A Perfect Obsession (31 page)

‘Oh, really?’

‘Yes,’ said Henry, with a smile of satisfaction. ‘I had lunch with Peter Weir yesterday, from 3 Wessex Street, and he’s prepared to make the move with Maurice Faber and the rest. I reckon we’re rather lucky, really. He’s got a good style about him, should bring in the business. And the advantage is he’s used to looking after this new lot. Bit of a turn-up, eh, sir?’

‘Yes, well done, Henry. Bringing on board someone who’s already used to Maurice Faber’s gentle ways is certainly a good thing. Doesn’t Peter Weir work on a commission basis, though?’

‘No, salary. So that should be straightforward enough.’

‘Fine. What do Felicity and Robert think?’

‘Haven’t had the chance to tell them yet, sir. I think they’ll rub along nicely with him, though. He’s quite a charming
bloke, Peter.’ It had occurred to Henry that Peter Weir might be a bit too charming where Felicity was concerned, but he wasn’t much worried. The bloke was married with kids, after all.

Leo went up to his room and sorted out various papers for a while. After half an hour he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. The bank had confirmed that the funds were in place, all he had to do was write the cheque. He did so reluctandy, detesting having to write out Gideon’s name, then the ghastly amount. It was worth it, though, if it would buy silence, and those wretched photos. For the thousandth time, Leo was plagued with misgivings. He should go to the police, he knew, expose everything that Gideon was doing – not just to him, but probably to nameless others as well. Yet he folded the cheque, slid it into an envelope, sealed it, and wrote Gideon’s name and the Ealing address on the front. He sat back in his chair and stared at it, remembering Gideon as he had been at twenty. Bizarre, really, that it had come to this.

He glanced at his watch and saw that it was after six. It would just have to go with tomorrow’s post. He was in no hurry to enrich Gideon Smallwood. He took the letter down to the clerks’ room and dropped the envelope in the post tray, then went back upstairs. He closed the door to his room and went to the window. There he stood for a long time, thinking about something else entirely.

‘Have you had a row?’ asked Jane.

‘No,’ replied Camilla shortly. She was sitting on the windowsill in the kitchen, her back to the open window, her bare feet propped up on the table. The weather was
sultry, and she had changed from her oppressive black suit into combat trousers and a crop top. She had eaten two bananas and a yoghurt in the hope of avoiding Jane’s cross-examination over supper later, but Jane started to badger her as soon as she got in. Camilla’s disappearance to her parents for the weekend, and Leo’s phone calls, had put her into a state of greedy curiosity.

‘So what
has
happened?’

‘I told him I didn’t want to see him any more. Not because we had a row, but because – well, just because.’

‘There must be a reason why—’

‘Jane! I don’t want to discuss it any more! OK?’

‘OK, don’t get stressy. I just thought it might help to talk about it.’

The doorbell rang, and Jane went to answer it. She buzzed Leo up and waited at the door to let him in, because she wanted to get a good look at him up close. She’d only seen him around the Temple now and then from a distance.

‘Is Camilla here?’ asked Leo, who had hoped to find Camilla on her own.

Oh, yes, thought Jane, he was the business. Not very tall, but obviously in good shape for his age, fantastic bones, knockout eyes, and that silver hair … It took her a second to recover herself. ‘Yes, go through. She’s in the kitchen.’

Camilla was just scraping the last bits from her yoghurt pot when Leo appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. She could feel herself going pink, and could think of nothing at all to say.

Jane was hovering around in the living room in the background, hoping to pick up snatches of what was
clearly going to be an interesting conversation.

‘I’d like to talk to you, if I may.’ Leo’s tone was quite businesslike, even a little stern.

‘Right,’ said Camilla uncertainly. She hadn’t ever seen him look quite like this before.

‘Let’s go for a walk,’ he said, glancing over his shoulder at Jane.

Camilla slid off the windowsill and slipped on some shoes. They went downstairs together and out into the street, leaving a disappointed Jane watching them from a window above.

They walked down the dusty street for fifty yards or so. Camilla wondered when Leo was going to say anything.

At last Leo stopped on the pavement and turned to her. ‘The first thing I need to know is whether those things which Sarah told you have made it impossible for you to care for me.’ It was blunt, almost awkward, and Camilla took a few seconds to answer.

