A Proscriptive Relationship (59 page)

I blushed deeper, ducking my head. “Why do you need to?” I almost gasped as soon as the question left my lips. Pressing my lips together as tightly as I could, I avoided Mr. Heywood’s gaze. What had I just asked?
Why
had I just asked that?

A sigh left Mr. Heywood’s lips. “Well, that brings us to the second thing I want to talk about . . .”

I looked back up at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

“
Holly, I’m your teacher.”

“
Obviously.”

Mr. Heywood cracked a small grin. “You know there is a strict proscription against relationships between a teacher and student, right?”

“
Right . . .”

“
If we want to be together, it has to stay a secret. Only you and I, Jeremy, Lance, Casey can know. If anyone else finds out, I’ll be fired and you could be expelled.”

“
I already know that,” I responded, frowning slightly. “But what’s that got to do with . . .”

Mr. Heywood held up his finger. “Let me finish. I don’t plan on getting caught, but if we are, and you and I had a more . . . intimate relationship, I’d probably go to jail.”

“
Intimate like . . .?”

“
Physical,” Mr. Heywood responded awkwardly.

Immediately my face felt like it was one fire. I opened my mouth to say something, but my mind had gone completely blank. I should have known what Mr. Heywood meant! Now it was awkward. I struggled to think of something to say. “I, uh, I . . . right. I gotcha,” I muttered, ducking my head. “I don’t . . . I don’t need . . .” I wanted to shoot myself. It wasn’t that embarrassing!

“
We’ll be careful. Until you graduate,” Mr. Heywood continued, smirking at my awkwardness. “Then we can openly be a couple . . . if you want to.”

I looked at him in surprise. “Of course I want to! Why ‘if’?”

He hesitated for a moment, suddenly looking unsure. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Holly . . .”

A frown slowly appeared on my face. He was using his “I have something to say and you might not like it” voice. I hated that voice. I glanced up at him warily. “Yeah?”

He abruptly looked away from me, mumbling something so fast I couldn’t catch it. I squinted at him, cocking my head to the side. “What?”

“
Are you sure that you want to be with me?” he repeated, more clearly, sounding embarrassed.

“
Huh?”

“
I’m not repeating it again,” he snapped, hunching his shoulders.

I shook my head vehemently. “No! I heard you. Why would you ask that? Of course I want to . . .” I trailed off.

“
Even though I’m four years older than you?”

“
For years is nothing,” I assured him, surprised to see such an insecure air about him.

“
And you don’t care about my past?”

“
Not at all.”

“
And you don’t care that I used you as a replacement for Holly in the beginning?”

I cocked my head to the side. “No. Why are you asking all these questions now?”

He kept his head away from me. “I have my doubts too, you know.”

Jeremy’s words suddenly whizzed through my head.
While you doubt yourself, Chris probably doubts himself as well.
I bit my lip hard to keep myself from smiling. Jeremy was right. I wasn’t the only one who had doubts. Mr. Heywood had just seemed so sure of himself, it didn’t seem like he had any doubts, but he was probably thinking the same things as I was.

Running a hand through his hair, he muttered, “I don’t know, Jeremy told me I should tell you this stuff. It really doesn’t suit me.”

I shook my head. “You’re right, it doesn’t.”

He looked at me again, frowning slightly. I smiled at him. “Jeremy said the same thing to me before. That’s why I blurted out all those bad things about me—”

“
Good things,” Mr. Heywood corrected.

I rolled my eyes. “Sure, but my point is that if you hadn’t voiced your doubts out loud, I wouldn’t know.”

“
I don’t mind.”

“
I want you to tell me any time you have doubts,” I insisted. “It’s not fair for you to have to put up with me all the time.”

He smiled slightly. “I don’t ‘put up with you.’ But, since I’m tossing away my . . . machismo right now, I have one more doubt I’d like to ask you about . . .”

“
What?”

“
You don’t care that I’m a lying, devil of a teacher?” he asked, a smirk playing across his features. So much for the insecure air.

