A Tattered Love (30 page)

I was going over to my parents’ house to cool the air with Mom today. I was sure I would have to do the same with Carla, too. One at a time though. Sabrina has Molly for two weeks since she was taking her on vacation. I was excited for Christmas, and getting to spend it with my baby. I won’t lie, I missed Riley every day, but I had come to realize life must go on without her. She left me, and she had her reasons whether I was able to understand them or not. I needed to focus on Molly now. I needed to get her bedroom set up, and buy her some furniture. My job had about had it with me, so I needed to make sure I did something about finding another job soon.

I pulled up to my parents’ house, and thought to myself that this had better go over well. If she wanted to see her granddaughter, she had better find a way to make me want to stay and talk.

She opened the door wide, smiling from ear to ear. “Come on in, honey.” She gestured with her hand to come in.

“Hi, Mom,” I said blandly.

“Come. Sit.” She followed behind me into the living room.

I sat on the couch and looked around at how literally nothing had changed in this house since I was a kid. Richly decorated with sculptures and huge paintings on the walls. It was so formal, and there was no personal touch to it. No pictures of the family, nothing like that. It almost made me sad.

“So, what’s on your mind, Dustin?” She smiled, but it almost had evil written across it.

“I’m sure you know I’ve got Molly now every week. We switch the days on and off, but I’m just happy I get to see her more.” I sighed, “I want you and dad to be a part of her life, but I want you to support me and my decisions, not for me to do just what you want me to do. I’m a grown man, and I can handle my life on my own.”

“We’d love to be a part of her life. We didn’t get to see her much growing up.”

“You’re ignoring the only part of the conversation that bothers me the most.” I tucked my lips together and made a popping sound as I breathed out. “I’m serious, Ma, I need you to support my life the way I want to live it.”

“Dustin, I’ll always be your mother, and I’ll always suggest to you how to do things in life because that’s just how I am. I want you to succeed and do things right.”

I got situated in my seat as it made me furious that she still thinks she needed to control my life just because it was right in her eyes. I slid my hand over my face and rubbed it letting out a sigh. I didn’t want to come off mean, but I needed to say what was on my mind.

“Not everything I do may be the right way in your eyes, but in my eyes, it’s the way for me. You need to learn to accept that.” I let it all out, but the look on her face didn’t make her look too happy that I said it.

She just nodded at me. Then the room fell silent. We sat there speechless in front of one another until Mom finally broke the silence.

“I’m just glad that you came to your senses. I’m elated that someone decided to listen to my advice. Now things are better for you, with Riley gone?”

I looked at her with a blank stare. What had she just said? How did she know Riley was gone? I hadn’t said anything about Riley.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” I looked at her anger seeping through my pores. I was starting to get sweaty as thoughts started to drown my brain of answers to my questions for the past five months.

“What? I said I’m glad you came to your senses, son.” She dabbed her hanker chief under her eyes and blotted away a small tear. A tear of what? Sympathy? Regret?

“You also said you were happy someone decided to listen to your advice. Well, I can tell you I didn’t listen to your advice. I can also tell you I didn’t say anything about Riley leaving. So tell me, what the fuck did you do, Mom?” Disappointed in myself that I just dropped an "f" bomb on my mother, but I was still fuming.

“Don’t raise your voice at me.” She pointed, getting angrier.

I stood up and walked over to her sitting on the couch. “What did you tell Riley? I know she must have listened to your advice since nobody else has. Spit it out, now.” I gritted the words through my teeth.

She looked over at the window avoiding eye contact with me then, occasionally, she would look at me for only seconds before she looked away.

“I told her to leave town,” is all she could get out.

My eyes grew wide, and I felt sucker punched in the stomach. Had I just heard her right? I felt like my whole body was on the verge of an anger breakdown. Riley left because of my mother! This couldn’t be happening. I just  got over the fact that Riley left for her own reasons. Not because of me, and now it flipped a  switch where it was because of my family! If my mom thought we were about to get along, then she had every  inch on her body twisted. I couldn’t believe she had done this to me. I had to find Riley. Oh god, what had I done? I should have known. I should have fucking known! For all I knew, Riley was in bum fuck Egypt by now, and I had to find her.

I stormed out of my mother’s house without saying a damn word to her. I felt it would be better if I just shut my mouth rather than open a can of worms that more than likely she wouldn’t care what I said, anyway. I got in my car and sped off toward Evan’s. I immediately called Abby.

“Hello?”

“Abby! Riley didn’t leave because she wanted to! We have to find her now!” I shouted into the phone, not angry this time, but more excited about trying to figure out where Riley was. Now that the custody battle was over, I could leave town. I had two weeks until Molly was back. I had to find her.

“Slow down, Dustin, what are you talking about? I thought we decided to let it go.”

“My mother told Riley to leave town. I don’t know why, but I knew I wouldn’t get it out of my mother. It’s been my damn fault all along. I need to find her, Abby. I need to talk to her. Please help me find her!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! Oh, my gosh, Dustin. I’m on it! Come by the house. I’m at work, but Evan is home.”

“I’m on my way!”

I headed over to Evan’s apartment, and we searched the internet crazy style trying to figure out where Riley could be. We tried calling her phone some more, but it went straight to voicemail. I was starting to think she didn’t even use that phone anymore. We searched everywhere. I searched her name on the white pages, yellow pages, Google, Bing, everywhere. Nothing came up. I was distraught, and I didn’t know what to do. I had racked my brain so hard that I was actually getting a pounding headache.

Evan patted my back, “We’ll find her, bro, and just relax.”

