A Step to Nowhere (10 page)

“Is something wrong?”

I raised my eyes. The driver was overweight, bold, his face covered with red spots, and his eyes were scared.

“Everything is fine,” I said as I squeezed the change in my fist.

Don’t talk. Why did he get so nervous? Did he suspect something?

I went to the far end of the bus, passing people who didn’t look at me. Almost all of them were sitting on the seats that seemed uncomfortable. Only one young man was standing, gazing out the window.

I couldn’t see well in the glasses, but the seat at the very end was empty and I fell on it when the bus moved forward, touching the shoulder of the woman by the window. I straightened up, smiled at her. She was young, cute, with two braids. Her outfit was gray and interspersed with silver threads. You could say fancy, compared to the others. She glanced at me with curiosity.

I stared at the seat in front of me to avoid her gaze. There was nothing written on the back of the chair; nothing was as I had imagined. Everything on this bus was neat and clean. Yes, they were so neat and clean outside and full of crap inside. Maybe not of all them? Probably not, but what difference did it make? If they had an opportunity to come into my world and destroy somebody’s life just to get a few moments of pleasure without any consequences, would they say no?

Who are we for them?

“Sorry, do we know each other?”

I startled, turned to the girl for a second to negatively shake my head. I even smiled again just to look natural.
Shit. Shit!

“I think I’ve seen you somewhere.”

I shook my head again, without looking at her, even though I could see with my side view that the girl was studying me.

“Your face is so familiar.”

I had glasses on; who could she see in me? What did she need from me? Didn’t she notice that I wasn’t hot to talk to her? Maybe it was normal in this world to not answer a stranger’s questions. Maybe it was normal to be annoying. I wanted to talk back, but I was silent. And I was smiling.

“I saw you yesterday, I’m sure of it.”

Smile and be quiet. Maybe she will think you’re nuts and leave you alone. Seriously, leave me alone.

“I think we have even talked.”

“I don’t know you,” I hissed. Be quiet! “Sorry.”

The bus stopped, I jumped from the seat and ran to the exit, pushing the guy in my way. I apologized without stopping and flew onto the street.

I stopped, gasping for air and looking around. We hadn’t gone too far and this part of the town differed from the previous one only in absence of the screen. Here, I saw much less advertising. I tried to think what area of my town it would be, but couldn’t guess. The place was strange, but at the same time familiar. Like the same scenery in a different time of the year.

Where should I go? Should I wait for another bus, hoping there would be no nosy ladies? Jesus, what an annoying bitch she was. She had to figure out the location of our non-existent meeting. What if everyone in this world was like that? It didn’t matter. I had to get to Park Street and no strangers, thank you very much.

I turned to the bus that was driving away from the station. I had to wait for the next one and try to look natural. Don’t panic, blah, blah.

I froze in horror. The girl who had been sitting beside me didn’t stay on the bus as I’d assumed. She was standing close to me, by the two men in green, talking to them. All three of them were looking in my direction.

Okay. Great. She’s complaining about me, judging by the look of things, to the local police. That’s just great! What a bitch! What should I do now?

Turning away from them, I moved along the road. I tried not to hurry and to pretend that nothing was going on. I was just a regular citizen of Planet One, leave me alone. What did she want from me? Who did she think I was? What if I looked like some criminal? I could look like someone without being a mirror copy. I didn’t take off my glasses on the bus, which was probably suspicious. Oh, Jesus. What if she had thought I was a criminal? Now they would catch me, find out who I was and return me to the corporation. People there would be happy to cook me in the microwave like a turkey.

“Excuse me! Excuse me, lady in the gray suit!”

He’s talking to me.

I increased the pace. There was a road to the right, a forest of houses to the left.

What should I do? I’ve never run from anyone and this is another planet!

“Lady in the gray suit!” The voice was louder and closer. “We need to check your identification code. Stop, please!”

Yeah, right. That’s gonna happen. To the left and through the river of cars, or to the right and to the buildings? People passed me; they walked toward me, but didn’t look at me. As if I was a ghost in some supernatural movie. But I saw their eyes. They were scared. Like they would turn to stones after looking at me.

“Miss!”

I heard the pounding of feet behind me. I looked back at them. One of the men in green ran after me, the other one talked into some black thing that looked like a portable radio. The girl put her hand to her forehead as a sunshield and watched me.

Why did she do it? Why? Was she an honored citizen of her county? Did they get rewards for spotting the criminals? What?

To the buildings.

I didn’t wait for the man in green to catch up with me. I dashed to the gray box-shaped buildings, knocking down pedestrians on my way. No one screamed at me for that; they didn’t call me names. Like nothing had happened. I would think they were robots if not for their eyes, full of fear.

“Stop! Now!”

