Alpha Girl (15 page)

‘You’re going to write lines,’ he told me at once. ‘
I will not talk during class
.’

‘Tom,’ I said, almost laughing as if it was some kind of joke. ‘What’s the matter with you?’

‘You will address me as Mr. Stone,’ he said.

‘You’re not serious are you?’ I asked.

‘Very serious.’

‘What the hell has got into you?’ I demanded.

This didn’t go down well with him.

‘I am your
teacher
, Rose,’ he snapped. ‘You can’t talk to me like that.’

I understood. Mr. Stone wanted to re-establish his dominance in the classroom after our kiss.

‘I’m sorry,
Sir
,’ I said, sarcastically. ‘Since when did you make
anyone
write lines?’

He didn’t answer. Instead, he placed a sheet of paper in front of me and tapped it with his index finger. ‘
Lines
,’ he said. ‘Now.’

I stared at him as he walked back to his desk and sat down. He began marking homework at once.

‘You’re really making me do this?’ I asked.

He ignored me.

I swallowed hard, and slowly lowered myself into my seat, staring at the stark-white sheet of paper in front of me.

‘How many times?’ I asked through gritted teeth.

‘Until you fill the paper,’ he told me without looking up.

With a shaking hand I grabbed my pen and began to write.

I will not talk during class.

I will not talk during class.

I will not talk during class.

Soon, the words didn’t seem like words at all. They became strange and foreign
like they’d been invented at random. Thankfully, it didn’t take long, but the lunch break was almost over by the time I’d finished.

Once the paper was filled, I grabbed my bag and marched to Mr. Stone’s desk. I slammed the filled sheet on his desk, making him jump a little.

‘There you go,
sir
,’ I said, my nostrils flaring. ‘Can I go now?’

Something in Mr. Stone’s eyes made me believe that he felt bad for forcing me to write lines, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he waved a hand to dismiss me.

I stormed from the room, my heart pounding furiously in my chest. I wasn’t sure why I was so angry; I guess I’d thought he would treat me differently. I was nothing more than a stupid little girl to him.

I ran straight to the girl’s bathroom where I spent the entire next period. Panic was beginning to set it. Maybe Mr. Stone regretted the kiss. Perhaps he didn’t want me anymore. 

The thought of his rejection was enough to paralyze me. How foolish I’d been to think that he’d want a child like me.

The kiss had meant nothing.

After washing my face in the sink I decided what I had to do. I needed to set this straight. I went back to the classroom but found that he had gone so I headed straight for the teacher’s lounge. It was a risky move, and was sure to infuriate him, but he couldn’t refuse a meeting with a student in front of the other teachers.

Once I was outside the teacher’s lounge, I knocked on the door with a shaking hand. It took a few seconds before the head of the English department, Mrs. Kim, answered the door.

‘Hello,’ I said at once, feeling rather foolish. ‘Is Mr. Stone available? I just … I need to talk to him about my last assignment.’

‘Sorry, he just left for the day, actually.’

‘Left?’ I repeated. ‘Where did he go?’
Like I have a right to know his whereabouts,
I thought bitterly.

Mrs. Kim pursed her lips and looked over her spectacles at me. She could tell I’d been crying. ‘He wasn’t feeling well. Sorry, what was your name again?’

‘Um … Maria,’ I lied. ‘Thanks.’

I scampered away before she could ask me any more questions.

‘Mr. Stone was acting so weird today,’ Sadie muttered to me during next period. She was wearing a particularly low-cut blouse today.

‘Yes,’ I agreed. It was hard to talk. My throat had closed up and the back of my nose stung as tears threatened to spill.

‘Did you see when he looked down my top?’ said Sadie, throwing me a radiant smile. He hadn’t even given Sadie the time of day.

‘Stop deluding yourself,’ I snapped.

‘What?’ Sadie narrowed her eyes at me.

‘Mr. Stone hasn’t looked at you once all day,’ I said through gritted teeth.

Sadie laughed. ‘You’re acting jealous.’

I was still angry about the detention as I walked home, half expecting Mr. Stone’s beat up car to come rumbling up beside me. But it didn’t.

I stepped onto Maple Street, watching my feet as I walked along the pavement. I kicked a stone for several meters, muttering under my breath.

Two houses away from my own home, I looked up, expecting to see Mr. Stone’s car parked in front of my house.

It wasn’t.

Monday – 2 days to go

Thomas hadn’t contacted me all weekend.

Not only that he hadn’t looked at me or talked to me in class that day.  I was hurting on the inside; it was torture.

