Authors: Shelley Shepard Gray
A Son's Vow (21 page)
“You
want
to?” she asked incredulously. “That's the best you can do?”
“I want to be completely honest with you. And that is why I'm afraid to tell you that I always will be, no matter what. But I will make you a promise, Hope. I will promise you that I will do my very best to be honest with you. I don't want to lose you.”
“Do you think we still have a future?”
“I want one. I don't want to think of a future without you in it. I'd be lost without you,” he admitted. There, he was as honest as he could possibly be. He'd laid his feelings and hopes out there.
“What are you going to do about the people you've hurt?”
“I'm going to continue to apologize. I've talked to Darla and asked for her forgiveness. I spoke to Hannah, and her family, too.” Inwardly, he cringed, remembering the look of disgust
her father had cast his way. It was no less than he deserved, though.
Because she was listening, he kept talking. “I'm going to talk to the preachers some more, too. But mainly, I realized that I was hurting my father's memory by holding on to my anger. I was so filled with pain, sure the Lord had beseeched me, but I've come to realize that it isn't my duty to avenge a wrong. Especially when there wasn't a wrong. It was a terrible accident. That is all.”
“I . . . I could go with you on your future visits, if you would like my company.”
“I would love your company, but you don't need to do that. I don't want to burden you with my problems any more than I already have.”
“It wouldn't be a burden. I want to.”
“Why would you want to?”
“Because, I think your fiancée should be by your side to support you. For better or worse.”
She still wanted to be his fiancée. He almost fell to his knees in relief. He'd come over, hoping she would still agree to talk to him. Never had he believed that Hope would believe in his future enough to honor their engagement. “Does that mean you've forgiven me?”
Slowly, she nodded. “I think it does.” She exhaled. “I don't want to rush into marriage anymore, though. I want to make sure we are both ready for it.”
“But you'll still be my girl?”
“
Jah
. I will still be yours.” Slowly, she smiled. And at last he saw the warmth that had always been in her gaze. There she was. His girl. His hope. His everything.
“
Danke
, Hope,” he said around a sigh. “I know I don't deserve you, but I will one day. Somehow, some way, I'll make myself into the man you believe I can be. I promise you that.”
The compassion he saw shining in her eyes was beautiful. “We already deserve each other, Aaron,” she said softly. “I love you, you love me. And because of that, we'll make things work. I know that, without a doubt.”
And because he knew she didn't lie, because he knew she was Hope, Aaron let himself believe her.
Six weeks later
S
chool was out, the temperatures had risen, and the days were longer. As Darla walked along the main road from her house to the post office, she couldn't help but stop every few moments and appreciate her surroundings. The air was thick with chatter from birds, the ringing of machinery in fields, and the
clip-clop
of horses on the pavement.
Charm's rolling hills were either vibrant green or dark black dirt. Dotting the fields were plows and teams of Percherons. Closer to the road were several farmhouses and small cottages available for lease. Front yards were filled with snapdragons and daffodils and flowering pear trees as well as long lines of bright laundry fluttering in the breeze.
Summer had arrived in Charm and it was beautiful.
Or maybe it hadn't just arrived. Maybe it had been developing all along, little by little, washing the area in bright color, and it was only Darla who had just opened her eyes to it.
She supposed she'd had an excuse; things had been mighty busy.
Though their mother was still gone, she and her siblings had finally settled into a regular routine. Patsy helped out even more, Maisie looked after Gretel when she could, and Samuel and Evan now helped Aaron in the fields without complaint.
And Aaron? Well, Aaron had changed the most! He was still getting counseled by the bishop. Those talks, together with Hope's belief in him, had worked wonders. He was hardworking and at peace. He'd gone through their father's things, realized that their father had been something of a farm equipment hoarder, and held a tent auction. Everyone who had attended was very generous. The money collected had gone toward their bills, living expenses, and savings. In addition, he was helping out at a neighboring dairy farm. That extra money, along with Darla's income, kept the family firmly afloat.
Things were going to be all right. For all of them, it seemed.
When she turned the corner to head to the post office, she spotted Lukas standing outside the door, leaning against the brick wall, one of his feet braced up against it. Looking like he hadn't a care in the world.
“Lukas? What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you.”
