A Road to Let Go (Fallen Tuesday #4) (5 page)

These were the frail ends of the
strings of reality Mel hoped to someday find. She knew most of it sounded like
garbage and was crazy - evident enough of her roommate cursing her out more
than once for leaving North Carolina on a weekend
’
s
notice - but Mel had to follow her heart.

Whatever that meant, she wasn
’
t really sure. It just sounded
nice in her mind and sounded even better to say to people who dared to ask
common questions to her like
‘
where
are you from?
’
‘
what are you doing here?
’
‘
what do you do for a living?
’
.

Most of the time it was easier to
just say that her mother had recently passed away from an illness and that Mel
was sort of taking a break from life. A chance to unwind, reset, relax. Nobody objected
to that.

The song in the distance came to an
end and the music was quickly replaced by the cheering of the crowd. Mel looked
in the general direction but couldn
’
t
see anything.

One thing Mel always regretted
about her mother's art, and maybe even her own, was that there was so much
emotion involved, but it was never seen. It was meant to be observed and
experienced in a way that gave each person their own theory. The same could be
said about music.  

Mel ran a hand through her hair and
sighed.

“
That
’
s enough,
”
she whispered and slid from the roof of her car.

The crowd couldn't stop cheering.
What an amazing feeling that must be for the band.

Mel got behind the wheel of her car
and started the engine. She quickly turned off the radio and waited to see if
another Fallen Tuesday song was going to start. A few moments later the back
door - the
employees only
entrance and exit - opened and Harry came
rushing out. He held a clipboard in one hand, a pen in his mouth, and stared at
his watch before waving his hands at Mel.

For an absolute split second Mel
considered driving forward and seeing how much of a good scare she could give
Harry. Of course she would never run over her boss and hurt him, or kill him,
even if most of the staff in the hotel would probably worship her for the rest
of her life.

Instead, Mel simply held the
steering wheel as though she were trapped in a white out snowstorm on a busy
interstate and prepared herself for yet another wonderful and uncomfortable
conversation with Harry.

When Harry got to her car, she
looked at him and smiled.

“
You
don
’
t need to sell me
anything,
”
she said.

“
What?
”

“
Just
tell me what you need,
”
Mel
said.

“
There
’
s a couple shifts tonight.
”

“
Tonight?
”

“
I
was thinking you could scoot home and get a nap in
…”

Mel shook her head. She hated when
he tried to act like he really cared about how tired she was.

“
I
got it,
”
she whispered.

“
You
’
ll be here?
”

“
Of
course,
”
Mel said.

She had no interest in working
extra shifts, but there was money to be made. Jon would come looking for more
and Mel needed to pay some bills to keep the lights on and the landlord happy.

This was life.

This was her life.

In the distance, music began again
and Mel sighed.

She wondered what it must have been
like to be a rockstar. Without a care in the world. With lots of money and
thousands of fans.

Harry said something along the
lines of
see you tonight!
and tapped the clipboard off the roof of Mel
’
s car.

She found herself sitting there,
again, waiting.

For what, she didn
’
t know.

(5)

Jake held out the little bottle of
whiskey and opened his hand.

“
Boom,
”
he whispered as it hit the
floor and bounced.

Two down, lots more to go.

He laughed and shook his head. This
was pathetic. Why the hell was he trying to get drunk in the back of a limo
while the band finished up their set outside?

Each time Jake closed his eyes, he
saw the pregnant woman holding her belly, enjoying the music. That would be
Chloe someday. And that someday would be soon. Very soon.

This wasn
’
t the life Jake signed up for. Hell no. He was
supposed to be a single rockstar. On top of the world. In rock n
’
roll heaven. Enjoying life to
its fullest. Fallen Tuesday hadn
’
t
even hit their peak yet. They were about to release an album that would change
their lives even more.

The door to the limo opened and
Jake stiffened.

Time to face the music.

The first person in the car was
Trent. Jake couldn
’
t
believe he felt relieved that it was him. Just weeks ago, the sight of Trent
made Jake want to take a swing at him. All because of a woman. A woman they had
once fought over. A woman who should have never come back into their lives.

