All Good Things Exposed (4 page)

The ride in the elevator felt like an eternity. But it was a heavenly, bittersweet eternity. Olivia was in my arms…but she wasn't in my bed. I needed her in my bed. I needed her asleep in my domain where I could protect her always…even from herself…and from me.

I unlocked my door and slid through before kicking it closed and locking it immediately. Without pausing, I strode across the floor to the stairs and quickly took them two at a time. Olivia hadn't even moaned in my arms. She was sleeping contentedly and I wanted to pound my chest hard in some primal need I could barely understand. She felt safe enough to sleep with me without one eye open. She felt at home in my arms…in my presence. The thought was liberating in a way I couldn't begin to explain. It was fantastic.

I walked into the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. I thought about slipping her out of her dress but didn't want to risk waking her when I knew she was in desperate need of sleep. But I couldn't let her spend the night clothed in my bed. I couldn't. It was simply unacceptable. I reached into the nightstand and found the pair of scissors I kept before tugging on the tight fabric of her dress. I snipped through the thin fabric until she was bared to me. I cut the thin straps from her arms before lifting her and unclipping her bra. I slid it from her shoulders and fought the urge to kiss every inch of exposed skin. I'd missed her so much. My throat felt tight. I pulled the cut up dress from beneath her, tossing it on the floor before laying her back down on the bed. I thought once about leaving her panties on, but I couldn't do that either. She was mine. Completely and there should be no barriers. Ever. I quickly went to work pulling her panties from her hips, sliding them down her legs. When she was finally naked as she should be in my bed, I started working on my own clothing. I took off my shirt and pants before glancing at the drawstring pants I always wore to bed. I decided not to wear them. No barriers. Then I climbed in beside her and finally…I breathed.

I hadn't even realized that I had not breathed since I walked away from her seven weeks ago. Finally, I felt alive. I pulled the covers up, dimmed the lights and sighed. My heart jolted in my chest when she wriggled closer to me, curling into my chest as though it were the most natural thing in the world to her.

I slid my arm around her waist and held her tight as I closed my eyes. For the first time in seven weeks, sleep came easily and without torment.

***

There was no pain.

There was no burning in my veins.

There was no gasping for breath as my heart thundered in my chest.

There was no sweat wetting the bed beneath me.

There was just Jace. His scent. His warmth. His body.

Jace?

I sat upright as my heart knocked in my chest. Memories of the night flooded my mind and on their wake a throbbing headache pulsed. I hadn't been sitting for more then a moment before Jace's hand weaved around my waist, forcing my back into the bed. He flipped himself onto me, pinning me to the mattress.

"What are you doing? Get off." I tired to push at his chest, but with the hangover dishing out a serious ass kicking and my desire to stay right where I was, my fight was wasted.

"Stop fighting me, Angel."

"Don't call me that." My voice croaked thick with emotion. "It hurts."

"Fuck," Jace sighed, setting his forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry, Angel. I am so so so sorry."

"Please let me go." I begged. But I knew I didn't mean it. He knew I didn't mean it.

"No."

"Why?" I asked. I had to know. "Why are you doing this?"

"I told you last night. You need me and I'm not leaving you. You can fight it as long and hard as you want, but you're mine. You always were and you always will be." His knee pushed at my legs, urging them to separate. I fought him. "You're mine." He reminded me as he looked into my eyes. My heart constricted in my chest as I fought the most natural thing in the world to me. Jace belonged with me. Inside me. It was where he was always meant to be. I knew this. He knew it. But still, I fought it. I didn't know why.

"We can't," I sobbed the words. " Please,"

"Don't fight this, Angel." Jace cooed, his face nuzzling my neck. "You know it's going to happen. Let me make love to you, Angel. It's been too long."

With those words, my resolve crumbled. He nudged my knees again and I granted him access. I needed this.

His hand moved between us as he settled between my legs. His fingers slid between my folds, separating me. "You're already so wet for me, Angel. Don't you see how right this is? You need me."

"I do, Jace." I sobbed. "I need you." And I did.

"I know, Angel." Jace rubbed my opening with the tip of his penis, circling with a friction that verged on agonizing. I wanted him so badly…I was so ready for him…I ached.

