Almost A Spinster (6 page)

Jane rubbed her eyes. “I know. When I hear myself say it out loud, it sounds so foolish, but at the time it seemed to make perfect sense. Especially when Wesley was explaining it all to me.”

Saying his name caused memories of their kiss to flood her mind, and not for the first time. Her eyes fluttered shut and she could still taste him on her lips, feel his hands doing such wicked, wicked things. She shivered. They were things she had wanted.

Still wanted.

“Well, it isn’t foolish, exactly,” Felicity said, putting a finger on her bottom lip as she considered it all. “Tonight you
were
the center of attention. Men were practically fighting to dance with the woman who has garnered the attention of the famously flirtatious Lord Wesley Stanton.”

Felicity let out an unladylike snort. “Oh, yes you do, you simply don’t like to admit it, even to yourself. You said everything I saw at the ball tonight was a lie. A fabrication meant to trick society. But on the terrace, there was no one around. You were kissing Wesley and he was definitely kissing you back. And that wasn’t for show. It wasn’t for David’s benefit. It was real.” Her friend slid across the settee so she could reach Jane’s hand and took it. Her gentle squeeze made Jane look at her again. “What
are
your feelings for Wesley?”

Jane stared at Felicity, opening and shutting her mouth as she tried to find the right words to say. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. Because she didn’t know the answer.

Or, at least, she didn’t want to face the answer. Because that would mean that all this time she hadn’t known her own heart. That she had wasted her affection and her reputation on one man… when all along her soul had reached out, ignored, to another.

She covered her face, but she wasn’t forced to make the answer she couldn’t formulate because the parlor door came open and the family butler stepped inside.

“Excuse me, Lady Jane,” Jenkins said with a low bow. “But a message just arrived for you.”

Jane’s heart leapt into her throat as she stared at the envelope Jenkins held out. She got to her feet, barely supported by her shaking knees, and tried to make herself move toward him even as her mind raced. Who had sent the letter? Was it Wesley? Was it about the kiss? Was it ending their charade?

“My lady?” Jenkins asked, his brow creasing with worry as she remained standing in her spot, frozen by fears.

Felicity got to her feet and hurried over to the servant. Taking the note, she smiled. “Lady Jane is a bit tired. Could we have some tea, perhaps, despite the late hour?”

Jenkins nodded. “Of course.”

When he had disappeared, Felicity turned back to Jane. She held up the note. “I have never seen you this way. You must-” She hesitated. “You must love him a great deal.”

Jane started and the blood that had drained from her face came rushing back to heat her cheeks. “Who, David?” she croaked.

Felicity pursed her lips as she grabbed Jane’s hand and forced the message into her fingers. “No. Not David. Read your note, for heaven’s sake.”

Jane turned her back. She wasn’t sure she could take Felicity’s knowing stare on her as she read the words from Wesley. She turned the envelope over and stared at the seal. Just as she suspected, it was the Stanton “S”, though the seal was slightly different from the one Wesley usually used.

“Well?”

Jane shook her head at Felicity’s impatient question and opened the envelope. She removed a small sheet of exquisite and very expensive linen paper and unfolded it. The hand was small, neat and decidedly feminine. The note was not from Wesley.

“What is it, Jane?”

Jane read the words again. Then a third time. Her heart rate increased with each instance. Slowly, she turned back to her friend and stared at her.

“It is from Wesley’s grandmother,” she said softly, unable to keep shock and confusion from her voice.

“Lady Stanton?” Felicity repeated as she reached for the note Jane held out.

“She asks… or rather
demands
an audience with me tomorrow morning.”

Felicity’s eyes came up to meet Jane’s, wide and filled with interest. “What do you think she wants?”

“I haven’t the faintest notion, but I believe it’s safe to guess that her ladyship wishes to discuss my relationship with her grandson.” Jane turned to look out the window at the darkened alley behind the parlor. Anxiety arced through her like a lightening bolt. “And I have no idea what I shall say to her.”

