Acceptance (Club X Book 5) (6 page)

That wasn’t a bad thing, was it?

Liam smiled up at me, likely thankful that I’d helped him out of wearing shit, and I lifted him off the changing table to give him a kiss. “Feel better, little man? What do you say we go back downstairs and see the ladies in our life?”

Before we could get out of the room, though, Abbi appeared in the doorway with a look on her face that told me she wanted to talk. All I could hope was she didn’t ask more questions that would force me to lie again.

“Do you want me to take him?” she asked sweetly, her arms out to take hold of Liam.

But I didn’t want to give him up just yet. I didn’t get too many chances to hang out with my son, and I liked to take advantage of the time I got.

“No, I have him. Is it time for him to eat?”

“In a little bit.” She took his hand and pretended to nibble on his fingertips. “Who gets pears today? Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Does my little man love his pears?”

Liam smiled at her playing with his hand, and Abbi smiled back at him like he was the light of her life. I loved watching her with the kids like this. That’s why I wanted to protect this part of my life from anything that could hurt the ones I loved.

Abbi looked up at me and said, “He looks more like you every day. Compared to when Annalea was a baby, he’s like the polar opposite.”

“It’s the black hair. He got the March genes. She got yours,” I said as I guided her toward the hallway. “Annalea’s alone, isn’t she? We should go downstairs.”

She touched my arm to stop me, and I turned around to see that look again. “She’s okay, Kane. Is something wrong? You’re acting weird.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” I bent down to kiss her softly on the lips. “I had a great time last night, by the way.”

“I did too,” she said as her cheeks blushed a gentle pink. “I don’t know if we should be talking about this in front of the baby.”

I looked at Liam, who sat in my arms blissfully unaware that his parents were talking about the great sex they had the night before. “I think we’re safe, angel. Our little man here understands nothing yet.”

Abbi touched my arm again, and I turned to see her staring up at me like I’d just said the most wonderful thing she’d ever heard. “It’s been a long time since you called me that.”

I knew exactly what she meant. Between work, a new baby, and getting used to having two kids, it had been a very long time since I’d been much of anything but someone’s boss or someone’s father. I wanted to change that, though.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve been too busy at work and with everything happening after Liam was born, but I’m going to make sure I’m more than just the guy who sleeps here from now on. I promise, Abbi.”

She looked at me with wide eyes full of concern. “Okay. Is there something I should know, Kane? You’re sort of making me wonder what’s going on with you.”

I really didn’t want to have this conversation. “I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong, Abbi.”

Liam thankfully got antsy in my arms and cried out, breaking the tension and giving me an excuse to walk away, even though I knew Abbi had more to say. The problem was she wasn’t going to just let this go.

As much as I wanted to be wrong, by the time I reached the kitchen and put Liam into his high chair, Abbi was right beside me with that same questioning look in her eyes. As I turned to get the baby’s lunch, she said, “I think maybe we should talk, Kane. Okay?”

Pretending to be busy picking just the right glass jar of pureed green vegetables, I said nothing as I grabbed peas and pears and the feeding spoon. I pulled a chair from the table and sat down in front of Liam, who was completely oblivious to the tension growing between his mother and father at that moment.

“Ready for some delicious peas, little man?” I asked with as much enthusiasm as I could muster for the gooey green goop I’d scooped out of the jar.

“Kane, are you ignoring me or didn’t you hear me when I said I wanted to talk?”

Liam gobbled up the spoonful of peas and then proceeded to dribble half of it down his chin and onto the blue and green bib with caterpillars Abbi had put on him. Thoroughly pleased with himself, he banged his hands on the highchair tray and kicked his legs out as he squealed for more food.

“You must really love this,” I said as I directed another spoonful of peas at his mouth.

He repeated his drooling act, this time keeping even less in his face than before. I wiped his mouth, feeling Abbi’s stare practically boring a hole through the side of my head.

“I’m not ignoring you. I just figured it was time for Liam to eat. If you want to talk, that’s fine. We can talk, Abbi.”

My words might have seemed a bit more truthful if I’d bothered to look at her when I said them, but I was pretty sure she’d see right through my lies if she got a look at my eyes.