Don’t look back. Two tall apartment buildings on my way and between them a gap, wide enough to let two people through. I ran between two buildings, squeezed between heavy walls on both sides, taking in muggy and dusty air. Behind my back, the sound of running feet. Orders to stop by the word of law. I tore off my glasses. No conspiracy needed. If they didn’t catch me I was going to get lost and cry for them to arrest me.

An empty courtyard, overgrown with trees. I crossed it without any idea what I was doing or where I was going. I didn’t know where to run, where to hide. I saw a rock on the ground and grabbed it, almost falling nose down in the dust. I turned to the man chasing me and threw the rock without aim. I didn’t expect it to hit the chaser in the face, but it did. The man wailed, grabbed his cheek that turned bloody, shook his head, and screamed something unintelligible.

I ran further and saw a wall of entrances with porches leading to them. I stopped, gazing around, suffocating.

What am I doing? Where am I running? They will find me anyway. They will kill me. Where?

There was another gap on the left. I spanned the distance with all my might, trying not to think of the air burning my throat, of my lungs refusing to breathe. Once, I glanced back and saw that the man had fallen behind, but kept following me. The side of his face was covered in blood. He ran and now he had … a gun in his hand? No way! What was he going to do? Shoot me right now? Great! How’s that for an adventure?

I skimmed between the buildings and heard the sound of exploding glass before getting there. He was shooting, son of a bitch!

Another courtyard. I stopped, searching for another way to escape, breathing hard. Another passageway, and I ran there. I didn’t understand where I was, where the road was, or what was happening. I couldn’t breathe, my throat was burning, my legs were shaking. Another courtyard, then one more. The man had gotten lost somewhere, but I kept running. I didn’t know how many yards I had crossed; I stopped noticing anything. In the next courtyard I stumbled and fell, scratching my left palm and kissing the ground.

I coughed when dust got into my mouth and lungs.

“Here!” I heard a woman’s voice. “Here! Hurry!”

I started to stand up, looking around, and saw an older woman by one of the entrances. She waved to me.

“Hurry! Before they see you!”

What could I lose? The woman didn’t look dangerous and I rushed to her. In the next moment we were inside the building. The door slammed shut behind our backs.

“Who are you?” I whispered.

“I’ll tell you later,” she whispered back and reached her hand to me. I accepted her help and she pulled me after her. “I know who
you
are. That’s important.”

CHAPTER 13

We entered a spacious, clean lobby then walked into a clean, bright elevator, and rode to the tenth floor. The woman didn’t say a word on our way, just held my hand tightly and watched the numbers changing on the screen at the top.

“Thank you,” I whispered, but she didn’t reply.

She let my hand go, unlocking a metal door, and immediately locked it again when we entered the apartment.

We were in the dark, narrow corridor that smelled of burnt milk and the woman grabbed my hand again.

“I received a call,” she said, pulling me into the light. We entered the small room, chock-full of books from top to bottom. I noticed a Nabokov volume. “They told me the
irnaner
is being chased. Sit down.”

I didn’t ask what
irnaner
was, why it was chased, or why I should know about it, but I sat on one of four chairs, standing around the wooden table in the middle of the room. There was a window in front of me, but I saw only a silhouette of another building. The room I was in also had a bed, covered with an old, gray blanket. A plain, plastic chandelier was under the ceiling, the floor was wooden and also old. I didn’t notice a big difference between this apartment and one on my planet.

The woman knew about me. How and what exactly?

“Wait a second, please. I burnt my
sheky
while I was talking on the phone. Do you want something to drink? Why am I even asking? Of course you do.”

I had sand in my mouth and hadn’t revived myself yet. I hadn’t started thinking reasonably, hadn’t accepted the reality of the events, and waited for everything to be over. Something banged in another room. I looked at the
 
clutter of books on the table and picked up one of them. “Planet One to Planet Two. Phrase-book.” Jesus. I wanted to check inside, but the woman entered the room and gave me the glass filled with some light-green liquid.

“Is pochin okay?”

I nodded. If only I had known what it was. Returning the thin book to the table, I accepted the glass.

I wanted to sniff the drink before trying it, but was afraid to offend the hostess who sat opposite me. She drank the same from her glass.

I took a sip, then another. It was okay. Something resembling diluted apple juice. I’d never been a fan of it during childhood, but for some reason liked to have it with pizza when I became an adult.

“I don’t know how long you can stay here,” the woman said as she put the empty glass on the table. Somebody will inform on you. I think you have time to take a shower if you want. You have to clean your wounds.”

I looked at my scratched hands. They didn’t hurt. Did this woman really know who I was? I didn’t know what to say. Hi, I’m Samantha Anderson. Yesterday I was bored with life – today I have escaped my own murder, fled from police, and rolled in the dirt. At the moment I was drinking something in somebody’s apartment. In a parallel universe. The woman in front of me could be anyone in my world … Just a minute … I swallowed and put my glass on the table. She really could be anyone. She was a teacher in the art school where my mom made me go for a year. She was a kind woman on my planet, even though she could be strict when it was necessary.