‘They made it – they made it seem like a bad idea, that’s all.’

They walked on a little further, as Leo pondered this. ‘You’re right. I’m certainly not to be recommended …’ He stopped again. ‘If I said that I wanted to change everything, that I wanted my life to become ordinary and – well, uncomplicated, whatever … Would you be prepared to love me?’

‘I didn’t say I didn’t love you. I only said I thought it wasn’t a good idea. I can’t help what I feel. Leo, I love you anyway, whatever you are. I just don’t want you to do me any harm.’

‘Oh, dear God …’ murmured Leo, and looked across at the sun dipping behind the roofs of Clapham. ‘I have thought about nothing but this all day—’

‘No, you haven’t. You’ve spent all day ignoring me and worrying about Mr Long’s finality statement and the letter that Beddoes claims went missing.’

‘Well … Up to a point, obviously.’ Leo frowned. ‘I haven’t
ignored
you. How can you say I’ve ignored you when I’ve been thinking all day about marrying you? When I haven’t been worrying about Mr Long’s finality statement, of course.’

Camilla stared at him. ‘You don’t mean that. You’re just saying that because of what I said last night.’

‘Well, of course that’s why. I said, how can I make you believe I love you, and you said, marry me. So there we are. Marry me.’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you don’t mean it. Because it wouldn’t have entered your head if I hadn’t said it. And I wasn’t being serious.’

‘You might not have been. I am.’ They were standing outside a greengrocer’s and an elderly man had to inch past them on the pavement to get by. ‘Sorry,’ murmured Leo, stepping back.

‘You love me enough to want me – for good?’ asked Camilla, astonished by everything Leo had said.

‘Well … It does sound rather extreme, doesn’t it? No, no, don’t look like that. I do mean it. If you’re prepared to accept me as I am, which is all the things Sarah told you
and far worse besides …’ He stopped, because Camilla had offered her face up to be kissed, and he had to kiss her.

‘You don’t have to marry me, Leo,’ said Camilla.

‘I think I do. I don’t much care for the idea of living without you, you see. Let me take you back to your flat. You can pack your things and come with me. It’s as easy as that.’

‘No, it’s not. There’s the rent and everything.’

‘I will pay the rent a hundred times over. Tell Jane to send every damn bill to me.’ And Leo kissed her again.

They talked late into the night.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone so much about myself,’ said Leo at last. He turned to look at Camilla, who had been lying next to him, staring at the ceiling as she listened. He leant across and kissed her. ‘Was it all as bad as you expected?’

‘I don’t know … Not all of it. Not the bit about your aunts in Wales. I think I’d rather forget the rest.’ Leo smiled.

‘There was one thing you failed to explain,’ added Camilla.

What?’

‘Motives. Everyone has motives for the way they behave.’

God, she was sharp, thought Leo. ‘Not necessarily. Some people are just careless, thoughtless.’

She turned to look at him. ‘I don’t believe you’re that kind of person. You do things for a reason.’

He was silent for a moment. ‘No, well … I suppose if you investigated even the most irreproachable behaviour in the world, you might find unworthy motives. I’m not going
to explain myself any more. Apart from anything else, I’m too tired. Too tired for talking.’ He drew his fingers lightly across her lips, down over her throat and to her breasts, and she sighed and closed her eyes. ‘So tell me – now that you know the very worst about me,’ said Leo, moving close against her, ‘do you still think you can love me?’

‘Oh, I can love you,’ replied Camilla. ‘I don’t know whether I can trust you. Are you sure there aren’t any more horrible skeletons in your closet?’

Leo put thoughts of Gideon from his mind. He hadn’t told her about that because it was too recent, and, anyway, he trusted that problem was solved. Or would be shortly. ‘None I can think of,’ he said.

‘Promise me,’ she murmured, as his hands moved down across her body, ‘that nothing you do will ever hurt me.’

‘I promise,’ said Leo, without hesitation.

