A Son's Vow (14 page)

But wasn't it true that the Lord never gave anyone more troubles than they could bear? Or was that merely wishful thinking?

“Lukas!”

He turned to see Rebecca tromping across the field toward him with a determined expression on her face. Frustration, mixed with concern, filled him. He'd really wanted a few hours to himself. He'd needed that. He deserved that, too.

However, he knew that only something really important would have brought Rebecca out to search for him.

“What's wrong?” he asked. “Is someone hurt?” When he realized she didn't look panicked, he began to think of what else could have brought her out. “Did that semi come in early?”

“Nope.”

“Oh. Well, is there a problem at the shop? Did we get that famous basketball player in today?” Their master carpenters were often asked to do custom jobs for some people up in Cleveland and Columbus.

“It's none of those things.”

“Then what's wrong?”

“You are, that's what.” Before he could ask her to explain, she stepped to his side and nudged his arm with her shoulder. “I saw you walk by the office. When I peeked out the door, I spied you heading here.”

That still told him nothing. “And?”

“When you turned, I got a good look at your face. I recognized that look you were wearing.” Softening her voice, she murmured, “Lukas, you are troubled.”

There was no sense in denying it. He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“What's on your mind?”

“What isn't?”

She sighed. “I know things seem bad, but they're better.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do. Things are settling at work. The employees are looking to you and Levi now for guidance.” She smiled wryly. “A couple have even come to me for help from time to time. Made me feel real important, it did.”

“
Gut
. Answer all the questions you can,” he teased. Well, only half teasing. He would be grateful for any help Rebecca could give him.

“I already have. Levi said the same thing.” She paused, then said, “So, is it work that has you so tied up in knots?”

“I thought it was,” he ventured as they began walking side by side along a worn footpath to a fishing pond. “I thought it was Daed and work and everything. But now I'm realizing that we have each other and everything is going to be okay. Somehow or some way.”

“Then what has gotten you so worked up?”

He didn't want to admit what—or rather, who—was bothering him, but he needed some advice. With a sigh, he made a decision. “I'm worried about Darla.”

“She'll come around, Lukas. She's been grieving as well as dealing with Mary Troyer, and we know what Mary's like. What she's always been like.” Her voice hardened. “Mary has always
been critical of the mill and her son working here. She wanted him to stay home and farm.”

“Mary has been especially hard on Darla. But that will ease. I'll make sure of it. But, Becky, Mary ain't the reason I'm so worried. It's because Aaron is still hurting her.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Aaron is still angry at the world, and for some reason, he's taking out all his frustrations on Darla.”

“Lukas, you better tell me what happened to her now.”

Briefly, he told her about the bruises he'd spied on her wrist and recounted the talk he'd had with Aaron the day before.

“I canna believe all this has been going on and I've had no knowledge of it. I should have reached out to her more.”

“I doubt she would have told you anything. She's very private.”

“Amelia and I might not have the close friendship with her that you do, but we care about her.”

“I know that.”

When she bowed her head, looking as if Darla's hurts were weighing on her, too, Lukas blurted, “I'm worried, Rebecca. I'm worried that these bruises aren't the only ones she's received. I'm worried that something else might happen and I won't be there to protect her.” And then, feeling absolutely vulnerable, he said, “I asked her to marry me.”

She stared at him in confusion. Then blinked slowly.

He braced himself, waiting for her temper to erupt.

But instead, she said softly, “Does she truly mean that much to ya, Lukas?”

“Jah.”

“Are you sure? Do you love her, or are you merely trying to protect her?”

In his mind, they were one and the same. “She's been my best friend for years. You know that.”

“I know that you've been close.” Not meeting his eye, she said, “I know that I've always been a little jealous of the bond you two have shared.”

He was confused. “Jealous? Of Darla?”

“You've treated her like a sister. In a lot of ways you've been closer to her than you ever were to Amelia or me. Of course I've been jealous of that.”

“My connection with Darla has never been like that.” Though, if he hadn't thought of Darla as another sister, how had he thought of her?

Her expression eased. “It seems it wasn't. You haven't been thinking of her as a sister, but as someone special in another way. In a romantic way, Lukas.”

“Maybe so.” He wasn't sure how he liked the sound of that, but he supposed the Lord had placed them together all along.

