A Sorta Fairytale (16 page)

Chapter 35

Thomas

I don’t know why she does it. Why she puts herself through this misery. I know she loves Alex. I can see it in her eyes. I just don’t understand why she won’t tell me. I know she loves me too, but she loves Alex more. I love her so much. God, I love Stella James so goddamn much. I would do anything for her, even push my feelings aside. It’s something I don’t do often. But for her, I will. I would walk to the ends of the earth for that girl. I would even step aside and let someone else have her.

I haven’t touched her since I saw them in the park, because I know what they have is real. And my god, it’s killed me. Killed me that she chose Alex. Killed me that I couldn’t win her over, but I know she’s happy. She just needs to realize it. So for now I will be her shoulder to cry on. I will be that for her. Something I should’ve been for her a long time ago. I think that’s why she chose Alex. Because I was too caught up in my own selfishness to think about her needs before my own. But it was too little, too late.

A few buzzes come from my loft, and I smile. I already know who it is. Huffing and puffing, I get up from the couch and walk over to let her in. “Come on up.”

“All right, thanks.”

She doesn’t sound too happy. Hurt, in fact. Walking over to the door, I find she’s already there. I can tell she’s been crying. Her nose is red, eyes puffy. “Stella,” I whisper.

I try to lift a hand to her face, but she nudges it away. “Please don’t, Thomas.”

I sigh and drop my hand to the side. “Okay,” I say quietly. “Come on in.”

Silently, she walks in and sits down on the couch.

I hobble over toward the couch. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“Not really,” she mumbles. Wiping her eyes, she shakes it off and says, “When do you wanna go out on that date?”

Sitting down on the couch, I ask, “What date?”

“The date I told you about.” She smiles. “I told you I wanted to take you to dinner and to the opera.”

My eyebrows scrunch together. “Oh, um…right.”

“So-o-o?” she drawls out.

“Um, are you sure you want to do that?”

She thinks about it for a second. Bites at her bottom lip, contemplating, then she nods. “Yeah, I do.”

I sigh. “Okay,” I agree.

“Great.” She nods. “How about next weekend?”

I try to smile. I really do, but I can’t. I hate that she’s pushing this out even further. So I guess I’m going to have to pull a few things out of my sleeve and make her realize Alex really is the one for her. “Okay.” I smirk. “Next weekend sounds great.”

Chapter 36

Stella & Thomas

“You look fucking sexy as hell tonight. I can’t wait to take that little number off you later,” you breathe into my hair.

Of course, it sends shivers down my spine and causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. It always does. Probably always will. Closing my eyes, I give a small smile, leaning into your face, loving the way your five o’ clock shadow feels against my delicate skin. “Thank you,” I sigh as your greedy hand travels up the inside of my thigh, slowly making its way to where you want to be—where I need you to be.

You’re almost there when the BlackBerry rings. “Fuck, I should probably get that.” You look deep into my eyes, begging for me to not be angry with you.

Leaning back against the car seat, I roll my eyes. I wave a hand toward you, almost dismissing it. I know you’re going to get the phone either way, so I’d rather let you get it than be pissed off later. “Go answer the phone.”

Running a finger against my lace thong, you whisper into my ear, “I will make this up to you later.” I lean into you and whimper when you suck on my earlobe. “You like that?” you whisper, your deep, rich voice enveloping me.

“Mhm.”

“Answer me,” you demand sternly, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me onto your lap. I gasp when I feel your hardness rubbing up against the side of my ass. “You like that?”

I smile. “Yes, Thomas.”

Gripping the hair on the back of my neck you hold onto it roughly, pulling my head back. I gasp. It’s painful, yet sexy as hell. My eyes close when I feel your big, soft lips against my neck. My body shudders, my breath hitches. You can probably even see my nipples hardening through the skintight white dress. Your eyes drop to my body. “Fuck, that’s sexy,” you growl. Your eyes linger on the hardness, and then they slowly trail up to meet mine. “I can’t wait to suck on your nipples when I get the chance.” You look away from me and think for a second, then turn to me with a mischievous smile on your gorgeous face. “Hmph, why not now?”

“Yes, please.”

“Oh.” You smirk. “What is it exactly you’d like for me to do?” you ask while searching for the zipper on the back of my dress. Just as you start to pull it down, your phone rings again. We both startle, unprepared for the long ring coming from your jacket pocket. “Fuck,” you snap.

“What?”

You push me off of you and grab the BlackBerry from your pocket. “Shit.” Turning to me, you shrug. “I’ve gotta get this.” I begin to wave a hand towards you, but before I know it you monotonously answer, “Braxton here.”

