All or Nothing (2 page)

I bring myself to the now, I walk into
the bathroom to apply my make up for work.  I gaze at my reflection, I have
long chestnut brown hair, brown eyes and a curvy body why doesn’t he want me
anymore?  We haven’t had sex now for six weeks, I have tried but we are just
not in that place.  I wipe the tears away with a tissue and blow my nose, I
will have to go back to my parent’s in Kent if I leave here.  I sigh, I am too
old to be sleeping in my old bedroom even if I would be welcome what should I
do?

I dress in a black pencil skirt, a red
top and red heels I brush my hair loose and apply an extra amount of lipstick. 
I take a deep breath and grab my coat, I won’t make any rash decisions for
now.  I glance at the clock before rushing to the door, I cannot be late for
work.

I receive a text at midday from Scott, 

Hi, we are meeting Jamie and Sarah-Jane
for drinks Portobello at seven meet you there? S

Great! That’s all I need!  I reply,
Ok.

Jamie is Scott’s partner who is getting
married in Vegas, we were invited as Scott is Jamie’s best man.  I have met
them a couple of times but they are just not my type of people.  They live
their life within the lines and I find them extremely tedious, now I am no rule
breaker but believe in living my life to its full potential.  I have absolutely
nothing in common with Sarah-Jane who holds a high position within the banking
industry.  I will know absolutely no one apart from the happy couple who
observe me how Bella regards Scott.

Bella insists I should go to experience
Vegas, Scott is paying for the trip as I cannot afford it.  We pay half each of
every bill in the flat despite the fact that Scott earns five times more than
me leaving me with very little money to play with.  The flat is in Notting Hill
and the rent is obscene, I love living so central with so many trendy bars
available but what is the point in having those bar so accessible if you never
visit them, Scott is always at work and my friends are in South London. Bella
visits if Scott is away on business and stays over but refuses to call in when
Scott is around she detest him now that it is apparent that she was indeed
right in her first impressions, Scott is mean and moody.

I walk into the bar and spot the group
making my way towards them, Scott notices me and turns placing a kiss on my
cheek.  I realize this is for everyone else’s benefit and smile politely, ‘hi’
I greet.

‘Hi’ he turns to the group and introduces
me to a handful of people that I have never seen before’ I shake hands and
mentally attempt to remember the names as Scott informs me that they are all
attending the wedding too.

‘Congratulations Sarah-Jane’ I kiss her
cheek briefly ‘you must be looking forward to the big day now’ I smile ‘have
you organized your dress yet?’

‘Yes, not a traditional wedding dress
though’ she waves her hand as a gesture of unimportance.

‘Oh right’ she is a strange one, she is
marrying the man she loves and is less than enthused regarding the whole
occasion.  I kiss Jamie’s cheek congratulating him too to only be informed that
they are marrying now as SJ (yes that is the nickname of his wife to be!)
insisted they marry or separate, wow what a proposal!  These people are weird,
they are the most cold, uninteresting bunch I have ever come across in my
life.  I smile and mingle attempting to find at least one person that I may
possibly have a normal conversation with when we are away without any success
whatsoever.

We enter our flat and I place my bag on the
floor shaking my coat off hanging it on the hooks in the hall.  Scott follows
suit before lifting his briefcase and placing it in the small study that holds
our PC and filing cabinet.

‘So, sounds like a good shin dig’ he
replies referring to Vegas.

‘Hmmm, have you been before?’ I enquire
standing in the doorway.

‘Yes, good fun’ he smiles.  Wow, maybe he
will relax and enjoy himself for a change.

‘I will have to buy a new dress for the
wedding’ I murmur to myself more than him.

He regards me ‘yes, lose the red lipstick
though a bit tarty if you ask me’

‘Well I never asked you Scott’ I fume anger
bubbling in my insides.

He holds his hands up ‘whatever you say
Abi’ he rolls his eyes ‘you are so argumentative’

‘And you are so judgmental’ I fume.