Jace pushed his tip inside me and I moaned at the delicious intrusion. "Do you feel that, Angel? Tell me what you need and it's yours. I'll give you anything."

"You." I raised my hips, eager for him but he was quick. His hand on my hip forced me back into the bed. His grip was tight, almost bruising, but I didn't care. I wanted him to brand me. I wanted him to mark me and make me see I was his. I wanted the world to know I was his.

"Tell me, Angel." He urged. His movements were frozen inside me in a decadent torment. I throbbed around him, needing desperately for him to quell the ache that only he could arise in me. "Tell me what you want. Tell me exactly what you need."

Fuck! "I just need you, Jace." I screamed. "Please, just you. Inside me. Deep." On an added sob I pleaded. "Make me yours."

"Fuck, Angel," he sighed. "You're mine."

And with those words, he plunged deep inside of me. Claiming me. Calming me. In the wake of his first stabbing plunge, Jace slowed his movements before he found a rhythm that rocked us both. He'd been here before, inside of me, but I had never felt this feeling that consumed me. It was liberation in its purest, finest expression. It was healing in its entirety. It was the entity of love. There was no longer room for the tortured feeling of abandonment that mocked my being for the last seven weeks. There was no room for anything negative. Our past hurts washed away as our bodies worked to become one. I locked my legs around his waist, desperate to feel him deeper. He was quick, if not eager to comply. His erratic strokes became measured as he lifted his face from where he'd burrowed it in my neck. The hand on my hip slid beneath my lower back, lifting me into his chest. And he claimed my mouth, tasting my cries of pleasure, swallowing them whole.

"You'll never leave me, Angel." Jace said with conviction. "I'll never let you. Not after this."

"I don't want to." I gasped as he rolled his hips, hitting me in a new place. "I'll never leave you."

And, the funny, unbelievable, impossible thing was…I meant every word. I would never leave Jace. I simply was not strong enough to do such a thing. I needed him in much the same way I needed water. He was essential to my wellbeing. Over the last seven weeks, I had proven this to myself. I knew I needed him and fighting it would only slow down the inevitable. I would be his. Entirely. Forever.

I was certain.

Jace covered my lips with his. I felt him swell within me and I knew he was almost there. So was I. I felt my body build and bow for what it knew I needed. Release. Jace never left me unsatisfied. Even when he'd tried to punish me and leave me wanting for him all day, I'd come. With Jace inside me there was no possibility of my walking away without being thoroughly fucked. No matter his intentions.

"Come for me, Angel."

His words were my undoing. I shattered around him and he quivered inside me. Hot liquid spilled into my body, filling me with even more of him. His cock jerked inside of me with one last bow and his body tensed as he pushed himself deeper. His lips pressed against mine and I gasped into his mouth as I held him to me, my fingers finally weaving into his inky black hair. He caught my lower lip between his teeth and sucked. My stomach tightened at the thought of him biting me there and I felt my core grow hot again with need. Maybe I could do this. Maybe I could do everything he wanted. Maybe I could be everything he needed. Just maybe…I was strong enough.

"You're amazing." Jace whispered against my lips and it was all I could do not to smile like a child in a candy store.

"You're perfect." I countered on a husky whisper.

Jace stiffened at my words before he pushed himself up my body. I gasped at the feel of him moving inside me as he pressed his lips to my forehead. "I'll be right back, Angel." He promised. "Don't move."

Jace lifted his body with his arms, pulling from deep inside me. The feel of his body leaving mine brought back a torrent of memories I would fight to the end to dismiss. My eyes misted and my hands trembled as I lay, staring up at the roof of his bedroom. I could hear my heart beating in my ears. It was a violent sound. And, it terrified me. It terrified me because it was all the more realization that I did, in fact, need him. I needed him more than air. Because when he'd left, even the air hadn't been enough to keep me alive. The thought of him leaving again was down right mind numbing, blood curdling, petrifying. I was completely and irrevocably addicted to Jace Rush in the worst humanly way. He was the meaning to my life, the song to my soul. He was my everything.