I hear a little bit of your conversation. An argument here. A demand there. But then I get lost staring out the car window, watching the twinkling lights of the city blend together as we make our way to the restaurant. Seeing a couple holding hands and cuddling up in one another’s arms, I sigh. You come to mind, and I turn to stare at you, filled with wonder and thoughts about the future. A possible one.

“No, goddammit!” you bellow into the phone. Makes me feel bad for the poor bastard on the other end.

I’m mesmerized by the five o’clock shadow which always seems to be on your jaw. Your deep hazel eyes and the silk suit covering your muscled body perfectly. I think about a potential future with you. Biting on my bottom lip, I watch you. I’ve never watched you like this, and remembered. I’ve watched as you’ve ripped my clothes from me, fallen down to your knees and filled me with such pleasure. I’ve watched as you’ve gripped yourself and pushed into me. But now I watch as your chin tightens when you’re getting angry, and as your finger taps on whatever’s near when you’re anxious.
Could I have a future with you?
I wonder.
Is it possible?

“Excuse me, miss?” the driver asks. I blink at him. “We’re here.”

Looking down at his extended hand, I mutter under my breath as I slowly take his hand and step out from the car.

“It’s not a problem, miss,” he replies shyly. “I will be back at eight o’clock sharp for the opera.”

“All right.” I nod. “Thank you.”

He gives a small smile and says, “My pleasure,” before walking to the driver’s seat, getting in, and driving off.

I stare at the red lights of the limousine as it drives away. They become smaller and smaller until I don’t see them at all.

“No, that’s not right,” you say, breaking me from my thoughts.

Looking over to you, I roll my eyes and begin to walk into the restaurant without you, but you don’t like that.

You grip my upper arm to stop me. I turn around, and you mouth, “Not yet.”

I lower my head and sigh. You aren’t all bad. Actually you aren’t bad at all. You just like things a certain way and in a particular order. That’s what I like about you. It’s what makes you the top attorney at the law firm. It’s what drew me to you. It makes you fucking unbelievable in bed. I like being dominated. I like being told what to do…for the most part. But sometimes, I like to just relax. It would be nice to go out to a restaurant and be with the person you want to be with. I wonder if that could be you. I wonder if you could make me happy.

“I have to get going,” you say. “I am being given the evil eye by a beautiful woman who I don’t want to disappoint.”

I smile and glance over toward you. You’re staring at me with such passion and hunger in your eyes I have to laugh. “Smartass,” I whisper.

You release my upper arm and quickly grab my ass cheek, massaging it in your hand. Hanging up the phone, you growl into my ear, “You better behave or I’ll have to fuck you in the bathroom.”

With a snap of your fingers my insides turn to liquid. My eyes close and I release a breathy sigh.

“What are you thinking about?” you whisper against my earlobe before leaving a trail of kisses along the side of my neck.

Breathlessly, I answer, “How much I want you.”
How much I always want you.
You chuckle against my neck.
Fuck, even your laugh sends delicious shivers down my spine.

“I always want your beautiful, tight body, but right now we have reservations, and then we have the opera to attend.” You don’t let me answer, just wrap an arm around me, and together we walk into the restaurant.

The smells of delicious, over-priced food fill my senses. “Mmm.”

“Fuck, I love hearing you moan,” you murmur into my ear as the maître d walks us to our private room.

I look at you and smile when I see your pupils dilate. All you see is me, and I’m thrilled by that. I feel invincible. A part of me wishes we were in the same room as the other patrons. I know you’ll want me. You’ll probably have me, but tonight I actually want to have a conversation.

“Miss?” the maître d starts to ask when you interrupt.

“I’ve got this.”

“Yes, sir.”

I look at you, amazed you would pull my chair out for me.

“What?”

I shake my head, whispering, “Nothing.”
There’s always something behind a nothing.
Alex’s voice appears in my mind.

Once you sit down, the maître d asks, “What will you be having to drink tonight?”

You don’t hesitate. “Cristal.”

“Actually, I’ll have a glass of chardonnay.” I can feel your eyes on me as I tell the waiter. I don’t look at you just yet, but even so, my thong becomes soaked. I’m aroused, because I know exactly what is going through your dominant, beautiful mind.
Fucking me.
Slowly, I raise my eyes. The maître d has gone, and just as the door closes, you stand up and glide toward me. “Fuck, Stella, I’ve wanted to taste this pussy all damn night,” you snap out while you pull the chair aside and drop to your knees.

I’m panting. I’m craving your tongue on me. Your fingers inside me. Your body against mine as you fuck me…but not tonight. Resting a hand on your shoulder, I say your name.

