Accidentally Wolf (39 page)

“
He doesn
’
t make me jealous anymore and I feel a bond with him
.
”
He
sh
ook
his head
and I knew part of it was confusion
.
“
I
’
m not sure I understand it but now that you
’
ve sirened him I think maybe I realize he
’
s one of us and that
’
s not going to change. So why fight it? We talked tonight, getting to know each other
,
and I found myself glad that he works days and will be here for you a
t
night when I
’
m at the club. The jealousy is gone. It
’
s weird and frightens me a little
,
but I see him as an asset to you and that
’
s all that matters.
”

“
Yeah, that scares me a little bit
,
too,
”
I admitted. What the fuck? I needed a rule book of what to expect from Alena. I just hoped she had the answers I so desperately needed. But I did need Tristan on my side
,
so I decided that his apology was acceptable and let go of what happened.
“
I forgive you, Tristan, but loyalty is important to me. I need to know we have each other
’
s backs or this will never work between us.
”

He stood slowly, human speed
slowly
,
so
as to not startle me and took my face in his hands.
“
I
’
d die for you, Sera. I know that. I want what
’
s best for you and will give you whatever you need. I can
’
t promise I won
’
t screw up or be a man who sticks his foot in his mouth
,
but I am yours in every meaning of the word.
”

I didn
’
t know what to say to that so instead I pulled his head down for a quick kiss before turning on my heel and walking out the door. I needed some space and room to breathe without someone or something needing me right that moment. I think that was fair given everything going on. If it wasn
’
t… Too damn bad. It was what I needed.

Chapter 14

After getting in my car and just driving, losing myself in the simplicity of traffic and streetlights, I ended up at Wrigley Field. I shouldn
’
t have been surprised, it was
my place
. The one place that always filled me with awe and that I found beaut
y in
its old design,
from
the crisp field, to the history of it. Plus, it was the only memory I had of my parents before they dumped me on the steps of
the
Department of Child and Family Services at age five.

But that was
not
something I was thinking about or dealing with tonight.

I flashed my badge at the security guard, ignoring when he raised an eyebrow in question but let me in. Some could probably see it as an abuse of power, but I wasn
’
t hurting anyone or asking to cut to the front of the line. I just needed somewhere that gave me solace. And since all this went down because I
’
d gotten hurt in the line of duty, I thought that gave me a free pass right then.

It wasn
’
t cold, but there was a chilly breeze coming off the lake front. I was glad I had changed in to jeans and thought to wear my fleece vest. I worked my way through the stadium and ended up taking a seat right behind the Cubs dugout. I stared out over the field and just let everything process in my mind.

I glanced at my watch, seeing it was four in the morning, when I felt a familiar presence and realized I
’
d been sitting there for over three hours. “How did you find me?”

“Harris called me to say they got a face from the video cameras you found, and, when he called you to tell you that, you didn
’
t answer. He was worried because that
’
s not like you. So I tracked the GPS on your phone.” He leaned forward and looked at me questioningly.

“I didn
’
t get a call.” I quickly pulled it out of my pocket and swore under my breath. “I turned off the ringer when I was at the crime scene and didn
’
t turn it back on. It won
’
t happen again, Chief.”

“Thomas, I
’
m not here because I
’
m mad,” Monroe said gently as he took the seat next to me. “Harris was worried because you mentioned having a rough night and I talked to Vlad.” He held up a hand when I started growling at the man calling my boss to gossip. “He
’
s worried, too, okay? He wasn
’
t calling Chief Monroe but Chad Monroe, who is one of three or four people who know the full story and what
’
s been going on with you. You are one of my people though, and it
’
s my job to help you when I can.”

“Fine,” I sighed, leaning my head back on my shoulders. “I
’
ve never had people get involved in my private shit before. Whether it
’
s for the right reasons or not, it
’
s not something I
’
m used to and I
’
m not sure I like it.”

“It
’
s what people do when they care about you, Sera.”

“Maybe I
’
ve never had any of those either,” I whispered. Actually, I knew it was the truth. “You saw the concern from my fellow collogues about what happened to me. No one came to visit me in the hospital. I don
’
t really have any friends, and I think maybe that
’
s what makes this so much harder for me.”

“You being a scary powerful wolf with talents I
’
ve never seen before?” he asked with a snicker. “I think it would be hard no matter how many friends you have.”

“Yeah, but it
’
s always about who to trust. Vlad and Tristan tell me not to tell anyone. Then they let it slip. You were pissed I told Vlad but then you pulled him in when the shit went down at the office. Alena says I should be able to trust other wolves, but, besides Riley, they so aren
’
t on my side.”