"You're so beautiful." Jace's words tore through my thoughts. Bulldozing them. He leaned down between my legs with a warm washcloth, gently washing away my body's need for him. I couldn't help but notice he'd put pants on. I wished he was naked, but I liked looking at him either way. He was stunningly beautiful. Captivating.

"You're the beautiful one, Jace." I spoke on a whispered breath.

Azure eyes flickered to mine. Long black lashes fanned his face and he ran a hand through his 'just fucked' ebony hair. His hard, chiseled jaw ground stubbornly as he stared down at me before him. Everywhere his eyes travelled, they left a trail of blazing fire in their wake.

"I love the color of your skin when you blush." His words were gruff and I smiled. He knew he affected me. He could see it. But I could hear the effect I had on him. And it was a beautiful sound.

"Thank you," I whispered my reply.

"You're very welcome." He grinned. "How are you feeling?"

I frowned. "I'm fine."

"You drank a lot last night." I could hear the displeasure in his voice. And I shrugged. "You should have a hangover from hell."

"I had a headache," I admitted. "But it's gone now." You basically screwed it out of me, I thought wryly.

He smirked. "Hum, is it?"

"It is." I nodded. I felt a scolding coming on and I tensed.

"You're not drinking like that again, Olivia."

I shrugged. "Fine."

Surprise lit his eyes. "You're not going to fight me?"

"No." I propped myself up on my elbows. "I didn't want to drink. I just wanted to find a way to numb my memories of you."

He looked pale. His eyes were wide and wounded. I wondered for a moment if I'd slapped him and somehow forgotten. Jeez. "You wanted to forget?"

I nodded. "It hurt, Jace."

He didn't move. Silence filled the space around us and before it became really unbearable, he spoke. "It did."

"What do we do now?" This was the big question. Where did we go from here?

Jace looked almost weary of me. "You're not leaving me, if that's what you're getting at." He sounded almost possessive and I didn't want to provoke him. His eyes were narrowed dangerously on my face and I had a feeling that if I were to make a break for the door, he would tie me up and never let me go. The thought was just the teeniest bit enticing and I quickly scolded myself for thinking it. What was wrong with me?

"I wasn't planning on leaving, Jace." I sat up to look at him, pulling a pillow onto my lap and hugging it to my chest.

His eyes darkened and he snatched the pillow from me. "Don't hide yourself from me."

I wanted to point out that he was the one hiding from me…Mr. Pajama Pants! But I didn't want to argue. It was pointless and we had more important matters to discuss. Like, our relationship for starters…and maybe his sexual desires. We needed to discuss those too.

When Jace didn't say anything else, I decided to take the bull by the horns. I mean, really take it by the horns and flail it around a little. "Do you still want to fuck humiliation and pain into me, Jace?"

Horror with a sheen of excitement flitted through his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and glared at me. "Stop with the language, Olivia. It's rude."

"Answer my question." I ignored his demand. It really was silly.

"I do." There was no emotion in his voice. "But I don't need it with you."

"What do you mean?"

"With other women, I have no desire to be gentle. I do not make love to women, Olivia. I make love to you."

"But you fuck them?"

His jaw twitched but he didn't scold me for my language. "I do."

"Why?"

"Why what?" He was genuinely confused.

"Why do you want to abuse them and not me?"

He flinched. "Is that the way you see it? Do you see my desires as abuse?"

"Um, yeah Jace." I shook my head, feeling slightly bewildered. "It is abuse."

"They are consenting women, Olivia." Jace replied tightly. "They know what they're getting into."

"Do they?" I asked. "Really?"

His nod was clipped. "They do. And if they don't I release them from their contract." He sighed. "I don't do this with the intention of screwing up someone's life, Olivia. It's a preference. Albeit a fucked-up one, but it's a preference none-the-less."

"But, you've seriously hurt people, Jace."

"I know that." He nodded. He knew I was talking about Lexie. "I've only hurt one woman and I thought I had her consent. She said it was fine. She said she liked it. She lied."

"How could you think she would like it?"

His eyes were cold. "Because many women do."

I felt as though he'd slapped me. "How?" I gasped. "How could someone like it?"

"You'd be surprised." He said dryly.