After the Before (20 page)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Jasmine

As I flip through the movie selections, I chance a glance at Alex. He’s leaning against the headboard
, and his dark, tattooed, muscular arms are behind his head. His eyes are closed, those long, beautiful black lashes leaving shadows on his cheeks.

I scoot closer and tuck myself against his side
, feeling a little self-conscious in doing so. Every time I get close to him, the all too familiar stampede of butterflies bombard me. He stays where he is, relaxing further and breathing deeper. At his response, I find myself following suit. I cannot comprehend how I am ever going to walk away at the end of this week. I can already feel my heart breaking just thinking about it.

My eyes drift back to the screen, surfing through
channels without paying attention. I decide I want to watch a comedy, something funny, and something that will distract us from our impending expiration date that we have set upon ourselves. 

I click on The Other Guys, with Will Ferrell. I’ve seen it before, but
really enjoyed it. I’d rented it and brought it home for my father and me to watch. The wicked witch, aka Margret, was out with some of her friends, so we actually had a nice time. I hit confirm to purchase and the screen said the movie would start in five minutes, giving me enough time to get my munchies together.

I toss the remote next to Alex’s leg and lean up to the bags of goodies we’d bought at the
convenient store. As I begin to open the bags and ice cream, Alex comes back from la la land.

“What’d you pick?” He leans up, eyeing the junk food.

“The Other Guys, have you seen it?” I ask, not looking back at him.

“Nope, don’t get out much anymore.” He snags a bag of mini snickers and lays back against the headboard, dropping the bag in his lap.

I drag the bags and jug of ice cream up next to us; this way, I can remain snuggled next to Alex. “The TV said it would start in five minutes.” I sound like I’m rambling, because the message is still on the screen, plain as day for him to read himself. “So we have a couple more to go.” I roll my eyes inside my head at myself…
smooth, Jasmine.

I sit back, making note not to lean on him this time and silently hope maybe he will move toward me.
I am such a grade-schooler with a crush. ‘
Do you like me? Circle yes or no.’
God, I am so lame.

I pull the jug of ice cream up to my lap and bring out my spoon. I love strawberry cheesecake ice cream. The first bite sends a heavenly taste across my taste buds,
making my toes curl. My body lets out a small moan of its own accord.

“Good?”

“Mm hmm.”

His smile is still plastered on his lips when he resumes watching
the TV, just as the movie starts. I begin spooning mouthful after mouthful of ice cream into my mouth, because I don’t know what else to do. I feel awkward, but it’s only when brain freeze overrides me, that I realize that I am wolfing down the creamy goodness at an alarming rate… nervous much?

I set the now half-eaten bin down on the nightstand and relax back into my pillows. Alex fluffs his pillows a moment later and slides them closer to me. When he leans back, our arms touch again
, and my heart melts at his warmth. The tension in my body leaves me the longer we touch. The movie is as funny as I remembered the first time, and Alex seems to enjoy it too.

His presence relaxes me so much
that I fall asleep halfway through the movie. I’m only vaguely aware that it’s over when Alex leans away from me to shut the TV off with the remote. A small pouting whimper escapes my lips when he extracts himself to use the restroom.

H
e leans down and whispers to me, “Shh, I’ll be right back.” Then gently brushes a kiss against my cheek.

The small contact is enough to pacify me until he returns
moments later, shuts the light out, and slides back into bed with me, pulling me onto his chest. My body lets out a sigh all on its own as he traces small patterns on my arm. I’m almost completely under, my breathing slow and even, when he starts speaking quietly to me. It takes me a moment to understand and register what he’s saying, and that he thinks I’m sleeping.

“How am I ever going to let you go?” He murmurs against my hair. “I am so alive
and content when I’m with you, near you, hell, even if I see you across a room; I feel some kind of peace. I haven’t felt this whole since my papa, Marisol, and Jace were still alive.” His fingers slide from my arm to cradle the glass pendent that holds my brothers ashes. “I miss them so much.” His voice is choked and small. “I wish we could stay here forever, just like this.” He lets out a long low breath. “How am I ever going to let you go?” He repeats his earlier words and slides further down in bed, pulling me tight against him. “Sleep well, angel.” He presses his lips softly to my forehead and holds them there, as if he’s savoring the sensation of my skin.