“Fine, then let’s talk. Maybe you can even face me too.”

There was no missing her meaning there. I took a deep breath and turned to look at her, but I didn’t see the angry glare I thought I would. Instead, I saw a look of pure fear in her eyes, the kind someone got when they were afraid they were about to lose everything that meant the world to them.

Christ, I didn’t want it to be like this. I wasn’t lying just to get my jollies. I never lied to Abbi, except about things that could hurt her. But I hated seeing how frightened she was by how I was acting.

“Kane, I don’t know what’s going on, but my gut says something is. What’s wrong? Are you unhappy with me? With our life? It seems like every time I look into your eyes I see something that says you don’t want to be here anymore.”

Hearing those words made me feel like someone was punching me in the heart. I put the spoon in the jar of baby food and took her hands in mine, wishing whatever I said next would erase the fear and sadness in her face.

“I love you, Abbi. You and the kids are my life. I wouldn’t trade this for anything. I hate that you even thought I wasn’t unbelievably happy with what we have here.”

“Then why do you seem so preoccupied in the past few weeks? I was so sure you found someone else that I asked Olivia about it. She thinks I’m crazy. Maybe I am, but I’ve never seen you like this before. So I’m asking you now. Is there someone else?”

My chest hurt at the thought of any other woman other than Abbi for me. “No. I don’t want anyone else. Not from the moment I fell in love with you, which was about ten seconds after meeting you. You know that.”

Liam squealed for more peas, so Abbi fed him another spoonful and then crouched down in front of me. Looking up into my eyes, she said, “Even now as you’re telling me there’s no one else, you have that look in your eyes. I’ve never seen you look like this, Kane. It’s like a look of need, and it scares the hell out of me because I’m worried one of these days you’re going to come home and tell me you’re leaving.”

I wanted to tell her I knew what that look was from. I’d seen that very look in my eyes every time I looked in a mirror growing up. It came from knowing a part of my life was absent. Then it was because of my father, and now it was the possibility that I had another brother out there, another person like me who had been ignored all his life and never seen for who he truly was.

But until I knew he wasn’t like the person I’d been back then, I wouldn’t risk bringing him into my life in any way that involved Abbi and the kids.

Cradling her face, I tried to ease her mind and show her the look in my eyes was nothing. “I’m crazy in love with you, and every day I love you more, angel. I don’t want anyone else. There’s only you for me. You’re my life. Without you and the kids, I’d have no reason to live. It’s that simple. Whatever you’re seeing in my eyes, believe me, it has nothing to do with how much I love you and our kids. I’m sorry you thought I was unhappy. I’m not.”

She let out a heavy sigh as tears filled her eyes. “I was so worried you’d gotten tired of this life and wanted something else, Kane. I told you that last night, and I meant it. I just want you to know if this isn’t what you want to do with your life, if you don’t want to run the restaurant or live in this house anymore, I’ll be right by your side with what you want to do. I’m not afraid of change as long as we’re together. Just keep that in mind.”

I leaned forward and kissed her gently, loving the feel of her lips on mine. “My work and where we live are things I can live without. You and the kids I can’t, though. You’re the most important parts of my life. You’re my family.”

“We’ll always be there for you, Kane. I love you and the kids love their father. Never forget that.”

Liam let out another cry to let us know he wanted more of his lunch, and while Abbi finished feeding him, I watched the woman I adored tend to him and hoped someday soon I’d be able to tell her what that look in my eyes was about.

I may not have realized it until my own father died, but family was more important than anything else in the world.

Stefan

T
he parking lot outside The
CocoNut Restaurant and Bar began to empty out as the minutes ticked toward midnight. Kane and I had sat there in his Mustang for nearly two hours trying to get a look at Sebastian Thorne. The PI my brother paid to do just this kind of thing had told him he’d be off work at ten, yet there we sat in his incredibly uncomfortable car staring at the doors of the building hoping to see him.

“Tell me again why John couldn’t just take a friggin picture of the guy and we could see what he looks like that way? I swear you and that guy are stuck in the seventies,” I mumbled as I watched out the passenger side window for any sign of the person who might be our brother.

