All I Want Series Boxset, Books 1-3: All I Want for Christmas, All I Want for Valentine's, All I Want for Spring (28 page)

“Did you enjoy the McDonald’s, Elsie?”

Elsie scowled, but nodded, holding up her toy rabbit. “Donald’s,” she repeated, indoctrinated at an early age.

But seconds later, her scowl had become a frown, quickly followed by Elsie’s face turning a distinct shade of grey.

“You okay, Elsie?” Tori asked, a cold ripple of fear running down her entire body. She’d seen that look on the face of her boss’s toddler in her office, and that hadn’t ended well at all.

Elsie’s face was now screwed up and she dropped her toy rabbit onto the floor.

Tori bent down to pick it up, bracing herself for the worst.

“Toilet,” the toddler said, still frowning.

“We’re not near a toilet sweetie, you’re going to have to be a brave girl and hold it in.” All of Tori’s nerve endings were jangling now. What was that old saying? Never work with children and animals?

Distraction, that was what she needed.

“Elsie,” Tori said, holding up both her palms in front of the child. “Shall we play pat-a-cake?”

But before Tori could start up the familiar song from her childhood, Elsie leaned forward, mouth open, and vomited. And not even a little bit of vomit, but way more than Tori would have thought humanly possible from such a small person. Said vomit was now lying on the floor of the bus, on Tori’s seat, but mainly on Tori. On her jeans, on her coat, on her face.

Tori just sat there, not sure what to do. She’d once vomited on a stranger at university after she’d had too many beers. She guessed this was her comeuppance.

Holly stopped jigging and held Elsie tight.

Elsie began to cough, vomited a bit more, then the sobbing started. Tortured, two-year-old sobbing that seemed to shake the whole bus.

“Shit,” Tori said, as a woman on the seat opposite offered her a packet of tissues and a weak smile. Tori accepted both gratefully.

“Thanks,” she told the woman. Tori wiped the sick off Elsie’s face as she began to wail, then proceeded to mop herself up as best she could, before giving up and placating Elsie. Despite being covered in someone else’s vomit, Tori’s first thought was for Elsie, not for herself. Maybe she was growing up. An image of her dad sitting on a cloud looking proud flashed into her mind.

“Hey!” Tori said to Elsie, taking her hand. “It’s okay, we’ll get you home and clean you up. No need to cry, it’s all good.”

In response, Elsie vomited a bit more sick into Tori’s lap.

Perfect.

Only this time, Tori became aware of the acrid smell rising up into her nostrils: hot, wet toddler sick. All this before 3pm on a Saturday. Some weeks, Tori wasn’t even up at this hour. Right about now, she was thinking it was a good motto to live by.

When Tori glanced up at Holly’s face, she saw alarm, just as another familiar smell hit her nose.

Urine.
Holy shit.

“Has she weed too?” Tori asked, the last two words whispered so as not to alert the rest of the bus. She already knew the answer, but she was hoping she was mistaken.

Holly cringed, then nodded. “I have warm, wet jeans,” she whispered back.

Both Tori and Holly were trying not to make eye contact with the rest of their fellow passengers, because Tori knew exactly the face she’d be pulling if she was one of them. Disgust. Repulsion. A ‘get-your-child-off-this-bus-now!’ penetrative stare. Only, they couldn’t. There was nothing they could do but try to stop Elsie vomiting, weeing or crying anymore. But apparently, they didn’t have much control over that, either.

The mixture of smells was enough to send a wave of nausea crashing through Tori, and she swallowed down hard to stop herself from gagging. She breathed out through her mouth, willing herself to keep it together. If she began vomiting too, that might tip everyone on the lower deck over the edge.

Elsie, meanwhile, emptied in every way possible, was now concentrating on crying the loudest she possibly could. Which, it turned out, was really quite loud. Tears were mixed with snot again, and despite being covered in her sick, Tori could only feel sorry for the little girl. From where she sat, crying seemed the most obvious answer.

Luckily, theirs was the next stop, so Tori rang the bell, apologising to the driver as they exited the bus. It sped off, taking Elsie’s debris with it, and Tori and Holly were left standing on the pavement, Holly slotting a crying Elsie into her buggy and giving her Gertie the giraffe to placate her. Gertie had escaped the onslaught, and was one of the few things nearby that was still clean and stain-free.