I was still furious about the detention, but more so I was lovesick. How could he kiss me, and then ignore me completely? During lunch, Tom was on grounds duty, so I tried to corner him whilst his back was turned. It didn’t work.

As soon as he saw me approaching, he froze with his mug of instant coffee halfway towards his lips. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

‘Mr. St-’ I’d barely gotten his name past my lips before he turned on his heel and walked away from me. I’d never felt pain like it before, even during my episodes.

It was two days until I was due for another episode. I had the event circled in my calendar. I was already beginning to feel the onset of the sickness, but it wasn’t too unbearable yet.

At least I was able to attend my shift that evening, anyway. Estelle seemed to sense that something was wrong.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ Estelle asked me when it was close to closing time.

‘I’m fine,’ I said as I wiped down the counters.

‘You’ve been really tense all day. More so than usual, I mean.’

‘It’s nothing,’ I assured her.

‘Are you getting sick again?’ she asked.

I nodded. Estelle was very understanding of my illness, and didn’t ask questions.

‘Why don’t you go on home if you’re feeling sick? I’ll finish cleaning.’

‘Are you sure?’ I asked. I was beginning to feel clammy, after all.

Estelle nodded. ‘Go on.’

‘Thanks,’ I said, grabbing my bag and jacket.

‘See you, kiddo,’ Estelle waved, watching me exit the shop. I could tell she was still feeling guilty after last weekend’s escapades.

It was cold outside. Winter had decided to make an early appearance, and my breath created a mist in front of my face. Burying my hands underneath my armpits I began to walk down the street, hunched against the cold, but I didn’t get very far.

Parked outside the coffee shop was Mr. Stone’s car. He was outside too, leaning against the driver’s side door, watching me. He looked paler than usual, and wore an oversized coat that was frayed around the cuffs.

I took a deep breath and considered walking up to him and punching him in the face, but I decided against it. If he could ignore me, then I’d ignore him.

I turned on my heel and started walking the opposite way down the street. It was the wrong direction to get to my house, but I didn’t care.

‘Rose!’ he called at once.

I quickened my pace.

‘Rose!’ I could hear him running to catch up with me, his shoes slapping against the pavement.

‘Go away!’ I shouted over my shoulder.

He caught up with me quickly, his long legs covering more distance than my own short ones.

‘Will you stop for a moment?’ he said breathlessly.

‘Fuck off,’ I snapped, folding my arms across my chest. It was two days before an episode so I was bound to be grouchy. He didn’t know that though.

He stepped in front of me, preventing me from walking any farther. 

‘Please listen to me,’ he breathed, his hands on my shoulders.

‘Why should I?’

‘I know you’re mad at me, Rose, but can we please talk somewhere in private?’ He glanced around as if afraid someone was hiding in the bushes. ‘Please. There’s so much I want to tell you.’

I chewed on the inside of my lip. He looked a mess; his hair was ruffled, his face unshaven, and large bags circled his eyes. My anger was replaced with pity. 

‘You look like shit,’ I said bluntly.

The corner of his mouth twitched, hiding a smile. ‘You look lovely,’ he countered.

I took a deep breath. ‘Where do you want to go?’

Mr. Stone nodded towards his vehicle. ‘Just sit with me in the car for a chat, and then I’ll take you home.’

I allowed myself to be steered towards his car, and let Mr. Stone open the passenger door for me. It was nice and warm inside, and he turned the car on so I could place my hands in front of the vent, which blew out hot air.

‘I’m very sorry,’ he said, turning to face me at once.

‘You made me cry,’ I admitted.

‘I didn’t mean to.’

I crossed my arms once my fingers had been sufficiently defrosted. ‘Well?’

‘Rose, you must understand the position I am in,’ he said, running a hand over his unshaven face. ‘I can’t … I shouldn’t have kissed you-’

‘I kissed
you
,’ I interrupted, annoyed.

‘We kissed each other,’ he corrected. ‘But I allowed myself to enter that situation with you and it was irresponsible of me to take advantage of-’

‘You didn’t take advantage of me,’ I said at once.

‘Will you let me finish, please?’ he asked.

I grumbled, but fell silent.

‘I’m your teacher, which means this …
us
… it could never work. I could lose my job - hell, I could go to jail for this … for you.’

It took all the inner strength and will power I possessed not to cry in front of Mr. Stone. I didn’t want him to think I was a little girl who sobbed when she didn’t get her way. But I was losing control of the conversation and I could feel him slipping away with each passing second. I had to say something, anything …