If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have started to cry. Instead, my body relaxes into him more at his words
, and I lose the battle with sleep listening to his slow rhythmic breathing against my ear.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Alex

Last night holding Jasmine, I realized how hard it’s going to be to let her go. I cannot begin to comprehend how I am going to do it. A clean break would be best, but somehow, I think that’s impossible
at this point.

I wake before
her, puzzling her out, watching her sleep and breathe softly on my chest. Her beautiful features are tranquil and without worry as they rise and fall on my slow breaths.

Shortly after I w
ake, Jasmine stirs, snuggling herself tightly against my side, draping her leg and hip over mine, pulling me closer to her warm body. Instantly, my body reacts to her new proximity. I’m already sporting la empalme being next to her, and now that Jasmine is practically on top of me, her leg rubbing me in the right place, I want her more than ever. Just thinking about her touching me again is almost my undoing. If I were smart, I would go take a cold shower before I finish myself off with just my imagination.

I groan as I move out from under her. Jasmine’s whimpering protests are almost enough to make me stay where I am and finish what I’ve started in my fantasy
, but instead, I quietly move to the bathroom, my boxers pitching a tent, pointing the way.

I turn the water on, not bothering to check the temperature before I step under the spray. Even though the water is practically freezing, it takes a few minutes for my problem to go away. Every time my thoughts drift back to the girl lying in my bed only a few feet away, my body
reacts without my permission. I’ve never had this problem before. Sure, I get morning wood, but Jasmine has me in a constant state of wood. I can’t help it, I’ve been with other girls, a lot of them, but none of them have made me feel this way. Trying to control myself around her is proving problematic.

By the time I step out of the shower, my lips are tinted blue from the cold water. I know Jasmine is awake
because I can hear her moving about on the other side of the wall. I pull on a fresh pair of boxer briefs and shorts and open the door, only to find Jasmine standing directly on the opposite side. She has a towel tossed carelessly over her shoulder; her clothes and hair are a mess, like she has just climbed out of bed... my bed. So much for trying to solve my little problem with cold water. One look at her disheveled appearance and my morning friend returns.

“Alex? Are you
all right? Your lips are blue and you’re shaking.” She asks, concerned.

She reaches out to me. When her hand touches my arm, raising goose bumps in its wake, I snap to attention. “I’m fine.” I say, but my voice is still in a trance from looking at her.

“Alex, you’re not fine. You’re freezing. Why are you so cold?” She steps into me, wrapping her arms around me to share some of her warmth. When her midsection touches mine, her eyes go wide and look down. “Oh.” A small playful smile crosses her lips. I think it’s finally registering to her why I am so cold after taking a shower.

“Sorry.” I say, sounding like a pendejo.

She looks like she has a sudden case of boldness and I know I’m right when she asks, “You want me to help you with your, um…problem?” Her eyes flash with mischief and desire.

Good God, how am I supposed to deal with this? Maybe asking her to stay in my room was not the brightest idea I ha
d ever had, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. “Jas, we’ve already talked about this.”

I run my hand through my hair, frustrated, letting out a long breath. I have no hope for my issue to resolve itself anytime soon. When I look back at her, the same devilish grin is on her face.
What is she thinking? If her thoughts are running the same path as mine, I pray the words never leave her mouth. If one of our thoughts is voiced, I will not have the strength to deny her any longer.

“We don’t have to have sex…” She leaves the sentence hanging as her towel drops to the floor and she steps into me.

“Jasmine, I…”

My words die in my mouth as she pushes me against the wall and her hand slips into my shorts wrapping around me, caressing me. My breath catches in my throat and I almost choke on it. She likes my reaction; I can read it on her triumphant face.

I slam my head back against the wall, just trying to keep breathing. “Oh God,” I murmur, staring at the ceiling, “Don’t stop.”

Jasmine is slowly stroking me, as if we’ve done this a thousand times
before. She only has to make a few passes and I am ready.

She whispers against my lips, “You can call me Jasmine, Alex
,” then she leans into me, pressing her lips, breasts, and hips against mine.

That’s it for me. Holding back is no longer an option. I jerk and shu
dder against her as she pins me hard with her body against the wall. If she hadn’t pushed up against me so firmly, I would have buckled to the floor.