Once Elsie was strapped in, Tori and Holly speed-walked to their building, not saying a word to each other. They just needed to get home now, then get Elsie and themselves sorted.

Once inside their lift, Tori gave Holly’s hand a squeeze.

In the mirror, Holly gave her a weak smile in return as the lift began its ascent.

But Elsie wasn’t done, choosing that moment to vomit again all over Gertie, the buggy and the lift.

Tori and Holly simply stared as she began crying again, the sound mixing in the lift’s thick air. Sick was dripping down the wheels of the buggy.

They’d all had better Saturdays.

“You think we should take a picture of this moment and send it to your dad?” Tori asked, beginning to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the day.

Holly cracked a sliver of a smile. “On the contrary, I never want to think about this moment ever again,” she replied. She glanced down at Elsie, her little face crumpled with tears. “For someone so very small, she’s capable of mass destruction, isn’t she?”

They wheeled the buggy out of the lift, the wheels leaving a trail of sick on the hall carpet.

“You want to clean the carpet or Elsie?” Tori asked as she unlocked the front door.

“Great choice,” Holly replied, flicking her hair out of her eyes. “You do Elsie, seeing as you’re both covered in vomit. I won’t scare people as much just smelling of wee.”

Tori had to laugh. “You got it.” She grabbed a sobbing Elsie out of the buggy. “Shall we get you a drink before we clean you up?” Tori asked, kissing the little girl’s cheek.

“I’ll get it,” Holly said, walking through to the kitchen.

Tori followed her and perched carefully on the edge of the sofa, ensuring only sick-free bits of her jeans were touching the fabric. “My mum told me yesterday that taking kids out could be romantic,” Tori said, a wry smile on her face.

Holly turned, as she poured some water into Elsie’s cup. “Her idea of romance is wildly different to mine,” she replied. Then Holly’s face dropped as she glanced at Elsie. “Tori,” she said, pointing.

But Tori was too late, looking down just in time to see Elsie lean over and vomit all over Petula.

Then the little girl began sobbing again in earnest.

Tori shook her head, then began to laugh. What else was there to do? Today had been as far from romantic as you could get, but when she looked up, Holly was laughing too.

“Oh Petula,” Tori said, giving Elsie a kiss on the top of her head. “It wasn’t meant to be like this.”

CHAPTER 9

The next morning, things had calmed down somewhat. The flat and all in it were in a state of clean — even Gertie the giraffe was looking fresh after taking a spin in the washing machine. Elsie was breakfasted and had so far held it down, and Holly was reading her a story on the sofa. She was the epitome of a good, modern child. Holly knew the truth, but she forgave her anyway.

“What time is your dad picking her up?” Tori asked, walking into the kitchen area and putting the kettle on. Their flat favoured open-plan living, with the kitchen, lounge and dining room all in one. Then she checked on Petula, wiping down her leaves as Sarah had instructed over dinner. Sarah wasn’t to know her daughter would puke all over them, but Petula was fighting fit this morning, unbowed by yesterday’s onslaught.

Holly looked up from the story to answer. “Around 1pm. He’s going to take her in to see Sarah for a bit, then go home. Why?”

“Just wondering. Thought we might go to the pub for Sunday lunch, dissect our weekend.”

Holly winced, her jaw creaking as she did. “Nice idea, but I can’t.”

Tori frowned. “You’re not working again, are you?” She stared at a train as it passed the window.

Holly gave her a weak smile. “I have to, babe. I’ve got some reports due in tomorrow, unfortunately. I didn’t have time to do them on Friday.” She’d much rather spend Sunday down the pub with Tori, but she had to do this. “I’ll make it up to you later, promise.”

“Horse, Lolly!” Elsie said, whacking an image of a horse in the face.

“It is a horse, you’re so clever!” Holly said, glancing over at Tori once again and mouthing sorry to her.

In response, Tori rolled her eyes, before walking over to the just-boiled kettle. “I assume you want one?”

Holly nodded at her. “Please.”

Tori took the tea over to the sofa and plonked it down in front of Holly, who shifted Elsie onto one knee almost immediately and took a sip. Holly liked her tea blisteringly hot. She let out a contented sigh, then took another sip before putting the cup down.

“You know, that’s another plus point of getting together with your best friend: you both know exactly how the other takes their tea. I love you, have I told you that this morning?” Holly had some work to do to get back into Tori’s good books, so she might as well start right away.