“Why?” She pushed back the rush of happiness and tried to tamp it down with reality. “Is something wrong?”
“Nope.” He grinned.
“Then?” Goodness, his lazy smile and short answers made this conversation like pulling teeth!
“Obviously, I wanted to talk to you. And since you are sur
rounded by too many people at your house, I figured this was the best place for us to speak privately.”
“I am supposed to start working soon. We can't talk too long.”
He shrugged. “If everyone has to wait, then they have to wait. Come on, Darla. Let me in.”
She pulled out her keys and tried not to notice that her hands were shaking.
After she'd refused Lukas's proposal the night after he'd visited Aaron, Lukas had backed off a bit.
Oh, he hadn't been distant, but he hadn't flirted with her, either. It was as if he'd pushed them firmly back into being just friends. Ironically, she hadn't liked that. She'd missed his touches, his teasing comments, even those heated glances he'd sent her from time to time.
But today, it seemed that had changed. He was staring at her intently. It seemed they were moving away from being just friends again. Glancing at him, she tried to guess what he was up to now.
But instead of giving her another sign, he merely held out a hand.
“Here. Let me.” He took the keys from her, sorted through the ring, then finally inserted the proper key into the door. It unlocked easily.
“Um, this is a government office. Only I should be doing these things.”
“I won't tell a soul if you don't,” he said over his shoulder as he opened the door and guided her inside. The moment she walked through, he closed it behind her and locked it again.
“Lukas!”
“I meant it. I want to talk to you and I don't want to be interrupted.”
After setting her tote and handbag on the counter, she folded her arms across her chest and attempted to look irritated. “Well, you have me now. Say what you need to say.”
But instead of being cowed by her stance, he laughed. “Oh, I will,” he said as he stood directly in front of her.
She bit her lip and stared at him.
“Darla, you ready to listen?”
“I am.”
He exhaled, looking pleased. “First off, I want you to know that I don't regret asking you to marry me so many times.”
“If you don't, then why did you stop?”
“I realized you needed time. I wanted to give that to you.”
“That was . . . That was mighty kind of you.”
He shrugged. “It was nothing. I want to make you secure and happy, Darla. After all, that's what love is, right?”
Wait. Love?
“Lukas, did you just sayâ”
“Darla, hold on a sec, wouldja? I practiced my speech and I'm sort of on a roll right now.”
Still kind of stunned, she dropped her hands. “Is that right?”
Looking earnest, he nodded. “Yep. You see, you might not know it, but I figure I've been in love with you for some time. Years.”
“Years?”
“
Jah
,” he said, still looking as if he was intent on stating his piece. “However, I wasn't sure if you felt the same way, or if what I felt was merely friendship.”
“I feelâ”
“Darla, I know you like to talk, but let me finish this, okay?”
“All right,” she said around a smile.
“Danke.”
His gaze turned tender as he lifted a hand and carefully brushed his palm against the curve of her jaw. “Um, as I was saying, I've loved you for a long time, but after the fire . . . well, everything went astray.”
“I think I went astray for a while, too,” she revealed. “I let all the pain in my heart cloud what I saw right before my eyes.”
Lukas nodded. “We let so many people tell us what we should be feeling that we lost track of how important our feelings really were. That our feelings mattered, too.” After taking a fortifying breath, he continued. “Darla, I'm just going to say this. I don't know what really happened that day of the fire. I don't know if I could have done a better job organizing everything in the warehouse. I don't know if Paul could have called for help sooner or if my
daed
should have acted more quickly or if your
daed
really did make a mistake. All I do know is that our fathers would not have wanted us to still be dwelling on it.”
“I agree. Our fathers were the kind of men who appreciated each day. Who enjoyed living. Who enjoyed love and family and life.”
“So, will you let me love you every day?”
“I will.”
His expression warmed as his voice softened. “Will you let me court you, the way a lady like you deserves to be courted?”
“I think you've already been doing that. But yes, Lukas, I will let you.”
He leaned closer. “Will you let me take you on more walks? If you want, I'll even break out my father's old courting buggy.”
“You'd do that for me?”
“I'd do just about anything for you.”
“I'd do just about anything for you, too,” she said with a smile. “I'd even let you lock me inside the post office.”
His grin was a beautiful thing to see.
