Authors: S. P. Cloward
They appeared out of place in this neighborhood and could
actually be in danger by being there at night. First, they were white. Second,
they were dressed in nice clothes and appeared well-to-do and fairly clean cut.
The girl was wearing a nice black jacket over a blouse and long tight jeans
with a pair of nice flats. The guy was wearing a brown leather jacket with a
scarf and a pair of jeans and athletic shoes. Third, they were calling
attention to themselves by being loud. Of course, Andre thought, appearances
could be deceiving and this couple could be the most dangerous people out
tonight.
After a few more blocks, the couple was now even with him on
the opposite side of the street. He thought about the strangeness of this and
slowed down to see if they would go ahead of him. They moved ahead a few
hundred feet and then stopped to kiss, allowing Andre time to catch up. He bent
over to tie his shoe and the couple continued to make out.
Figuring it was better to get home instead of worrying about
this drunken white couple, Andre continued walking. He was only a couple of
blocks away.
The couple stopped making out, sped up and walked ahead,
stopping again in a dark place situated in the middle of the street ahead where
there was little light. Andre continued until he was even with them. His side
was also dark, and there were a couple of old abandoned commercial buildings
that sat close to the street. As Andre was passing the buildings, the couple
ran from the opposite side of the street toward him. He didn’t know what was
going on at first but then immediately braced for contact.
The girl took his left shoulder while the man took his right
and they tackled Andre to the ground, knocking the air out of him. The force of
the fall left him stunned for a second, which was enough time for the man to
climb on top of him and pin down his arms. Andre tried to pull his arms up but
the guy was exceptionally strong for his size. “Don’t damage him,” the girl
warned. Unable to move, Andre yelled, which prompted the girl to also sit on
top of his chest and their combined weight forced the air out of his lungs with
only a slight whooshing sound.
From somewhere unknown, a light came on and Andre caught a
glimpse of the girl’s face. She was looking up at someone. “Took you long
enough,” she said to a third person who Andre couldn’t see. The girl then
looked back down at Andre and grabbed each side of his head so he couldn’t
move. He thought at first she was going to kiss him, but as she aligned her
face with his their eyes met.
When Andre opened his eyes, he was alone in a white room and
was strapped down to some sort of operating table. An IV had been attached to
his arm. He didn’t know where he was or why, only that he didn’t want to be
there. He tried to lift his arms to gauge how strong the straps were and if
there was a possibility that one of them might give him enough leeway to
maneuver out of them. The straps had no give and even though he was strong by
any standard, there was no way he would be able to break out of his current situation.
A tall, skinny man with gray hair entered the room. He was
older but not old. His eyes were slightly recessed into his skull, resulting in
dark shadowing around his eyes. He took no notice of Andre, but walked to a
nearby table and began prepping syringes from vials of clear liquid.
Andre recognized the girl who had attacked him when she
entered the room. “I’ll go get Rahul,” she said when she saw that he was awake.
She turned and walked back out of the room. The gray-haired man looked over at
Andre and then returned to the vials on the table.
A few minutes later the girl returned with a tall
Indian-American man.
“I like the way this guy looks,” the man said. “Tough. Let’s
hope it works this time.”
“It’ll work this time.” The gray-haired man finished filling
one syringe with the liquid from one vile, and another with the fluid from a
second. He then emptied the contents of the first syringe into the IV.
“Jezebel, you hold the eyes so Rahul can sync. Once the transfer is done, you
will have to clear Rahul’s body out of the way so I can jab this into this
man’s heart.” He motioned to Andre while picking up the second syringe.
Having already attempted to escape, Andre didn’t try again.
He didn’t know what they wanted, but he was sure he was about to die, and this
was as good a death as any. He thought about his daughter lying in the
hospital. He knew he would see her soon. He knew she was in heaven. He thought
about all that he was leaving behind: two jobs he hated and a one-room basement
apartment that he tried to convince himself he didn’t hate. Death really was a
better option.
