Almost A Spinster (24 page)

The very idea of seeing Maddie again made Nathan’s heart pound. But he was still left with a staggering sense of confusion. The Duke had exhibited no anger, there were no threats. And none seemed to be forthcoming.

For his entire life, Nathan had encountered men who flaunted and used their rank to crush others beneath their heels. But Kincaid was not like that. Come to think of it, neither was Fulton. Nathan respected both men enormously. And they seemed to respect him in return.

Did that mean that his view of their class had been twisted by his father? By his past? Become so distorted that he had been unable to see? Had his prejudices blinded him… kept him from happiness?

“I do want you to know that if you and my daughter come to some kind of understanding, that I expect you will still come to me and ask for her hand. A father likes to have those little rituals.”

Before Nathan could respond to that stunning statement, the other man had opened the door.

“Mad-” he began.

But before he could even complete her name, Madeline hurried to him and pushed her way into the room. Nathan got to his feet and stared at her. Her dark eyes were wild and expressive with worry and anxiety. But none of it was for herself. It was for him.

“Papa,” she began, breathless. “Please, let me have my say.”

The Duke pressed his hands to her shoulders and gave a light squeeze. “I am not the one who needs your explanations.” He turned her toward Nathan and gave a little shove. “You wanted me to step away and let you make your own mistakes. Do so.”

Then he left the room, leaving the door open enough that there would be no scandalized talking about their being alone later.

Nathan stepped toward her, but then stopped himself. He was staring at a person he at once knew and was a stranger. A person he had come to love and yet convinced himself he could not have.

And he had no idea what to say to her. Or if there was
anything
he could say that could overcome the lifelong vows he had made. And the lies she had told in order to pretend their differences away.

#

Maddie bit her lip. Nathan had moved on her at first, but now he had stopped and was just
staring
at her. His face was unreadable and his eyes cloaked. She had no idea of his thoughts or his feelings when it came to her. Her heart sank. It was entirely possible that everything was ruined.

The old Maddie would have run away from that possibility. She recognized that fact. At one time, she would have been too afraid to face her mistakes and simply waited until they had faded.

But she was no longer that girl. That other person, the frightened mouse, had died the moment Nathan rode into her life. And little by little, she had been reborn thanks to his patience and his… his love. He had loved her, in that moment, she knew he had.

And she wouldn’t let him turn away from that just because she had a few more embellishments to her name than she had confessed to from the beginning. She was a new Maddie, and this Maddie intended to fight.

Swallowing, Maddie forced herself to continue, “I didn’t like who I was when I met you. But you liked the girl you thought me to be. So I wanted to be her. I wanted to be the kind of woman that a man like you could
like
and talk to and…” She blushed and cast a quick glance over her shoulder to the slightly open door. She lowered her voice. “And want.”

“And was that girl you?” Nathan asked. “What was the truth and what was a lie?”

Maddie bit back a gasp. “Only my name was the lie. My station. Everything we talked about, all the books we both like, my fear of horses, my brothers, all that was true. All that was
me
.”

Nathan shook his head and there was a sadness on his face that made Maddie want to weep. “But your station is, I’m afraid, perhaps too insurmountable an obstacle.”

She fisted her hands at her sides. She knew full-well why Nathan felt that way. How deep seeded his feelings on the propriety of class and rank were.

“Because of your father?” she said slowly. “Because of who he was and how he behaved?”

Nathan nodded once. “I told you about him. I will not have other people whispering about how I jumped above my station. How I married a woman for her rank or dowry. I will not be humiliated like that.”

Slowly, Maddie shook her head. She felt pity for Nathan’s growing up, for the pain he must have endured, but there was a stronger emotion that burned within her now.

It was anger. Something she rarely allowed herself to express, but now she couldn’t control it.

“So you would rather throw away a chance at love and happiness because you don’t want people to
talk
?” she asked, moving on him and closing the final gap between them. “I have lived with talk for a long time, Nathan. It is not the worst thing that can happen.”

“But if we were together it would be so much worse than anything you have ever endured,” he argued.

Maddie shivered. So he was thinking about a future together, as well. Even if he was fighting against it, that possibility was in his mind.

Which meant she had a chance.

She caught his arm and was instantly hit by heady desire when she touched him. By the way his eyes widened, then darkened, she knew he felt the same. She struggled to keep her thoughts on her retort, not the reactions of her body.

“You have no idea what I have endured,” she said. “But I do not regret any moment of it. Everything we overcome, makes us who we are. And when other people whispered and giggled and pitied me behind my back, it helped me realize that I couldn’t care what they said or did or thought. You helped me see that, too. Now please, see it for yourself.”

Nathan frowned and suddenly he caught her upper arms. He pulled her a little closer and his voice was low and harsh when he said, “I cannot give you diamonds or fine gowns. I cannot offer you the best of things. I work hard and I make a decent living, but I never will afford those things. Even if we could overcome the whispers, what about the life you have been accustomed the living?”

She shook her head. “Do you know me so little? The day you almost ran me down on Quint, I was wearing my favorite gown. And you thought I was a
servant
, Nathan, so that should tell you something about my fashion sense. As for the life I am accustomed to living, I will be happy to leave it behind.”

“You say that now, but in a year-”

She lifted her fingers to his lips. They were warm and firm beneath her touch. “The happiest I have ever been was never in a ballroom or a seamstresses shop. The happiest I have ever been is walking around the lake with you. And that takes no money.”

He hesitated and Maddie fought the urge to rejoice. She was breaking down his walls, she could feel it. And now she had to take the biggest risk of her life. Yet it didn’t frighten her, it thrilled her.

“I love you, Nathan Blackstone,” she whispered. “With all my heart and soul. I love you enough that I do not care about anything except spending my life making you happy. I want to read books together by the fire, I want to finish learning how to ride Quint, and I want you to touch me again like you did that last day by the lake where I finally felt like I had found the missing piece to my life.”

Nathan’s eyes widened with each pointed word. They softened, filled with emotions.

“Do you love me?” Maddie asked. “
That
is the only thing that matters to me.”

Nathan smoothed his rough palm over her cheek, cupping her face with so much gentleness that she could hardly breath for the choking press of tears in her throat.

“I do love you, Madeline Reynolds,” he whispered and his voice cracked. “I love you so much that it pains me to think of the hardship you will face if you marry me.”

He sighed, a resigned sigh. But also a happy one. And then, for the first time since he discovered who she truly was, he smiled. And Maddie’s heart swelled.

“Then marry me,” he whispered. “Marry me, Maddie. And challenge and confuse and delight me for the rest of my life.”

“Yes,” she whispered as she wound her fingers into his hair and drew his mouth down for a kiss. “Yes.”