“So when is the wedding?”

Her question startled a bark of laughter from him. Only Rebecca could accept news that quickly. “There isn't going to be one. She said no. Twice, now.”

“Really?” She threw him a look over her shoulder as she strode forward, the hem of her dark purple dress cutting a path through the weeds and early spring wildflowers. “Did she give you a reason?”

“For sure she did. She gave me a mouthful,” Lukas said with a smile. “But I suppose what matters the most is that she thinks we'd be getting married for the wrong reasons.”

“Because she thinks you were asking out of pity. Because you were trying to save her.”

“Jah.”
He shrugged. “She wasn't wrong. I do want to help her. However, I'm not sure if she refused me because she's worried about love or worried about her siblings. She's always put them first.”

“And they made sure of it,” she quipped. “Of course, if she is worried about Aaron transferring his anger to another member of the family, I can't say that I would have said yes, either.”

They were at Dawdi Pond now. It was just a little thing. Not big enough to do anything but sit on the bank and toss in a fishing pole in the summer or skate on in the middle of January or February. But most figured it wasn't all that good for those things, either. Though it was filled with algae, lily pads, frogs, and turtles, it never seemed to be very full of fish. And a skate around its circumference would take all of five minutes. He'd always secretly wondered if the folks who owned it wished they could fill the thing up with dirt and be done with it. Rebecca, on the other hand, had always loved watching all the turtles sunning.

She looked mighty happy at the moment to do just that. Plopping down on the grass, she beamed. “Look, Lukas! A bunch of turtles are out today.”

He sat down next to her and gazed at the curious little creatures, their heads and tails poking out of hard green shells, their dark, beady eyes watching each other and Rebecca warily. When one slowly turned around so that it faced her, he grinned. “Becky, I swear, these turtles know ya. One would think you feed them every time you come.” He turned to her. “Do you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course not. I don't feed them, but I think they know they've got a kindred spirit in me.”

He burst out laughing. “I'm awfully glad you showed up. I was feeling kind of blue and confused.”

“Aren't you still confused?”

“Yes. But now, at least, I realize I'm not alone.” Pulling his legs up so he could rest his elbows on his knees, he said, “You've made me feel better.”

“Glad I could help.”

He smirked. “Kindred spirits with turtles, indeed.”

“I was serious about that.” Looking almost hurt, she chided, “These turtles really do like me. A lot!”

He couldn't help himself, he started laughing harder. “That's what's so funny. Of course you're serious about them. I better tell Oscar to look out! Your puppy won't like discovering that your affections are so fickle.”

Looking dramatic, she pressed a palm to her chest. “Oscar knows that he has my heart.”

“Until a man comes along.”

“Well, that is going to be a while, since I'm at the mill all day.”

Her curt tone prompted him to stare at her more closely. Her light blue eyes had turned pensive. “You said you'd let me know when you've had enough,” he said slowly. “Have you?”

“Not yet.”

“Sure?”

“I'll tell you when it's time, Lukas.”

She sounded certain. Relaxing again, he leaned back on his hands. “I'm gonna hold you to that promise.”

“Hey, Lukas?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you going to do now about Aaron and Darla?”

“I'm not sure. I told Aaron he should talk to the bishop. I also told him if he wouldn't listen to me, I'd come down harder.” Glancing her way, he said, “If he doesn't, finally, resolve his
problem, I'm going to bring more men to talk to him. Maybe he'll listen to several of us.”

“Surely he'll stop now.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. All I do know is that I'm going to keep walking Darla home and asking her to be mine.”

She swallowed. “Lukas, I hate to think of her being mistreated. Especially at home.”

“I feel the same way.”

“Do you think she might listen to me if I try to talk to her about marrying you?”

“What would you even say? That you don't want her
bruder
taking out his frustrations on her? She's the oldest in a very big family.”

“But her
mamm
—”

“Has taken off,” Lukas interrupted. “Who knows if she'll ever come back? And if she does . . . well, how can she ever repair the damage she's done? She left little Gretel.”

“And everyone else.” Frowning as she watched one of the turtles slowly make its way down a log, Rebecca continued. “Maybe we shouldn't have been all that surprised. She was a nice woman, but overwhelmed. I always thought that she acted like keeping tabs on her
kinner
was all she had to do. It was odd.”