At last, she could give him the answer he'd been looking for. “Lukas, ask me your question.”
He went still. “Sure?”
“Very sure.”
“All right.” Taking a fortifying breath, he reached for her hand. “Darla, will you marry me?”
Staring up at him, she thought about everything she'd known him to be. When they were little, he'd been her swimming instructor and as they'd grown older, her confidant. Lately, he'd been her protector.
But through it all, more than anything, he'd been her friend. She could laugh with him like no other. He could tease her and please her like no one else. They were both stubborn and steadfast. They were two people who were better together.
And it had always been that way.
Around a sigh, she at last said the words she'd always dreamed she'd say one day. “Yes, Lukas. I will marry you.”
He grinned broadly again. At least, she thought he did. It was kind of hard to tell since he pulled her to him, hugged her close, then kissed her.
After a moment, she lifted her arms and pressed them against his chest, enjoying the feel of him.
“You make me happy, Darla,” he breathed.
“You make me happy, too,” she replied.
Just then someone started knocking at the door. “Hello?” a voice called. “It's nine
A.M.
Is anyone there? Darla?”
She broke away. “I must get that.”
“You can. In a minute,” he said as he kissed her cheek. “Just let me enjoy this moment.”
More knocking erupted. Then voices and grumbling.
“But the mail . . .”
“Will wait.”
As the pounding on the door got worse, she pulled away. “I need to open the door. I've got customers, you know.”
“Fine.” He turned, unlocked the door, and threw it open. “Hold on, everyone. Darla is busy with me.”
A stream of seven faces gaped back at him. Finally, Mr. Carson called out, “Lukas Kinsinger, what are you doing in there?”
“Asking Darla to marry me.”
While a couple of the ladies giggled, Mr. Carson tipped up his ball cap and glared. “Give him your answer, and be quick about it, Darla. I've got things to do.”
As the crowd outside started laughing and calling out all kinds of comments, Lukas held up one finger. “Give us a sec, everyone,” he said before closing the door once more.
“Lukas! You can't do that.”
“Sure I can. It ain't every day that a couple gets engaged.”
Smiling at him, Darla decided she couldn't fault his logic. Because right now, right that minute, she felt only happiness.
Happiness and joy.
Two things she'd never take for granted again.
White Chocolate Cranberry Blondies
A Few
Charming
Facts from Shelley Shepard Gray
A Sneak Peek from the second book in Shelley's new series, The Charmed Amish Life,
A Daughter's Dream
P
EOPLE OFTEN ASK
how I started writing. Some believe I've been a writer all my life; others ask if I've always felt I had a story I needed to tell. I'm afraid my reasons couldn't be more different. See, I started writing one day because I didn't have anything to read.
I've always loved to read. I was the girl in the back of the classroom with her nose in a book, the mom who kept a couple of novels in her car to read during soccer practice, the person who made weekly visits to the bookstore and the library.
Back when I taught elementary school, I used to read during my lunch breaks. One day, when I realized I'd forgotten to bring something to read, I turned on my computer and took a leap of faith. Feeling a little like I was doing something wrong, I typed those first words:
Chapter One
.
I didn't start writing with the intention of publishing a book. Actually, I just wrote for myself.
For the most part, I still write for myself, which is why, I think, I'm able to write so much. I write books that I'd like to read. Books that I would have liked to have in my old teacher tote bag. I'm always relieved and surprised and so happy when other people want to read my books, too!
Another question I'm often asked is why I choose to write inspirational fiction. Maybe at first glance, it does seem surprising. I'm not the type of person who usually talks about my faith in the line at the grocery store or when I'm out to lunch with friends. For me, my faith has always felt like more of a private thing. I feel that I'm still on my faith journeyâstill learning and studying God's word.
And that, I think, is why writing inspirational fiction is such a good fit for me. I enjoy writing about characters who happen to be in the middle of their faith journeys, too. They're not perfect, and they don't always make the right decisions. Sometimes they make mistakes, and sometimes they do something they're proud of. They're characters who are a lot like me.
Only God knows what else He has in store for me. He's given me the will and the ability to write stories to glorify Him. He's put many people in my life who are supportive and caring. I feel blessed and thankful . . . and excited to see what will happen next!
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