Read A Safe Surrender: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Donnelley Brothers Book 2) Online
Authors: Alannah Carbonneau
I gasped, spinning around to find Kyle standing close. Really close.
“You sauced me!” I raised my threatening hand quick, meaning to swipe my finger at his nose, but he caught my wrist in his hand.
I struggled playfully against him, my laughter ringing in the room around us. Kyle stepped closer again, trapping me between his large body and the counter at my back. “Keep it up, sweets, and you’ll get another dab of sauce on your face.”
Using my other hand, I reached to the sauce behind me before swiping my finger over his upper lip in an attempt to get his nose. Kyle moved quick, pulling my finger into his mouth, he sucked my finger clean of the sauce.
I gasped at the warm wetness of his mouth on my finger and Kyle stiffened at the realization of what he’d done, before a heat spread through his eyes, locking on mine. Slowly, he released my finger from between his lips.
When he spoke, his voice was husky. “Taste’s good. I was right.” His eyes held mine, and the butterflies that had lain dormant for so long stretched their wings, fluttering to life. “You are the perfect woman.”
I could barely find the ability within me to reply. My voice was nearly gone and my throat was tight. I was a mess of conflicting emotions. On one hand - I really liked Kyle. He was a good man with a good heart and strong morals. He would no doubt be a kind lover. On the other hand - Kyle was my friend. I didn’t want to lose what I had with him.
Taking a chance on anything more would be welcoming the possibility losing Kyle forever to a messy break. I mean, what if he wanted something without ties? I wasn’t that kind of girl. When I was with a man, I was really with that man - body, mind, and soul. I knew, if I took a chance at something more with Kyle, I would fall, head over heels, in love with him.
Tearing my eyes away from his, I looked to the floor between us as my heart pounded in my ears. I didn’t know what to say, but the butterflies that had fluttered to life a moment ago now felt deadweight in my belly. “Kyle,”
“Don’t, Kami.” His voice was gruff, strained with thick emotion I didn’t understand. “It’s my fault. I wasn’t thinking.”
Blinking up at him, I watched as he forced a smile onto his lips. Reaching forward, he grabbed the damp cloth from the countertop, wiping the tip of my nose clean of the sauce.
He spoke. “I’ll go find that movie now. You finish up here.”
I nodded, praying the rest of the night wasn’t doomed to this awkwardness. “Kay.”
I watched Kyle move into the sunken living room, his large hand rubbed the back of his neck as he always did when he was either stressed or bemused. I had a feeling it wasn’t the latter.
Finishing up the pizza, I placed it in the oven before padding down to the living room with Kyle. He had a spacious two-story house. The entire house had the feeling of cabin living in spite of its enormous size. Everything was crafted with dark wood. Everything, furniture included, was masculine. I hadn’t been upstairs where his bedroom was, as there had been no reason for me to wander up there, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about the rest of his living space.
Kyle had flicked on a lamp beside the deep brown leather couch he was currently sitting on. His beer sat on the wooden coffee table that resembled the tree-stump coffee table I had in my own little cabin. In the corner of the living room, a large stone fireplace sat where crackling coals currently popped as flames licked higher up the chimney.
Pulling in a deep breath, I lowered myself onto the couch beside him. Tucking my feet beneath my bum, I snuggled into the armrest. “Pizza should be ready in fifteen.”
Leaning back, he rubbed his ripped stomach. I hadn’t seen him without a shirt on, but I had a feeling he was crafted beautifully. “Good. I’m starving.”
“Me too.” I nodded, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. “What are we watching tonight? Please don’t say the Exorcist.” I shivered. “I barely slept for days after that one.”
Kyle chuckled, his eyes sweeping over my face. “You didn’t like The Expendables?”
“I did.” I scrunched my nose. “Every now and again, I don’t mind a mans movie - but I’m a girl.” I raised my hands in a shrug. “I love a good romance.”
Kyle rubbed the back of his neck again. “Well, I think you’ll like this movie.”
I raised a brow. “I’ve seen your movie collection, Kyle. Fast and Furious is the most romantic you get.”
The chimer dinged and Kyle stood. “I can get romantic, sweets.” He called from the kitchen. “You just haven’t seen it yet.”
. For what felt like the billionth time tonight, my heart raced.
Keep it light, Kami. Keep it light.
“I’ll believe that when I see it.”
Standing, I ambled slowly to the kitchen. Leaning against the counter, I watched as Kyle cut the pizza into slices. “Mmm, this smells good.” He announced.