Chapter Five

“Bloody hell!”

Wesley rubbed his throbbing temples as he read and re-read the missive his butler had placed beside his morning paper. The words swam before his eyes. It was far too early for this.

The servant looked at him with impassive eyes. “Is there something amiss, my lord?” he asked in that bored tone butlers of the Empire probably went to some special school to perfect.

“No,” Wesley groaned, his tone belying his answer. His head was pounding from too much drink. And the joke of it was that getting himself properly smashed the night before hadn’t even done the one blasted thing needed more than anything else.

It hadn’t made him forget the feel of Jane’s slender arms as they came around his neck. It hadn’t erased the press of her full lips or her soft sigh of surrender on the terrace. It sure as hell hadn’t made him forget the pointed words Felicity Ellis had spoken. How far was he willing to go to have Jane?

Far enough to risk his heart? To risk telling her the truth now instead of waiting until he was sure she was over David? To risk telling her that he had loved her for as long as he could remember and that he didn’t want to
pretend
anything anymore. That he wanted everything they had done to trick the
ton
to be a reality?

“Is there anything I can do to assist you, Lord Stanton?” Greenville asked.

Wesley started. In the midst of his musings over Jane, he’d all but forgotten the butler’s presence.

“Yes. Tell Harris to prepare my best. My grandmother has summoned me to her side. I’m to be there in just under and hour, so we will have to make haste.”

As Greenville bowed out of the room, Wesley frowned. As much as he loved her and cherished the time he spent with her, he hated to see his grandmother in her weakened state. It was so different from the memories he held in his heart. Lady Stanton had raised him after the death of his parents. In many ways, she had been like a mother to him. And now she was confined to a wheelchair. Though she had grown stronger since her last attack, her doctors still frowned when they saw to her. And murmured quiet sentiments of sorrow that she would not be long for the earth.

It killed him to hear that, to smile and pretend when he knew what was coming over the horizon. It was going to be even harder to hide his reactions in his current condition. Hung-over and lost over Jane.

She would surely see his torment and offer words of comfort, no doubt, but also ask questions. Ones he had no answers to. And she could not take the worry away as she had when he was a child.

No one but Jane could clear his mind now. And only if he was brave enough to ask her.

#

The dim lighting in Lady Stanton’s private parlor only increased Jane’s nervousness. She smiled at the footman who had led her there and could only hope that her expression didn’t waver or reflect her inner turmoil. No matter how confused and emotional she was about the unexpected, out of control kiss she’d shared with Wesley last night, she didn’t want his grandmother to know anything was amiss. Not if his happiness would make the elderly lady’s final days a little more peaceful. That was part of the bargain they had struck. Wesley had kept up his end… she owed the same to him.

She took a seat on a settee and folded her trembling hands in her lap. Shutting her eyes, she tried to regain focus, but her treacherous mind could do only one thing: Take her back again and again, to the night before. To the feel of Wesley’s lips burning against hers. To the way her body had reacted so unexpectedly to that sinful touch.

And to Felicity’s assertion that Jane didn’t want her charade with Wesley to be pretend at all.

Her eyes flew open. That was ridiculous.

She was saved from her thoughts when the door to the adjoining bedchamber came open and a maid entered, pushing a wheelchair before her that contained Lady Stanton. Jane came to her feet on shaky knees.

“Good afternoon, my lady,” she managed to croak out.

“Sit, my dear. Please sit.”

Lady Stanton waved Jane back to the chair as the maid set her mistress in place and locked the wheels of the contraption in place. Without question or hesitation, the young woman quickly poured the tea and then inclined her head toward her mistress.

“That will be all, Marianne,” Lady Stanton said with a warm smile. “And will you close the door on your way out? I shall ring if we require any further assistance.”

The maid nodded, then did her ladyship’s bidding, leaving Jane alone with Lady Stanton. But now that she was sitting with her, Jane didn’t feel the knot of worry in her chest… or at least it wasn’t so large and overpowering.

