A Stray Drop of Blood (66 page)

She gave a small nod. “I know.”

He brushed a feather-light kiss over her cracked lips, then drew away. “I will not keep you waiting long. Lie down, rest, and I will talk to you again tomorrow.”

But it was panic that lit her eyes instead of agreement, and she pulled away. “No. I will not stay here another night, Titus. Did you not hear him? He wishes me dead!”

How many times must he say the same thing? “It is not safe for you at the villa.”

“
It is far less safe for me here. Look at me, Titus.” She held a hand to her face. “This is what has become of my obedience to you on this matter. I will not endanger myself or the children or your babe by remaining any longer in this house.”

She stood to prove her point, and he mirrored her, not sure whether he intended to argue the point or admit defeat. He had the chance to do neither. She no more than straightened before she cried out in pain and doubled over again. She would have fallen in a heap on the floor had he not reached out quickly and caught her.

“
Abigail!” he called, even as Phillip burst through the door. She did not seem to hear him. Agony was etched onto her face as it had been not so many months ago, the first time he had held her in his arms. “Abigail, speak to me.”

“
Titus, there is blood.” Phillip’s voice was saturated with horror.

“
The baby.” Titus knew he sounded as terrified as he was, but he did not care a whit for Stoicism at the moment. He picked her up and put her back on the bed as he shouted, “Go for a doctor! Take Timothy with you, he knows where to find the best. Hurry!”

Phillip’s quick footsteps pounded away. Miriam appeared to help him position Abigail on the mattress. When they tried to shift her, she groaned and curled up in a ball from which they could not urge her, arms and knees drawn up to protect her abdomen.

“
I will kill him,” Titus muttered, seeing the stain of red grow on her garment. “If she dies, so will he.”

Miriam looked up at him out of narrowed eyes. “She needs your support right now, not your anger.”

Titus uncurled one of Abigail’s fists so that he could weave his fingers with hers. With his other, he soothed the hair from her face. “Help is coming, my love. You are strong, all will be well.”

Miriam drew in a long breath. “We will need rags. I will stay with her, I know what to do. My first mistress miscarried, and I was with her the entire time.”

“
She will not lose the baby,” Titus corrected her with burning eyes.

Miriam gazed at him silently for a moment. “We will need rags to staunch the blood regardless. Go get someone to fetch them, Titus, and have them bring fresh water.”

“
You go. I will not leave her.”

Miriam stared him down in frustration. “Titus, this is a woman’s problem, and I know far better how to handle it than you. Nothing will happen to her in the three minutes it will take you to accomplish those errands, and the servants will obey you far more quickly than they will me.”

That last was enough to convince him. He eased away, freed his hand. “You are right. I will be back immediately, beloved.” He kissed her fingers.

By the time he reached the door, he was at a run. And he felt a dark enemy chasing him, biting at his heels with every step. Speed would not help him escape it, running would only propel him into its talons.

He dropped to his knees in the middle of the corridor, then fell prostrate on the floor. “Lord, return to me!” he cried with anguish that tore his soul in two. “Forgive me and return! Do not punish her and the babe for my sins, I beg you!”

He felt the Spirit whisper over him, and the cleansing it brought took away his breath. A moment later, he found himself back on his feet, a single impression present in his mind:

Hurry
.

Chapter Forty-Two

Titus rushed back from the servants’ hall, orders given, his mind looping endlessly in fervent prayer. He did not even know anymore what he was praying, but he knew that the Lord understood the cries of his heart. He knew, too, that his heart wanted nothing more than to be beside Abigail, and not just in this moment. But he did not have time to think about anything right now.

He was just entering the main part of the house when Caelia called out from behind him, tears in her voice. “Titus!”

Reluctantly, he turned. He saw her running toward him, still gathering her clothes about her, tears coursing down her cheeks. “Your father–he forced himself upon me–”

She had reached him and latched onto his arm. He pulled away from her. “I do not have time for your antics, Caelia. Abigail is lying upstairs, the life of our child bleeding out of her, because of my father’s violence. At this moment, I am not too concerned about whether or not he has found his pleasure with you.”

Her tears dried rather quickly. “Child!” Her lips snarled, malice gleaming in her eye. “I hope she dies with it! She only wants to manipulate you–”

Titus grabbed the wrist she was reaching out toward him and pressed in a place that brought her to her knees in pain. “You will never say such things about her. And if you value your own life, you will make every attempt possible to keep your face out of my sight from now on.”

He spun around and strode away, ignoring the curses she spewed at him in a language he did not understand. He had made it to the courtyard before he was hailed again, this time by his mother. He paused with a sigh as she approached.

Curiosity covered her face. “What is going on?”

He motioned her to join him as he continued toward Abigail’s room and informed her briefly of what had happened. A glance at her face showed him that she had paled with the news. She stopped outside the door through which groans could be heard.

She seemed to struggle a moment with what she wanted to say. At last, she threw back her shoulders. “Go, see to her. I will make sure a wet nurse is found for Benjamin, and I will have the children and Antonia moved into my chambers. Caius would not look for them there. I doubt he would harm Benjamin, but Samuel is another story. Titus,” she said when he reached for the door. Her eyes were serious. “Send me word when the physician arrives. I will light a candle to Juno for her.”

Titus shook his head. “For all else I thank you, but do not utter a word of Abigail to Juno. If you wish to pray, pray to her God, not yours.”

Aquilia seemed shocked by that suggestion. “I do not know her God!”

“
He knows you.” Her offered her a fleeting smile, then entered the room. He found Miriam and Abigail right where he had left them. He took his place and her hand again. “The supplies will be here in a moment.”