Trent sat down and pulled the door
shut. He stared at Jake, then looked at the empty bottle of whiskey, then back
to Jake.

“
You
drunk?
”

“
One
little bottle of whiskey?
”
Jake asked.

“
Just
one?
”

“
Just
one.
”

“
What
happened out there, man?
”

“
Got
caught up.
”

“
In
what?
”

“
The
show. The audience.
”

“
Those
are our fans,
”
Trent said.
“
They pay for all this. They buy
the tickets. The shirts. The albums. Everything.
”

“
It
was just too close,
”
Jake
said.
“
Okay?
”

“
What
was?
”

“
Their
lives, man. It
’
s like
looking into each one of their eyes and seeing what this all means and the fact
that I
…
we
…
provide it.
”

“
Isn
’
t that the dream?
”

Jake kicked at the small empty
whiskey bottle.
“
This is
…”

Trent smiled.
“
It wasn
’
t just that. I saw the way you looked at that woman
with the baby. And the pregnant woman.
”

“
Yeah?
Your point?
”

Trent leaned forward and folded his
hands.
“
You can talk to me,
Jake. If there
’
s one person
who gets it
…”

“
I
feel tricked, man,
”
Jake
said.
“
I feel confused. I woke
up this morning and sat with a guitar in my hand but didn
’
t play. You know why?
”

Trent shook his head.
“
No. Why?
”

“
Because
I didn
’
t want to wake
her
.
Chloe. I wanted her to just stay the hell asleep. So I could get a break from
her. I gave up playing something I love to hide from something I
’
m pretending to love. But she
didn
’
t stay asleep. She
woke up. And anymore it
’
s
like I have to
…”

Jake turned his head.

“
You
’
re forcing yourself to sleep
with the woman you got pregnant,
”
Trent said.
“
All because you
wanted to prove a point to me. Damn, man. Just
…
damn.
”

“
Hey,
I know,
”
Jake yelled.
“
I know.
”

“
You
need to tell the rest of the guys,
”
Trent said.
“
It
’
s time we all sit down and talk
about this. You need to get it off your chest and let us help you. This isn
’
t the end of the world, Jake.
Okay? If you don
’
t love her
…”

“
What
do I do? Just leave her? That
’
s
probably what she wants. I
’
m
a lottery ticket to her now. She came back looking for something. She started
with you and you threw her to the curb. Then she came crawling to me. Like I
had much of a choice
…”

Jake froze for a second and looked
at Trent. He suddenly found himself on a very thin line. Each word threatening
to push him into a dark, lonely oblivion.

“
You
had a choice,
”
Trent said
in a soft voice.

“
I
don
’
t feel like I did,
”
Jake said.
“
You pushed her away so easily,
man. Didn
’
t even talk to
her. You didn
’
t even know
what the hell she wanted. You just assumed and then pushed her away. Where did
you think she was going to go then?
”

“
Wait
a second,
”
Trent said.
“
Please tell me
…”
Trent put his hands up.
“
Please tell me you
’
re not going to go down this
road.
”

“
What
road?
”

“
This
one. The one where you seriously start to blame me for this mess.
I
pushed her away?
I
forced her into your arms?
I
put her in your
bed?
”
Trent gritted his
teeth.
“
I
told you
not to wear protection when you fucking slept with her?
”

The tension in the limo was thick.
It felt stuffy and awkward, but Jake didn't care. He knew his old demons were
in control. Some men drank. Some dabbled with drugs. Jake liked to stir up
problems and make enemies. If he could make someone else half as annoyed as he
was, then he would feel better about himself.

“
I
comforted her,
”
Jake said.
“
Then she wouldn
’
t go away. She said things to me
…
and I was right back in that
old place. Plus, you screwed her once behind my back, right?
”

Trent rubbed his chin.
“
Okay. Tell you what, Jake. When
you
’
re done acting like an
asshole, I
’
ll be out there,
being a rockstar.
”

Trent moved and Jake felt his lip
snarl. He wanted to let Trent go, but knew he couldn
’
t. Trent was the only friend he had right now.

“
Wait,
”
Jake said.
“
I
’
m
sorry.
”

Trent froze. He didn
’
t look at Jake.

