[Alaskan Quest 03] - Whispers of Winter (15 page)

“Well, I need to be going,” Helaina said, appearing uncomfortable.

“Give me that,” Jacob said, reaching for the suitcase. “The least I can do is walk you over to the Kjellmanns’.”

Helaina nodded, and Leah could see the hint of a smile on her lips. Things were working out. She knew from the way Jacob acted that he was still in love with Helaina. It delighted Leah in a way she hadn’t expected. She was happy for both of them.

“Well, I’ll expect you both for breakfast,” Leah declared.

“A very late breakfast,” Jayce said, yawning. “At least I hope it will be a late one.”

Jacob laughed. “Me too.”

When they were gone, Jayce turned to Leah. “How I’ve missed you. Even the smell of you.” He took her in his arms and buried his face in her hair.

Leah wrapped her arms around Jayce’s neck. “I despaired of ever seeing you again. I wasn’t strong or brave. I hope you’re not terribly disappointed in me.”

He pulled back and looked at her oddly. “You aren’t serious, are you?”

Leah shrugged. “Well, Helaina was so certain of your return. She kept such hope, while I felt more and more discouraged. Some days I felt confident that you would find your way back to me. Other times, however …” She shook her head. “There were some bleak times.”

“I know—for me as well. I tried not to let on to Jacob, but I feared we would all die of some hideous and painful malady and the last thought I would have would be of regret. Regret that I ever left your side. I was a fool, Leah. Please forgive me.” He stroked her jaw with his thumb, sending a shivering sensation down her spine. How she loved this man.

“You were only following a dream.” She was barely able to speak. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

“I’m done with dreams. I want the honest truth of what my life has become. I want a future with my wife and children. I want to make a home with you.” He lowered his mouth to hers. “Now and always,” he whispered against her lips. “Now and always.”

Jacob slowed his pace, hoping Helaina would take the hint. “I wanted to tell you something,” he began, “now that we have a moment to ourselves.”

Helaina looked up, but the darkness made it difficult to see her expression. “Then tell me.”

He stopped and put the case on the ground. “Come here.” She moved closer and he reached out to touch her face. “I still can’t believe you’re really here. You were all I could think about while we were gone. I knew when you left that it was a mistake, but I couldn’t bring myself to beg you to stay. I knew that if you hated Alaska, you would always be miserable, even if you loved me.”

Jacob buried his fingers in her carefully pinned blond hair. He knew he was making a mess of things, but he wanted this moment to last—to go on and on. There was a sense of desperation in his heart.

“I want you to know that I made a decision to leave Alaska.”

“What?”

He sighed. “I can’t bear to think of life without you. I’m willing to give up Alaska if it means having you at my side for the rest of our lives.”

She laughed lightly. “Oh, Jacob. We are a pair. I sold everything I owned in New York and Washington, D.C. I sold the estates, the apartment, the furnishings. I even gave away and sold off most of my clothes to the secondhand stores. I kept very little because none of it mattered without you. I missed Alaska the minute I went away. I kept thinking about the beauty and the people. I realized I was no longer content in a noisy city where no one knew anyone, nor cared to.”

“Then you’d make your life here—with me?”

“Of course.” She reached up to place her hand against his cheek. “Jacob, I’ve loved you for a long time. I’ve loved you for so long now, I can’t even really say when it began, but I suspect it was when you nearly ran me over on the streets of Nome. I came back last year so that I might be here when you came home. I wanted to see you and find out if there was a chance that you could possibly love me … as much … as I love you.”

She started to cry, which took Jacob by surprise. Helaina Beecham was such a strong woman that he’d seldom ever seen her give such a display of emotion. He gently brushed away her tears with his fingers as she continued.

“When we learned that you were … lost … I thought I would die.” She drew a ragged breath. “I went crazy trying to get news. It seemed the
Regina
and her whereabouts was of far less importance than other issues, like the war in Europe. Stanley tried to help me, but no one had any answers, and of course, no one would do anything until warmer weather.