A servant arrived with rags and fresh water a minute later, and soon after that Phillip returned with the physician. A scholarly looking man, the doctor stopped beside the bed and looked down at the woman curled up in pain. He glanced at Titus. “Before I determine how best to help, perhaps you should inform me of what happened to this girl?”

Titus knew the man thought he had done the damage, though a mere physician would not dare to voice any disapproval. “My father happened. He would have beat her to death if I had not come in. She is with child.”

The doctor looked at the blood-soaked rags and sighed.“Judging by the look of her, she was not very far along. Miscarriages are common in early pregnancy, keep that in mind, Lord.”

Titus suddenly realized the man was fearful, and for good reason. He had friends who had ruined physicians who could not save their family. He made his voice soft and moved to give him access to Abigail. “I know there is only so much in your power, my friend. Please, just do what you can for her. I realize. . .” he choked on his own words. “I realize you may not be able to save my child. Please, just try to save Abigail.”

The doctor took the place Titus had vacated and examined her for a few moments. Amid her groans and whimpers, he shook his head. “The pain is great for her, and will probably not abate for many hours. She will be weak for a while and should not be touched.” His pointed look at Titus told them what kind of touch he was speaking of. Titus did not bother to inform him that such things would not be happening in any case. He moved his gaze to Miriam. “Keep her clean, bathe her regularly, and see that she remains comfortable. Unless infection sets in, she should be up and about in a week or two.”

Titus nodded, wondering if her heart would heal as quickly as her body. He ushered the physician out soon after, paying him for his time though in Titus’s opinion he did little to help. Stepping back into Abigail’s chamber, he felt oppressed. Daylight faded from the sky and the air coming through the window was cool. The tension was thick and brutal. He fell to his knees beside the bed and rested his forehead on its edge.

“
Forgive me,” he whispered, to Abigail and to God. “The first obstacle I faced, and I stumbled. And not only did I stumble, I took with me on my fall the best gift I had ever received. My Father, I do not deserve your mercy. She does. Not for my sake, but for hers I ask you to put your hand upon her in healing.” His hands, linked above his head on the mattress, clenched into fists of affliction. He heard Miriam and Phillip slip out of the room. “Lord God, you know my heart, in its weaknesses and its desires. You know that my love for her is pure, even if my wants are not. I have lied even to myself this day, this past month. My mind would have me cry out to you, ‘Why do you punish her for my sins? Why did you not see my hidden desire and respond to it instead of my words?’ But my soul knows that these thoughts are unjust. You have given us all freedom, and we abuse it. My father’s actions are not your will, yet I trust they will work to your good. Please, Father Jehovah, forgive me. And please, too, give me the strength to forgive my tormenters, even as your Son did.”

He halted, unable to find the words to put to the stirring of his soul. Rather than try and fail in that, he let silence fall around him, his heart inclined toward heaven. He felt a feather light touch upon his head and looked up to find Abigail trying to look at him through one swollen eye. He picked up her hand from where weakness had made her drop it right in front of him and kissed her fingers gently.

“
The baby?” Abigail murmured.

Titus shook his head. When she closed her eyes again and turned her face away in pain, he felt his heart clench within him.

“
I am sorry.” She winced, gasped. “I prayed selfishly when I realized it this morning. The Lord heard and punished me.”

“
No.” He got up and sat beside her so that he could put a hand on her face to urge her to look at him again. His smile felt small, soft on his mouth. “Abigail, the Lord hears your heart, not your words. And in your heart, you would never wish an innocent dead for your own convenience, I know that. Surely God, in his wisdom, knows that you did not mean any selfish thoughts. Just as he surely knows that this is not the best way to save you from ruin. The blame for this is divided among us, my love, between us and my father, but it does not touch Jehovah. He knows, just as I do, that I would have married you. There is no way I could let the children suffer for my actions. This would not be his answer.”

Abigail shook her head degree by degree. There were tears stinging her eyes. “I would not marry you out of duty, Titus.”

He smiled anew. “It would not have been duty, Abigail. I love you. I want to help you raise the children; Benjamin, Samuel, and all those we would have together. I want you to be the mother of my sons, dear one, and I want my daughters to walk with your grace.” He saw her cracked lip quivering with emotion, and he leaned down and brushed a kiss over it. “Rest now, beloved. We will speak more of this when you are better. We cannot move you until then, but I will use the time to make the villa safe for you. And I will make sure that Phillip and Panther are both here at all times to watch over you.”

“
The children?”

He smiled. “With my mother. They will be taken care of. Now rest. You lost much blood.”

Abigail closed her eyes to obey, but she soon opened them and looked at him. Something in her face relaxed. “I have missed seeing that peace in your eyes, Titus.”

He wove their fingers together. “I have missed feeling it there. I was simply too stubborn to realize it.” He drew in a long breath. “I am sure I will make many mistakes, my love, many not so bad as this, but perhaps some even greater. I cannot promise otherwise. I do not understand the faith as well as you, I do not know all the laws I should obey. But I can promise this; I will not make the same mistake again. And I will never close my heart off to God as I did this past month.”

Abigail gave his fingers a weak squeeze and let her eyes slide closed. “I love you.”

“
I know.” He sighed. “It is the greatest blessing of my life.”

~*~

Titus had succeeded in avoiding his father almost entirely over the intervening two weeks, as he attempted to come to some conclusion as to the best resolution of the situation. He was simply not ready to deal with him, to face him, to speak his mind. Instead, Titus dedicated his efforts to strengthening his business connections and arranging for Abigail’s move to the villa. Everything was coming together beautifully, which was an answer to his continual prayers. That also meant, however, that the impending altercation with his father could be put off no longer.