All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One (34 page)

“Hello,” he offered a half smile.

“Hello. I really think you should sleep now. I need to figure out what happened to you.”

He moved closer, letting his nose graze my jaw. “I’ll go to sleep if you stay with me.”

“I can’t. You’d be worried about this too if you were sober.”

“Maybe. But thank you for worrying for me. I love that my girl cares so much about me.”

“We talked about this. I’m not your girl, Hale.”

He moved his head back and his eyes were sad for the first time since this hit him. “Yes you are,” it was almost a plea.

“Since when,” I scoffed.

His right hand slid down the wall and landed on my hip. “Since you signed your name on that drawing. The name I gave you.”

“We’re not together,” I whispered.

“We are.”

I took a deep breath. “How so?”

“Well, you don’t want anyone but me.”

I crossed my arms. “I’m not sure I ever actually said I wanted you.”

“You at the very least insinuate it.”

“How do I insinuate it?”

He pushed me all the way against the wall a few seconds before he lifted me up. Again, my legs went around him as my fingers went to his hair. When he moved his mouth against mine his movements weren’t as smooth and calculated as they normally were. But it didn’t make it any less enjoyable.

He walked us to my bed and fell onto it with me under him. He pulled my sweater off before I remembered that I shouldn’t have let him. I didn’t want to do this when he wasn’t himself.

I pushed at his shoulders and he moved back, his face a few inches above mine.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You’re on something. I don’t think we should do this right now.”

His face sank. “But…you’re mine. I wanted to show you how much I—”

I covered his mouth with my hands. “Don’t say anything. Please.”

“Why?” he said when his mouth was free. “You already know. It took me a little while to figure it out. But I finally did. I wanted it from you before I even knew you had it from me. Funny…”

“I just need you to not say it.”

“Tell me why?”

His arms were at my sides on the bed as he towered over me. He was so close, but it never felt like enough.

I put my hand on his face and said, “If you say it, then all of this is real. I don’t know if I can handle it then.”

He went on with his thought like he hadn’t heard me speak. “I thought I knew before. But when I really knew…it was when you helped me with Ethan. You didn’t hesitate for a second that whole day. You were beautiful. And strong.”

His eyes were closing and opening so slowly. “I said I wanted you to love me. When I first said it, it was for selfish reasons. Maybe it still is. But I just wanted you to belong to me. I wasn’t sure why. But I am so sure now. Rory…”

He kissed me again, but it was different this time. Slow and calm. It almost made me think he was actually aware of what was going on. But if he were then we wouldn’t be doing this. When he was in his right mind, he didn’t want this with me.

He stopped himself and sat me up with him. He handed me my sweater and I put it on.

He pulled my necklace out from under the sweater and held it in his palm. “I didn’t know how to say it. So I gave you this. I know I can’t say it. And we’re not supposed to feel it. But it’s there. At least for me.” He rested the locket against me. “You’re the only one I thought should have it.”

His eyes were starting to droop. I got off of the bed and laid him down before I pulled the covers over him.

“I promise I’m going to find out how this happened to you,” I told him.

With closed eyes he said, “I know.”

I started walking away and I heard him mumbling out a song. I couldn’t know for sure but it sounded like Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

I closed the door behind me when I went out to my family. They were quiet and tense as they waited.

“What did he do?” Mom asked.

“Nothing.” I sat on the couch and they did the same. “He couldn’t have.”

“What do you mean? He’s wasted,” Hadley gestured to the door. “Are you saying it happened out of nowhere?”

I tapped on my knee. “Kind of.”

They eyed me like I was naïve. Then Mom said, “It couldn’t have happened for no reason. Doesn’t he have a less than stunning past?”

I tried to stay calm. “Yes. But he’s different now. He doesn’t do that anymore. He’s trying to be better. For Ethan.” For me. “He wouldn’t have done this.”

“Then how did it happen?”

I held my hands up. “I have no clue. We didn’t separate for even a second since History. Then in Art he started acting weird. Even if he did take something himself, he could have only done it before History started. And I don’t know what could have taken two and a half hours to kick in.”

Hadley thought for a few seconds. “You didn’t leave him at all?”

I shook my head.

She looked at our mom. “Do you think this has something to do with the scrapbook and that dead animal?”

I hadn’t had any real time to think about. But I should have seen it sooner. Hale was on the list of people the stalker was watching.

“If it does have something to do with it,” Mom said, “then we’re all at risk. This just became very, very real.”

My head fell and my fingers got tangled in the black locks. “What am I supposed to do about this? Someone wants to hurt me, for whatever reason. And now they’re after the people I love. What would have happened if whoever drugged him gave him too much? He could have overdosed. Then he’d be gone. Dead and it would be all my fault.” It was so easy to lose him. He could have just slipped through my fingers before I even got the chance to stop it.

“So, basically,” Hadley stated, “We’re fucked in a big bad way?”

“I think we are,” I nearly whimpered.

“No,” Mom threw her hands up. “We are all going to be just fine. Even Hale. It’s three antichrists against one person. How can we lose?”

Her confidence was comforting but it wasn’t enough. “We can lose because we don’t know who it is. They can get into our home. They can drug Hale without anyone noticing. This person is clever.”

“Then we’ll be more clever than them.”



I was sitting in bed with Hale when he woke up again. He was groggy and he looked a little sick.

He sat up and pressed his palms to his eyes. “What happened?”

