A SEAL's Oath (SEALs of Chance Creek Book 1) (4 page)

She’d held in her shock and panic that night and all the next day until Nadia from the adoption agency knocked on her door for their scheduled home visit at precisely two pm. She’d managed to answer Nadia’s questions calmly and carefully, until the woman put down her pen.

“Tell me about your job, Riley. How will you as a single mother balance work and home life with a child?”

Riley had opened her mouth to speak, but no answer had come out. She’d reached for her cup of tea, but only managed to spill it on the cream colored skirt she’d chosen carefully for the occasion. As Nadia rushed to help her mop up, the truth had spilled from Riley’s lips.

“I’ve just been downsized. I’m sorry; I’ll get a new job right away. This doesn’t have to change anything, does it?”

Nadia had been sympathetic but firm. “This is why we hesitate to place children with single parents, Riley. Children require stability. We can continue the interview and I’ll weigh all the information in our judgement, but until you can prove you have a stable job, I’m afraid you won’t qualify for a child.”

“That will take years,” Riley had almost cried, but she’d bitten back the words. What good would it do to say them aloud? As a girl, she’d dreamed she’d have children with Boone someday. When she’d grown up, she’d thought she’d find someone else. Hadn’t she waited long enough to start her family?

“Riley? Are you all right?” Savannah Edwards asked, bringing her back to the present.

“Of course.” She had to be. There was no other option but to soldier on. She needed to get a new job. A better job. She needed to excel at it and put the time in to make herself indispensable. Then, in a few years, she could try again to adopt.

“Are you sure?” A tall blonde with hazel eyes, Savannah had been Riley’s best friend back in school, and Riley had always had a hard time fooling her. Savannah had been a music major and Riley could have listened to her play forever. She was the first person Riley had met since her grandparents passed away who seemed to care about her wholeheartedly. Riley’s parents had been too busy arguing with each other all through her childhood to have much time left over to think about her. They split up within weeks after she left for college. Each remarried before the year was out and both started new families soon after. Riley felt like the odd man out when she visited them on holidays. More than eighteen years older than her half-siblings, she didn’t seem to belong anywhere now.

“I’m great now that you three are here.” She wouldn’t confess the setback that had just befallen her. It was still too raw to process and she didn’t want to bring the others down when they’d only just arrived. She wasn’t the only one who had it tough. Savannah should have been a concert pianist, but when she broke her wrist in a car accident several years after graduation, she had to give up her aspirations. Instead, she had gone to work as an assistant at a prominent tech company in Silicon Valley and was still there.

“What’s on tap for the weekend?” Nora Ridgeway asked as she scooped her long, wavy, light brown hair into a messy updo and secured it with a clip. She’d flown in from Baltimore where she taught English in an inner-city high school. Riley had been shocked to see the dark smudges under her eyes. Nora looked thin. Too thin. Riley wondered what secrets she was hiding behind her upbeat tone.

“I hope it’s a whole lot of nothing,” Avery Lightfoot said, her auburn curls glinting in the sun. Avery lived in Nashville and worked in the marketing department of one of the largest food distribution companies in North America. She’d studied acting in school, but she’d never been discovered the way she’d once hoped to be. For a brief time she’d created an original video series that she’d posted online, but the advertising revenue she’d generated hadn’t added up to much and soon her money had run out. Now she created short videos to market low-carb products to yoga moms. Riley’s heart ached for her friend. She sounded as tired as Nora looked.

In fact, everyone looked like they needed a pick-me-up after dealing with flights and taxis, and Riley headed inside to get refreshments. She wished she’d been able to drive to the airport and pick them up. Who could afford a car, though? Even when she’d had a job, Riley found it hard to keep up with her rent, medical insurance and monthly bills, and budget enough for the childcare she’d need when she adopted. Thank God it had been her turn to host their gathering this year. She couldn’t have gotten on a plane after the news she’d just received.

When she thought back to her college days she realized her belief in a golden future had really been a pipe dream. Some of her classmates were doing fine. But most of them were struggling to keep their heads above water, just like her. A few had given up and moved back in with their parents.