“I don't think she ever truly ran the house. John did, and now Darla and Patsy.”

“I suppose you're right.” She rested her chin on her knees.

He leaned farther back, enjoying the moment.

“Hey, Lukas?”

“Jah?”

“What would you have done if she'd said yes? I mean, how would you have felt? Would you have been happy?”

He thought about that. “I would have been relieved to know I was helping her. I would have been anxious to get her someplace safe.” He would have been eager to care for her, too.

“But would you have been happy that she would be your wife for the rest of your life?”

“
Jah
,” he said before he even allowed himself to think about it. “I love her.”

“That's something, then.”

“I suppose it is.”

He just wasn't sure if it was enough.

April 6

J
ust as Darla handed Mr. Carson his mail, Mary Troyer pulled open the front door to the post office. Knowing what was about to happen, Darla braced herself. Funny how her body automatically stiffened at the sight of Mary Troyer now. The woman had affected both her mind and her spirit.

Mr. Carson looked at her curiously. “Everything okay, there, dear?”

“What?” Belatedly, she realized she was clutching his
Popular Mechanics
magazine in a death grip. “Oh,
jah
. Sorry about that,” she said as she attempted to smooth the wrinkled cover. Well, here you go. I'm real glad you're back from Florida safe and sound.”

Mr. Carson gave her a toothy smile. “Me, too, Darla. See you soon.”

“Yes, sir.” She smiled at him before meeting Mary's hard gaze. Mary was standing next in line and glaring at her. As usual.
“What do you need?” Darla asked. She was beyond trying to be polite in the midst of Mary's mean tirades.

“Is that all you have to say to me?” Mary nearly yelled, causing Mr. Carson to pause on his way out the door.

It was an effort, but Darla kept her voice low. “I don't seem to have anything to say that you want to hear.”

Mary stepped forward and braced her hands on the counter. “My Bryan is buried in the cemetery. Yet, here you are. Working, talking, and flirting with everyone in Charm most every day.”

“I'm hardly doing that.”

“You are moving on with your life, Darletta Kurtz, just like nothing happened.”

“I don't need to cause scenes to remember the accident.”

“Don't you, though? Because now you not only have to bear your father's shame, but you have insinuated yourself back into Lukas Kinsinger's life, much to everyone's shock.”

“I don't see how my friendship with Lukas is any concern of yours.”

“It's impossible to avoid. Why, it's all anyone can talk about.” She shook her head. “I don't know how you can live with yourself.”

Mary's speech was nothing unusual yet there was a new, firm, frantic thread to it now. Almost as if she was on the verge of a breakdown or becoming so desperate that she was willing to cast away her last bit of control. This change made Darla even more uncomfortable.

She was so, so tired of Mary's unreasonable anger toward her. She felt as if she were the lone soldier in Mary's firing line; every day she got shot down, only to be propped up again.

Darla was vaguely aware of the door opening and shutting.
No doubt that was Mr. Carson rushing out. Mary's tirade had probably blistered his ears. She hated that sweet Mr. Carson had had to hear Mary's ugly accusations but it couldn't be helped.

“You have no reason to be so mean to me, Mary,” she said, though she knew her face was burning with embarrassment. “I've told you time and again that not only was my father's part in what happened an accident, but that I, personally, had no more to do with what happened at the mill than you did.”

Mary inhaled and looked like she might burst.

Darla couldn't help but be glad about that.

“Now, if you don't need anything to do with packages or letters, I suggest you leave the premises.”

“I'll leave when I feel like you have heard me,” she retorted. Now, however, her voice had a tremor of doubt in it.

Was this all it had taken? Darla wondered. Had she simply needed to stand up for herself?

“I believe we've all heard you,” Mr. Carson said, surprising Darla. “What's more, I think you need to rethink the way you are talking to Darla.”

Darla popped her head up. She was dumbfounded to see Mr. Carson standing against the back wall glaring at Mary, as were two other customers, one of whom was Hannah Eicher.

Mary looked just as shocked about the audience as Darla. After a momentary look of discomfort, she faced them. “You might not know this, but her father is John Kurtz. He's the one who caused the mill accident.”

