A Road to Let Go (Fallen Tuesday #4) (6 page)

“
Oh,
no way,
”
Gray said.
“
You
’
re still with her.
”

“
I
’
m in trouble, guys,
”
Jake said.
“
Trent knows the truth, but I
have to tell everyone.
”

“
Give
it a few minutes,
”
Trent
said.
“
Until we get to the
hotel. We
’
re almost there.
”

The silent limo ride gave Jake time
to think about what he would say. He worried about the band
’
s reaction though. They were his
brothers and that meant if Jake was connected to Chloe then the band would be
connected to her. They
’
d
have to find a way to make their peace with her, for the sake of Jake and the
baby.

The baby.

Good hell...

The band was about to drop an album
and Jake had to save a place in his mind and heart for a baby. It felt so wrong
and by the time the band made it to the hotel, Jake wished he had just come to
the hotel alone for a boozed filled late afternoon into the night.

When the limo stopped, Trent opened
the door. They climbed their way out and someone immediately screamed their
names. Jake turned and saw a small group of fans running at the band. It was
amazing how loyal and smart their fans were. It wouldn
’
t shock Jake if there was a group of fans near
every hotel in town, hoping to be the lucky ones that picked the right hotel.

“
We
’
ve got company,
”
Jake said.

“
You
going to run?
”
Mack asked.

Jake stepped toward Mack. Luke put
a hand between them.
“
Want
to fight each other in front of our fans?
”

“
No,
”
Mack said.
“
I want to meet these fans and
thank them for their loyalty.
”

“
I
feel the same,
”
Jake said.

The fans were just feet away. Three
women and two men. All wearing Fallen Tuesday t-shirts and holding cell phones,
posters, and markers.

The band waited and took as many
pictures as asked. They signed everything asked, too. They engaged in
conversation with the guys while two of the three women stood there in complete
shock. The other woman had her face down in her phone, probably texting and
posting the pictures.

Jake noticed it and felt his
insides grumble. This would result in the hotel probably being swarmed sooner
than later with more fans hoping to meet the band. That meant when Fallen
Tuesday left the hotel, they
’
d
need extra security.

Once the band said their goodbyes
to the lucky fans, they went into the hotel. The walk up the steps was in
complete silence as a man in a suit took them to their room. He then held the
door open and thanked the band for staying at his hotel. Of course, the hotel
wasn
’
t
his
, but he
needed to say such things to appease corporate policy.

The hotel room was massive and
unnecessary. But someone paid for it, even if the hotel gave it to Fallen
Tuesday for free.

Mack went right to the fridge and
let out a cheer when he found it stocked with beer. He took out five beers and
lined them up.

“
Can
we have a little toast to our show?
”
he asked.
“
Before we get
into this bullshit?
”

“
Yes,
”
Gray said.

Luke, Trent, and Jake walked to the
counter. They all twisted off the caps to their beers and cheered each other.

“
That
was a great show,
”
Luke
said.
“
We have a few more
and then we
’
ll be back on
the road. Hotels and the tour bus will become our home.
”

“
I
love it,
”
Mack said.
“
I don
’
t know how you wimps are going to make it work
though.
”

“
Who?
”
Trent asked.

Mack smiled.
“
You, Trent. And Luke. And Gray.
”

“
What
about us?
”
Gray asked.

“
Those
women have your hearts all twisted. How are you going to survive?
”

“
Dude,
”
Trent said shaking his head.
“
You know the road is where we
belong.
”

“
I
know,
”
Mack said.
“
I
’
m
breaking your balls a little. It
’
s
not like you could bring them on the road, right?
”

“
Maybe,
”
Luke said.
“
Maybe not.
”

“
Why
the hell are we talking about this?
”
Gray asked. He looked at Jake.

“
I
’
m sorry for what happened back
there,
”
Jake said.
“
You know me, guys. This is my
life. If I didn
’
t have this
band and music, I
’
d be long
gone. Today was just overwhelming. Seeing so many people like that. So close.
Fans crying
…”

“
Gets
to me, too,
”
Luke said.
“
That our music conveys such
emotion that people connect so deeply. It
’
s
special.
”

“
Yeah,
”
Gray said.
“
I get that.
”

“
It
’
s not just that,
”
Jake said.
“
The emotion, yes, but there
’
s more. And it involves Chloe.
”

“
I
can
’
t stand hearing that
name,
”
Mack said.

“
Get
used to it,
”
Jake said. He
grabbed his beer and drank. He then took a few steps away and knew he needed to
just spill his guts. He took two more sips from the cold beer. He then looked
to his band, to Fallen Tuesday, and said the two words he knew would change it
all.
“
Chloe
’
s pregnant.
”

*

Mel couldn
’
t sleep. There was no such thing as a nap for her.
She got back to her apartment and the second she opened the door, she felt
alone. The apartment always smelled musty, no matter how many candles she lit
or air fresheners she plugged in.

After tossing her mail to the
table, Mel went to the kitchen sink and looked out the window. The window was
too small for the best view out of the apartment. Off in the distance was a
wide horizon. She always stood there and wondered where her father was. Was he
close? Or was he somewhere else? Different town. Different state.