“
I
knew what I was doing, okay? I
’
m
an asshole, yes. I just wanted that chance again. I didn
’
t want forever and now that
’
s what I
’
ve
got.
”

“
What
chance were you looking for?
”
Trent asked.

“
The
chance to be a real rockstar,
”
Jake said.
“
I mean, it was
Chloe, right? All the shit the three of us went through. She saw us at our
worst and poorest. She saw us playing in basements and bars. Small clubs with
shitty sound systems. Playing for twenty people, nineteen of which we brought
with us. I just wanted to have her, once, and show her what I had done.
”

Trent got back into the limo and
sat down. He didn
’
t close
the door though.
“
Keep
talking to me.
”

“
That
’
s it. I wanted to show her a
good time. Spend money. Prove to her that I was a rockstar. But it
’
s Chloe. It didn
’
t stop there.
”

“
If
it means anything, those same thoughts went through my head too,
”
Trent said. 
“
And look where it got me. I
almost got locked up and I hurt the band.
”

“
Well,
I feel like I
’
m going to be
in some kind of prison, man.
”

“
You
don
’
t have to be with her,
”
Trent said.
“
You know that. You take care of
that baby and nothing more.
”

Jake pointed to his chest.
“
But this thing gets in the way.
”

Trent laughed.

A second later there were voices
and the rest of Fallen Tuesday started to pile into the limo. Jake looked at
each of his band mates and felt uncomfortable. Luke, Gray, and finally, Mack,
got in. The door shut, but a second later it opened again.

It was Frank.

“
What
in the good hell was that?
”
Frank yelled.

“
Not
now,
”
Trent said.

“
Not
now?
”
Frank asked.
“
A guitarist walks off in the
middle of a song and I'm not supposed to ask why?
”

“
Can
we just drive?
”
Jake asked.

“
No,
”
Frank said.
“
I think we are all owed answers.
”

“
Christ,
I
’
m about to agree with
Frank,
”
Mack said.
“
I need a stiff drink.
”

“
For
a second, I thought you were sick,
”
Luke said. He kicked at the whiskey bottle.
“
But
I guess not.
”

“
I
deserve it,
”
Jake said.
“
Give me all the shit you want.
”

“
Frank,
give us a chance here,
”
Trent said.
“
Let
’
s go to the hotel and talk.
”

“
What
do I do out here?
”

“
Your
job,
”
Trent said.
“
We did our shows. Right?
”

“
You
have more press coming up,
”
Frank said.
“
More shows.
Radio shows. What do I do if they start calling asking about Jake?
”

“
It
was one show,
”
Jake said.
“
A bad decision, okay? I
’
m sorry.
”

“
Sorry,
”
Frank said and shook his head.
“
Every time I turn around it
’
s something else.
”

“
That
’
s what you get when you deal
with rockstars,
”
Trent
said.

Frank slammed the door shut and the
car started to move.

Jake looked past the band out to
the audience he had abandoned. The crowd was still massive and when they
spotted the limo, they went crazy again. Screaming, reaching, wanting another
chance at the band.

“
I
feel like an ass,
”
Jake
said a minute into the ride.

“
Keep
going,
”
Mack said.

“
Screw
off.
”

“
Yeah?
”
Mack asked. He made a fist.
“
Say that again.
”

“
Hey,
”
Trent said and put his arm out.
“
Give him a chance.
”

“
What
the hell is this?
”
Luke
asked.
“
It wasn
’
t even a month ago that I was
trying to pry you two apart from killing each other. Now you
’
re best friends. What gives?
”

“
Chloe,
”
Jake said.

The limo iced over. Everyone knew
the name and the saga. The band suffered through the first time with Chloe. And
now it was happening again. Only now there was more at stake here. This wasn
’
t some band trying to find their
way. Fallen Tuesday was
the
band. People depended on them. From Frank to
record executives to sales teams to promoters, venues, and everyone who worked
the shows.

This was serious now.

Big time serious.

“
Chloe?
”
Mack asked.
“
That bitch?
”

“
Hey,
”
Jake said.
“
Cool it.
”