“Well, as far as I know, some time today you were drugged. I have no clue when. Or how.”

He looked at me with his mouth opened. “Drugged?” He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. “This does feel familiar. The comedown. Waking up next to a girl.”

I didn’t let him see the look on my face. “Yeah. Apparently you get a little…friendly when you’re high.”

I could see him about to panic. “What did I do to you? I’m so sorry. I—”

“It’s okay,” I rubbed his back. “It wasn’t much. You just got really playful,” I smiled to try and calm him down. “We kissed a couple times.”

He looked upset by that. “I was the one who initiated it?”

“Yeah.”

His expression darkened. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Well it wasn’t like I did much to stop it.”

He looked at me cautiously. “Did you do anything at all?”

“A little. Only because I knew you didn’t really want to be doing it.”

He covered his face with his hands. “I am so, so sorry, Rory. I’m sorry I didn’t stop when you tried to make me. And I’m sorry I kissed you when you didn’t want it.”

I could see the guilt in his eyes and it was because of me. He thought he did something wrong, but the truth was that he didn’t have control. He would never do something like that when he was sober.

“It’s okay. And just so you know, there’s never a time when I don’t want to be kissing you. Just because I stop myself doesn’t mean I want it any less.”

He put a hand on my knee. “Was there anything else I did that I need to know about?”

I was pretty sure he almost told me he loved me. But I didn’t need him to know. He was loopy. It doesn’t count.

“No,” I lied. “I just put you to bed and you fell asleep.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Of course.”

His eyes were pleading, “Don’t tell Mason, Mollie, or Ethan about this. Especially Ethan. I don’t want to risk him relapsing.”

“I won’t tell them. But Hadley and my mom saw you when I brought you in. So they know. They think that the person who gave me the scrapbook is the one who did this. They got to you when I was with you and that terrifies me.”

“This isn’t your fault, Rory.”

But it was. I was the target and because of that, the people in my life were all in danger. This wasn’t someone just trying to scare me now. They took physical action against my best friend. This was meant to hurt, not scare me.

Well, they succeeded. But that wasn’t all they did.

Attack me, and I’ll only kill you. Attack the people I love? Then I kill you slowly. I’ll make it count and I’ll enjoy every single scream I get from you.

I couldn’t leave him alone now. Not when he was in the line of fire. There was a possibility that the stalker would move on to someone else, but I couldn’t take the chance. Mom and Hadley were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Jenna too. We were demons and a human couldn’t match us in a fight.

But Hale…he was so human. It was like he was made of glass. It would take nothing to shatter him.

“Will you stay with me again tonight?” I asked him. “I want to make sure you’re safe.”

He smiled and kissed my forehead. “I appreciate your worry, but I’m a lot bigger than you. I can keep myself safe.”

“Not like I can.”

He almost looked amused. “You think you’re stronger than me?”

“I know I am.”

His eyes turned serious and I think he was catching on to what I was saying. “Need to know?”

“Yes. Will you please stay?”

He considered it. Then he sighed. “I should just start leaving clothes here. I hate sleeping in my pants.”

“What do you normally sleep in?”

He shrugged lazily. “A t-shirt and my boxers. Or pajama bottoms. Either that I have at the time.”

I don’t have anything like that for him here and I said as much.

“That’s alright. What’s one more night in my pants?”

I laughed. “You know you don’t actually have to wear them. Assuming you have boxers on under them.”

“Why would you assume that?”

I blushed and looked away from him.

He put his hand on my shoulder, “I was kidding. I’m not that brand of evil.”

“Good. Cuz I think we’d need to take some time apart if you were. Some things I just can’t forgive.”

“I understand.”

It was still fairly early, so we left my room and I made him something to eat. I didn’t want to stress him out anymore for the day so I cut out the stalker talk. It could wait until tomorrow.

He texted Mason with some kind of excuse why he wouldn’t be home tonight. If he thought Hale was lying, he didn’t give himself away. Maybe part of him knew that Hale needed to be here. If what he said to me was true, I’m sure Mason picked up on Hale and my dependence for each other. It must be clear to everyone by now.

“Are you feeling better?” Mom asked while we all ate ice cream around the table.

“Yes. I feel somewhat back to normal. Tomorrow should be better,” he responded.

Hadley pulled her spoon out of her mouth and said, “Must be annoying to have such a long recovery time.”

Mom slightly smacked her arm and gave her a look.

“I forgot what it felt like, “Hale admitted. “Being without control over my own head. Not feeling worry or pain.”

I turned my head to him. “Do you miss it?”

Without hesitation he said, “No. Because it wasn’t real.” He took my hand under the table, “This is.”

I squeezed his hand, unable to say what I wanted to. Not only because of the company, but because he didn’t want to hear it.

We cleaned off our dishes and when Mom and Hadley went upstairs, Hale and I went to my room. We got ready for bed.

“Do we have to go to school tomorrow?” I asked while I pulled the covers down.

He got in bed. “Yeah I think so. Whoever is doing this likes to do it at school. If we stay here they may try other places.”

I moved next to him and laid down.

“Are you scared of them?” he asked as he shut out my nightstand lamp. The room was dark but I could still see him.

“I’m not scared of what they might do to me. But I’m absolutely petrified about what they might do to everyone else.”

He laid facing me. “Everyone will be fine. We’ll get through anything that comes at us.”

“How can you believe that when we’re helpless to this person? They can—”