A Safe Surrender: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Donnelley Brothers Book 2) (22 page)

“Hungry?” I asked.

“Starving!” He plucked a piece of bacon from his plate as I stabbed a hash brown with my fork. He spoke again, “I was wondering, Kami, after last night,” he paused and I frowned.

“What?” I took a sip from my coffee. “What were you wondering?”

His eyes held mine and I felt my heart flutter. “Do you want a baby?”

I swallowed, shocked I didn’t spit my coffee all over the table. “Pardon me?”

“Well,” he shrugged. “You didn’t want to use a condom so I was wondering if maybe you were ready for a baby.”

“Holy shit!” I gasped and he raised a brow. I shook my head, almost frantically. “I’m on the pill, Kyle.”

He nodded, obviously thinking. “Do you want kids?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “At some point.”

“How long?”

I rubbed my brow with shaking fingers. “Do
you
want kids?”

“Without doubt.” He replied without missing a beat and I felt a little of the air in my lungs swoosh out. “But I won’t pressure you, Kami. If you’re not ready, we’ll wait.”

“I’m not ready.” I lowered my eyes. “I don’t know when I’ll be ready, but I know I’m not ready right now.”

Peeking up at him, I saw him nod. “I understand, sweetheart. We’ll take our time.”

“Thank you.”

Kyle reached across the table with his palm up and I placed my hand in his, knowing that was what he wanted. And it was what I wanted too. “I never want you to feel pressured to do anything. All I want is your honesty. If you want something, tell me. If you’re not ready for something you can see that I want, tell me. Don’t ever let me believe you want something you don’t.”

Blinking, I smiled at the wonderful man I would be spending the rest of my life with. “I’ll tell you, Kyle. I promise.”

“Good.” He grinned. “I couldn’t imagine losing you to bad communication.”

“You’ll never lose me.”

“Is that a promise?”

I nodded. “Yes.” I said simply. “I love you.”

***

Sitting on the back deck, I pulled the little throw blanket around my naked legs and curled my hands around my mug of tea. It was a warm spring morning, but the air wasn’t bare legs air. I dialed Ember’s number and waited anxiously for her to answer.

On the fourth ring, I heard her voice. “I miss you!”

I laughed. “I miss you too, Ember.” I grinned to myself. “I have news.”

“You’re pregnant!” She joked, her laughter cutting off almost instantly. “Holy shit, tell me you’re not pregnant, Kami!”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“You’re not just saying that because I told you to say that right?” She squeaked.

“I’m not just saying that.”

“Whew!” She breathed. “You scared me there.”

“I’m married.” I blurted.

Silence.

Silence.

More silence.

My voice trembled as I said. “Say something.”

“Say what?” She breathed. “You’re freaking kidding me, right?”

“No.”

“You married one of the hot Donnelley brothers?” Her voice was getting louder and louder and my smile was starting to grow. “Wait, you had a wedding without me?”

“Well,” I sighed. “I married Kyle, yes, a hot Donnelley brother - but we didn’t exactly plan a wedding. We went to the courthouse.”

“The courthouse?” She did not sound impressed. “Seriously? That hot brother needs a lesson in romance.”

I shook my head feeling thankful she couldn’t see me. “I promise you, it was romantic. I wouldn’t change it for the huge white wedding. Honestly.”

“If you say so.” She sighed. “And I thought I’d be your maid of honor.”

“If we would have done the big normal wedding, you totally would have been.” I offered as consolation.

“I know,” she huffed. “So, tell me everything.

And I did.

Chapter 23

Gracie leaned against the kitchen counter with her mug of coffee clutched tight between her hands. She’d surprised Kyle and I with a morning visit - interrupting our good morning sex session. We were both in a little bit of a grump about it, but we were trying, for her sake, not to show it.

“With the summer bookings completely off the charts, I’ve decided to hire two more people to work inside the climbing gym so that the two of you can lead the tours either together, or apart, however you choose to work.” She announced with a wave of her hand. “We’re seriously overbooked this summer and I haven’t the faintest idea why.”

“Really?” Kyle leaned forward. “I don’t think Kami’s ready to lead a tour alone, but I definitely think you should hire more staff. That way we won’t have to close the gym down at any point.”