“What?” you ask breathlessly, panting from the arousal of wanting to taste me, to have me once more.

Looking down at you, I lift a hand to your face and rub a finger against your cheek. “Why don’t we do something different tonight?” I can clearly see from the look on your face you don’t understand.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I pause. “Why don’t we just talk?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple request,” I laugh out. “Why don’t we just talk? We never talk.”

Standing up, you rub the back of your neck while you walk back to the seat across from mine. “Yeah, because we fuck.”

“I know.”

Just then the maître d walks in and gets our drinks situated. “Thank you,” I say.

He nods. “Yes, miss.” He tells us the specials, but we still have no clue what we want. At least I don’t. Maybe you do, or maybe not. I stare at you, wondering if a future with you is a possibility. And it’s almost as if you can read my mind, the millions of thoughts I’m thinking. When I look into your eyes, they are filled with lust. No love. Just lust. It’s then that I realize it. The shock. The burst of electricity. That in the corner of a bar with overplayed music on the jukebox, significant amounts of liquor flowing, I fell in love. With Alex McNeil. 

Thomas waves a hand at the maître d. “We will need a few more minutes.”

“Yes, sir,” he says, and then leaves the room.

I turn toward the menu, looking over the items and the prices, tears filling my eyes because I know I need to tell you. I just don’t know how exactly to go about doing it.

“Where’s that pretty little head of yours gone to?”

I blink back at you staring at me with such hunger, possession, and passion, that for just a second I forget what I’m about to do. I know I need to. A part of me thought you and I would end up together. I would take over the bad-boy lawyer and you would fall for me, but I think a part of me always knew fucking was all we were good at.

“What, Stella?” I’m surprised by the tone of your voice. You sound almost…nervous. Grabbing my chardonnay, I gulp it down. “Jesus,” you chuckle, “what’s going on with you tonight?”

My stomach tightens, my chest clenches, my bottom lip quivers. I can’t believe I’m doing this right now. “I…I can’t do this anymore, Thomas.”

You laugh, just like I expected you to. I knew you would think this is a joke because when you rely on something or someone too much you take them for granted. You don’t realize that at any second they could evaporate, disappear from your life forever. “Quit it, Stel. It’s not funny.”

I lower my head, ashamed of what I’m doing. I know a part of you cares for me. I knew you would never be in love with me. I knew that was out of the question for the two of us. We just get along because of our sexual escapades and nothing more. “I’m not laughing, Thomas.”

“Jesus. You aren’t kidding around, are you?” I take in a deep breath and release it. Slowly, I look up into your eyes, and I guess the look on my face says it all. “Oh,” you mutter, dropping your eyes from mine and looking away from me.

Tears fill my eyes, and they fall quickly. “I’m so sorry, Thomas.”

“Why?” You look up at me with disbelief on your face. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because,” I say before drawing a deep breath. The feelings and emotions wash over me. My heart breaking. No, I never truly loved you, but for a long time you were the only one there for me. No, we never talked about feelings, that wasn’t in our repertoire. Holding, touching, fucking…those definitely were. “Because for a long time it was just the two of us.”

“And then a third came into the picture,” you trail off.

I lower my head, ashamed that I couldn’t find happiness with you. Ashamed that I found happiness with Alex in just a few short months, when I couldn’t have that with you in over two years. “Yeah,” I whisper.

Your jaw tenses, your eyes fill with rage. You look away from me. My mouth opens, but I close it. I don’t know if I should say it or not. You look at me again, your eyes darting back and forth between mine. “What is it you wanna say?” Every emotion washes over me. Anger, rage, sadness, hurt. “Please don’t cry, Stel,” you rasp. I grab the white tablecloth and dab my eyes. My stomach clenches and I try to control my breathing. “Breathe,” you calmly whisper.

I shake my head, muttering, “I can’t.” I forget that you’ve used my nickname. You never use it. Only Alex does. And now my two separate lives are blending together. Meshing and entwining.

Quickly, you get out of your seat and pull it toward me. You place your hands on my thighs. I’m surprised you don’t do it as a sexual notion, more like a compassionate, calming, soothing one. Taking the cloth from my hand you dab at my face. “Please don’t cry, Stel.”

“I just...” Closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath and let it out. “Why weren’t you like this when we were together? I know we were never really together, but this is the closest anyone has ever been to you, Thomas.”

“I know,” you say softly. “A part of me could’ve fallen for you. I…I’ve always loved you. I’ve just never been in love with you. You deserve someone who’s going to take care of you and love you unconditionally. Someone who would go to the world’s end to save you. And that’s not me. I’m not that person for anyone. I’m just not that type of man.”