I looked at him, and for once in my life, I really believed we would find her. It just had to happen, and with the help of Evan and Abby, I knew we would find her.

Abby called Evan, and they talked for literally a minute before they hung up.

“What was that about?” I was curious.

“Abby said she got some info, and she’ll be home soon, and to keep you here.” He laughed. “It’s like we’ve all of a sudden became investigators!”

“If Abby can get me to Riley, I would do anything for you guys, seriously!”

Abby stormed through the door with the biggest and brightest smile on her face.

“You will never guess, but the biggest coincidence in this world happened today!”

I patted the couch next to me, and Abby came over and sat in between Evan and me.

“Spit it out!” I gave her all my attention.

“So there was this guy who came in to the restaurant, and said he was looking for a Riley Miller. I said, ‘oh, I’m sorry, she doesn’t work here anymore.’ He turned to me and then told me, ‘oh, well, maybe she’s still back home in Delaware!’ I freaked a lid on this guy, whoever the hell he was! I tried to dig for info, but the only thing he could tell me is he met her when she lost her mom back in Delaware! Oh and guess what? He said the name of the town, too!” Abby got up and started dancing around the living room so excited to have come across the information.

“Oh, my gosh, Abby. That's awesome news! Who was this guy? I mean we knew Delaware was a possibility, but her name never surfaced. Maybe now that we have a town, I can find her.” I asked her a bit hesitant.

“I know its freaking amazeballs! I don’t know. I think his name was Austin or something or another. Who cares! We know where Riley is! Let’s freaking book a ticket now I already took time off work!” She jumped up and down clapping her hands together. I didn’t know who was more excited, her or me?

“I’m down. Let's book them right now!” Evan shouted.

“You guys really are willing to go with me out there and find her?” I asked shocked.

“She was our friend too, Dustin. We have to see if she’s at least ok.” Abby reached up and hugged me tight.

I almost wanted to cry I was so happy we had actually found her. Plus it was all on a whim! It’s so hard to think that if Abby hadn’t worked today and that dude didn’t randomly come in asking for Riley, we may have never found out.

Evan and Abby rushed over to the computer and pulled up an airline website. They found cheap tickets for tomorrow and booked them all right away. I couldn’t rationalize all this happening, but I know it was something I wanted. I wanted to see Riley. I couldn’t wait to see her, and I can only pray to God that she accepts me back in her life. I wanted to find out why she had left. I needed to know what happened.

The morning came bright and early, and I was so excited but so nervous that I was shaking. Hopefully, we would be successful, and find Riley since our flight was leaving in about an hour. We were literally biting our nails thinking of how the outcome of this trip was going to be.

The plane was cold, and we all sat together in silence. It was just mind numbing knowing that once we were in Delaware, it would be just a matter of time before we found her. We didn’t have an exact location, but we were pretty confident in finding it once we were there. Abby had been bouncing in her seat left and right, and pulling her hair out, nervous, as well. Evan had just been quiet and keeping to himself. We just didn’t know how to act. We wanted it to go over well, but we had a feeling it might not be that easy.

** CHAPTER 20 **

Riley

I’m miserable. My back was hurting like crazy, and my feet were so swollen it was hard to imagine two more months of this. I felt like I was progressing so much that this baby would pop tomorrow! Hell, I looked like this baby would pop tomorrow, at least to me! Seth and Jermaine went away for the weekend on a nice trip to just be by themselves. I totally understood because Seth had been religiously helping me with everything that I needed done. We finally had finished the nursery, and everything was set except for the furniture. I was still deciding which set I wanted to purchase. Galena moved into an apartment in town, and I was so happy that she was here. She has been such a big help, and she was actually meeting up with me today in town to look for furniture for the baby’s room. I just wanted to see more options, and there was this cute little boutique right smack dab in the middle of town that I’ve been dying to go into.

I drove to the coffee shop in town and grabbed myself an unsweetened tea to get the day rolling. I waited on the corner for Galena. It has been hard for me to adjust calling her Lena though. I sat on the bench and watched as cars drove by, and it was a surreal feeling. It just made me look above the clouds and blissfully think about what was to come in the next chapter of my life. Two months would fly by in no time! It was crazy to even think about. I still thought about Dustin, wondering what kind of father he would be to our baby? How things were going with his custody for Molly? Just as the local public bus drove through town, I noticed a girl standing there with a map in her hand. I had to take a double take because it really looked like Abby. No, it couldn’t be her. What in the world would she be doing in Delaware? I sat there a little while longer and sipped my tea. I kept looking at her, and it just boggled my mind. She finally turned and faced me, and my face turned as white as a ghost. It had to be whiter than the sidewalk. In fact, I was very happy. I waved my hand in the air, and then put it down feeling stupid. I stood up and walked across the street. I needed to be closer. Then I looked down at my belly. Shit, she couldn’t know! Abby couldn’t know! I was just about to turn around and walk away when I heard my name.

“Riley! Riley! Stop! Don’t go!” Abby cried.

Shit, she had seen me.

I turned around and my head hung low. I was ashamed. As much as I wanted to hug her, and tell her how much I missed her, I was terrified for my baby’s sake. Why was she out here? It had to be because of me. It couldn’t be a vacation! Nobody takes a vacation to Delaware! She had to be mad at me. This wasn’t going to be a good meeting. She was probably going to scream at me, as a matter of fact.

“Oh my gosh, Riley, you’re pregnant!” She sighed and grabbed me in her arms tightly as she began to cry.

I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say, so I just hugged her back just as tight.