Aflame (Fall Away #4) (14 page)

He stopped painting and looked at me pointedly. “What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” I retorted.

He approached me, cocking his head like he knew I was lying. Like he knew I still wasn’t happy.

I lifted my shoulders to my ears, denying it. “I said there’s no problem!” I laughed and then looked down. “And you’re dripping all over my feet!”

I curled in my toes as paint from his brush fell onto my skin.

“Oh, shit,” he said in surprise and lifted the brush up, smacking me in the face.

I growled, squeezing my eyes shut.

“Oh, shit!” Jared blurted out again, laughing. “I’m sorry. It honestly was an accident.”

“Yeah.” I opened my eyes again, squinting through the paint covering my lashes on my left eye. “Accidents happen.”

And then I shot out, running my paintbrush down his face and chest, sending him rearing backward.

“No!” he shouted, holding out his hands and still laughing. “Stop!”

I lunged for him again, and he darted out his paint brush, wetting my arm.

I scowled. “Ugh!” I barked. “You’re going to pay for that!”

And I raced after him as he dashed into the foyer. Reaching out my arm, I caught him on the back, swiping my brush up and making the tree tattooed there look a little snow covered.

He swung around and grabbed my wrist, pulling my back into his chest.

I squirmed, sending his brush falling to the area rug.

“Let go!” he ordered, tickling my sides. “Drop it now!”

“No!” I laughed, keeping my elbows locked at my sides to shield myself from his attack.

He grabbed my wrist, pulled it up, exposing my underarm, and tickled. I hunched over, crying out in a mix of terror and delight as my own paintbrush fell to the floor.

“Jared! Stop!” I shouted, my stomach tight with laughing so hard.

He let go, wrapping both of his arms around my waist, and we just stood there, breathing hard as we tried to calm down.

It felt so good. Having fun with him again.

I laid my arms on his, my breath catching in my throat but my heart still racing as I soaked in his heat at my back. My tank top was the only fabric separating his skin from mine, and without thinking, I turned my head, nuzzling into him.

His hot breath fell on my ear, and I leaned into it, feeling the clenching of the muscles in my womb and wanting his touch.

It had been so long since I’d been touched like this. The feel of Jared’s lips against my hair was more intimate than the most sexual act anyone else could do to me.

I tipped my chin up, teasing him with my lips as they grazed his. A thrill shot through me, sending flutters through my stomach as I felt him grow hard against my ass.

I inhaled his scent. “Jared,” I barely whispered. I darted out my tongue and flicked it along his top lip.

He jerked, sucking in a breath, and I felt a shot of pride at still being able to leave him speechless.

Craning one hand around my face to hold my mouth close to his, he teased, “I thought we were going to be friends.” And then I gasped as he brought his other hand over my shoulder and slid it down the top of my shirt, claiming my breast in his palm.

I closed my eyes on a moan. “Good friends,” I clarified. “Really good friends.” And I felt his lips curl into a smile against mine.

“Tate!”

A knock sounded on the door, and I jumped, blinking.

What?

No.

“Tate, you up?” Fallon said, and I looked at Jared, feeling my body suddenly go cold.
Damn it.

The ache where I needed him made me groan, and I watched him blink long and hard, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Fuck,” he seethed, letting me go.

I could still feel him through his pants, standing strong and hard, and it was for me.
Goddamn it, Fallon!

She opened the door, and we both straightened, knowing how guilty we looked. I was sure I had a blush all over my body. I could feel the heat of my skin.

“Oh.” She stopped short, her forehead scrunching up. “Hey.”

I shifted my eyes, smoothing down my clothes. “We were painting.”

Jared snorted behind me, but I ignored him.

Fallon nodded. “In your jammies,” she said more to herself than to us. “Perfectly normal.”

I arched a brow at her as she stood there in her workout shorts and tank. We ran on Sundays, and I was late.

“Jared?” I cleared my throat, unable to hide the amusement from my face as I turned around. “Go home.”