“What’s that?” the woman asked.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. What should I say? How should I start the conversation? Thank you for saving me, I’m from Planet Two, I need to find a way to get home.

“Your face seems familiar to me.” The woman screwed up her eyes.

I shrugged and started to drink again, trying to find the words. Should I lie? Should I tell the truth? I had a feeling the woman was mistaken about my origin. She probably thought I was somebody else.

“What did they assign to you?” the woman asked. “I’m Velma, by the way.”

“I know … I mean … I’m Sam.” I put the glass back on the table.

“What did they assign to you? Do you even know?”

I shook my head. She absolutely did not know who I really was.

The woman covered her face with her hands and sat like that for a few seconds before looking at me again.

“The old man is getting completely mad,” she said. “No one can stop him. Everything we try to do is just a drop in the ocean. You’ve heard of us, right?”

I shrugged.

“
Hlifian
?”

I had to explain to her who I was. I had to explain why I didn’t understand what she was talking about.

“I’m sure you have. There’re not too many of us, just a few hundred all around the country. People are afraid to join. If somebody snitches on me, the movement will lose another member. I will have to hide, maybe even move to a different city. Honestly, I want to get out of here. The planet Two would be the perfect place, but it’s not safe either. They can find anyone there if they want. It’s good I don’t have children, so I don’t have to worry about them. I wanted a daughter when I was younger, now I’m happy to be alone. Do you play lottery?”

I shook my head.

“I don’t believe them. Something’s wrong. I’m not alone in thinking that. Everyone in the movement has their opinion about the lottery and it’s not good. We can’t find out though. Think for yourself. Can this dictator make people happy? He’s not
capable
of gestures like that. He doesn’t need it. Do you want something to eat?”

“No, thank you,” I said. I didn’t want to drink or eat. I suddenly felt exhausted. I wanted all of this to be over, I wanted to be home. In my bed. Ray? His place wasn’t even in my dreams.

“You have only one choice,” the woman said as she walked to the window and looked outside. “You must go to The City of Lost. Life is not sugar there, but if you have Bristow’s dogs on your tail, there’s nothing else you can do. Maybe you’ll be lucky and leave the country.” The woman sat in front of me again. “Of course, very few people have that kind of luck. Most of them lie down, stay at the limits. I’ve heard of some who did it. You are so young and beautiful, what could they assign to you? Whose road did
you
cross?”

I had no idea what she was talking about. It was confession time. Maybe she could help me? Even to get to Park Street?

“Velma,” I said.

She screwed up her eyes.

“You’re not an irnaner?”

“I don’t know what irnaner is.”

“Everyone knows that.”

“You see … I … How should I say it? … I’m not exactly from here. I’m from Planet Two.”

The woman’s eyes became big and round, her mouth hung open, she jumped from the chair, knocking it over, and almost fell herself. I rushed to her, grabbed her arm for support, but the woman pushed me away.

“You’re lying!” she screamed.

“No, I’m not.”

“They can’t get into our dimension!”

“They don’t want to, trust me. They are being dragged in here. Taken and drugged. I don’t know how to explain better. No one asks our permission or desire.”

The women stretched out her arm in front of her, like I would attack her and bite. She was breathing hard and didn’t take her fearful eyes away from me.

“I’m not contagious,” I said.

“It cannot be,” Velma whispered.

“Tell me about it. You think you’re surprised. Imagine my reaction! Just yesterday, I had no idea that a parallel world could actually exist. Or you. Today—I’m here. Hooray! Maybe you consider us as exotic animals, but we are the same as you are. Maybe a little better.”

“What are you accusing me of?” the woman mumbled. She looked confused, but kept holding her arm outstretched in my direction.

“You personally? I have no problem with you. You probably saved my life. But there’s at least one person who deserves the title – Jerk number one from Planet One.”

“The person from our planet contacted you and brought you here?” Finally the woman dropped her arm and only blinked.

“Oh, yes! There was some kind of contact, all right,” I answered angrily and could hardly hold my tears. “He pretended to be someone I used to be in love with. His … I don’t even know … leaders … found out about it and here I am. Nice to meet you. His majesty was pleased to save me from the microwave, but now I have to take care of myself … myself.
I have no desire to stay long on your planet. I want to go home, but I don’t know if I can get there in the near future. If ever.”

The woman covered her mouth with her hand and gazed at me as if I was either Goddess or Demon.

“We’ve heard rumors about rule-breaking,” she said, barely audible, “but nothing concrete. We didn’t know if that was the truth. Have you been in the corporation?”

“Not of my will; but yes.”

“We’ve heard they have a death block there. Is it true?”

“They call it something more sophisticated, but it’s the same crap … sorry , thing.”

Velma’s other hand went to her heart area.

“So, it
is
true. Oh, my Mar. It’s even worse than we thought. Girl, you came to
lleh
.”

I think she meant hell. And yes, I already knew that. Thank you very much.