“But I never gave up hope that we would see you again.

Somehow I just knew you would make it—you would come home. What I didn’t know … what I doubted in my heart … was whether you might love me.”

Jacob pulled her against him and held her tight. “I love you, Helaina. I will always love you. Never doubt it, and never be afraid that you will lose my affection.”

She held on to him as though he were her salvation. Jacob loved the feel of her in his arms; they fit each other perfectly. He’d only dared to dream of this during those long months in the north. He’d prayed and hoped against all reason that he might be able to find her again, and in answer … here she was.

“Marry me, Helaina,” he whispered.

“Of course.” She composed herself and pulled away. “When?”

“Now.”

She laughed, and it filled the silence of the night like music. “Now?”

“Why not? I’m sure everyone is still awake. We’ve only been here for a few moments. Let’s just go and get Bjorn and Emma and get married.”

“What of Leah and Jayce? What of Adrik and Karen?”

“We’ll get married at Leah’s house. That way the babies can sleep.”

She sighed. “I’m glad you’ve thought this all out. I’m too tired to make reasonable decisions.”

Now it was his turn to laugh. He grabbed the case and reached out to pull Helaina along with him. “Are you saying that marrying me isn’t a reasonable decision?”

“Well, not exactly. I think the decision is reasonable, but … I’m not sure the procedure is such.”

Jacob knocked on his sister’s door. “You stay here and tell them what we’re doing. I’ll go get Bjorn and Emma.”

Helaina took her suitcase and nodded. Jayce opened the door as Jacob turned to go. “What’s wrong?” he questioned.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jacob called out. “We’re just going to get married at your house—right now.”

Chapter Thirteen

L
eah helped Helaina get ready for her wedding by arranging her long blond hair. “I wish you’d wait and let us give you a more proper wedding.”

Helaina laughed. “This is as proper a wedding as I desire. You forget—I’ve been married before. I had the most lavish wedding money could buy. My father bought out every white rose for two hundred miles around. There must have been hundreds of them.”

“I can’t imagine,” Leah said, trying to mentally picture such a thing. “What about your gown?”

“That was a special creation by the finest designer of the day. I spent months going for my fittings. It had a beautiful bodice with an ivory overlay that went to my neck. The sleeves were long and fitted and the train stretched out some twenty feet. It was truly magnificent. I wore it several times in our first year of marriage, but after that it was packed away, and after Robert died, I later gave it to a distant cousin who thought she’d like to have it for her own wedding.”

“You must have been a vision,” Leah said, thinking back to her own simple wedding.

“I’m sure you were a vision on your wedding day too,” Helaina declared, seeming to read her mind. “I will always regret not being there.”

“I wish you would have been there too. Those days were so hard—so bleak. Still, after waiting all those years, I can’t complain. Jayce was the prize, after all.”

“Just as Jacob is all I really want. The ceremony is not nearly so important.” She turned as Leah applied the final pins. “What is important is to have all of you here. Leah, I’m so glad we’re friends. I never really had a friend like you. Most women were jealous of my wealth or standing. New York is a very difficult place with its hierarchies and rules. You might find peers at your own level of society, but should they somehow be lowered in status or advanced, your relationships are forever changed. It just comes with the territory.”

“I can’t imagine. I couldn’t live like that. I mean, if I suddenly found myself elevated to a new level, I couldn’t just turn my back on those I loved.”

“With family, of course, you would not be expected to, but friends would be another story. Unlike in England, where having a poor but titled friend is still worthy of your attention, Americans are snobs when it comes to such matters. It was one of the reasons I refused to get too close to anyone. It was also the reason it was so very hard on me when my parents and Robert died. I had no one in whom I could confide, except Stanley, and he was far away and often too busy. Those were hard times.”

“Well, you won’t have to endure them again,” Leah said handing her the mirror. “Now we will be sisters, as well as friends. No social standing or financial fiascos will separate us.”