It had been nearly eight months since Lady Stanton had last been out in Society and Jane had almost forgotten what she looked like. She was the picture of the perfect grandmother from every sweet childhood story. Soft and tender with lines on her face that said she smiled often. Her bright green eyes put Jane to mind of Wesley’s eyes.

Why, she wasn’t someone to fear at all! All Jane had to do was reassure the lady that Wesley’s future would be happy and the woman could find peace.

“I hope you don’t mind meeting in my private sitting room,” Lady Stanton asked. “It is difficult for me to move about the house now that the doctors insist upon me staying in my bed during the majority of the day.”

Jane shook her head. “Of course I don’t mind, my lady. I’m pleased to be able to share tea with you. Your comfort is most important.”

“Perhaps you wonder why I have invited you today?” her ladyship asked, leaning forward to take her cup.

“I admit, I am curious to know the reason for this honor,” Jane admitted as she reached for her own tea. Her statement wasn’t exactly a lie. She was sure it had something to do with her pretended courtship with Wesley. She only wasn’t clear on why Lady Stanton asked her now and on such short notice.

Jane took a sip of tea just as Lady Stanton cleared her throat. “I won’t mince words, my dear. I have invited you here because I heard a report last night that involved you, my grandson and a most passionate kiss on a terrace at the Ketterick ball.”

Jane barely missed spraying her mouthful of tea across the parlor. She managed to swallow as she snatched up a linen napkin to she wipe warm liquid from her chin. While she tried to regain her composure, she looked at Lady Stanton. Sweet and grandmotherly indeed! Although the woman looked frail in her little wheelchair, her eyes were incredibly focused… and waiting for a reply.

One Jane wasn’t sure how to give. Her heart pounded, drowning out all other noise in the room and leaving her gasping for breath. She and Wesley had been seen? Worse yet, that passionate moment was being gossiped about? She could be ruined!

“I-My lady-” she stammered.

Lady Stanton arched a brow as she took a sip of tea in an infuriatingly calm manner. As if she hadn’t just ripped the floor out from under Jane and sent her scrambling for purchase.

“I have always liked you, Jane.”

Jane blinked. A change of subject? “I-Th-Thank you, my lady,” she whispered, straining for any way to avoid facing the stunning fact that Lady Stanton knew about The Kiss.

The other woman leaned back in her chair, but her gaze never left Jane’s face. She was watching, appraising and Jane found herself longing to stay in her ladyship’s good graces. And for more than just the sake of the ruse she and Wesley were playing out.

“No one would have blamed you for hiding away after your father’s… unfortunate incident.”

Jane winced. It was a kind way to phrase the public humiliation which had ruined her family’s fortune and sullied their name.

“But you did not hide,” Lady Stanton continued. “In fact, you came out boldly and faced the whispers of those around you. That showed your character.” Lady Stanton smiled that deceptively sweet smile again.

Jane gathered her thoughts. “Well, your grandson was certainly part of helping me through those difficult first months. He was nothing but kind to me after I developed a-a friendship with David Langston. If I was bold, it was only with the help of my friends.”

That statement was true. Wesley had accepted her from the moment she turned her affections on David. He had never wavered. Never questioned the prudence of allowing a girl with her past, with her family name and reputation and lack of fortune, into their group. If he had discouraged David from pursuing her, as many of his other friends had done, she had never known about it.

Even now, his ingenious plan had made her the talk and the toast of the
ton
, as a dozen wilting bouquets at home in her parlor from potential suitors reminded her daily. Wesley had, in so many ways, saved her.

Lady Stanton’s smile grew with the praise of her beloved grandson. “I even thought I saw something more between the two of you after you came out to Society. The way Wesley watched you, the way you sometimes smiled at him… but you seemed determined to give your affections to that-” she sighed and rolled her eyes in a surprisingly unladylike display. “Well, David is not a
terrible
person, but he’s always been a bit of a dolt. Honestly, the child once got his head caught in my stair rail.”