“You didn’t have to come, Stefan. I never asked you to, in fact. All I said was I was coming here tonight. You invited yourself.”

I turned to look at Kane and gave him a well-deserved sneer. “Whatever. That doesn’t answer the question of why John couldn’t do this. It is his job, you know. This is just the kind of thing he’s supposed to do. Instead, he’s comfy at his house while my ass feels like it’s about to fall asleep from sitting in this damn relic of yours. Why didn’t you use the SUV you guys own?”

“Because it has the seats for the kids and if Abbi needs to take them anywhere she needs that car.” Reaching for the radio, he turned up a Led Zeppelin song and said, “Now if you’re done questioning me on things that have nothing to do with what we’re doing here.”

I threw him another sneer and turned my head back toward the window to continue the Sebastian watch. I knew why Kane had taken the Mustang instead of the SUV. He still hadn’t told Abbi one damn thing about this whole potential brand new brother business. Well, that and he loved this car like it was one of his kids. Why I had no idea. He made more than enough money to afford a brand new car instead of something that was over forty years old. To hear him talk, it was better than anything Cash or I owned, but at the moment, my sore ass made me disagree.

A few more minutes of sitting like this and I might have to bail on this whole thing.

Five minutes later, I truly wished I hadn’t relied on him for a ride. It was bad enough to be uncomfortable, but having to listen to seventies classic rock and not say a word threatened to make me go crazy.

Knowing I was breaking one of the cardinal rules of being in his car, I reached over and turned the music down. Without a word, Kane narrowed his eyes to angry slits. “Unless you’re going to tell me you see him, there was no reason to turn that off.”

I tilted my head to the left and right to crack my neck. “No, I don’t see him, and I’m starting to go stir crazy sitting here in silence. Can’t we at least have a conversation if we’re going to be stuck doing this?”

Kane’s eyes scanned the restaurant for a moment before he looked over at me. “What do you want to talk about, Stefan?”

Boredom had clearly settled into his brain too if he was willing to chat, but I didn’t care. Anything was better than what I’d been suffering through for the past two hours.

“Well, for one thing, I’m wondering why you haven’t told Abbi what’s going on with this Sebastian guy. What’s with all the cloak and dagger shit?”

The angry slits came back in response to my question, and then he gruffly answered, “What I tell my wife or don’t tell my wife is none of your business.”

“Great. Thanks for that scintillating conversation. It was thrilling.”

I returned to staring out the window to spy some guy who supposedly looked the spitting image of the person I sat next to. All I could hope for was he had a better disposition. I didn’t need another cranky brother. I had my fill of them already.

Another few minutes passed with no sight of the guy, so I looked over at Kane to see if he was as frustrated as I was. I saw nothing in his face to tell me he felt anything at all. Talk about a poker face.

“Maybe we should accept the fact that either he got past us somehow or John got his quitting time wrong. Not that this hasn’t been great fun and all, but I think we’re wasting our time.”

Kane said nothing and remained stone-faced as he stared at the back door of the building. Unless I planned to have Shay drive out to get me, I was trapped there.

Swell.

Still focused on the restaurant, Kane finally said, “I haven’t told Abbi for the same reason Cash doesn’t want anything to do with this.”

“Because you’re worried this guy contacted you because he’s a money grubber?”

He shook his head, and for one of the few times since we parked the car looked at me. “No, because I want to protect her and the kids. If Sebastian turns out to be some piece of shit who’s going to bring nothing but bad into our lives, I don’t want the people I love the most to have to deal with that. I’ll deal with it on my own and they’ll never have to know.”

“I don’t get you, Kane. You and Abbi have this love that transcends everything kind of relationship, yet you keep shit from her. Everyone looks and Shay and me like we’re the lamest couple ever, yet I don’t keep anything from her. I told her about this possible new brother the day you told me.”

I knew I was treading on dangerous ground questioning his relationship with Abbi. Of all the things in his life, what he had with her was the most important of them all. I wasn’t just being a bust ass when I described their love as the kind that transcends all. That was how he saw them. Everyone else was common and average compared to how he felt for her.