‘I am not’ he faces me ‘this is a classy
wedding Abi not the local cocktail bar with Bella and her followers!’ he
snorts.

‘Screw you and your pompous arse friends
Scott.  I would prefer Bella’s friends to yours any day’ I storm into the
living room moving to the fridge to pour a glass of wine.

‘I hope you aren’t going to make a show of
me Abi?’ he follows me and glares disapprovingly at my alcohol.

‘Really Scott, I have more class in my
little finger than those bunch of freaks!’ I am mad as hell.  He glares at me
before returning to the study without another word.

It is three weeks later we are boarding a
plane to McCarran International Airport, Vegas.  Scott and I have avoided each
other since the night of drinks with Jamie and SJ preferring to say nothing
rather than end up screaming obscenities. I have decided to move out when we
return home of which I am sure Scott is aware, our relationship is zero.  Bella
declares I can sleep on her sofa bed for as long as I need which I may do for a
few weeks until I can sort out more permanent living arrangements.  I can rent
a room somewhere, Bella is researching for me whilst I am away.

We are sitting in business class with the
whole gang, there are around twelve of us here with another twenty arriving
over the next day or so.  I have a plastic smile pasted on my face wishing the
next five days away as rapidly as possible.  I would have refused the trip but
Scott informs me if I embarrass him by not turning up he will send me the bill,
I have little money as it is I maxed out my credit card on purchases for this
trip to prevent me appearing as the poor relation.

I sip my champagne gazing out of the window
a lump forming in my throat, all around me people are talking and making plans
for the next few days. Scott has stopped pretending to be interested in my
welfare and is standing over the other side chatting to Jamie and SJ and I feel
alone.  I sigh gulping down the lump and take a swig of my drink to settle my
emotions,

‘You ok?’ a voice murmurs quietly to my
left.  I turn and notice a man sitting in the middle seat observing me.  He has
the most gorgeous eyes I have ever witnessed, they are so green they remind me
of a cat’s outlined with spiky black lashes.  His hair is dark, trimmed short
at the sides and back the top longer creating a slight quiff effect.

‘Yes….thank you’ I mumble embarrassed by
the stranger’s empathy.  He throws a comforting smile my way and my heart skips
a beat.  I take a deep breath and force my gaze back out of the window
determined not to allow the tears to escape from behind my eyes. 

When eventually Scott returns to his seat
opposite me I inform him, ‘I am moving into Bella’s when we return’ to which he
shrugs his eyes hard and cold.  I glance back down at my hands in my lap and
take a breath, I just need to get through these next few days.

I feel the stranger’s eyes on me at regular
intervals during the flight but refuse to meet his gaze embarrassed by the
predicament I have found myself in.

We enter The Bellagio hotel lobby and I am
astounded by all the activity, the ceiling has multicolored glass swirls the
whole length creating such an effect that people stand gazing up at it in
admiration.  We check in and are given our key cards before the bell boy rolls
our bags to our room on a gold trolley, this is pure luxury. 

The atmosphere is smoky and loud and the area
is huge, a lot of the men head directly into the Piano bar leaving the women to
unpack their belongings.  Scott wanders off with them without a word leaving me
alone, I decide to check the room out and change I feel grimy from the
airplane.  I tip the bell boy and walk through to observe the view, our room
overlooks Caesars Palace and the hustle and bustle of the Vegas strip.  Maybe I
will just go exploring and leave him to it, I agreed to attend the wedding but
the wedding isn’t until Wednesday. 

I shower and change into some skinny jeans
and a vest top pulling my hair into a high ponytail and pumps.  I take the
elevator down into the foyer and wander around the casino, I have never been a
gambler never having enough disposable income to afford to lose anything but
enjoy watching people’s animated, hopeful faces on the tables. 

As I explore the hotel I notice the man
from the airplane strutting towards me, he is so self-confident in his walk
that it is a turn on to watch.  I feel my insides tighten as his gorgeous green
eyes focus on mine a small smile playing on his lips. He is wearing jeans and a
white t-shirt obviously also having showered and changed.  He stops before me
and I automatically halt flushing at the intensity of his gaze.