“Alena Dorcus? You met her tonight then. Fill me in and maybe I can help.”

“But can I trust you, Chad?” I whispered as I looked at him, intentionally using his first name as my eyes filled with tears. “Everyone wants something from me, so I have to ask what it is you want?”

“You know that feeling you had when the locals were giving your team shit?” he asked as he brushed the hair that had fallen out of my hair tie behind my ear. I nodded. “I feel the same for all of you. You guys are my people, and, even if it
’
s not work related, I want to help and protect you. Am I attracted to you? Yeah, Sera, and not just because you
’
re beautiful, but the woman Brian Havers drunkenly blabbered about intrigued me. You have no idea how you effect the people around you.”

“So you want me,” I mumbled, nodding my understanding and pulling away from him. That
’
s why he was being nice. He had an endgame.

“Just because I
’
m attracted to you doesn
’
t mean that I
’
m trying to be with you, Sera.” He moved his fingers under my chin and turned my head back to look at him. “I
’
m over seven hundred years old. I
’
ve seen a lot in my day, but no one ever forgets what it was like when they were thrown in to this world. You
’
ve helped our office, you
’
re in this position because you got hurt on the job, and your team adores you. All I want from you is to keep doing what you
’
ve been doing, a great job, and maybe a friendship.”

“Really?” I
’
m sure shock was written all over my face.

“Yeah, Sera.” He chuckled. “I saw you checking me out when we met, but just because you think I
’
m attractive doesn
’
t mean we
’
re just going to jump each other
’
s bones.”

“You
’
d be surprised,” I grumbled. He gave me a funny look, so I didn
’
t wait for him to ask what I meant, instead filling him in on what happened tonight. It took a while but at the end of it he was sitting there with his mouth hanging open. I gestured to the expression on his face. “Yeah, that
’
s about my reaction to the whole thing.”

“I didn
’
t even know sirens were real,” he said slowly almost with a tone of awe when he seemed to snap out of his stupor.

“Welcome to my night.” I snorted bitterly. “I just thought my wolf had an inner evil bitch or something. But at least this explains why I
’
m powerful enough to control my wolf much easier than other shifters.”

“Yeah, it makes having gotten worked up about the live entertainment at Vlad
’
s party seem trivial now, doesn
’
t it?” he joked, shaking his head.

“No, not really,” I answered, rubbing my hands over my face in frustration, probably screwing up my make-up. “There are certain lines I thought I
’
d never cross and that
’
s what
’
s upsetting me so badly. I swore to never keep anything from the FBI, but, now that I know gold can harm us, I am. I never, ever thought I
’
d hit my boss, but I did. Watching live sex or basically being with two men at once was something I never thought I would do. It
’
s like who am I now? This isn
’
t me!” I took a deep breath and exhaled in an attempt to regain my composure.

“Sera, the fact that you
’
re questioning all of this shows that it
is
still you.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I leaned in to him. “If you weren
’
t still you, all of this wouldn
’
t be bothering you. I get that you were FBI first and then became a paranormal. A few in our office were cops before they became shifters, like Harris. Or they
’
ve always been one, like Davis, so their loyalty is to their own first then the Federal Government. It
’
s understandable, since you were the other way around, that you are affected by it.”

“Yeah, that makes sense, but it doesn
’
t dull the fear that one day I
’
m going to wake up and the Seraphine Thomas I knew is going to be gone.”

“I seriously doubt that.” He chuckled good-naturedly. “Yeah, I
’
m a lot different than the human I was when I was turned hundreds of years ago, but I
’
m still me. Whether you were turned in to a werewolf and siren or not, we all change. Things that were important to us when we were younger don
’
t matter so much anymore after life throws us for a couple of loops.”

I thought about that a moment. It was true. “The changes would just be slower then.”

“So when they hit you all at once, you do what you did tonight. You take a step back and let yourself process it all before you get up the next day and live your life.”

“Thanks, Chief.” I shifted my body and kissed him on the cheek. “Let
’
s go catch a murderer.”

“Good deal.” He chuckled as he stood. “Maybe by now they
’
ve got a name to go with the face Jennings pulled off the surveillance.”

“That would be nice since nothing seems to be falling on my lap lately.” We walked out of Wrigley Field side by side, and I felt much better than when I walked in, knowing I had a true friend in the form of a vampire who was my boss. Something else I never thought would happen, but I was glad it did.

****

“He
’
s not a wolf,” Jennings informed me from behind his computer as I walked in to the techie room at our office. “We can
’
t get a positive ID given he
’
s in his half animal half human form, but he ain
’
t a wolf.”