Helaina took the mirror, but instead of looking at her reflection, she met Leah’s eyes. “I know that with confidence, and it blesses me as nothing else could. When I think of the past and all we’ve endured together, the things you did for me—risking your life with Chase and … everything else. I might not have come to believe in God had it not been for you.”

Leah shook her head. “The past needs to stay in the past. I know I’m a poor one to talk, given my inability to do exactly that, but I am trying. You would have found your way to God with or without me, but the Lord knew I needed to be humbled and taught mercy. I wasn’t very kind to you back then, but your forgiveness has blessed me like a warm fire after days on the icy trail. I will always be here for you.”

Helaina nodded. “And I will be here for you. No matter what.”

“What’s this?” Jayce called from the doorway. “You two seem mighty serious about something.”

“We were just having a bit of girl talk,” Leah said, smiling. “Don’t you think our bride is beautiful?”

“She is lovely,” Jayce said, surveying Helaina as she stood.

“Thank you.” Helaina looked at her reflection momentarily, then passed the mirror back to Leah. “Jayce, I hope you know that I … well … I …” She seemed to fail for words.

Leah knew Helaina wanted to make sure things were at peace between all of them. “I think Helaina wants to go to her wedding knowing that the past is forgiven and that we are all friends.”

Jayce put his arm around Leah’s shoulders. “The past is gone. Of course we are all friends. My time out in the Arctic taught me much, not the least of which was to let go of my past. The burdens I carried for years seemed unimportant in the face of that adversity. I hold nothing against you, Helaina, and I pray you hold nothing against me.”

Helaina came to Jayce, tears in her eyes. “I don’t deserve such mercy, but I am grateful for it. You, Leah, and Jacob have done so much to teach me about being merciful even when someone deserves otherwise. It’s been hard for me, but I’ve finally been able to come to terms with my parents’ deaths— and Robert’s death as well. It hasn’t happened overnight, but as I’ve sought God’s heart in the Bible, I’ve realized that He offers forgiveness for all, and I must strive to do likewise. I must also learn to put guilt aside as God forgives and covers my mistakes with His love. Guilt has eaten away at my heart for so many years. Jacob was able to see that and admonished me to do something more productive with my time.” She gave them a rather coy smile. “I guess Jacob will be that ‘something more productive.”’

They laughed together.

“I’m back!” Jacob called from the front door.

Helaina bit her lower lip and threw a quick glance over her shoulder as if she’d forgotten something. Leah reached out to calm her. “You look perfect. Remember this moment fondly.”

Helaina nodded. Jayce extended his arm to her. “Shall we? If we don’t get out there soon, he’ll just start bellowing again and wake up the children.”

Helaina smiled and took hold of Jayce as though she needed the extra support. “I’m ready.”

Leah watched them walk through the door. Jacob would finally be married. He would finally have a family of his own.

She wiped a tear from her eye and drew a deep breath. Their lives were changing again, but this time it was something very good.

In the living room Jacob waited with Adrik, Karen, Sigrid, and Bjorn. “Emma stayed home with the children. She knew Sigrid would be beside herself if she missed out on seeing Helaina married,” Bjorn said.

“Well, we’ve gotten to know each other very well this last year. As the only single, white women in the village, we had a great deal in common,” Sigrid offered as an excuse.

Bjorn yawned. “Ja. They have talking in common for sure.”

Leah grinned. Her husband was home, her brother was marrying the woman he’d loved for a long time, and her family was safe and sound. What more could she want?

Bjorn began the service by reading from Genesis. “God doesn’t want man to be alone—He said it wasn’t good.” Leah always enjoyed his thick Swedish accent. “And it’s not good. To be alone is a terrible thing—especially here in the north. Solomon, too, talked of two being better than one. They share warmth and a helping hand. When two people come together to marry, they share those things as well as love and hopefully a belief in God’s saving grace.”