A Tiger in Eden (19 page)
I gave Lana the wink and broke one in two for us after that it was just a waiting game she kept getting me to bend over so she could scratch her nails on my head and I kept rubbing her back, don’t know if it makes any difference in it coming on but it feels good like.
The English lads thought we were great Lana starts chatting away to yer man Richie telling him all about how we met I didn’t mind sure you either can’t shut your gob or you shut it too tight when you’re on a pill. Jez was on his own wee trip but me and your man Dave started an aul conversation sure I could feel the tendrils creeping up my spine the whole time it was dead good so it was.
Fucking awesome tatts, he goes, were you in prison in Northern Ireland like, even though I was starting to take off his question still surprised me the way he asked it all casual.
Nah, I says, I always managed to stay out of it but still they’re a bit fucked I wish I didn’t have them now having to explain that shite every time I take my shirt off sure yours are better, I goes.
Don’t worry about it, he says, there’s no one judging you for the past here we’re all a big family, that’s very nice of you Dave, I says, he said it so matter of fact I was a bit humbled he leaned in close then and whispered in my ear, I just want to say I’m sorry for what we did over there bloody typical empire-building sure everywhere we go we make a balls-up we should just stay out of other people’s business.
I’d never heard the like of it honest to God. An Englishman apologising for his country, first time for everything sure he must of seen the look on my face ‘cos he laughs and goes, come on mate we’re not all cunts some of us go a bit deeper you know what I mean? Fuck it was a watershed moment for me I don’t mind telling ye
it was like the clouds parted and I could see clear for the first time that sounds corny as fuck but by the time yer man Dave was telling me all this something had a hold of my brain like a wee supernova exploding dead quiet in the back of my neck a warm shockwave marching up over my skull like thousands of wee My Little Ponies on the rampage, a herd of pink horsies descending into my eyeballs.
After that it was dance central sure Wacko Jacko had nothing on us the moves we were putting down right enough if anyone had stumbled onto Haad Rin Nok right then sure they’d think they were on the set of ‘Thriller’ or something, ten thousand people there must of been all dancing and throwing their arms in the air and whooping up an aul storm, it was magic so it was. I was dead happy dancing in the sand with my new friends and a gorgeous woman sure how lucky was I we were all hugging each other and telling each other how brilliant we were a load of aul bollocks I know but when the MDMA kicks in sure you don’t wish a single person in the world any harm, that must be how the Buddhists feel all the time except without these mad rushes of serotonin in the brain whooshing over ye.
They were good aul pills so they were, nice and smooth like yer man said and all the lights and sweat and sand and the moon was a good combo for giving you a wee trip not much mind not like one of them Dali paintings or anything just a wee bit of altered reality sort of thing. I was getting a visual echo like seeing people
moving in stages through the air their arms and heads still hanging in space even though they’d moved on, it was quite good but you had to be careful not to knock into people. Even if you did no one was bothered sure it was all sorry mate and give us a hug you big bastard ye.
Lana was bending the ear off of Richie he had an arm round her and I was feeling a bit funny about it but I know what it’s like when you’re off your face and talking to someone who’s the same. Dave must of scoped me looking at them he hands me a bottle of water and says, don’t sweat it mate Richie’s the last one you need to worry about sure he’s bent as a five-bob note.
I could hardly speak my jaw was grinding so much, what do you mean, I says, is he a bender, aye Dave laughs, course he is sure it’s bleeding obvious could you not tell.
I looked over at your man Richie and shrugged, sure how could I tell, I goes, it’s not like he’s wearing leather chaps or something.
Yeah only on weekends, Dave goes, he’s a right dirty bastard actually I walked in on him and this Thai lad two nights ago fucking hell mate what a shock that was not something you see every day know what I mean.
I laughed then, aye I can imagine, I says, burned on the aul retinas is it.
Jesus you’ve no idea, Dave goes, I mean I really opened the door at the wrong moment you know but what can you do he’s a mate we went to school together.
Boarding school was it, I says winking, God no, he says, can you imagine Richie let loose in a boarding
school sure no one would be able to sit down.
You on the prowl yourself, I goes, sure there’s loads of gorgeous women around here, nah, he goes, I’m not bothered sure you end up spending half the night letching when you could be dancing and enjoying the music it’s one or the other for me. When we’re back home we always go to the gay clubs I mean it pleases Richie and me and Jez love the music and not having drunken tits in our faces all night. That sounds weird I know I probably sound like a woofter myself but the fact is mate I’d rather keep my sex life off the dance floor, know what I mean?
Aye well sort of kind of I was thinking, anyway I had this dead warm feeling in my stomach rising up into my chest it was quite powerful so it was and I pulled Lana away from Richie not aggressive or nothing just excuse me do you mind if I cut in sort of thing.
Will, she goes dead loud, squealing all happy like she’d forgot all about me and now here I was right in front of her, oh my God you should hear Richie’s stories about what he does with the Thai boys, it’s totally wild. She leans in to my ear, a bit gross she goes, but don’t tell him I said that, it’s not getting you worked up is it, I says smiling.
God I don’t need Richie for that, she says, the combination of this X and you next to me is already a bit much I think I’d come if I kissed you at this stage.
Let’s try out your theory, I says, and put the aul lips on her. Jesus it was like we were floating on a wee cloud the tingling sensation of her lips was electric and feeling her close to me with her arms wrapped around my back
I near burst into tears something was churning up in me all right my guts were doing backflips trying to get a perfect score from the judges.