I nodded. “That is a good idea, Gracie.” I agreed. I really wasn’t ready to do a tour alone. I’d gone climbing with Kyle a few times in the last month and although I wasn’t bad, I wasn’t confident enough to take on the responsibility of a tour. “And I don’t feel confident in leading a tour alone.”

Gracie shrugged. “If you’re never comfortable with it, Kami, it’ll be fine. But you are solidly booked all of June and halfway into July.”

“No problem.” I grinned at Kyle, having a hard time concealing my excitement.

He grinned widely. “You were right, mom. Kami is perfect for me.”

“I know.” She stated, downing her coffee. “Anyway, I’ve said my piece so I’ll leave the two of you to finish what I interrupted.”

Kyle grinned a shit-grin at his mom as I stared at her with a dropped jaw and a cherry red face. Even my scalp felt as though it was turning red. I covered my mouth. “Oh my, you didn’t.”

She winked, “I did.”

Bowing my head, I tried to hide my face as Kyle swooped me up into his arms, carrying me to the stairs before Gracie had even walked out the front door. “Bye mom!” He called and I seriously thought I might die. “I have a wife to tend to.”

“I love you both!” Gracie called, closing the door on her chuckle as she walked outside.

I slapped my hand against Kyle’s bare shoulder. “I can’t believe you did that.”

He tossed me to the bed. “Then you’re not going to believe this.” He winked. “Spread your legs, love. I’m going to ravish you.”

Looking up at him, I wondered how on earth I became so lucky. “Please do.”

***

My hair was a mess. Kyle hadn’t been kidding when he said he planned on ravishing me. Staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I couldn’t help but blush as I thought of all the ravishing he’d done.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Kyle walk into the bathroom. He was carrying my phone with him and I frowned as I realized it was vibrating. “Is it Ember?”

“No.” My heart squeezed uncomfortably in my chest as he placed the phone on the vanity. “It’s Rhett.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I knew it bothered him deeply every time he saw Rhett’s name lighting up my screen.

“Don’t be sorry, sweets.” He ran a hand through his mess of hair. “It’s not your fault he can’t take a hint.”

“He was never really good at taking hints.” I replied quietly.

Kyle ignored the call and the screen turned blank. He pulled me into his arms, rubbing my naked back with his hand. “I’d like you to change your number, Kami.” He sighed. “I don’t mean to sound like a controlling jealous ass, but I’d really like to stop being reminded of him every day. And I’d like you to stop being reminded of him every day.”

Tipping my head back, I looked up into his eyes. “I’ll change it, Kyle. I’ve been thinking about doing it anyway.”

“You have?” He asked, a frown pinching his expression. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“We’ll go today.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “I definitely need a shower.”

“But you look so good all messed up.” He grinned his shit-grin and I laughed.

“I smell like sex.”

Kyle inhaled deeply, nuzzling my throat. “Sex smells so good on you, love.”

I rolled my eyes, wiggling out from the cage of his arms. “As much as I like it - I doubt anyone else would.”

Kyle caught my hand in his, dragging me gently to the shower. “Come shower with your husband.”

“Umm,” I moaned. “You got me all messy. It’s definitely your job to clean me up.”

“I think I can manage that, love.”

***

“Ember,” I spoke my friends name as she quieted on the other end of the phone. “I’m going in to change my number. Rhett’s been calling me every day almost twice a day since I left. I’ve moved on and I can’t have him calling me anymore.”

“I understand.” She said quietly and I glanced at Kyle out of the corner of my eye as he waited for me to finish my conversation before walking into the store. “But you should know that Rhett’s changed since you’ve been gone. I know you’re married and I definitely think you made the right decision in leaving,” she paused and I waited. “I just want you to know that he’s made some changes in his life and maybe hearing from you - a firm goodbye, will help him move on.”

“Thanks for understanding.” I said softly. “I’ll call him.” I saw Kyle’s brows raise and his frown deepen. “I’ll text you my new number as soon as I have it.”

“I love you, Kami.” Ember said gently.

“I love you too!”

Disconnecting the call, I looked up at Kyle with uncertain eyes. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets. “What was that about?”

“Ember thinks I should call Rhett.”

“Why?” He asked tensely. I could see he was struggling with this information, but that he was trying to control his frustration long enough to give understanding a fair shot. “Why would she think you calling him is a good thing?”

“She thinks a final goodbye will help him move on.” I shrugged. “And I’m changing my number, so maybe I should.”