“I know exactly who Darla is. And of course I knew John Kurtz,” Mr. Carson retorted. “I don't work at the mill, but I did follow the investigation in the papers. John was cleared of any wrongdoing, as was the mill. It was simply a terrible accident.”

Mary shook her head. “
Nee
. It was his fault.”

Hannah walked to stand in front of Darla, as if she were trying to shield her from Mary's harsh words. “Mary, you know my uncle works at the mill. He knew John well, and said he was a
gut
man. A kind man. You must stop these visits here. They are serving no purpose except to hurt Darla's feelings. And if you want to know the truth, they make the rest of us wonder what has happened to you.”

“Me?”

“You have lost your compassion, Mary. Your son would hardly recognize ya, what with the way you are acting.”

Staring at her intently, Mary said, “Your Paul died there.”

“I haven't forgotten. Don't assume that I have.”

“I canna believe you, of all people, are sticking up for Darla Kurtz.”

Hannah shook her head, her brown eyes full of sorrow. “And I canna believe you are ignoring our faith. It is time to forgive, Mary.”

“Forgiveness is not that easy.”

“Maybe you simply need to try harder,” Mr. Carson interjected with a glare. “Everyone has been talking about these visits of yours. They are unkind and bordering on cruel.”

Mary turned to Darla, “Is this what you have been doing? Telling everyone how mean I've been to you?”

“Your visits have been pretty hard to miss,” an English lady in jeans and tennis shoes blurted. “I've been trying to avoid the post office because you are here so much.”

“I haven't told anyone,” Darla replied. “But like I told you the first time you came in, no matter how much I wish I could change the past, it is beyond my control. We all must move on.”

The door opened again and this time it was Rebecca Kinsinger who walked through. She stopped and stared at the scene. “What's going on?”

“All of us thought it was time Mary stopped yelling at and taunting Darla,” Hannah replied.

“Oh, thank heavens. Someone just came in the mill saying the same thing. I got here as quickly as I could.”

Darla couldn't believe it. “That was kind of you.”

“That was the least I could do,” Rebecca said. Turning to Mary, she raised her voice. “Mary, it is time to mourn your Bryan. Cast away your anger and focus on him. That is how he would want you to behave.”

Tears filled Mary's eyes as she looked from one person to another. “I never thought all of you would ignore what I'm feeling. None of you understand my pain.”

“I've lost both of my parents. I know that pain too well,” Rebecca said. “That is why I must say once again that it is time you stopped these visits.”

“You all will regret siding against me.” With one last glare around the room, she pushed her way out past Mr. Carson and Rebecca. At last the door opened and she was gone.

A fierce, tense silence filled the room in her wake.

Darla walked around the counter, her hands clasped together. A lump filled her throat and emotion infused her words. “
Danke
. Thank you, all of you. I never wanted to ask for help with Mary, but I truly appreciate all of your support.”

“I know why you never said anything, dear, but that doesn't mean how she was acting was right,” Mr. Carson said.

“She doesn't speak for everyone else, either,” Rebecca added. “You are right, Darla. It was a terrible accident, but it is in the
past. And even if someone there had caused it, no one can take on the sins of one's fathers.”

Hannah nodded. “Mary's constant anger is causing a rift in our community. We need to concentrate on healing, not making things worse. I really hope she stops soon.”

“Me, too.” Looking at Rebecca, Darla lowered her voice. “Thank you so much for coming here. I think your words might have finally caused Mary to rethink her actions. Please let me know if I can help you in any way in the future.”

Rebecca smiled. “It was nothing. But if you meant what you said, you can thank me by coming over this evening.”

“To your
haus
?”

“To be sure.”

Feeling as if everyone there was shamelessly waiting for her reply, Darla did the only thing she could do. She nodded. “I will do that. I'll be over after I get off work and check in at home. Maybe around seven?”

“Seven is a perfect time. You can meet my new puppy, Oscar. He's a bulldog.”

In spite of the tension, Darla smiled. “I'd love to meet your puppy.”

“You're gonna love him. He is so cute. He's a good cuddler, too.”

Thinking that cuddling a puppy would definitely make her day better, Darla relaxed a bit. Then, as she looked around at everyone in the room, she called out, “Is there anyone here who needs something from the post office?”