The room began to get blurry. At first Andre thought it was
a result of the liquid the gray-haired man emptied into his IV, but then he
realized he was crying. He hadn’t cried in a while. He tried to hold back the
tears. His captors might think he was crying because he was afraid, but he
wasn’t. He was happy to be going to see his daughter. He was happy that it was
all finally over.
His eyes slowly began to shut and Andre heard the
gray-haired man say that it was time. The girl held his eyelids open as the man
named Rahul looked into his eyes. He felt himself lift out of his body and
without questioning the sensation, let go of life.
W
es remained in
the darkness of his mind. He wasn’t ready to enter his park yet, but instead
walked along in the nothingness. Curiosity beckoned him to explore the
blackness. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced in life, asleep or
awake. When he looked down he could see his body as if he were standing in a
fully lit room, but there was nothing beyond him, and it wasn’t “light” that
allowed him to see himself. Nor was he able to see anything else. It was true
nothingness.
Wes re-created the bench and mirror he fashioned during his
encounter with Vanessa. He walked away from the exchange wishing he’d made a
difference in her life, but he knew there was no possible way for this to be
true. They hadn’t synced. The entire meeting only existed in his mind; a creation
of fantasy not fact. He thought of the change in her appearance that took place
before he withdrew from the sync with her, but the more he pondered the events
of the encounter, the more he recognized it for what it was – a selfish attempt
to ease his guilt. The bench and mirror disappeared as if to confirm the truth
of his thought.
Wes continued to walk along in the darkness. If only there
was someone he could talk to, but no one came to mind. Admittedly that was the
real problem, wasn’t it? Even if he were still alive, he had no one he could
confide in. How had he let himself become so isolated from everything – from
everyone?
He thought of Emily. An instant connection to her had formed
the first moment he saw her. It must have been her demeanor or maybe her eyes.
Their appearance was one of kindness. Regardless of the reason, the instant
kinship he felt toward her allowed him to be easily pulled into her mind to
share her own sanctuary. He began to think about her beautiful beach and his
first experience with soul-syncing, and suddenly he realized he was there
again. The surroundings were just as he remembered them from his first sync
with her. There was the pier that one could walk toward forever but never get
any nearer to, the glowing fish in the water, the starry night, and the white
sand at his feet.
“Wes?” Emily’s surprised voice came from behind him and he
turned to see her sitting in the sand. He must have walked past her without
even realizing it. Or more accurately, he probably just created her.
“Hi Emily.” Wes retraced his footsteps and sat down next to
Emily on the sand. He might as well enjoy the companionship, even if it was a
companion of his own creation. “Wow, I didn’t know I could re-create other
Mortuis.”
Emily’s expression was confused. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” Wes said, pulling
his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “My theme park
isn’t ready to be used as a sanctuary and I was tired of walking around in the
nothingness, so I guess I created your beach to use. I hope you don’t mind if I
borrow it.”
Emily quickly stood and pushed Wes with her foot, knocking
him over in the sand. “I sure as hell do mind that you’re here. I’m also
dumbfounded as to how you got here.”
Wes stared up at her, amazed at his realistic accomplishment
of creating this convincing version of Emily. Just as in his recent visit with
Vanessa, he seemed to have no control over the conversation. The interaction
felt real, but how could it be? He’d created her and her sanctuary in his mind.
Hadn’t he? He stood up and brushed himself off.
“I think I’m sorry,” Wes said nonchalantly. “I didn’t think
you would be so upset about me re-creating your imaginary world.” He was now
facing Emily and stared at her with a slightly puzzled look. “And I especially
didn’t expect my creations to protest their creation. I wonder why I made you
so angry? Matter of fact, I don’t remember creating you at all.”
“Wes, you’re not in your mind, you’re in mine, and I wanna
know how you got here!” Emily was becoming agitated.