“Jasmine.” I moan her name
, and it tastes as sweet as caramel on my tongue. Recovering takes me a couple of seconds while regaining my bearings. I’ve never been as satisfied by anyone in any way as I am at this moment. I’m dizzy with ecstasy.

“Feel better?” She smiles innocently at me, as if having her hand down my pants happens every day
. “I’m gonna take a shower. You want to go eat and then find something to do for the rest of the day?”

I’m still grasping my surroundings, coming back from my cloud of elation. I can think of one way I want to pass the rest of the day with her, repeating this action and much, much more. I have to swallow before I can answer.

“Yeah,” and that’s the extent of my vocabulary at this moment.

“
Okay. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” She says as she leans up on her tiptoes and kisses me.

She giggles as she picks up her towel and steps around me, tossing the bathroom door closed, but
keeping it unlatched. The water begins to run and I can hear her clothes hitting the floor, the shower curtain pulling aside, and then water hitting what I know is her silky vanilla skin. I close my eyes and imagine the water running down her back, off her perfectly round, perky ass and breasts. I shake my head, trying to rid these thoughts, because the last thing I need is to pitch another tent before she comes back out.

‘
Then again, she helped me out.’

I smile to myself and push off the wall to finish dressing and regain my composure before she comes back out in god only knows what.

‘
Please be fully dressed.’
I beg silently. Can I last three more nights with her in my bed without taking her? I pray that I can, because if I take her virginity and then leave her, I will never be able to forgive myself.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Jasmine

I’m standing in the shower and I’m pretty sure I can hear Alex still breathing heavily on the other side of the door. I smile so wide, my cheeks hurt. I c
an’t believe I did that. I’ve never done anything like it before, but it was exciting, thrilling, and one hell of a turn on. I want him to be my first, even if we never see each other again and stick with our plans to separate after this trip. I know I will never feel what I feel for him with anyone else, and I want my first time to be with him, no one else. Our connection is more than physical; something possesses me and draws me to him.

I finish washing my hair and body, remembering I forgot to bring my clothes into the bathroom with me.

‘
That’s too bad.’

I know what I want and if I have to seduce him to get it, I will. He wants me too
; it’s obvious, but he’s only trying to be the gentleman, which is something I love about him. By the exasperation on his face when I was helping him out earlier, it wouldn’t take much encouragement on my part to get what I want.

After I towel off, I wrap it around my breasts and head out to grab my clothes. Alex is over by the window, watching the waves on the beach intently. Either that
, or he’s trying not to notice me in my towel, so I give him a break, grab my clothes, and return to the bathroom to change.

When I’m fully dressed
and have my makeup on, I exit to find him hanging the phone up in a hurry. I narrow my eyes suspiciously, and walk over to him, wondering what he’s up to.

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“Nothing that you need to worry about right now.” He smiles, and walks over to me to press a kiss to my temple. “Are you ready to get some grub?”

“Yes.” I can tell he’s trying not to think about what happened earlier, so I make sure I bring up the subject just to tease him a little. “You feeling better?” I turn a light pink and giggle.

He looks embarrassed and horny as hell. He brings me back to his arms and breathes on my neck and ear, sending erotic tingles through my body. “Si, much better.” He kisses the side of my jaw. “You should be careful doing things like that.” At first, I’m not sure what he means. Is that some type of rejection? Did I do it wrong? He seemed to enjoy himself, thoroughly. My heart is racing about what I might have done wrong when he finishes his sentence. “You make me want to take you right now when I think about what you did.” His words are a growl and I think he’s about to throw me on the bed and have his way with me, which is totally fine on my part.

“I’m good with that.” I tell him, tempting him further by pressing my breasts into him and do a little soft breathing of my own on his skin.

He growls loud, like a wild animal. “Jasmine, you know I’m not going to do that to you, not when we are…not when we have to split after the next couple of days. I would never be able to forgive myself for taking something like that from you.” I can see he’s waging a battle within himself. He’s not even sure if he can tell me no for much longer because I can see it in his eyes, the lust, the desire, and yes, even the love.