When she got back to the balcony with a tray of snacks, she saw Savannah pluck a dog-eared copy of
Pride and Prejudice
out of a small basket that sat next to the door. Riley had been reading it in the mornings before work this week as she drank her coffee—until she’d been let go. A little escapism helped start her day off on the right foot.

“Am I the only one who’d trade my life for one of Austen’s characters’ in a heartbeat?” Savannah asked, flipping through the pages.

“You want to live in Regency England? And be some man’s property?” Nora asked sharply.

“Of course not. I don’t want the class conflict or the snobbery or the outdated rules. But I want the beauty of their lives. I want the music and the literature. I want afternoon visits and balls that last all night. Why don’t we do those things anymore?”

“Who has time for that?” Riley certainly hadn’t when she was working. Now she’d have to spend every waking moment finding a new job.

“I haven’t played the piano in ages,” Savannah went on. “I mean, it’s not like I’m all that good anymore—”

“Are you kidding? You’ve always been fantastic,” Nora said.

“What about romance? I’d kill for a real romance. One that means something,” Avery said.

“What about Dan?” Savannah asked.

“I broke up with him three weeks ago. He told me he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. The man’s thirty-one. If he’s not ready now, when will he be?”

“That’s tough.” Riley understood what Avery meant. She hadn’t had a date in a year; not since Marc Hepstein had told her he didn’t consider her marriage material. She should have dumped him long before.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t been warned. His older sister had taken her aside once and spelled it out for her:

“Every boy needs to sow his wild oats. You’re his shiksa fling. You’ll see; you won’t get a wedding ring from him. Marc will marry a nice Jewish girl in the end.”

Riley wished she’d paid attention to the warning, but of course she hadn’t. She had a history of dangling after men who were unavailable.

Shiksa fling.

Just a step up from Tagalong Riley.

Riley pushed down the old insecurities that threatened to take hold of her and tried not to give in to her pain over her lost chance to adopt. When Marc had broken up with her, it had been a wake-up call. She’d realized if she waited for a man to love her, she might never experience the joy of raising a child. She’d also realized she hadn’t loved Marc enough to spend a life with him. She’d been settling, and she was better than that.

She’d started the adoption process.

Now she’d have to start all over again.

“It wasn’t as hard to leave him as you might think.” Avery took a sip of her tea. “It’s not just Dan. I feel like breaking up with my life. I had a heart once. I know I did. I used to feel—alive.”

“Me, too,” Nora said softly.

“I thought I’d be married by now,” Savannah said, “but I haven’t had a boyfriend in months. And I hate my job. I mean, I really hate it!” Riley couldn’t remember ever seeing calm, poised Savannah like this.

“So do I,” Avery said, her words gushing forth as if a dam had broken. “Especially since I have two of them now. I got back in debt when my car broke down and I needed to buy a new one. Now I can’t seem to get ahead.”

“I don’t have any job at all,” Riley confessed. “I’ve been downsized.” She closed her eyes. She hadn’t meant to say that.

“Oh my goodness, Riley,” Avery said. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Paint?” She laughed dully. She couldn’t tell them the worst of it. She was afraid if she talked about her failed attempt to adopt she’d lose control of her emotions altogether. “Can you imagine a life in which we could actually pursue our dreams?”

“No,” Avery said flatly. “After what happened last time, I’m so afraid if I try to act again, I’ll just make a fool of myself.”

Savannah nodded vigorously, tears glinting in her eyes. “I’m afraid to play,” she confessed. “I sit down at my piano and then I get up again without touching the keys. What if my talent was all a dream? What if I was fooling myself and I was never anything special at all? My wrist healed years ago, but I can’t make myself go for it like I once did. I’m too scared.”

“What about you, Nora? Do you ever write these days?” Riley asked gently when Nora remained quiet. When they were younger, Nora talked all the time about wanting to write a novel, but she hadn’t mentioned it in ages. Riley had assumed it was because she loved teaching, but she looked as burnt out as the rest of them. Riley knew she worked in an area of Baltimore that resembled a war zone.

Her friend didn’t answer, but a tear traced down her cheek.

“Nora, what is it?” Savannah dropped the book and came to crouch by her chair.