Wes was now as confused as Emily seemed to be. Was he still
in his own mind? This interaction was too real to be one he had created. If he
had somehow navigated himself into Emily’s mind then it was a major breach in
her privacy. It was an invasion that would elicit the exact response she was
exhibiting. Wes took a few seconds to think over the possibilities. If Emily
was a creation of his mind, shouldn’t he be able to change her in some way?
After trying without success, he concluded it must be her.
“Emily, it really is you. I’m so sorry! How did I get here?”
Wes asked. He was feeling out of control – an uncomfortable feeling, and one he
didn’t like.
His confusion seemed to pacify Emily. “Calm down,” she said
in an attempt to soothe his irritation. “I may be a little upset that you came
here without being invited, but I’m still incredibly intrigued as to how you
got here.”
“I don’t know, I was just walking in the nothingness and
thought about being here that first time…and then…all of a sudden, I was. I
wouldn’t have if I would have known I was traveling into your mind.”
Emily stared at him for a minute. “Let’s sit down and
discuss this, Wes,” she said as she did just that. “I’ve never heard of this
happening before to anyone. I’m wondering if it isn’t just a creation of my
mind.” Emily grabbed Wes’s hand and pulled him down to sit on the sand next to
her. They sat side by side and looked out toward the water. “I need you to
change something about the surroundings to prove to me you’re real.”
Wes was now fairly certain he was speaking to the real Emily
but decided it would be pointless to argue. After all, the entire situation
would be clarified when he saw her the next morning. He decided to go along
with her request and tried to think of what he could do to prove to Emily, if
it was the real Emily, that he was also real. It needed to be more dramatic
than what he’d done on their first soul-sync. She would be expecting shooting
stars, a jumping whale, and a sunrise.
With that in mind, Wes decided to completely change the
surroundings. If he could remove Emily from the world she created in her mind
that would definitely show her that he was real. He also knew he couldn’t take
her to the theme park. Emily had already seen it once and might believe it to
be a re-creation from her own memory and not Wes’s.
The beach slowly faded and was replaced by the rooftop of
his antemort apartment building in Chicago. It looked just as it did the night
he died. The sun was setting. Emily and Wes were seated side by side on one of
the lounge chairs.
“Okay, you’ve convinced me.” Emily stood up and walked over
toward the side of the roof that faced Lake Michigan. She stood at almost the
exact location where Wes sat on the ledge thinking of suicide. “This place is
new to me so I know it’s from your mind.”
“This is the rooftop of my old apartment. The night I died I
almost jumped from right where you’re standing. Good thing I didn’t.” Wes
thought about the irony of his situation. His resolution not to jump hadn’t
saved him. He ended up dying that night anyway. Would his soul have severed
from his body if he had jumped or would he have been a walking pile of mush?
Jumping or pills aside, it seemed death was his destiny that night.
He joined Emily next to the wall that surrounded the
rooftop. She was looking over the edge at the pavement below. “Yes, it is a
good thing you didn’t jump. Most Mortuis who jump don’t make it. I guess if
you’re desperate enough to jump then you don’t really want to stick around
afterward anyway.”
“After learning to feed tonight, I almost wish I had
jumped.” The falling and shattering of the glass alcohol bottle was vivid in
his memory, and as he thought about the bottle one appeared halfway down the
height of the building, completed its fall, and shattered on the pavement.
“That’s why I tried to help the girl I fed on tonight before I came to your
beach.”
“What?” Emily looked up from the shattered bottle on the
pavement below. “You connected with the antemort from the bar?”
“I think I must have if I’ve really connected with you.” Had
his meeting with Vanessa really happened? Could he have really helped her to
see herself in a new way? It was reasonable to believe that he had synced with
her now that he stood here with Emily in her world.
“When I synced with her in the car tonight, I saw how she
saw herself,” Wes explained to Emily. “Her perception of herself was so warped
I felt bad for her. I figured the least I could do was try to correct her
distorted self-image.” Wes paused for a second. “I took life from her. I needed
to repay that. Maybe I succeeded in doing it if I’m actually standing here with
you now.”