All About Me (8 page)

“
What
’
s the plan for this weekend, big boy?
”
Malcolm asks, polishing off a whole plate of ribs. I
’
ve gone back to sitting with the boys from the team during lunch. India is convinced that we don
’
t have any chance of ever being together, and that
’
s fine. She has to see that I
’
m working on myself. The main thing is that I have to stay away from girls. No one apart from her exists anymore.

“
Don
’
t know. We have practice tomorrow, no plans beyond that.
”
I respond, genuinely not interested. India hasn
’
t shown up for lunch yet. Evans is cracking some jokes a few tables away. I really want to remove that smirk from his face.

“
Listen, man, there is that party in Robinson
’
s house. I heard that it
’
s going to be epic.
”

“
Are you going?
”
I ask Jacob, who has been silent for most of lunch, but that
’
s normal for him.

“
Probably. You know Dora, she won
’
t miss a party.
”

That
’
s awkward. Jacob and I with the rest of the team used to be at all the parties. Most of the guys from the team were single, so they were hoping to pick up some girls.

“
All right, I might show up as well,
”
I tell him. He frowns and puts away his sandwich.

“
Is that your big master plan to get her back? Parties and fucking more girls?
”
he asks, like he
’
s an angel and has never done that before. He was a wild card, fucking anything that moved, but now he is all over Dora.

“
Don
’
t worry, man. This won
’
t be about any girls. I just want to relax and have some fun. She needs to see that I
’
m over her before I can start putting something in motion,
”
I assure him with a wink.

“
Whatever, I can smell trouble. Look at MacKenzie. She has her own idea of fun,
”
he points out.

I look behind and spot MacKenzie, who sends me her most smooth and sexy smile, revealing a lot of her cleavage. She hasn
’
t given up on me. Nothing, I don
’
t feel anything for her; my dick is flat, so I turn around.
“
I
’
m going to get her back. You
’
ll see.
”

Jacob doesn
’
t seem convinced, but when Dora approaches, he forgets about our conversation.

“
Come on, bear, we need to go,
”
she says, kissing him in front of all the guys. Then she leans next to me.
“
I
’
m watching you, Oliver. If you hurt my girl again, I swear to God I
’
ll do anything in my power to destroy you. This is going to be so much worse than high school.
”

No one else can hear her as she leans towards me, whispering all these words close to my ear with her sweet smile before she walks away.

For a second I want to say something back to her, but then I know that she only wants to protect India, so I keep my mouth shut. My reputation in Braxton makes me invincible and I
’
ve got to change that, show people that I
’
m not some cocky arsehole who
’
s good in sports.

Next day is the weekend and I get up early. Keeping myself busy is a good plan for now. Normally on Saturdays I lie in bed until late. In the past few weeks I was doing that with India. Now I don
’
t let these memories take over my positive mood. That
’
s the thing with memories
—
you can go back to them over and over again. It
’
s always bliss to think that I made her happy. I have a quick breakfast and then get on with the session at the gym. There I just let go of myself, trying to work out until the pain is gone.

India isn
’
t with me and I don
’
t even want to think about her naked body pressed against that jackass. I waste some more time later on. Around five o
’
clock in the afternoon, Jacob arrives back with a few rugby guys. We have a few beers and discuss the strategy for the upcoming match. In some respect my mind is somewhere else, and I start to question my new plan. She has to see me there. I
’
m not sure if she is going to show up, but I want her to see that my life is moving forward.

Close to nine in the evening, I put on jeans and T-shirt and head out. The Robinsons are twin brothers. They are on their last year and most of their parties are epic. No one in Braxton knows about my past, and I need to keep it that way. Jacob, India, and probably Dora know that I was a loser, a worthless man, hiding behind abuse at home. Once I came to Braxton I changed that facade, distancing myself from the past. Dora can threaten me as much as she wants, but she has no idea what I
’
m capable of.

Chapter Seven

Parties and the past.

Present

We all walk for about twenty minutes to the house by the campus. The twins live there with a few other blokes. I know them all; we used to drink together just after the term ended. My mind seems to be in pieces. Alcohol slowly circulates through my system, waking up my fighting side. Jacob vanishes as we leave, probably meeting Dora.

I try to stay relaxed, and when we all walk into the house, the temperature in my body rises because I spot India. She is by the window with that asshole. Our eyes meet for a brief moment, but she quickly looks away, ignoring me completely. I pretend that she doesn
’
t bother me at all, but deep down I
’
m surprised that she is here. At the beginning of the year, I threw some nasty shit on her, making a deal with the Swedish Alexander. She was pretty humiliated by him and even after the restaurant, she showed up here.

“
Hey, stranger, long time no see. I missed you,
”
Angelica says. She is a girl that I used to fool with around back in my first year.

“
Good, kind of busy. Have you seen Alan?
”
I ask, knowing that if I take her home tonight I
’
ll be back to square one. I
’
m moving forward, but she can
’
t see me as a man-whore anymore. Angelica looks amazing in a short, black dress that exposes her long, lean legs. She bites her lips, holding a glass of wine in her right hand.

“
He
’
s in the kitchen making some drinks,
”
she says with a smile.
“
You know, you should dance with me later, show me that you still care.
”

A few guys are looking at us. India is no longer in the room. She vanished somewhere with Evans, who can
’
t seem to keep his hands off her. With red, raw rage building up in my body, I tell myself that I have to calm down. Twice I lost it and twice she told me to go to hell, so I have to keep it cool.