“It’s one of my students.” Nora kept her voice steady even as another tear followed the tracks of the first. “At least I think it is.”

“What do you mean?” Riley realized they’d all pulled closer to each other, leaning forward in mutual support and feeling. Dread crept into her throat at Nora’s words. She’d known instinctively something was wrong in her friend’s life for quite some time, but despite her questions, Nora’s e-mails and texts never revealed a thing.

“I’ve been getting threats. On my phone,” Nora said, plucking at a piece of lint on her skirt.

“Someone’s texting threats?” Savannah sounded aghast.

“And calling. He has my home number, too.”

“What did he say?” Avery asked.

“Did he threaten to hurt you?” Riley demanded. After a moment, Nora nodded.

“To kill you?” Avery whispered.

Nora nodded again. “And more.”

Savannah’s expression hardened. “More?”

Nora looked up. “He threatened to rape me. He said I’d like it. He got… really graphic.”

The four of them stared at each other in shocked silence.

“You can’t go back,” Savannah said. “Nora, you can’t go back there. I don’t care how important your work is, that’s too much.”

“What did the police say?” Riley’s hands were shaking again. Rage and shock battled inside of her, but anger won out. Who would dare threaten her friend?

“What did the school’s administration say?” Avery demanded.

“That threats happen all the time. That I should change my phone numbers. That the people who make the threats usually don’t act on them.”

“Usually?” Riley was horrified.

“What are you going to do?” Savannah said.

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t quit.” Nora seemed to sink into herself. “I changed my number, but it’s happening again. I’ve got nothing saved. I managed to pay off my student loans, but then my mom got sick… I’m broke.”

No one answered. They knew Nora’s family hadn’t had much money, and she’d taken on debt to get her degree. Riley figured she’d probably used every penny she might have saved to pay it off again. Then her mother had contracted cancer and had gone through several expensive procedures before she passed away.

“Is this really what it’s come to?” Avery asked finally. “Our work consumes us, or it overwhelms us, or it threatens us with bodily harm and we just keep going?”

“And what happened to love? True love?” Savannah’s voice was raw. “Look at us! We’re intelligent, caring, attractive women. And we’re all single! None of us even dating. What about kids? I thought I’d be a mother.”

“So did I,” Riley whispered.

“Who can afford children?” Nora said fiercely. “I thought teaching would be enough. I thought my students would care—” She broke off and Riley’s heart squeezed at Nora’s misery.

“I’ve got some savings, but I’ll eat through them fast if I don’t get another job,” Riley said slowly. “I want to leave Boston so badly. I want fresh air and a big, blue sky. But there aren’t any jobs in the country.” Memories of just such a sky flooded her mind. What she’d give for a vacation at her uncle’s ranch in Chance Creek, Montana. In fact, she’d love to go there and never come back. It had been so long since she’d managed to stop by and spend a weekend at Westfield, it made her ache to think of the carefree weeks she spent there every summer as a child. The smell of hay and horses and sunshine on old buildings, the way her grandparents used to let her loose on the ranch to run and play and ride as hard as she wanted to. Their unconditional love. There were few rules at Westfield and those existed purely for the sake of practicality and safety.
Don’t spook the horses. Clean and put away tools after you use them. Be home at mealtimes and help with the dishes
.

Away from her parents’ arguing, Riley had blossomed, and the skills she’d learned from the other kids in town—especially the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—had taught her pride and self-confidence. They were rough and tumble boys and they rarely slowed down to her speed, but as long as she kept up to them, they included her in their fun.

Clay Pickett, Jericho Cook, Walker Norton—they’d treated her like a sister. For an only child, it was a dream come true. But it was Boone who’d become a true friend, and her first crush.

And then had broken her heart.

“I keep wondering if it will always be like this,” Avery said, interrupting her thoughts. “If I’ll always have to struggle to get by. If I’ll never have a house of my own—or a husband or family.”

“You’ll have a family,” Riley assured her, then bit her lip. Who was she to reassure Avery? She could never seem to shake her bad luck—with men, with work, with anything. But out of all the things that had happened to her, nothing left her cringing with humiliation like the memory of the time she’d asked Boone to dance.