He shot me his little know-it-all smirk, and I jerked when he brushed his palm over my ass and then walked past me, out the front door. Leaning down, he gave Fallon a peck on the forehead. “Your timing sucks,” he grumbled and walked past her.

Tate

My friends each brought something different into my life.

Juliet believed that love conquered all and everyone deserved a white-picket-fence life. Fallon believed that choices came with confusion, and if we truly knew what we wanted, then there was no choice. Jax believed opportunities shouldn’t be wasted, and the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

And Madoc was like me. He was the one I listened to when I wanted to hear my own opinion in a deeper voice.

And the best part about him was that I was a separate entity from Jared to him. He cared about my well-being, even if it didn’t serve the interest of his friend.

Sorry about your party,
I texted him after I got back from my run with Fallon. I’d produced enough drama over the past two years, and I always felt like I wasn’t carrying my weight as a friend. Madoc never cared, though.

Madoc:
Nothing to be sorry for. You okay?

I grabbed an apple and jogged up the stairs, desperate for a shower, as my clothes were sticking to my skin.

Yes,
I typed.
I’ll be okay. Don’t worry.

Madoc:
You need to talk to Ben.

I halted, dropping my head back and sighing.
Jesus.
It was like he could read my mind.

I tapped my thumbs on the keys, sending my reply.
I don’t even know what’s happening yet, okay?

Madoc shot back.
Yes, you do.

I rolled my eyes, kicking off my shoes and hitting the power on my iPod dock, hearing “The Boys of Summer” by the Ataris spring forth.

My phone beeped again.
Okay, screw Jared. Answer me this . . . do you think about Ben?

I plopped my phone down on the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t ignoring his question. He just didn’t need to hear the answer.

Sure, I thought about Ben. I didn’t think about him like I thought about Jared, though, and that’s what had me a little ashamed.

Ben and I hadn’t committed to seeing only each other, and we hadn’t gotten intimate yet. But I knew he wanted that. Hell, he’d wanted it in high school.

But we were dating, and if Fallon hadn’t walked in this morning, I would’ve gone over the edge with Jared, despite any obligation I might have to Ben.

My phone beeped with another text, and I looked down, almost kicking myself that I’d texted Madoc at all this morning.

Do you want him, need him, and live for him?
Madoc asked.

I shook my head, smiling at my friend’s insight.
Yeah, okay
. So whether or not Jared was a factor, I still wasn’t getting carried away and feeling all lovey-dovey about Ben. Point taken.

Does he make you horny?
Madoc continued, and I snatched up my phone again.

“Seriously?” I blurted out at his crass vocabulary.

Do you want to crawl all over him in the morning?
he went on, and I let out a loud sigh.

Yeah. Shut up now.

I jutted out my thumbs, typing to tell him just that, when another text rolled in before I finished.

What the hell? Did he take lessons in speed texting?

Does he give you a lady boner?
he teased.
Make your loins quiver and throb? Do you masturbate to him?

“Madoc!” I growled at my phone, squeezing it tight. “What the . . . ?”

Why so quiet?
My phone beeped again.
Answer my questions, Tate!

Motherf . . .
I clenched my teeth. “I’d talk if you’d just shut up, jackass,” I fumed.

He texted again, and I just slumped my shoulders, walking back into the bedroom, defeated.

Okay, real quick: Ben or Jared?
he inquired.

Huh?

Ben or Jared?
he urged again.
Don’t think. Just say the first name that pops into your head.

My mouth fell open, exhaling a frustrated sigh. “Wha . . .”

Ben or Jared!!!
he text-screamed.

My thumbs shook as I tried to type, but my brain felt like little electric wires were zapping every hair follicle on my scalp.

I squeezed the phone, trying to find the letters.

Now!
he beeped.

“Ugh!” I plopped down on my bed, crashing back on the mattress and pounding the sides with my fists, giving up.

Jerk.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to remember what the point of the conversation had been.

Madoc was Madoc. He’d drive you crazy with fifteen questions so you’d figure out the answer on your own, rather than take two seconds to give you the answer himself. He felt the journey was more important than the destination.

Just like me.

I slipped my hand into my hair and rubbed my scalp, exhaling a laugh at the irony.