“
Sorry, Angie, but I
’
m only after one girl. You
’
re amazing, but my heart melts for someone else,
”
I say.
”
 

Fuck me. Some honesty. Well, that
’
s a first, Olie.

She raises her eyebrow in astonishment.
“
So it
’
s true, then. You
’
re still hung up on that skinny girl that you made a bet over a while ago?
”

“
Yeah, that was a mistake on my part. I was a fucking moron.
”

“
Good luck. By the way, if it doesn
’
t work out with her, you know where to find me.
”

It will work out, Angie, even if I have to do things that I
’
ve never done before to prove my
love
. I disappear into the kitchen quickly, before my stupidity takes over. There are lots of rumours that are flying on campus. People are placing bets on the next girl that is going to be my fuck buddy. Sooner or later they
’
ll realise that it
’
s going to be all about India, not all about me. I
’
ve been there and done that.
 

My thoughts are shortly interrupted by Alan, who is mixing tequila with some other spirit. His brother is by the door, wrestling with someone. I
’
m the first one who has a chance to try his new drink. I can
’
t say no. The cocktail tastes like shit, but at the end of the day, I
’
m here to have fun, and if girls are off-limits, there is always alcohol. Alan turns up the music and I keep having shots of vodka. My mood is getting better, and people are staring at me. Girls are trying, but I stand by the window and keep watching everyone. Dora is dancing with Jacob. She looks wasted. And India, well, she is nowhere to be seen.

The music is good, the drinks keep coming, and the company doesn
’
t disappoint. So the time passes until my mind goes blank. When I get outside, a few people greet me like I
’
m their old friend. I don
’
t know, maybe I partied with them before. I walk around the house and stop, looking up the sky, wondering what would it be like if I had the ability to change the past. Nothing is ever that simple. For a long moment I
’
m enjoying my own company. Then I hear a noise: it sounds like someone is crying. I take a gulp of my drink and carry on walking.

“
Go away, I don
’
t want anyone to see me like this.
”

It
’
s Rhian, my ex-girlfriend that I ditched for India after couple of weeks of dating.

I have to admit, I
’
m drunk, but Rhian looks miserable, hiding her face in her palms. There have been many girls in my life, but I cared for Rhian. I thought that I could have a real relationship for once, but then I dumped her like a worthless used bag.

That was not cool, Oliver, not cool at all.

“
Rhian, are you all right?
”
I ask her, situating myself next to her. She was upset when I broke up with her all those months ago. Thinking about it, I realise I
’
ve changed. I didn
’
t even know how much I hurt people until the roles turned.

She lifts her head, staring at me from under her long dark eyelashes. I have no clue how long she
’
s been sitting here, but her eyes are red and swollen.

“
Oliver? What
…
what are you doing here?
”

“
Just hanging out, trying to clear my head. What
’
s wrong? Why are you crying?
”

She shakes her head, wiping the tears from her eyes. I don
’
t know why I had been such an arsehole to her. At least I could have grown a pair of balls and told her that I didn
’
t love her. As usual, I was too caught up with my own ego to notice what kind of damage I
’
d done.

“
It
’
s Malcolm. We went out a few times and I saw him making out with MacKenzie earlier on.
”
She sobs.

I work out my knuckles, trying to breathe. Fucking MacKenzie. Why does she always interfere with other people
’
s business? Now I see myself from a few months ago. Treating girls like possessions. Rhian is hot and she deserves someone who appreciates her. I flop my arm around her and push her to my chest.

“
Don
’
t stress. Malcolm is obviously too thick too notice how good you
are for him.
 
You
’
re hot and he
’
s an idiot. MacKenzie will play with him for a little bit, then break his heart. He will come crawling back.
”

Rhian
’
s sobs die down and she looks up at me, her mouth lifting up in a small smile. I hate knowing that I was like Malcolm, that I slept around just to shut down the demons from the past.

“
He can go to hell for all I care,
”
she says with a shrug and then pulls away from me.
“
Besides, what are you trying to do, Oliver? I
’
m not fucking you again.
”

I pinch my eyebrows together and run my hand through my hair. This is what I
’
m talking about. Rhian only sees what she gets. Oliver Morgan, a guy who is a man-whore and who uses girls. Fuck, how can I not hate myself?

“
Rhian, I
’
m not here for that. I just wanted to get away from the crowd.
”

“
Right.
”

“
Listen, I owe you an apology
…
when we dated I wasn
’
t completely honest with you,
”
I say, knowing that I should do more than just apologise. Rhian had never done anything wrong.
“
All my life I loved only one girl, but I realised this way too late.
”

She gets up, widening her eyes at me.
“
Oh my God, so it
’
s true then? You want to hurt her more. You
’
re an ars
—”

“
No, Rhian, no, this isn
’
t like that. I love India, but I
’
ve destroyed her feelings for me. I cared about you and I should have never asked you out, so I
’
m sorry for that. I
’
m sorry for dumping you.
”

Silence stretches for minutes, and Rhian doesn
’
t respond. I should be apologising to every girl that I ever hurt because only now can I see that I
went about destroying whatever was in my way just to feel better about myself.

“
It
’
s all right. I never expected us to be serious, but you ended things between us so quickly.
”

“
I just wasn't thinking. Come on, let
’
s get you out of here. I
’
ll get you a taxi home.
”

“
Thank you, Olie. Please don
’
t tell people that you found me like that.
”