‘Hi’ he mumbles in his deep velvety voice.

‘Hi’ I whisper accidently as my voice
doesn’t quite find its way out.

‘He’s an arsehole’ he mutters gently.

I flush aware that he heard our
conversation on the plane.

‘It’s been on the cards a while’ I avert my
eyes from his devastated at his pity.

‘Fancy a drink?’ he queries quietly his
eyes assessing my reaction.

‘No thank you, I am going for some fresh
air’ I shake my head.

‘Mind if I join you?’ I hold his gaze for a
split second before replying.

‘Sure’ what? Why the hell did I say that? 
I am here with my boyfriend, ok well not quite my boyfriend but…..

‘Have you been here before?’ he probes.

‘No’ I shake my head ‘not quite my scene, I
am here for a wedding’

‘Not yours I take it?’ his lips twitch
slightly.

‘Definitely not mine’ I smile at his humor
‘what capacity are you here?’

‘Business’ he murmurs.

‘Have you been before?’

‘Yes’ he guides us out a different route
from which I entered and for this I am glad, the thought of walking past the
wedding party isn’t very appealing I am not sure he is aware or not of their
location.   We exit the hotel and I take a deep breath, ‘it is a little
repressing all the smoke and no windows’ I utter quietly.

‘Yes, it can be. Where to?’ he mutters
brightly.

‘I don’t know, I am a Vegas virgin’ I smile
as I feel my mood lift in the open air.

His eyebrow raises and something in his
eyes sparkles I think it is humor which promotes a smile from me, the first
genuine smile I have produced in a while.  His eyes darken and I stop smiling
as I feel my insides flutter, I am attracted to this man.  Maybe it is because
I haven’t had sex in so long I feel turned on by merely looking into his
cat-like eyes. His eyes pierce mine and I suddenly comprehend the expression
his
eyes penetrate my soul
because at this moment this man is delving into my
mind. I take a deep breath and he follows before exhaling the breath,

‘Wow!’ he mumbles and before I can enquire
what exactly he continues ‘ok then Vegas virgin allow me to deflower you’ his
eyes are dark and assessing and I flush at the images flashing through my mind. 
He smiles all-knowingly before whispering ‘tut, tut….what is your name?’

‘Abi’ I croak attempting to regain my
composure.

He holds out his hand ‘hi Abi, Grant’ and I
grasp his hand in mine, my hand tingles as he refuses to allow me to release it
instead moves it towards his lips and kisses it so gently.

‘It is a pleasure Abi’ he mumbles finally
releasing my hand as I exhale the breath I have been holding.

‘The pleasure is all mine’ I almost pant.

‘If only’ he whispers hardly audible in the
noise of the outside traffic.  He lifts his mobile to his ear and directs
someone to our location before a black sedan car appears beside us.  He opens
the door and gestures for me to enter.  It isn’t until I am seated beside him
that I suddenly realize what a foolish thing I have done, I am in a car with a
stranger.  I glance sideways and query,

‘You aren’t a serial killer or anything are
you?’ I speak in an amused tone with a serious undertone.  He observes me for a
moment before grinning, ‘probably something you should have ascertained before
entering the lion’s den Abi’

I grin back ‘yeah probably’ and I relax he
isn’t a serial killer ‘where we going?’

‘You fancy a drink with a view?’

‘Sure, I leave all the plans to you’ I
assure him, ‘I just need to be away from the hotel’

‘Do you love him?’  He suddenly asks.

‘No’ I whisper ‘but I am sad that it resulted
in this, I should have gone with my gut instinct’

‘Always a good idea’ he agrees ‘you
sleeping with him?’

I raise an eyebrow at his audacity ‘that is
a bit personal is it not?’ he just regards me casually as though he asked as to
whether I take sugar in my tea.  Our gaze locks and I feel the sexual
attraction there once again his eyes burning into mine. My hand moves to my
stomach to calm my insides before I answer, ‘no, not for months’ and exhale a
breath averting my gaze.