My phone beeped in my palm, and I groaned.

Gosh, you’re quiet today.

I shook my head, amused and exhausted at the same time. I brought my phone up above me, typing my response.

Very funny.

His response came immediately.
Shall I tell you what to do?

Yes,
I replied.

But you already know.

I typed quickly.
Tell me anyway.

His text took only a moment.
You tell the guy you’re dating that your boyfriend’s back.

I let my arms drift back down to the bed as I closed my eyes, sighing.
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too.

My phone beeped again.
And he’s gonna be in trouble . . .

What the . . . ?

Hey-la,hey-la, my boyfriend’s back,
he continued singing, and laughter tickled my throat.

“You’re on crack,” I whispered to myself.

I bit my lip between my teeth, and the warm sensation of anticipation started filling me for the first time in years. I brought up my phone and typed.

You see him comin’, better cut out on the double,
I continued the lyrics, smiling.

He texted again as I headed for the bathroom to shower.

Very good, my young Padawan. Very good.

***

After I’d showered and cleaned up, I put on some old jean shorts and a black T-shirt to work on my car. Despite the lack of rain—my favorite kind of weather—the sky was beautiful, with barely any clouds, and the light breeze blew the fragrant summer scents through all the windows in the house.

I bounced down the stairs—with new energy in my step—and stopped to listen wistfully at the boys’ music carrying through the air from next door. I glanced out the window and spotted Madoc, Jax, and Jared all hanging outside around Jax’s Mustang and looking under the hood.

Jared had changed into jeans, and he had a white T-shirt hanging out of his back pocket, and oh, my God . . . a light layer of sweat cooled my back as I took in the sight of the smooth, muscular slope of his back from his neck down to his waist.

The sun beat down on his bare skin, good tunes completed the scene, and I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Heading into my garage, I hit the door opener, the wash of sunlight hitting the tires and then the hood and front windshield of my dad’s old Chevy Nova.

I grabbed a clean shop cloth off a worktable and slipped it into my back pocket before tying up my hair into a ponytail.

My feet tingled inside my ratty old black Chucks, so before I could chicken out, I walked outside.

I immediately felt Jared’s eyes on me as I unlocked my car, reached in the driver’s side door, and popped the hood. I was trying not to look across my yard to where he was, but then I realized that was a little childish.

So I looked over as I lifted the hood and saw Fallon heading toward me. Behind her was Jared, with his back to me and looking over his shoulder. Those damn brown eyes weren’t on my face, though.

With his eyebrows pinched together, he looked almost angry as his gaze slid up my legs, slowly traveling up my thighs and to my waist. The legion of butterflies you usually get on a roller coaster was now fluttering between my legs, and I breathed out a slow breath to calm myself down.

His hungry gaze met mine, and then he turned around, a model of control.

But that’s the thing. If Jared hadn’t really changed that much, then the need he was feeling wasn’t being forced away.

It was collecting.

And fuck me if I was in his line of sight when it overloaded.

I dove into my garage, assembling the few tools I’d need as Fallon grabbed a stool from the workbench to hang out with me as she watched. “Wish You Hell” by Like a Storm carried over from Jax’s yard, and I busied myself, diving under my hood to perform maintenance work.

During the next hour, Juliet arrived after finishing her volunteer tutoring sessions at the high school. She dashed over, gave Jax a seriously long kiss, and then joined Fallon and me as I replaced some spark plugs, cleaned out some connections, and performed the regular weekly stuff like checking my oil and the pressure on my tires.

“Hey.”

I looked up from under the hood to see Jared’s assistant, Pasha, approach.

“Mind if I hang out?” she asked.

I jerked my chin to another stool. “Of course not. Have a seat.”

She hopped up on the stool, lifting her glasses to the top of her head. She was quiet and cute, and I was really relieved that she seemed easy to get along with, despite her attitude.

Even with the jet black hair with purple chunks, and the eyebrow piercings and studded black belt, she still looked incredibly innocent. She wore skinny jeans and a black and gray flannel shirt, rolled up at the sleeves. Her hair was curled into loose waves, and other than the heavy makeup on her eyes, she was fresh faced.