Melissa had taken great pains to ensure that every detail of her affair with Leo had been faithfully chronicled, from the initial rapture to the eventual abuse and cruelty. She dwelt on his infidelities, his neglectful treatment of his son, his jealous rages, his professional insecurity … The final document ran to twenty pages. She photocopied it, folded each copy up, put them in envelopes, and addressed them to the two newspapers which she thought would be most likely to use what she had written. It would be her vindication. Everyone would know the truth, the reason why she had come to this. It was all Leo’s fault. If only he had loved her.

After she had walked to the post box, she came back
to her flat, had a bath, washed her hair, put on the robe she had been wearing on the night that Leo had so cruelly humiliated and rejected her, and settled down on the bed with three-quarters of a bottle of Smirnoff blue label, and a large quantity of prescription tranquillizers.

She was discovered by her cleaning lady at nine-thirty the following morning, apparently dead to the world. The paramedics took her to hospital in an ambulance, and it was found that the overdose she had taken had not been fatal. There was every reason to think that she would make a full recovery, and would be sitting up in no time. That was what the nurses told the reporter who dropped in at the hospital, on the off-chance of something newsworthy, a reporter who happened to work for one of the papers to whom Melissa had posted her missive the previous day.

When he went into chambers next morning, Leo was surprised to see Edward Choke in the reception area, deep in conversation with Anthony.

‘What Chay needs to show, you see, is that the museum collection is of pre-eminent national importance,’ Edward was saying. ‘Then he has to present costings and architectural plans to the Museums, Libraries and Archives Commission, showing how they fit into the overall museum strategy – morning, Leo!’

Leo returned Edward’s cheerful greeting, but noted how Anthony pointedly ignored him. He must do something to repair the relationship. Whatever Anthony might think, Leo needed Anthony’s friendship. He sincerely regretted now that he had ever allowed certain things to happen. He
had no idea how he was going to mend the damage, but it now seemed to him vital that he should. He couldn’t let Anthony go on thinking he didn’t care for him. Things just hadn’t happened at the right time …

On the way upstairs, Leo met Sarah on the landing.

‘Ah, the very person. A word, if I may,’ said Leo, drawing her into his room. He closed the door and leant against it, regarding her stonily. ‘It may interest you to know that your attempt to wreck relations between Camilla and myself was unsuccessful. If you ever try to do anything like that again, however, I will personally make sure you never get work in any set of chambers, nor in any shipping office, nor any P&I club in London. You’re not the only one who can go around damaging people’s reputations.’

Sarah gave him a considering look. ‘How lovely to think of you two as an item. Such a contrast. The worldly, libidinous QC and the sweet, innocent junior. Maybe you see in her some kind of redemption – is that it, Leo? Well, don’t fool yourself. You can’t change that easily. And when you find that out, you’ll still need me. We talk the same kind of language, after all.’

He said nothing, but stepped aside and opened the door for her.

She carried on downstairs, her expression nonchalant, but inside she felt wretched with pain and anger. She’d tried not to let her feelings for Leo go as far as they had, but she’d been helpless to stop them. And now she’d failed entirely. It was something she’d just have to try to get over. After all, he wasn’t the only man in the world. As for Leo’s threats, the last thing in the world she cared about was getting a job
anywhere. No, there had to be other eligible men around, with enough money …

She came to the foot of the stairs and saw Anthony talking to Edward Choke. She watched as they said goodbye to one another, and Anthony went off to the clerks’ room. Just as Edward was about to go through the door, Sarah stepped forward.

‘Edward!’ she said, with a look of delight. Edward turned and beamed at her. ‘I haven’t seen you in ages! Don’t you think it’s time we got together for a drink?’

Leo and Camilla arrived at Chichester Rents half an hour later. As they went up in the lift together, Camilla scanned the front page of the morning paper.

‘Oh, dear,’ she murmured, as a story caught her eye, ‘that would be funny if it wasn’t so awful. Some civil servant has been found dead.
“Sources indicate that death was brought about through auto-erotic asphyxiation. The deceased was dressed in a woman’s corset, and items found near the body, including a bicycle pump and a dog lead, suggest that death was brought about accidentally during a sexual act. Detectives are also investigating allegations that Smallwood, who was known to frequent local gay haunts in Ealing had blackmailed local gay Jewish youths and forced them into sexual encounters by threatening to reveal their sexuality to their parents.”
Wow …’

Leo, who was glancing through some notes, was hardly listening.