I inhaled. “It does.”
His eyes glittered as he placed two large pieces on a plate. I reached over the counter, stealing it. “Hey, that’s mine.”
I shook my head, walking back to the living room. “Oh no. I’m starving - this is mine.”
Kyle frowned. “I’ve never met a woman who eats like you.”
I raised a brow. “Are you trying to say something?”
Kyle grinned a shit-grin. “Only that I love your appetite, sweets.”
“Damn right.” I lowered myself onto the couch, balancing my plate on my lap.
Kyle lowered himself beside me. Pressing start on the remote, the movie began to play.
“I can’t believe you have The Notebook.” I said as the movie began. “Seriously, I did not see this when I looked through your movies the first time.” I narrowed my eyes. “Were you hiding it?”
“No.” He frowned. “Of course not.”
“Do you have a secret stash of girly movies so your bothers don’t find them?” I giggled. “I’m sure Logan would have a field day with that knowledge.”
Kyle sighed. “I borrowed them from Reese, and considering she’s his fiancée, Logan can’t say crap.”
I laughed. “You borrowed romantic movies from Reese?”
“Yeah,” He looked a little like he was regretting that decision. “I thought you’d appreciate it.”
“Awe!” I gave his shoulder a little knock with my fist. “I do. You’re sweet.”
“Glad you think so.” He stood with his plate, holding his hand out for mine. “Are you finished with your plate?”
“I am.” I handed it to him, loving the bashful expression he wore. “Thanks.”
“No prob.” He disappeared and I tried to coax my hopeful heart into submission. I really shouldn’t be feeling these feelings for Kyle. I’d only been single for two weeks. After seven years, two weeks wasn’t nearly long enough. I needed more time to find me - to figure out who I really was and what I wanted. However, as of late, it was looking a lot like what I wanted was Kyle.
“Do you want a beer?” Kyle called out and I glanced back to see him standing in front of the open fridge.
I wasn’t much of a drinker, but I figured I might as well have one with him. “Sure.”
Kyle pulled two beers from the fridge before joining me again on the couch. By the time the movie was over, we’d drank almost an entire twelve pack of beer. That was unheard of in my world. I’d only had three, but I could feel the buzz.
“I can’t believe we drank so much.” I gasped. “Crap.”
Kyle nodded, but he didn’t look at all surprised. The funny thing was that he wasn’t really all that much of a drinker either. I honestly don’t know how we’d gotten so carried away.
“Yeah,” he nodded, staring at the empty bottles on the coffee table. “I uh, drank too much to drive you home tonight, Kami.”
“Oh,” I blushed bright red. “Um,”
“You’re going to have to stay the night.”
I nibbled at my bottom lip, suddenly feeling nervous. “Okay, do you want to watch another movie than?”
“Yeah, probably a good idea.”
Settling back into the couch, I hugged my middle on a shiver and Kyle frowned. “You cold?”
I shrugged. “Do you have a blanket?”
“I’ll grab one.”
I listened to the stairs creaking beneath his weight as he took them two at a time, trying desperately to calm my raging heart - and hormones. I was spending the night at Kyle’s house. I’d always been pretty insistent on returning home after our movie nights, but this time, Kyle had drunk way too much to drive. Was it possible that he drank so much on purpose? Did he want me to stay?
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Kyle returning to the living room. As soon as I caught sight of him, my breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened. Warmth pooled in my lower belly as I took in the sight of him.
He’d changed from his jeans and t-shirt into a loose fitting pair of sweat pants that hung low on his sculpted hips. He hadn’t bothered replacing his shirt, deciding instead to go without. His abs were defined - like six pack defined. His chest was hard and chiseled and his shoulders were large and thick. Kyle was hot.
“I changed into something more comfortable.” He handed me a dark brown blanket. “Hope you don’t mind.”
Swallowing the frog from my throat, I shook my head. “Nope. Don’t mind at all.”
Before I trained my eyes on the television screen, I thought I caught a hint of a grin curling his lips.
Trying to keep my attention on anything but the very attractive man beside me, I snuggled chin deep into the blankets.
Hours passed and by the time we were in the middle of the third movie, I was completely drained. My eyelids were heavy and my body was slowly, but surely, falling into sleep mode. I wanted to lye down on the couch, but Kyle was still sitting here with me, and unlike me, he didn’t look tired at all.
“Are you tired?” I asked groggily.
Kyle shook his head. “No. You?”
I nodded. “Very.”