“I do,” Hannah said. “I need to get some stamps and then hurry to work.”

As Darla walked back around the counter, the other people left. And for the first time in a long time, she realized that she
was stronger. She'd been able to stand up for herself. Sure, she'd had help, but that was okay.

She'd needed it.

“S
HE'S COMING OVER
tonight at seven,” Rebecca said to Lukas the minute she walked inside their house.

“Who is?” Amelia asked.

“Darla. After Ed told me he saw Mary in the post office, yelling at Darla once again, I ran over there to try and put a stop to things.”

If Lukas wasn't so pleased about his sister's efforts, he would have rolled his eyes. It seemed Rebecca had healed a bit, too, and was now back to making sure everyone in her world was doing what they should. Or at least, what she thought they should. “
You'd
had enough, hmm?”

“I did. Besides, someone needed to intervene,” Rebecca added as she crouched down on her knees to greet little Oscar, who was waddling his way over to her. After stroking his belly, she picked him up in her arms. “When I walked in there, poor Darla was getting an earful. She looked a bit like she'd reached her limit.”

“I already spoke to Mary. I thought that would have helped.”

“It didn't.”

Leave it to a little sister to put things bluntly. “Good to know that Mary will listen to you, at least.”

“I don't think it was me she was hearing. I think it was everyone else joining in. She was outnumbered. Maybe she realized that it was finally time to move on, too.”

“Perhaps that was it.” As hard as it was to come to terms with, all things happened at the right time. “How did Darla react?”

“I think she was surprised that we came to her defense, if you want to know the truth.”

“That does not surprise me.”

“There were four of us, and we all told Mary that we weren't happy with the way she'd been saying such hateful things to Darla. Mr. Carson even told her that he had heard enough!”

“Thank goodness he spoke up. And you, too.”

Rebecca waved off his compliment. “Perhaps now we can finally move forward.”

“So, how did you go from defending Darla to inviting her over here?”

“I took advantage of the fact that everyone was looking at her, as well as the fact that she owed me.”

“Becky.”

“You know I had to use some kind of advantage, Lukas. She couldn't exactly refuse me in front of everyone.”

Lukas winced. “I'm not sure if that was the best way.”

“I am. Plus, I mentioned Oscar. He's cute enough to convince anyone to pay us a visit.”

Lukas waved a hand. “Anyway . . .”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Darla promised me in front of Hannah and Mr. Carson that she'd stop by after she checks in at home.”

Remembering how chaotic things were at the Kurtz house, he said, “Don't be too surprised if she doesn't make it over.”

“Oh, she'll come. Now all we have to do is see what happens next.”

“Do you think we need to worry about Levi?”

For the first time during the conversation, Rebecca looked
unsure. “I don't think so. He's been working late this week. They won't see each other.”

“He'll still find out about it and he's not gonna be too happy.”

“He ain't going to be happy at all. But like Mary, he needs to get over what happened, Lukas.”

Lukas wondered if it would ever be that easy for Levi. Unlike everyone else in the family, Levi had been in the room where the men had died. He'd witnessed the explosion and had tried his hardest to save John. Later, after much of the warehouse had caught fire, he led the fight to try to save the others as well.

They all knew part of Levi's anger toward John was a reflection of his own anger at himself. He felt guilty and wasn't eager to forgive others because then he'd have to forgive himself, too.

“Lukas, you know I am right, don't you?”

Feeling weary, he nodded. He did know Rebecca was right. Besides, he was eager for Darla to stop by, just like she used to when they were in school. At least two or three times a week she'd walk home with him and Rebecca after school and stay for an hour or two.

“It will go okay,
bruder
. I'll make sure of it.”

Sometimes he wished God would have given him even an eighth of Rebecca's self-assuredness. He would like to know what it felt like to go through his days knowing that he was right.

Lukas glanced at the clock. “I think I'll go shower, then.”

Rebecca smiled at Amelia, who had just entered the kitchen with a fresh load of laundry in her arms. “That's a mighty
gut
idea, Lukas. You don't want to scare Darla away before she even has time to settle in.”

He would have acted annoyed about her teasing except he kind of thought she might be right. He was a stinky mess after working at the mill all day, followed by another two hours outside in the fields and in the barn.