked from the small body. Taycie rubbed him hard with the cloths and his skin grew slowly pink. She dried his thick, black hair. His cries gained strength. Sydney tied off the cord and cut it with her small midwife’s knife. He opened one muddy blue eye, then the other.

Sydney fell against Bronnie and the women embraced.

“
Thank You, Father! Thank You!” Sydney cried over and over.

Unable to wait, Rickard threw the door open and Berta O’Shea slipped out. One look at the still, mutilated body of his sister answered his first question.

Bronnie’s cry of, “It’s a boy!” answered his second.

“
A boy?” Sir Ezra pushed past Rickard. “I have a son?”

“
Yes, Sir.” Sydney lifted the baby from the bed and handed him, naked, to the man who would raise him. “He’s small because he’s early. But he seems strong enough.” She pulled the sheets up to veil Lily’s indecency.

Sir Ezra Warpold Kensington stared at the tiny wrinkled creature in his hands. “What do I do with him?” he asked, mystified.

“
Hire a wet nurse, first off.” Sydney advised. “Did Lily lay in a supply of diaper clouts? Or baby clothes?”

Ezra’s blank, slack-jawed response seemed to indicate that she had not.

“
I can help you with that,” Bronnie offered. “For tonight, I will loan you some of Glynnis’ newborn things.”

“
Th-thank you,” he stuttered. Then he looked at his wife, and shook his head. “She was never satisfied…” he murmured. Taycie retrieved the baby and swaddled him.

“
Do you have a name for him?” Bronnie asked.

“
No.” Ezra shook his head. “I thought I did, but I might think differently.”



Nicolas did not enter the room until everyone else had left. He stood beside the bed, staring down at the young woman who looked exactly like her older sister had at that age. Her older sister, his beloved first wife, who died birthing his son.

Now the younger was gone as well. Though under different circumstances, killed by the same life event.

She was pale, cold. Her eyes slitted slightly, though no moisture reflected light. Her skin was gray, her parted lips colorless. The sheet over the gash Sydney made to save the baby was stained with brown-edged patches of watery red.

He felt Sydney’s hand slip into his. He squeezed it gently, but did not look away.

“
I cannot breathe to think of you like this,” he whispered.

“
I’ll not die this way, Nick!” she retorted. “I know that well, and you would too, if you considered it. Mistakes were made. I’ll not make them.”

Nicolas glanced at her and nodded. “She was a sad young woman, Sydney. She had everything given to her, but it was never enough.”

“
It is the happier man who is hungry and appreciates bread, than the one who is satiated and wants dessert
,” Sydney replied.

Nicolas nodded. “Very wise. Who said that?”

“
My father.”

Nicolas smiled. “I like your father.”

“
Me, too.”

Nicolas faced her then. “You had no other choice, you know.”

Sydney nodded. “She stopped breathing before I cut her.”

He looked back at Lily. “I suppose that makes it easier, in some ways.”

“
In
all
ways,” Sydney responded. She turned to Nicolas, her gray-green eyes underlined in purple half-circles.

“
Might we please go home now?”

May 1, 1822

Cheltenham

Lily’s funeral was held on the Atherton estate at eleven o’clock in the morning and she was buried alongside her father. Pastor Fritz Mueller presided. He gave a moving message about contentment. Rickard gave the eulogy. The sky was a mild blue, the color of Lily’s eyes, and a cool breeze kept those in attendance from overheating in the midday sun.

The crowd was larger than Rickard and Bronnie expected; Lily certainly did not have that many friends in Cheltenham. Nor did Sir Ezra, her enigmatic North Carolina husband. Perhaps they were drawn by rumors of murder or witchcraft. In that event, Nicolas and Sydney maintained their dignity throughout. Gracious and respectfully somber, they repeated their sorrow over the loss of such a fine young woman, standing shoulder to shoulder with Rickard or Sir Ezra.

“
At least the child survived,” was the constant reminder. “He is small, but healthy.”

Betsy, Rickard’s kitchen slave, oversaw a feast worthy of a queen and everyone departed with full bellies and kind words. When the last guest left, Rickard pulled Nicolas and Sir Ezra into his study. He handed out brandies and cigars, lighting them with a piece of tinder from the fire.