“Go to sleep.” He said seriously. “I’ll finish this movie.”
“Am I sleeping here?”
“Are you comfortable on the couch?” He asked, his voice sounded thick and gruff.
I nodded. “Sure.”
“Come here.” Kyle tugged me closer to him and my heart leapt with uncertainty and longing. “I won’t bite.”
“I just want to hold you, Kami.” He breathed and I knew this was hard for him. “Will you let me? Will you trust me enough to let me hold you?”
I nodded. “Okay.” I rested my head against the nook of his shoulder and he slipped his arm beneath my knees, shifting me sideways so I was almost sitting on his lap. Pulling me close against his chest, Kyle held me as I tried to keep my breathing calm and even. I didn’t want him to know how intimately affected I was by him in this moment.
Kyle brushed his lips over my forehead. “You’re a beautiful woman, Kami. Sweet dreams.”
My throat felt tight. “Thanks for everything, Kyle.” I whispered, closing my eyes.
...Pain tore through my insides as Rhett pushed past my innocence. It was sharp and burning. Crying out, I ached to tell him to stop, but I didn’t. And Rhett didn’t stop. His movements were rough and nearly frantic and behind my lids, tears formed.
“You’re so tight.” Rhett groaned against the side of my throat. His breath was hot.
“It hurts.” I whispered, afraid of sounding too childish.
“Shh,” he lifted his head to gaze into my eyes. “It’ll get better soon. I promise.”
I nodded - but I didn’t believe him. This was awful. His body over mine didn’t feel safe, it felt imposing, but I loved him. I wanted to please him. So I did what Jana told me to do. I focused on the sex and wrapped my legs around Rhett’s waist. He took my movement as an invitation to push in harder and deeper. A cry of pain fell from my lips and Rhett moved quicker, pounding, pushing, grunting.
Soon, it didn’t hurt as bad - it even felt a little good. I found my hips pushing against Rhett’s, meeting him thrust for thrust. The sound of pleasure on his lips pushed me to continue. I wanted this, his love, affection and pleasure. I wanted him.
Rhett pulled away from me without warning, his fist wrapped around his swollen cock.
“Gotta go spill it.” He explained to my confused expression. Over his shoulder, he called. “Don’t want a baby.”
A baby! Holy shit! I’d completely neglected to think about protection. As soon as I got away from Rhett, I’d make a trip to the doctor for birth control. If there was one thing I knew for certain, it was that I was in no position to raise a child. A pregnancy would be the last thing I needed. Preventative measures would need to be taken before I did this again.
Closing my eyes, I fell asleep in Rhett’s bed before he came back to the room.
I woke to a dark room and the feel of Rhett’s hands moving over my body. His breathing was labored, as though he’d run a marathon.
“Rhett?” I whispered his name. “What’s wrong?”
“Shh,” he commanded. “I just need you, babe.”
“We can’t. I’m not on the pill.”
“It’s all good.” He promised. “I’ll pull out.”
“No, Rhett.” I shook my head, but his hands were already on my waist, shifting me onto my side before pushing me down on my stomach into the mattress. Panic climbed into my chest as I pressed my palms into the bed. “What are you doing?”
“It’s a game, babe. I like feeling in control of you. I won’t hurt you, I promise.”
“I don’t like this game.” I pleaded as I felt his knee push my legs apart. When I felt his hard length press against my opening, I flinched away from him. “Rhett,”
“Babe, I need you so bad. Can’t you feel it? I’m fucking hard for you - it fucking hurts. I want you. Please, babe. Please say yes.”
His throbbing tip pressed into my opening, only an inch and despite my better judgment and my minds understanding of right and wrong, my body clenched achingly around him and I nodded into the bed sheets. “Yes, Rhett.”
“Fuck, yes.” He groaned as he pushed deep inside with one hard stroke. Again, it hurt - but it was more from the positioning than anything. I could feel him sliding in and out of my body, invading me, climbing inside me, possessing me. Controlling me.
I wanted to hate it, I knew it was wrong, but the idea of Rhett wanting me this way, so completely, was exciting. Knowing I drove him to this insanity I couldn’t fathom was consuming in a very twisted and shameful manner. I shouldn’t want this. I shouldn’t like it. But I did. No one had ever longed for me in such a fashion - the kind where reason floated into the abyss of darkness and only animalistic sense remained. I knew action in this realm of feeling was dangerous - so dangerous - but I’d had a taste of his possession. And I wanted more. Because I wanted him. I loved him. I wanted to belong to him. I had no one else...