Acting Up (28 page)

“Of course.” Addison wiggled the baby's toes, earning a happy giggle.

An older couple sat on the couch, and Julia performed introductions again. “My stepmother, Grace, and her husband, John Graham. Seth's father.”

His what?
“You're dating your stepmother's stepson?” Addison asked in astonishment.

“You're not the only one with an interesting family,” Julia said, in a voice seeped with sarcasm.

Finally, Addison had no choice but to greet Carrie. The woman didn't shake hands but managed a civil hello. Somehow, she managed to shift her body so she was practically plastered to Ethan's side. A neat trick indeed, only he ruined the effort by standing up.

“Did you get your aunt home all right?” Ethan asked.

“We did,” Addison said. “She was a bit uncomfortable after the trip, but she seems to be getting her strength back now.”

Ethan opened his mouth to say something else then stopped, giving her a puzzled once-over. “You look different.” His studied her some more then snapped his fingers. “You did something to your hair.”

Flustered, Addison fingered the new cut. “I had it done.”

Julia turned in surprise. “I can't believe I didn't notice. You went to Brenda Sue downtown?”

Addison nodded.

“She's a genius. I wouldn't let anyone else touch my hair.” Julia examined the new do. “It's lovely. Isn't she lovely, Ethan?”

“Addison always looks lovely,” he said, giving Julia a pointed, cut-it-out look.

Thankfully, Grace smoothed over the awkward pause by excusing herself to check on dinner. Carrie continued perfecting her portrayal of a human leech so Addison retreated to the couch where Seth sat with his father. John Graham had suffered a stroke last year so his words were halting, but nothing could dim the intelligence and warmth in his eyes.

Five minutes later, Grace announced dinner was ready to be served. Addison couldn't remember when she'd had more fun at a dinner party. Grace's charm enveloped the table. Julia kept everyone regaled with stories of the latest bridezillas she'd encountered at Marry Me. Sarah, who was the founder and owner of the business, obviously played the
Grace
role at work, providing a steady, calming influence. The two seemed to complement each other well.

Sarah was distracted most of the meal, as she was feeding the baby what looked like pureed orange mud. Addison's gaze drifted down the table again and again. By now, little Mary had a good coating of food all over her head. When Sarah didn't move quickly enough with the spoon, the little tyke would pound her high chair and screech.

As the dishes were being cleared away from the table, Sarah slipped away to mop up her daughter. Grace, Julia, and Seth disappeared into the kitchen to clean up. The rest of the party moved to the living room. John Graham eased into his chair while Carrie was engaged in a conversation with Sarah's husband and Ethan.

At Addison's entry, Ethan sent her a silent plea, which she ignored with a playful smile. A couple minutes later, Seth emerged from the kitchen carrying a large silver coffee tray. Addison accepted the dark, rich brew and doctored hers with cream and sugar.

Sarah came back in with a de-carroted baby as Addison was taking her first sip. The little girl had also undergone a wardrobe change and now sported a footed Onesie with pink flowers on it.

Sarah drifted over to the fireplace. “How are things going with the play?”

“Not too bad,” Addison said, her gaze drifting toward the baby.

“Would you like to hold her?” Sarah asked.

An inward scream of panic pinged through Addison's being. “Oh, I couldn't—”

“Don't worry. Mary is a great baby. Loves everyone.”

Quick as lightning, Sarah shifted the baby over, leaving Addison holding a twenty-pound, toothless, powdery-scented person. She held the baby out a few feet from her body, and the girl's little feet dangled in the air.

Sarah chuckled, repositioning Addison's arms so the baby straddled her hip. “She likes to be held like this.”

“Hey, Sarah, come here,” Julia called out.

“Be right back,” Sarah said, with a wink.

“Wait! You can't leave—”

Except she did leave Addison literally holding the bag. Or baby, as it were. She stared down at the tiny human. Mary was sturdier than she appeared. Solid, but soft.

“Your mother has left you with a total stranger,” Addison informed the baby. “How do you like that?”

Mary grinned, showing a mouth full of pink gums and saliva.

“So, what do we do now?”

The tyke had no answer. Simply stared right back, and Addison had the whimsical notion the baby could see right through to her soul.

After a moment Mary put her head down on Addison's shoulder and let out a tiny baby sigh. Addison drew in a shocked breath as the girl's scent enveloped her. Part powder, part soap, part sunshine.

This must be what heaven smells like.

A long buried memory stirred, and a dark cloud of grief welled up, threatening to choke her.

Arms shaking, eyes burning, Addison shoved the baby at Grace. “Take her, please.”

Thankfully, Addison managed to escape onto the back porch before she embarrassed herself. Focusing on the moon overhead, she pulled in several gulps of air, willing herself to calm down. To bury the memory of the new life she'd never planned on or wanted.

Until it was gone.

****

For Ethan, the night had been sheer torture. The torture of being close to Addison but not able to talk to her. She'd kept her distance. Or perhaps kept her distance from Carrie, who'd clung to him all night like a boa constrictor wrapping around a mouse.

If the bachelor auction hadn't cemented the notion, there could no longer be any doubt Carrie wanted to change her
friend
status.

Even so, Ethan couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the golden-haired goddess across the room. Not the famous celebrity Addison, but the real woman, who seemed softer and more approachable now. A softness that had nothing to do with a trip to a hair salon. Since his senses were so in tune with her movements, Ethan noticed when Sarah deposited the baby into Addison's arms. Panic held her rigid. Mary put her head on Addison's shoulder, and terror slowly turned to wonder.

Then wonder became anguish. There was no other way to describe the sudden expression on her face. She shoved the baby at Grace and escaped.