Let’s go back to the hut for a bit, she says, I want to rub myself all over you and maybe we could get some body paint and do a design on each other. I didn’t even answer just grabbed her hand in mine and nodded at Dave, see you later lovers, he goes, as we pushed our way through the crowd. It was hard going it must of taken us fifteen minutes to get back to the aul shack stopping off to grab some body paint from one of the stalls the whole time it was like having two sponges tied to your feet just bouncing along like Buzz Aldrin and them ones on the moon.
We tore the clothes off of each other once we were inside sure it was dead dark there was no electricity or nothing in the huts but we left the front door open so the moonlight could come in a wee bit, the hut was up on stilts sure no one would bother us and God help them if they did. We were both dead sweaty and had the horn real bad but just being naked together and kissing and holding on to each other dead tight was enough, we tried having a bump but it’s weird when you’re on the pills your system doesn’t work like normal you can’t come or nothing or if you do it’s hard won and almost hurts. We ended up just licking each other all over sure I was totally fascinated by her crotch she couldn’t drag me away it must of been the same for her with my aul wang it was like she’d never seen one before and here was the most
amazing thing in the world right in her hand.
Listen, I goes to her, there’s things you don’t know about me and I feel bad I feel like telling ye but it’s not very nice so it’s not I mean I grew up in a weird place and I didn’t always do the right thing I hurt a few people you know and doing the meditation has brought it all up there’s stuff inside me that’s going to come out just warning ye if you’re hanging around.
She put her fingers on my lips then and says, shush Will don’t worry I’m not going anywhere and no matter what it is I won’t be afraid. I know we haven’t known each other for very long and it’s probably just the X talking but I’m really feeling something for you and you know that’s not like me at all I’m very cautious about who I open up to but there’s something between us I can feel it I think we’re going to be together for a while and if that’s the case well I’m here for you.
Lana, I says, I’m with you all the way I feel the same I’m falling for you big time so I am and that’s caught me unexpected so it has I’m just a bit worried it’s pretty rough in there, I goes tapping my aul noggin, we’ll worry about that later, she says, I think we’ve both been caught with our pants down on this one so to speak. Let’s just enjoy tonight my love, and she kissed me dead deep and passionate, my head was spinning with pleasure so it was just the sound of her saying the word love shattered something inside my heart and there it was now like a fucking sunrise beaming out of my chest it was so hot and powerful I was sure if she let go of me and opened
her eyes the whole room would be lit up, the whole beach, the whole world and everything would stop just for the glory of us.
We both of us done another half and then another one and then another two green trippers in total each. I’m not saying it was the best idea in the world like but sure when you’re loved up you just want to keep going and for it never to end. The problem when you do a couple of strong ones like that is the night becomes a blur ten hours pass in what feels like about twenty minutes I mean I was out of it most of the time, walking around and dancing and snogging the face off of Lana and talking away to strangers and hugging them and telling them they were brilliant but if you asked me who I was chatting to about the space-time continuum or the early films of Scorsese or whatever sure I couldn’t pick them out for a million buckeroos. I believe the English expression is munted, well and truly munted that was me all right brilliant night it
was of that there’s no doubt bit of a shame it was just a mash-up of wee memorable moments doesn’t bear thinking about what them bangers do to your aul brainpan.
All I ‘member is me and Lana dancing like mad ones under the moon like pagans or something I just had my shorts on and she was in her green bikini the both of us was covered in body paint too a right aul mess we were sure we thought it was brilliant at the time everyone else was the same, thousands of dodgy fluorescent smears all over people’s tits and arses these things never look so great in the harsh light of day but you’re so knackered by then sure you’re past caring.
I think we saw the English lads Dave and Richie and Jez again I was talking to them for ages anyway so I hope it was them for all I know it might of been a couple of other boyos, doesn’t matter I suppose. It got a bit crazy somewhere in the middle of the night there the music building to a crescendo sending people right off their heads everyone’s arms up in the air all jumping up and down guldering at the top of our voices then the DJ brought it back down to chill everyone out then back up again Jesus sure this went on for hours up and down rushing and recovering, if them pills weren’t designed for taking with electronic music sure who knows what they were for.
I don’t know what time it was we hadn’t a watch or nothing but it must of been late and there was an aul purple reddish light on the horizon the sun getting ready to take his shift sure the big moon had done his job sending us all doolally. Anyway a group of about
twenty dancers ran into the water the waves were dead gentle they must of been sweating and needed an aul dip there was bikini bottoms and swimming trunks flying off in all directions once people saw loads of others joined in, fuck me it was some sight I’m just glad I ‘member it.
Me and Lana stripped off and run in too there must of been a thousand naked people in the water all laughing and jumping about and grabbing each other some of them kissing and who knows what else. The shore was littered with abandoned trunks and bikinis of all colours like some container ship carrying beachwear had crashed on the rocks or something.
Everyone goes on about the sixties, I says to Lana, but it can’t of been a patch on this. She was bobbing in the water next to me shivering a wee bit her nipples standing out a mile goose bumps all over her, yeah, she goes, probably something similar I guess only with hairier muffs.
I laughed, aye right enough hairy fanny’s going out of fashion faster than tape Walkmans next thing we’ll all be looking like robots. She smiled and I could see she was a bit tired the aul bangers were wearing off I was on a plateau so I was feeling nice enough but not much happening now.
God I’m cold all of a sudden, Lana goes.
Move around a bit in the water, I says, that’ll warm ye up sure we’ll get out in a minute.
Good luck finding your shorts, she goes, and leans back in the water to lie on her back.
I looked back at the pile of clothes on the shoreline
about nine thousand people tramping over them and thought, fuck it I’ll just walk back to the hut in the buff sure I don’t care.