I grimaced, remembering my old nickname for him. How had he known? “I don’t . . . I don’t mind.”

“
Good,” he responded. “I wouldn’t let you go, anyway. I’m a shameless man, Holly.”

“
Which is fine, Mr. Heywood,” I responded with a grin.

He smiled smugly at me. “So, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

I stared at him in surprise, taken aback by his forwardness. Another blush spread across my face and I looked away from him. “Yes,” I finally murmured.

“
On one condition then.”

My head snapped up so fast I felt a tiny snap in my neck. I winced, rubbing it with my hand. “Condition?” I repeated incredulously.

“
It’s nothing much,” he assured me with a shrug.

I frowned. “What is it?”

“
From now on, you
have
to call me Chris. I don’t want to have to keep correcting you.”

I blinked. “That’s it?”

“
That’s it,” he responded with a nod. “Easy, right?”

“
That’s too easy, Mr. Heywood!” I responded with a laugh. Then I realized what I said and pressed my lips together tightly.

He snickered, smirking again. “Too easy, huh, Holly?”

I scowled. “Just you wait.”

LESSON forty-one

“
Willis and I broke up.”

My eyes bulged and I nearly choked on the spoonful of French onion soup I was about to swallow. It scalded my mouth and I quickly swallowed, my eyes tearing up. “What?” I finally choked out.

Casey sat across from me, looking abnormally calm after the sentence she had just uttered. She half-smiled at me. “He kind of got angry with me after I ditched him at the fair the other night.”

I looked at her in horror. “What? But you didn’t ditch. You were kidnapped!”

“
I couldn’t exactly tell him that, could I?” she responded, smiling wryly.

Immediately I felt guilty. She couldn’t tell anyone about the gang, so she couldn’t explain the truth to Willis. “Oh, Casey. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault—”

“
Don’t worry about it,” she cut me off, shaking her head. “It’s not your fault.”

“
Yes, it is,” I muttered glumly. “You and Willis were together for so long . . .”

She shrugged. “Maybe too long. For the last few weeks it felt like we were more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. Willis thought so too, so I guess this is for the best.”

“
I’m sorry, Case,” I apologized again, frowning at her. Even if she seemed okay on the outside, I knew her better than that. “You’ll find someone new . . .”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure, but I’d like to stay single for a while.”

“
Being single is fun,” I told her energetically. “You get to fuss over cute guys without feeling guilty!”

Casey smirked. “Yeah, well now I can’t do that with my best friend, can I?”

I blinked at her in surprise. “Huh?”

“
You didn’t reply to any of my texts last night
and
you’re in a frighteningly good mood. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened after Lance and I left the other night.”

My cheeks blazed. “N-nothing happened!”

“
You can’t lie to me, Holly,” she responded with a cheeky grin.

Now that’s something I’ve never heard before
, I thought sarcastically. A smile spread across my lips. “You can’t tell anyone, Casey.”

She held up her hands. “Holly, I never tell secrets.”

Which was completely true. I gestured for her to come closer and she leaned over the table, bringing her head as close to mine as possible. Closing the space between us, I brought my head to her ear and uttered two simple words. “We’re together.”

She let out an excited squeal, pulling away from me, her eyes as wide as saucers. “Seriously?”

“
Seriously.”

“
Oh my god! That’s awesome!” she gushed. “I knew it was going to happen! I told you!”

I laughed at her excitement. “You did.”

“
It’s about time,” a voice commented from above me.

Casey’s eyes snapped to Lance, who was standing above me, frowning. I rolled my eyes at him.

“
You can’t tell anyone,” Casey told Lance, giving him a serious look. “This is really important.”

Lance held up his hands. “I’m not going to tell a soul. But Casey, Willis just told me that you guys broke up.”

“
That’s because we did.”

“
Are you okay?” Lance asked, giving her a concerned look.

She waved her hand. “Don’t worry about me. It was going to happen anyway. Besides, as our relationship ended, a better one started. Officially, at least.”