“Love you!” repeated Elsie, smacking Holly in the face with her tiny hand.

Holly gave Elsie a squeeze in response and kissed her cheek. Elsie smelt delicious, all childlike and innocent. “Love you too, you little monkey,” Holly said, kissing the top of Elsie’s head for good measure. “Are you looking forward to seeing your mummy and daddy today?”

Elsie kicked the back of her heels into Holly’s knees, and Holly sucked in a breath. Nobody told her having children would be so physically damaging.

“Mummy!” Elsie said. “Mummy!”

Tori smiled at the sisterly love just as Holly’s phone blared. Holly picked it up and shifted Elsie to her feet.

“It’s Dad,” she said. “I’ll take it in the bedroom.”

When she returned a few minutes later, Elsie was running up and down their large picture window in the lounge, waving at the trains going by. It was darker today, more like a January day should be. The iron-grey clouds fairly reflected Holly’s features when she walked back in.

“We have a problem,” she said, putting her phone on the coffee table and sipping more of her tea.

Tori raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Dad has to stay at the hospital till later, so he won’t be picking Elsie up till tonight. Sarah’s not up to seeing her.” Holly winced. “And I know it’s a bind, but can you take Elsie out today? I really need to do these reports, and I won’t get a thing done with her here. Didn’t you say you had some Christmas presents to take back at some point?” It was a big ask Holly knew, but she had to work today.

But Tori surprised her, like she was doing quite a lot these days. It was like somebody had waved a magic wand and Tori really was a new person. New, improved, and sexy to boot.

Tori exhaled a large breath before replying. “Sure. I guess I could go to John Lewis to return some stuff, so I can take Elsie. She can’t vomit on public transport two days running, can she?” Tori grimaced as she said it, eyeballing the toddler who was now banging on their lounge window, trying to get some reaction from the train passengers outside. Nobody was biting.

“Highly unlikely, but don’t quote me,” Holly said, scooting up to Tori’s end of the sofa. This was
her
sister they had to look after,
her
family drama, and she really was grateful that Tori was helping her out. She was turning out to be the best girlfriend ever. “And have I told you lately that I love you?”

“About five minutes ago — this is not the time for overkill,” Tori replied, smiling.

“I do, though.” Holly kissed Tori on the lips, a familiar rush spreading through her body. “I wish I could take you to bed all day today,” she whispered in Tori’s ear. There was nothing that Holly would have liked more right at that moment.

Tori closed her eyes and drew in a sharp breath. “I’ll try to picture it while Elsie’s vomiting on the tube,” she replied.

“Careful what you wish for.”

***

They made it to John Lewis in no time at all, Elsie acting the obedient, attentive child on the tube. Tori even caught another lesbian couple gazing lovingly at her, and Tori didn’t blame them — Elsie was a cute kid. Perhaps they just got unlucky yesterday with the whole vomiting and weeing thing.

En route to returning some slippers and a jumper in the massive department store, they passed the Christmas sale, now selling extravagant mince pies and wrapping paper for a fraction of the price they had been a month ago. Tori slowed down and contemplated buying some Christmas puddings and freezing them, but then dismissed the idea. When exactly had she turned into her gran? She laughed at herself as she pushed Elsie into the lift and shot up to the fifth floor.

Elsie sat up in her buggy when she saw the toy department ahead, so Tori played the dutiful guardian and gave her a tour. Elsie was jiggling and straining to break free, so Tori gave in, and then spent the next ten minutes running after her, prising toys from her small, wet fingers. Just why were toddlers’ fingers always so wet, anyway?

Undoubtedly though, the big hit of the day was a massive giraffe situated smack in the centre of the toy floor. When Elsie saw it, she went very quiet, before approaching it with uncustomary stealth. Her arms didn’t even fit around one of its legs when she went to hug it; but hug it she did, not letting go until Tori coaxed her away.

“Big raff!” Elsie whispered, still overwhelmed as Tori plonked her back into her buggy and strapped her up.

Tori could only agree.

Elsie was craning her neck to look back as Tori wheeled her away.

They raced through the shoe department and past the posh cafe on the top floor, its aromas of coffee and fresh cake wafting invitingly under their noses, before finally landing at the returns desk. Once there, Elsie began to whine, wanting to get out of her buggy again. Tori didn’t want another scene on her hands, so she got Elsie out and onto her feet, instructing her to hold onto the buggy while she exchanged her presents.