Her father could even be dead.

That prompted her to grab a
notebook and pen. She plopped down at the kitchen table and started to write
out everything she knew about her mother and her family and friends of her
family.

Her mother was one of two sisters,
which meant the family tree wasn
’
t
going to be very big at all. Her mother
’
s
sister was named Jane and lived somewhere in Washington state. The last time
Mel saw her Aunt Jane was at her mother
’
s
funeral. Aunt Jane was the complete opposite of her sister; an executive who
wore expensive clothes, drove an expensive car, and thought of her career as
her child and her money as family. She was single, not dating, and there was no
connection between Jane and Mel
’
s
father. Mel knew this because she asked Aunt Jane once about him.

“
That
man
…
that man is no
good. Never was. Never will be. I hated that man from the moment I met him, and
if there
’
s one
regret I
’
ll admit to
you
…”
Aunt Jane began
while holding a half empty glass of wine. Finishing it made it her fourth
glass. The wine certainly helped her to open up.
“
I think by me hating him so much, she ran to him.
She wanted to show me up. She didn
’
t
want me to protect her like I always did. That
’
s what happened. She ran into his goddamn arms and
the rest
…
what a
mess. What a fucking mess
…”

Mel took that as a shot at her, because
the mess
was that her mother ended up pregnant with Mel. And that set
the course of her mother
’
s
life. The struggles. Raising a child on her own. Always trying to forge some
kind of path that never really worked out. All of which led right up to her
death.

As far as friends went, her mother
had a lot of them but none were really close. Mel jotted down a few names that
had stuck in her mind. Most of the names were nicknames and the only memories
of them were there because of the way they looked, talked, or acted. Even
though Mel had a small list of people by the time she dropped the pen, she felt
she had nothing. Nothing wasn't going to help her. Yet she couldn
’
t stop looking. All she wanted
was to find her father, tell him her story, and then hear his. She didn
’
t want to live with confusion -
or hate - in her heart, even though he took off all those years ago.

Mel stood from the table and
wandered to her bedroom. Her bedroom was actually just a corner in the loft.
There were a couple poles floor to ceiling, giving her the option of maybe
hanging some curtains or sheets up for privacy, but she never did. It wasn
’
t worth the effort because this
apartment would never be home. Mel wasn
’
t
sure where home was, but it wasn
’
t
here.

Falling to the bed, Mel closed her
eyes but couldn
’
t sleep.
Her cell phone rang and she reached for it. One eye open, she saw it was the
only friend she had around here, a woman named Alex. Alex played guitar and
spent half her week playing small shows in cafés and restaurants. She lived
with two other women, one in veterinary school and the other law school. Alex inherited
a small fortune from her grandmother who encouraged her to
go out and
experience the world
. The information was mostly useless, but after dealing
with Jon long enough Mel had taught herself to absorb everything she could.

“
Hey
Alex,
”
Mel said.

“
Girlfriend,
”
Alex said.
“
What are you up to?
”

“
Supposed
to be sleeping.
”

“
This
early?
”

“
Have
to go back to work.
”

“
Oh.
”

“
Yeah.
Extra shifts. Money, money.
”

“
You
’
ll die in that hotel before you
experience something fun, girlfriend.
”

“
You
’
ve said that before,
”
Mel said and smiled.

“
You
should call in sick. Play hooky and come hang with me tonight. I
’
m driving an hour north for a
show at a little café. I
’
m
looking forward to it.
”

“
Do
you get paid for these shows?
”
Mel asked.

“
No.
What the hell do I want money for? Takes the fun out of it. I think. I don
’
t know. Maybe I should ask for
money. But I just like to play guitar and chill.
”

Mel had a hard time keeping up with
Alex when she started to talk. In a two minute non-stop sentence (Mel knew
because she stared are her alarm clock on the nightstand) Alex managed to talk
about new guitar strings, using something called a
slide
for the first
time so she could get a cool sound on the guitar, and how she thought of
getting a kitten but then realized she would never be able to take care of it
the right way. Then again, Meghan (the roommate in vet school) could help take
care of it. But, wait, Ashley (the other roommate) was allergic to animals. Then
the kitten thing somehow led into getting a new laptop and that somehow led
into getting sushi for lunch.

Mel was tired for Alex when the
sentence finally ended.

There was a two second pause of
silence and then Alex asked,
“
Are
you there?
”

“
Oh,
I
’
m here. You
’
re busy enough for the both of
us.
”

“
You
could be busy too. Just look to the future, Mel.
”

“
I
am.
”

“
No.
You
’
re trying to find your
future by digging into your past. That
’
s
kind of like chasing your tail, right?
”

Mel groaned. She hated how flaky
Alex could be one second yet she could make perfect freaking sense the next.
The thought had gone through Mel
’
s
head a million times. But she felt like a gambler who couldn
’
t walk away from the table. All
the money spent on Jon would be a waste of all her long hours at the hotel. And
it would only take one piece of information
…
one stroke of luck
…
to change
everything. Just like the gambler at the table fearing that the next hand or
the next pull of the slot lever would be the big one, Mel feared that she would
walk away and forever wonder what she would miss with her father.