He pulled in a deep breath. “I don’t think he deserves anything from you, Kami, but if you want to do this, I’m not going to stop you.”

I leaned in to press my lips against his. “This is why I love you, Kyle. It’s your patient understanding with me - it blows my mind.”

“I’m only this patient and understanding because I love you, Kami.” He squeezed my hand. “Make your call.”

Taking in a deep breath, I dialed Rhett’s number and listened to the ringing.

“Kami?” Rhett answered, breathless. In the background, I heard the pounding of a hammer against wood and I knew he was at work. For some reason, this startled me. “Babe, I’m sorry.” He sobbed into the receiver - so unlike the Rhett I knew. “What I did - I’m so sorry.”

This isn’t why I called, but it’s what my heart is begging me to do now that I’m listening to this broken man I once knew and cared for. There are no tears burning in my eyes and my voice doesn’t croak. Instead, there is a steady calm surrounding me and I know I’ve found peace with our past.

“I forgive you, Rhett.” The validation in my voice makes him sob out loud.

“Does this mean you’ll come home now, Kami? I lov-”

“No, Rhett.” I replied gently, but firmly. “I’m never going to come back. I’ve moved on and I hope that you do too.”

“But, I love you.” He whispered, sounding so terribly broken and lost.

“I’m only calling you to let you know that as soon as I disconnect this call, I’ll be changing my number. I can’t continue living with you calling me every day.”

“Kami, don’t,” he broke off, breathing heavily. “Tell me, are you at least happy?”

Smiling, I said. “I am.”

He sniffled. “Okay. I hope I’ll see you again one day, Kamilla. And I hope you’ll be smiling. I’m sorry I couldn’t be everything you needed - I’m sorry I did everything I did to you. I just want you to know, I’ve been cleaning myself up. I’ve been trying.”

“I’m so happy to hear that.” I whispered softly. “Goodbye, Rhett.”

“Goodbye, Kamilla.” He replied just as softly. I knew, in this moment, that I would never again see Rhett. But I did truly wish him well. Despite everything he had done to me, I wished only the best in life for him.

Sometimes good people, when put together, are toxic. That was Rhett and I. Together, we were toxic. We were poison. But apart, we had potential for happiness and love. I believed in the deepest crevice of my heart that Rhett wasn’t a bad person. He’d made some mistakes - he’d made some mistakes with me. But I had loved him for years. Now that I had love with Kyle, I knew it wasn’t the right kind of love, but it was a brand of love regardless and that was a fact that couldn’t be ignored.

With a steady hand, I disconnected the call.

Looking up at Kyle, I found his eyes watching me intently. When he spoke, his words touched my heart. “You’re the strongest woman I know, sweetheart. To be able to forgive the way you just did, without an ounce of reservation, is admirable.”

Taking his hand in mine, I smiled. “I’m only this strong because I have you, Kyle. You’ve given me the courage to do so many things I never would have done on my own. It’s my ability to surrender my life to you - to trust in you to protect me and to love me always - that gives me the strength to be brave.”

Cupping the nape of my neck, he drew me close. His lips tickled mine. “I’m so in love with you.”

“I’ll always be in love with you.”

Epilogue

“Kami, your phone’s ringing.” I heard Kyle’s voice yelling from downstairs. “It’s Ember.”

“Answer it!” I called, fumbling with the laces of my shoes. We were minutes from walking out the door to go on an overnight hiking trip. I was vibrating - I was so excited. Tossing my bag over my shoulder, I made my way downstairs. As I entered into the living room, I heard Kyle talking with Ember.

“She’ll be a little disappointed, but it might be for the better. We’re swamped with tours.”

I frowned, disappointed. Why would I be disappointed?

“What’s going on?” I asked, reaching for my phone.

Kyle spoke into the phone. “Kami’s here, Ember. It was nice talking to you.”

Kyle handed me the phone and I brought it to my ear. “Why am I disappointed?”

Ember wailed. “I won’t be able to make it out there until the end of August or the beginning of September.”

“Really?” That was disappointing. I haven’t seen Ember in months and I missed her like crazy. “Why not?”

“Well, you’re not going to believe this, but I got an internship with an Equine Veterinarian for the summer. I can’t pass on it.”

“What!” I squealed. As much as I missed my friend, I couldn’t help but be overly excited for her. “This is amazing news, Ember! You’re going to be a horse doctor! Congratulations!”