“What if I don’t care? What if I want to, even if I could never see you again? Imagining someone else in your place is a slap in the face. No one could ever replace you, Alex. It seems like I’m betraying you just thinking about it.” My eyes are staring at the red wine carpet in our room, not having the courage to speak these words while looking directly at him.

He tilts my chin up. I can see small flecks of gold in his dark chocolate eyes. “It just feels wrong to me.”

Wrong? How could something so beautiful feel wrong? There is no hint of wrongness in it for me. If I only had one second to spend with him after we made love, I would still do it
, and I would never regret it. “I guess if you feel that strongly about it…” He sees the heartbreak in my eyes, the rejection.

“Ja
s, don’t ever think it’s because I don’t want to. I want to.
Jesus
, I want to. However, I think it would just complicate our separation. It’s already going to be difficult enough.” He smooth’s my hair back and tucks it behind my ear. “Do you understand where I’m coming from?”

I do understood, but being together should never feel like a mistake
, or feel wrong. “I understand.” I tell him and try not to bring down the rest of our day. “Where do you want to go eat? Feel like another Flaming burger?” I half-heartedly joke.

He turns slightly green at the mention of the evil burger he ate the day before. I laugh at his reaction
, “No, anything but that,” he laughs along with me.

“How about something light? Are we going to be in the sun most of the day?” I ask, because I know him to
o well already. I know he was on the phone planning something for us to do for the rest of the day.

He smiles, knowing I figured him out. “Yeah, something light would be good. Soup and salad bar sound good to you?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect. Do you need to go and check in with your people?” I ask, surprising him that I would be cool with him doing something like that. Do I like it? No, absolutely not, but what am I going to do? This is who he is now.

“
I think I should. Give me a sec, alright.”

I nod while he gets on his cell and calls Carlos. I only hear one side of the conversation
, and most of it’s in Spanish, so understanding it is over my head. You would think having a best friend for ten years who speaks fluent Spanish; I would have picked up more... at least civilized words, and not the bad ones he taught me.

“
Is everything alright?” I ask once he ends the call.

“Yep, I told him that he’s pretty much in charge the rest of the week because I would be hanging out with you for the trip, but to call me if anything needed to be dealt with.”

I have to admit, the gang scene is not my thing, but the bad boy role is quite the turn on. Thinking about him protecting me and being my hero when it comes to scumbags like Andrew, is a huge aphrodisiac.

Alex grabs the community guide the hotel keeps in each room and looks up a good
restaurant, far enough away where we can have our privacy. It’s about two miles away, but I’m up for the walk, especially since there is a boardwalk along the beach the entire way there. None of the other seniors seem to be venturing more than a few blocks from the hotel. Scared, I guess.

“You ready?” He asks.

“I’m more than ready to spend the day out with you.” His face lights up as he leans down to kiss me, while I’m sitting on the bed.

“Oh, bring your suit.” He says.

It’s daytime, and my suit is a two-piece. “What about my marks?” I ask.

His eyes turn cold and stern thinking about the marks that adorn my back. “You can wear one of my tank tops and bring a pair of light shorts. If there
are not too many people around, you won’t need to worry about it. As much as seeing them bother me, I enjoy seeing you half naked more.” He grins, trying to make a joke, but his smile is far from touching his eyes. He’s still really pissed off about what happened. I wonder what he will do the next time he sees Margaret, or if he ever will.

“Alright.”

“Meet me at the store we bought our junk food at. The boardwalk is only a little ways away from it.”

“
Okay.” I turn to go out the door, but he pulls me back to him.

“Forgetting something?” I look at him puzzled. The burning in his eyes
reveals to me exactly what I forgot.

I smile wide and kiss him, slipping some tongue
in, and turning him wild in the process. His hands start to wander, but I think I am going to give him a dose of his own medicine and deny him, just as he’s done to me the last couple of days.

I pull away
, way too soon for his liking. He looks at me with drunken eyes, confused.

“Alright, I’ll see you there in a few.” I turn and walk out the door.

He registers what I’m doing before I leave, understanding the game, but before the door closes, I hear him say, “You are cruel, women.”

I laugh as I head down the hall.

I reach the store before him and browse around, making sure I have everything I need at the hotel. The only things I grab are a couple of bottled waters and sit outside on the bench, waiting for Alex to show up.