Juliet kicked her flats to the ground and put her feet up on a footrest on the stool. “So Madoc’s pressuring you pretty hard?” she asked Fallon, continuing their conversation about Madoc wanting kids.

Fallon nodded, swallowing the drink she’d just taken from her water bottle. “Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “I mean, he’s not giving me a guilt trip or anything, but damn . . .” She laughed.

I grinned, gazing over under my eyelashes to watch Jared get down on the ground to reach under the car for something. His thick arms, smeared with grease, the sun and sweat on his tight stomach . . .

I looked away.

“Hi,” I heard a male voice behind me.

I dipped my head, getting out from under the hood to see Ben.

“Hey,” I blurted out, surprised.

He had his hands in his pockets, and he smiled, looking expectant. Or hesitant.

I pulled out my shop cloth and wiped the few smudges from my hands. Fallon and Juliet had stopped talking, Pasha had gotten up to go explore my garage, and Ben and I had an ocean between us.

It wasn’t easy like it had been two days ago.

I looked to my friends, trying to look calm. “Just a minute, you guys,” I told them, and I didn’t miss the glance they exchanged.

I inched past Ben, giving us some space beyond their ears.

Standing close, it was hard to meet his eyes, but I did. “Ben, I’m really sorry about the past couple of days,” I spoke softly. “I know things have been awkward.”

My gut twisted, and I didn’t want to hurt him. I almost wished he was a jerk so this could be easier.

“I know.” He nodded, looking around before meeting my eyes. “But I think I know why.”

His eyes flashed to Jax’s house, and I followed his gaze, seeing Jared with his back to us, but leaning his hands on the hood and peering over his shoulder, watching.

“He doesn’t pull my strings,” I explained. “Medical school is looming, and with the house going up for sale, everything is just—”

“So he’s not the reason I haven’t slept over?” Ben interrupted. “Or barely gotten you alone in two days?”

He wasn’t mad. His raised eyebrows and gentle tone told me he already knew the answers. It wasn’t that Ben expected sex, but he knew it was the next step between us. I’d been warm, and now I’d gone cold.

I frowned, wishing he wasn’t right.

I knew I still wanted Jared. The chemistry hadn’t changed, and no matter what we failed at, we were great in the bedroom.

But there was still love there, too. More than ever, actually. I didn’t know if I wanted him back, and I wasn’t ready to make that decision yet, but I knew I didn’t want Ben with the same passion.

And he didn’t deserve anything less.

He gave me a sad smile and leaned in. “I’m glad you gave me a shot.” He kissed my cheek. “Good luck at Stanford.”

And he turned around, walking back to his car.

I watched him go, feeling a little regretful. He’d made it too easy for me. But no matter what happened, it was the right thing to do.

I turned around, refusing to meet Jared’s eyes, because I knew he was still watching, and I headed back for my car. Pasha still stood in the garage, looking after Ben’s ride as he sped off down the street, while Juliet and Fallon had continued their conversation.

“Well.” Fallon rubbed her neck, acting like they hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop. “I’m determined to make the most of this time with just the two of us, but you know Madoc . . .” She trailed off, sounding amused. “The more the merrier. He wants five. I said one. We compromised at five.”

Juliet busted up laughing, and I realized they were still talking about Madoc’s plans to knock up his wife ASAP. Fallon still had two years of graduate school at Northwestern, though, so I knew she’d rather wait.

“Is this your mom?” Pasha called out.

I looked up to see her leaning over a workbench, regarding a frame on the wall. I knew the picture that hung there. My mom, dad, and me at Disneyland when I was five.

“Yeah,” I answered, fastening the last cap under my hood.

“How did she pass away?” she asked.

I shot my eyes over to her, confused. “How did you know my mom died?”

Her mouth fell open slightly, and she hesitated.

“Um . . . I,” she stammered, her eyebrows doing a nosedive as she searched for words. “Well, I . . .”

And then she huffed out a breath, looking at me with an apology in her eyes.