“
Well, we aren’t really official,” I muttered, stirring my soup. “It’s a secret, remember?”

She grinned at me. “More than one person knows, so technically it is official. Ah, a forbidden romance. How romantic.”

Lance snorted. “You mean creepy.”

I slammed my elbow into his stomach. “It’s not creepy!”

He groaned, taking a few steps away from me. “Ow!”

“
Yeah! Holly and you-know-who are only four years apart. My parents are ten years apart,” Casey defended.

He frowned, still rubbing his stomach. “I was kidding, jeez.” He took a seat next to me, stealing the crackers that had come with my soup. “So Shawn’s in jail for a long time, huh?”

“
No,” Casey responded before I could. Lance and I stared at her in surprise. She gave us the “are you stupid” look. “Every man is innocent until proven guilty. He’s got a trial this weekend. Don’t you have to go to it Lance?”

He shrugged. “Well, yeah. But he’s in jail right now, so that’s all that matters.”

“
What matters is that we don’t have to deal with the gang situation again. Ever,” I corrected confidently.

Casey, Lance, and I stared at each other for a moment. They looked relieved, small smiles slowly crossing their faces. It was hard to believe. Shawn was gone.

“
December’s going to be a good month,” Lance decided, grinning.

Casey nodded in agreement. “A very good month. Full of love, eh, Holly?”

I blushed, ducking my head. “Maybe,” I murmured bashfully. “Or a month full of flirting for the single people.”

Casey and Lance exchanged grins. “Sounds good.”

Sighing contently, I dipped my spoon back into my soup. Just as I poured the spoonful into my mouth, the bell rang. Lance immediately stood up, glancing at me with amused eyes. “Better hurry.”

“
Don’t be late for Mr. Heywood,” Casey teased, causing me to choke again.

I hurried to the front of the room and handed off my tray to the lunch lady. She gave me a knowing smile, as if she knew I was going to be late.

Twirling on my heel, I hurried towards the exit. I only got three feet before someone ran into me. A groan of frustration left my mouth and I looked up to glare at the person. James was looking at me in surprise.

“
Holly?”

“
Hey,” I greeted, stepping around him. “Better hurry, or you’ll be late.”

 “
You’re going to be late anyway,” he informed me, handing his tray to the lunch lady.

“
I know.”

He grinned at me. “There’s strength in numbers.”

The bell rang ten seconds before we entered the classroom. Mr. Heywood was in the middle of a sentence. He paused, glancing at us with a frown. Before he could scold us, James spoke up. “Sorry, my locker was jammed. Holly helped me.”

Mr. Heywood raised an eyebrow at me. Immediately images of us necking on the couch two nights before filled my head, causing a blush to spread across my face. My head shot down and I focused on a tile on the floor.

“
Well, take a seat.”

“
Yes, sir!” James chirped, pushing me forwards.

I stumbled to my desk, unable to look up at Mr. Heywood. Someone snorted from the back and I didn’t have to look to know it was Lance.

“
As I was saying, now that the rat dissection course is complete we’ll be having a test on the anatomy unit on Friday.”

A groan swept throughout the class, and a few people muttered complaints. I kept my eyes on my desk, focusing intently on the word
diploid
someone had etched into the wood.

“
We don’t meet for class tomorrow and there’s no school on Friday, so the test will be on Thursday. Today and Wednesday will be review,” he continued, sounding slightly amused. Suddenly a hand appeared on my desk. “Would you guys like to go over things on the board or start the review packet?

Starting working on the review packet was the unanimous agreement. Mr. Heywood emitted a low, alluring chuckle. “I’ll go get them,” he told the class, retracting his hand from my desk. After a few moments I looked up, watching as he disappeared into the supply room.

The classroom was quickly filled with the sounds of desks and chairs scraping against the floor as people moved to sit with their friends. Someone pushed a desk against mine and I turned to see Lance slumping into it. He yawned, stretching his arms.

“
So,” he started casually. “You know how I have court Friday?”