Ethan's feet moved before his brain even sent a signal.

He followed her outside, spotting her clinging to the railing on the back porch. “Addison?”

Her shoulders tensed, and she swiped a hand across her face. “I was getting some air.”

Air? No way did Ethan believe such a mundane excuse. He settled his hands on her shoulders and turned her around.

“I saw you run out.” His heart stopped at the sight of her tears. With gentle fingers, he wiped them away. “You looked like you'd seen a ghost. What's wrong?”

“Oh, you know, more of my past coming back to haunt me.”

“Something about your dad?”

“No. It was the baby.”

“Why would Mary freak you out?”

“She shouldn't. I didn't think I cared anymore. Then I was holding her, and suddenly I couldn't breathe. All I felt was a horrible, overwhelming sadness. Over something I never even wanted.”

“You've lost me,” he said, massaging her shoulders.

A long pause ensued, and then she sighed. “I was pregnant five years ago.”

The news came as a shock. “I never knew.”

“Not many people did.”

“You don't have children, do you?” Ethan asked, unable to stop the train of suspicious thoughts.

Sparks seemed to vibrate off of Addison's skin as she glared at him. “What? Do you think I have a secret kid stashed away somewhere? Thanks a lot,” she said, pushing against his chest.

“It's not unheard of,” he said, slipping an arm around her waist. “Especially if you had an image to maintain on the show.”

“Funny, that's exactly what Merrick said. Right before he told me to get rid of it.”

Ethan went still. “Get rid of it as in—”

“An abortion, yes.”

Some people should be drowned at birth.
“If your husband were here right now, I'd be tempted to take him apart,” he said. “I can't believe you would agree.”

“Thank you for that, at least. I refused, but as it turned out, neither of us had to worry about my career. I had a miscarriage three weeks later.”

Which explained the haunted expression. What a secret to carry around. A tragedy she couldn't even talk about.

“I'm sorry. Jenny and I tried for years to have a baby. We went through two miscarriages before the twins were finally born. I'm not sure anyone realized how devastating it was. Especially for her. Jenny always wanted a big family.”

Ethan shuddered to remember those awful days after the babies were gone. Jenny had been inconsolable for weeks, to the point where she hadn't even wanted him to touch her. A part of her had grieved those missing children until the day she'd died.

“I didn't,” Addison said. “I was too focused on my career. I never melted at the sight of a baby. To me they were more like crying, burping, smelly aliens. Then that stick turned blue. I'm sure Merrick was right. The timing was wrong. It would have been complicated, and maybe even interfered with the show, but suddenly I didn't care.”

“That little stick changes your life, doesn't it?” Ethan asked, thinking of the moment when his sons were born. The overwhelming love, mixed with outright terror knowing
he
was responsible for two helpless human beings. After all the disappointments and the losses, to finally hold his precious boys had been nothing short of miraculous.

“It certainly changed mine,” Addison said. “Changed my marriage, too. Looking back, I think that might have been the beginning of the end. Something died between Merrick and me, and we never recovered.”

“No wonder. To suggest something so—” He took a deep breath. “I can't imagine a world without my boys.”

“That's what makes you a good man.”

“It's what makes me a father.”

A dry chuckle escaped. “Ironically, Merrick is going to be a father again, after all. America's sweetheart is pregnant.”

“What?”

“Angela told me on the set. Gleefully informed me she was two months pregnant and that Merrick was thrilled. He'd already gone out and started buying baby things.”

A key slid into the slot, unlocking another secret in Addison's life. “Let me guess, that's when you punched her.”

“Bingo,” Addison said. “All I could hear in my head was Merrick telling me to take care of the situation with
my
baby when he was doing cartwheels over Angela's baby. Before I knew it, my arm was swinging.”

“I hope it hurt.”

“Sure did. Felt like I'd slammed my hand in a car door.”

He chuckled. “No, Angela.”

A wicked gleam entered Addison's eyes. “She screamed. There was blood.” Her smile fell. “It was a great until Merrick called me into his office.”

“I'm sure it doesn't make the humiliation you suffered go away, but honestly, I think you're better off without him,” Ethan said. “You deserve so much more.”

“Do I? What if Merrick was right?” Addison asked. “Maybe he had an instinct about me. I'm probably the last person on earth who should be raising a child.”

“Why?”

“Too many reasons to count. I'm an emotional mess, for one. I don't have a good role model to follow in the parenting arena, and I've never been around children. I'm just not good with anyone under the legal voting age.”

Where had Addison gotten the idea she couldn't relate to children? Another mind game by her jerk of a husband?

“Tell that to my sons or the kids in the play,” Ethan said, folding his arms over his chest. “What about Aaron? He'd throw himself under a bus for you.”

A smile flickered across her face for a moment, but it disappeared almost as soon as it appeared. “So there's one other option, which is that Merrick simply didn't want a baby with
me
. I think I'd rather believe there was some maternal gene missing than accept I was foolish enough to believe he ever loved me at all.”

“I thought we'd established your ex-husband is a prize pig.”

“We did?”

He brushed his fingers across her cheek. “I did anyway.”

Addison slipped her arms around his waist. She probably meant the gesture as a hug, but for him, the physical contact set off a chain reaction. Ethan stiffened, knowing he shouldn't tempt fate or his own suppressed urges.

Oh, who am I kidding?

He didn't have the strength to push her away.

“You want to know what I thought when I saw you holding Mary?” he asked, pulling her closer, giving in to the magnetic pull.

“I think it would be a bad idea if you told me,” Addison whispered back.

“I thought you were adorable,” Ethan said, ignoring the warning. “Flustered and scared and beautiful.”